Chapter 5

'When I was in the shower this morning some of my hair fell out. I thought it'd take longer than a few weeks of this crap for this to start.'

'More hair came out this morning. And not just a little.. it's like hand fulls'

'Kyle and I are going to shave my head tonight.'

'Rachel 'forgot' to pick me up after chemo today. How do you do that? Just forget a person..'

Rachel was not pleased with his shaved head to say the least.

"Adam.. your hair." She had said sounding like Adam had kicked her puppy.

"It was falling out so I figured I should go ahead and shave it before I got bald spots." Adam explained rubbing a hand over his smooth scale. It still felt strange.

"Didn't you wrap a cool towel around your head? That's supposed to help."

"How would you know what I do during treatment? You're never there." Adam knew it was a low blow but it was his fucking hair. Rachel grabbed her bag and angrily stomped out the door, slamming it behind her. She didn't come back for two days.

Being off of work was horribly boring. Adam was home all day, usually by himself. Kyle stopped by almost every day and dragged him around with him to do this and that. Today they were going to buy the books Kathrine, the worst therapist in the world, had recommended he read. Of course Kyle get's himself a date out of the deal.

"How does he do that?!" Adam wondered as they paid for their books. "He's full of shit. That's how." He thought with a chuckle.

After Kyle dropped him off so he could get ready for his last minute date, Adam laid on the couch and watched a movie. Rachel was supposed to be coming over after she attended yet another gallery opening. He pulled out his phone and glanced through all the drafts of text to Tommy and thought that he really should delete them all. What if someone found them? But he just couldn't. Every time his finger hovered over the delete button it just didn't feel right. Even though he hadn't actually sent them, just typing them out was becoming a stress reliever of sorts letting him vent his feelings where no one had to know.

He must have fallen asleep on the couch, because when Rachel opened the door and crept in, it startled him awake.

"Hey." he said holding his arms up for a hug.

Rachel faked and yawn and avoided his questioning arms. She said something about being tired and Adam dropped his arms, disappointed. She had become extremely distant in the last month and Adam didn't know what to do. Moments later Kyle burst through the door and everything crashed.

Kyle had caught Rachel kissing some guy in public. Here was the proof to what Adam had had a sinking suspicion of for a long time now.

Rachel had been cheating on him. He had the picture on Kyle's phone to prove it. He was dumb struck but he wasn't shocked. He had given her a guilt free way out and yet she had still gone and cheated. He had guessed that something wasn't right for a long time, the late nights and no calls were a big hint. After Kyle ran Rachel out of the house he tried to stick around to make sure that Adam was alright. He had to all but throw him out, promising to call him first thing in the morning and swearing that Kyle didn't need to take the sharp objects with him.

He was fine. Really. He was. Wasn't he? He didn't know anymore. Pain was just a constant blurry feeling these days. He couldn't tell where it was coming from anymore. It wasn't like he didn't cheat on her first. Even if it was a one night stand. He did it first. His hands weren't clean. At least he kind of hoped he did it first. The thought of her cheating for that long really didn't sit well with him but as he started thinking about it the more sense the thought made. Still Adam found himself laying on her side of the bed later, breathing in her sent that had become so familiar over the last few months.

He picked his phone up off the night stand and start to type out a message.

'So I was right. Rachel cheated on me. Now she's gone. I should feel worse than I do. But all I feel right now is how much I hate that unholy bitch. How dumb could I really be not to notice this by now?' Before he could stop his finger it hit the send button and Adam's heart dropped to the floor. Oh shit! He hadn't meant to send that!

Adam panicked and started hitting buttons thinking some how he'd stop the text mid transit. All he did was successfully send all of his texts from his draft folder.

'That's it. My life is over.' Adam thought tossing his phone violently against the bed. With a curse he picked it back up to make sure it wasn't damaged. He was so screwed. Tommy was going to think he was insane. Should he send a text trying to mitigate the damage? He didn't know what to do. God it had to be 20 messages he just sent.

Adam's face burned with humiliation. He was so stupid! He stared at his phone like it would jump up and bite him for a long time. He tried to rationalize that it'd be almost 4am in Pittsburgh and that Tommy was most likely asleep so that he won't see those text until the morning. But it was a cold comfort really. He could either have his full humiliation now or later.

After what felt like hours but was more likely minutes his phone pinged that he had a new text. He was almost to scared to check it. He picked up his phone and turned it over. His fingers were clammy and shaky as he swiped the screen to pull up the message.

'When you're ready to talk I'm here.'

Adam felt tears start to stream down his face. Before he knew it he was full on sobbing, clutching his phone in his hand. Skeletor peered at him over the edge of the bed before jumping up to lay next to him. Adam laid down and snuggled his face against the dogs soft fur. Breathing in the familiar smell. He cried for a long time, eventually having to stretch out to relieve some of the pain in his back. When he felt calm enough he grabbed his phone and started typing.

Tommy laid awake in his borrowed bed staring at the ceiling, It had to be around 4 am and he knew he should go back to sleep but his body must have decided 5 hours was enough sleep for the night. He had spent most of the day keeping his nieces entertained which had involved no less than 5 rounds of swinging, 2 tea parties, and one memorable hour where he tried to avoid them making him into a princess.

Tommy had been pushing the girls on the swings with the dreaded words were spoken by Rosie. "Uncle Tommy would be a pretty princess!"

Emily squealed with delight and soon both girls jumped off the swings and set off running for their rooms, leaving a slightly baffled and more than a little frightened Tommy behind. Moments later the girls came running back with feather boas, tiaras, and a makeup box in hand.

"Oh hell no." Tommy muttered and quickly made his way back to the house quicker than he'd admit later. The girls behind him giggled and gave chase after him. He'd never admit it but he quickly started running towards the house and up the back stairs. Soon he was cornered in the girls room and there was no escape.

The girls came barreling in cheering and laughing and Tommy accepted his fate. He thanked everything he could that Tess and Brendan had stepped out to go to the store. He can handle the girls doing this because it made them happy, but he'd damned if he let his brother see this.

"Alright alright. I'll be a princess. But no make up. That's where I draw the line." He said shaking his finger at the girls who clapped and cheered again.

"Princess uncle Tommy! Now we can have a princess only tea party!" Rosie cheered pulling him down into a chair that was far to small for him and a pink boa was draped over his shoulders. Emily pranced over to her toy box and started digging for something.

Moments later he felt plastic combs of the pink Disney princess tiara dig into the sides of his head and Emily returned with a plastic string of pearls that were then placed gently around his neck.

"There! Now lets have tea!" Emily gushed as she set her little tea set on the far to short table.

A grin spread on Tommy's face, he never really expected to be so accepted by his brother's family and if he was honest with himself he had to admit he kind of like it. He couldn't do it all day everyday but every now and then this was OK...as long as not to many people know about it.

He must of lost track of time talking and sipping 'tea' with the girls because he didn't realize he was being watched until he heard the click of a camera. He turned to see Tess smiling brightly and holding a small point and shoot camera, Brendan by her side grinning like an asshole.

"I think we have this years Christmas card." Tess teased.

Tommy threatened to smash the camera but Tess only laughed. When had she stopped seeing him as a threat?

He let his eyes drift shut and for a moment he thought he might just fall back asleep. Then his phone buzzed. Tommy cracked one eye open and looked at the plain black phone on the night stand. And sure enough, the face was lit up. He furrowed his brow, more than a little curious who'd be sending him a message at four in the morning. Just as he sat up it buzzed again and didn't stop for what felt like forever.

Someone just sent him a ton of texts. Now he was really confused. He grabbed his phone and flipped it open to find 23 new texts from a number not in his contacts. He flipped through his phone and started reading the messages. He quickly realized they were all from Adam. The texts seemed to be from different times, which confused him but it didn't really matter. Some were angry, others he seemed scared. When he reached the newest text he felt a clench in his chest and did the only thing he could. He text him back.

It was a good twenty minutes before Adam text him again.

'I'm sorry. I shouldn't bother you.'

'Adam. Don't be dense. I wouldn't have given you my number if I didn't intend for you to use it.'

'How are you?'

There was a long silence then his phone started buzzing with a incoming call.