Subject: Edward Cullen aka the Womanizer
Chapter Seventeen – The Bad
Bella laughed softly and shook her head. "I'm sure he meant my place, since I can cook." She gave me a wink and continued to make dinner arrangements as I sat there in stunned silence.
I called her place, our place. Why would I do that? I spent the night there, and I planned to do it as often as she'd allow me to, but damn, my head was doing that subconscious thing again.
I don't know how long I sat there in silence, trying to grasp what "our place" could possibly mean when Bella brought me out of my thoughts.
"Well, I have to be going now," Bella said as she stood up and shook hands with my father and Esme. "I have to head downtown for an appointment." That appointment was giving a statement at the station. Edward, are you coming?" She looked back at me in question, and I shook my head before I answered.
"Of course," I replied, absent-mindedly moving some paper work on my desk. "I'll be there in a minute." After she gave me a smile, Bella and Esme walked toward the exit in whispered conversation. Carlisle seemed to be having trouble with his paper work, accidently dropping some on the floor.
"Go ahead ladies, I'll be right there," he said, as they paused to try to help him. They shrugged their shoulders and walked out of my office and into Bella's.
"Are you all right, Edward?" Carlisle asked as he stood up with his paperwork in hand.
"Um, yes," I said a bit unsure. As if I could tell him, I was scared shitless. Talk about wearing your heart on the sleeve. I was wearing it on my fucking forehead in neon and it read, "I love Bella Swan." With a big flashing arrow.
Damn am I scaring Bella?
"It's all right, son. She seems to be fine," Carlisle said in a calm soothing tone. I looked at him, confirming my suspicions. My feelings for Bella were all over my face.
"I didn't even know that I said it," I said. "I don't even think that was the first time. Oh God, I left my toothbrush in her bathroom." I stood up and started to pace, running a nervous hand through my hair. "Fuck, she even told me about it and I dismissed it like it's no big deal."
"Edward, if she didn't say anything about it, you shouldn't either. That doesn't mean that now you should go out of your way to make sure she sees you taking it back home. That may be a step backward." He chuckled at my lost expression.
"Shit, I have no idea what I'm doing," I said, taking a few deep breaths. "My heart seems to be a few steps ahead of my mind."
"Edward, I have never seen you like this," Carlisle said, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
"I never felt like this," I whispered.
"How does it feel?"
"Amazing, scary, beautiful, earth shattering, and like if I was away from her too long, I might stop breathing," I admitted in a rush of jumbled words.
"That's love, son." He patted my shoulder and back. "Did I tell you I knew Esme was the one in less than two days after we first met?" I shook my head.
"Tell her."
My eyes widened and I shook my head again. "I can't. What if I scare her away?"
"You won't. Just as I can see how you feel about her, I can see the same look in her."
"I…I don't know how." I gulped; my mouth was suddenly dry.
"You'll know when the time is right," Carlisle said, gesturing toward the door. I took a deep breath and followed his lead toward my Bella.
Bella
We walked into the police station about thirty minutes after the meeting with Edward's adoptive parents. That meeting I learned something. I had known how I felt about Edward and had learned to come to terms with them. And I had my theories about how he felt about me. However, never had I thought that he'd fall in love with me just as quickly as I did with him. This was Playboy Edward Cullen.
Was it possible that he loved me, too?
The whole "love" thing was profound enough but now he called me "my love" and the way he said it sounded more like an expression than a pet name. Then there was the whole "our" thing. He called his place "our place" and it was the same for my apartment. Then there was his toothbrush. I had thought he'd forgotten about it, so I told him. He made it seem as if it was no big deal. Not only had he left the toothbrush, but also I noticed he left a t-shirt behind and a pair of gym shorts. He had left little pieces of him behind, and I cried a little after he left that morning.
Was this his way of telling me how he felt?
This relationship was complicated enough. I loved him so much already, and I was scared about how to tell him the truth. I was going to lose him. I was only delaying the inevitable. Was it wrong that I wanted as much time as I could have with him before he left me?
We were sitting in an office waiting for Officer Davis to return with some paperwork, when Edward brought me out of my thoughts.
"What's on your mind, my love?" Edward asked. One of his fingers twirled a few strands of my hair, his eyes locked with mine.
I shook my head. His beautiful green eyes looked so sincere and even a little concerned. As I smiled, his smile matched my own, reaching his eyes and making me melt onto his shoulder.
"I'm worried about Daniel," I said. I really was. The incident the previous evening was a turning point for the young man. He needed get the help or he was going to get worse. The latter: being anything from suicidal to homicidal. Either one, I couldn't live with. I was going to try to help him.
"Ms. Swan and Mr. Cullen, good morning," Officer Davis said as he entered the office.
"Good morning, Officer Davis. How is he this morning?" I asked, sitting up straighter in my chair. I squeezed Edward's hand that was sitting on his bouncing knee.
"He's pretty quiet right now. He seems defeated. Have you made a decision? Are you putting a restraining order on him?"
I shook my head. "No." I sensed Edward's body stiffened beside me, his hand tightening around mine. Shit, I was going to hear about this later.
"I'm his therapist," I replied, refusing to look in Edward's direction. "I can't help him if he can't come see me. I already received approval from his insurance this morning for supervised sessions. Someone from the local hospital is going to be joining me three times a week along with Daniel. If something happens again then I will consider pressing charges."
Edward's hand released mine, his arms crossing over his chest. I knew what I'd find in his expression if I looked at him.
"I'm glad he'll get the help he needs, Ms. Swan," Officer Davis said, cocking his head toward Edward. "I still feel very uneasy about this. He can be a danger to you." He was agreement with Edward, and I couldn't fault him on this. However, I was being honest, if another incident occurred, I would press chargers.
I continued to meet Officer Davis's eyes, refusing to meet the other gaze I felt toward me. I couldn't handle the look of disappointment and anger that I knew would plague Edward's handsome features.
A part of me wondered, if the look would be like the one I'd receive after he learned the truth. Crap like that did a number on a person's mind.
Edward seethed in silence as I filled out paperwork and arranged for Daniel's first supervised appointment through Officer Davis for Wednesday.
An hour after arrived, I walked out of the police station with Edward in tow. He overtook my shorter strides easily, opening the door of his car or me. After sliding into the driver's seat, he slipped into the traffic without a single glance in my direction. The silence was deafening. I expected him to be angry, however, I never pegged him as the silent angry type. I'd rather have him yelling, because the silence was much worse. It felt like I was sitting next to a ticking time bomb.
Since he refused to look or talk at me, I chose to do the same. As I looked out the window, it was then when I noticed heading away from the office. "Edward?"
"Shut up," he said flatly. I sighed, because it was coming, he just wanted privacy. Would something like this be the breaking point? Confrontations were something I could usually handle; I'd talked my way into peaceful solutions all the time. However, this was different. This fight revolved around someone I loved dearly.
Edward parked in his assigned parking spot of his apartment building. Without a word, he slid out his seat and moved to open my door. With an extended hand, he helped me to my feet, doing all of it in a clenched-teeth silence. It seemed that the tension between us only continued to rise. After riding the elevator up to his floor, he took my hand and walked quietly into his apartment.
The usually quiet click of the lock seemed almost louder than cruel beat of my racing heart. I stood there in silence, trying to prepare myself for what was about to be unleashed. I hadn't prepared enough.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he asked with a vicious hiss.
I kept my eyes locked on his, my voice steady, though I kept it a neutral tone."Nothing is wrong with me."
"You're going to let him near you again," he said to me, his face flushed, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I nodded in response.
"Damn it, Bella. How is that not fucking wrong?" He came within inches of me, his eyes wild and penetrating in an attempt to understand me.
"I have to help him. I'm his only chance," I said, trying to keep my voice down. Knowing if I raised my voice, it'd only anger him further.
"You can't save everyone, Bella!"
"I have to try." The tears I tried to beat back were starting to win over my need to be strong. I hated seeing him in this state of agitation. Even though he was completely right, I couldn't give up so early in Daniel's sessions with me.
"No you don't!" He stepped closer to me, forcing me against the door. He put a hand on each side of my head leaning in, his breath heavy against my mouth.
"I do. If I don't, then he'll turn suicidal or homicidal. I can't let that happen!" I said with desperation behind every word. Had he any idea how serious a sex addiction can be?
He shook his head, sweat popping up across his brow. He was so angry, that it practically radiated off him. "I don't care about him."
"I do," I whispered. "I can't live with myself if he killed himself. I couldn't live with myself if some poor woman tells him no and he takes her anyway." I couldn't have any more lives – no blood – on my conscious. Couldn't he understand that?
"I don't give a shit," he spat, pushing some of my hair roughly over my shoulder before he fisted it around his hand. "You are the only one that's important to me. If you let him back in then he'll keep fixating on you."
I shook my head. I won't let it happen.
"You don't know that, Bella!" I hadn't realized I had said anything aloud.
"Even if it does, he'll be watched. I'll never be alone with him." I tried to reason, but I knew, deep down, there was always a chance.
"Not twenty-four hours a fucking day!"
"He won't hurt me."
"Damn it, Bella!" He pushed away from the door and took a few steps back. "I love you too much to let someone like him fucking touch you! I won't stand for this. No fucking way."
I froze, and I held my fucking breath for a brief moment. He loves me. Tears fell from my eyes as confusion filled his eyes. Well this was horrible, because it wasn't exactly how I imagined he'd say the words. He looked at me, wondering what I was thinking. I stood stock-still for several moments, perhaps minutes in stunned silence.
Damn him, I recognized the confusion on his face. He hadn't been aware what he said. Seriously, I'm going to have to buy the man a fucking voice recorder, and have him go over it and take notes every night before going to bed.
I laughed at my wayward thoughts. Apparently, it wasn't the right time to laugh, because it caused him to move closer to me. He put a hand on each side of my head again, his lips a breath away from my own. His eyebrows scrunched in anger, his eyes watching my every move, his jaw clenching in obvious restraint. He looked lethal. The way he looked at me was a bit frightening. He'd never hurt me, that much I believed in.
"Do you think you can fight me off?" he asked firmly, not giving me a chance to respond before he continued. "Daniel has about two inches and twenty pounds more on me. If you can fight me off, then you shouldn't have a problem with him. Do you think you can?"
I nodded. He laughed without any humor behind it. Shit, he was trying to prove his point. He pushed his whole body against me. I struggled to move my knees. His ragged breath was in my ear, but I knew deep down he would never hurt me physically. However, the mere thought that he challenged me like this was proof that he could do just about anything.
"Come on, prove to me that you will be fine," he breathed in my ear. He pressed his body even closer, and I felt all his weight against me. I slipped my hands up along his torso to his chest and pushed him. He didn't budge. Fuck.
I pushed harder this time going for a more sensitive area, his stomach. It worked; he took a step back to compose himself, before snapping his eyes to mine. I threw a punch toward his chest but he blocked it and caught my hand. He slammed it against the door and held it over my head.
"Come on." His lips were so close to my own, but there was no tenderness behind his eyes. There was just fierce determination to prove that he was right. "You can do better than that." I knew I could, too. I just didn't want to hurt him.
"Edward, please stop."
He shook his head. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said, a flash of regret softened his features. It was gone as quickly as it came. "Not until you prove you can protect yourself."
"I don't want to hurt you."
He laughed breathlessly. I had had enough. If it were what he needed to feel better about Daniel, then I'd do as he asked. It would give him some peace of mind, while possibly a black eye, too. I spread my legs shoulder length apart. I brought my knee up and hit the outside of his thigh. He went down on one knee from my unexpected move. I brought my leg up again and hit him in the gut. Then I punched his face. Damn him, I thought.
"That's for fucking trying to scare me."
Then I slapped him. "That's for trying to tell me what to do." For a moment, he moaned as he rose to his feet, clutching his stomach and looking at me with a bloody lip. I wanted to kiss it but I was livid. No one tells me what I can and cannot do. I slapped him again.
"That's for telling me you love me then fucking ruining it." With tears falling from my eyes, I stepped away from him and walked toward his fridge. My hand was fucking hurting.
Edward
My girl could fucking throw a punch and she was pissed. I watched as she walked toward the kitchen, wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I'd let myself get that fucking angry. I couldn't believe I said that I loved her and then "pretended" to be an attacker.
Fuck. Fuck up number – I had lost count. I sighed and followed her into the kitchen. She had a bag of frozen peas over her hand as she stood against the counter.
"Let me see it please," I whispered, closing the distance between us. She held out her hand with no hesitantly. I touched it gingerly. "I hurt you." She had no idea what the thought of her in pain did to me.
"You did."
"I scared you," I said.
"You did."
"I'm sorry." I kissed her the tips of her fingers, refusing to meet her gaze.
"I know."
I kissed in inside of her palm, and then finally looked into her eyes. They still held tears, and gently I wiped them away. Her other hand brushed my lip, catching the small spot of blood.
"I hurt you," she whispered with her fingertip still on my lip.
"That's my girl."
Bella giggled.
"I'm sorry." She had to believe that I truly was. I'd never left a hand to her. It would destroy me if I ever the inclination to do so.
"I know, Edward."
"No, you don't," I said, shaking my head. "I said some things–"
Bella gasped, dropping her hand from my face lighting fast. "You didn't mean it."
"No, shit, I meant it." I ran my hands through my hair at a loss for words. "I just didn't mean for it to come out like that or then. I suck at this. I keep fucking up. Bella, I can't help it. I'm new to this relationship thing."
"You love me?" she asked as if it was hard to believe.
"Yes." I nodded, just in case she needed further clarification. It never hurt to be thorough.
"Well I guess you know how I feel?" I cocked an eyebrow, needing the clarification. Bella smiled and rolled her eyes. "I don't know if you noticed, but I tend to punch the ones I love. My brother, Alice…" She touched my lip with her fingertip. "Now my boyfriend." She smiled before pressing her pretty lips on my bloody one.
"Ow," I whispered.
She laughed softly. "I love you." She whispered, touching her lips on my own again.
I smiled against her mouth. "I love you," I whispered back, deepening the tender kiss.
"I love you," she gasped as my arms wrapped around her waist. The undeniable pull between us intensified as I pressed her hard against me.
"I love you." I groaned as her fingers curled in my hair.
"So much." Her reply was a soft whimper as I pulled away to press my mouth along her slender neck.
"Too much," I murmured. It was too much, but sometimes not enough. It felt like I could barely breathe when I was away from her. I felt like no matter what I did, I was not enough for her. I loved her and somehow she loved me.
"Edward, please." She gasped as I nipped at her collarbone. I picked her up, placing her on the counter. Her hands left my hair to start on my shirt. I shrugged off my jacket within a few moments. Finished with her task, warm hands roamed over my chest.
Even after all the sex this weekend, I still haven't had enough of her, perhaps I never would. I loved and wanted her more than ever before. I hadn't that it was possible. Love was fucking complicated. Love could be blind. Love could be painful. Despite all that, I was in this all the way.
I kissed from her temple to her neck as she shrugged out of her top. My hands glided over her smooth stomach to cup her lace covered breasts. Through the fabric, I rolled her nipples between my fingers.
"Edward, we don't have a lot of time." Her fingers make quick work of my pants and boxers, pooling around my ankles. I followed suit by pulling off her panties from beneath her skirt. Fabric bunched around my wrist as I tossed them somewhere behind me. With a grasp of her hips and a thrust from me, I was inside her. My head fell on her shoulder; the feeling was so fucking intense.
"I love you," I whispered. Bella watched where our bodies came together and gave me a sexy as hell smile. Fuck, her doing that shit like that was too much. She gasped against my mouth as I thrust in harder and faster.
"I…love…you," she moaned, while biting my lip, sucking it lightly before letting go. She threw her head back and clutched the counter edge as she lifted her hips to meet mine harder.
We both started to pant and moan as we quickly started to reach the edge. Through clenched teeth, I whispered I loved her in her ear in the lowest, smoothest tone I could. The moment I had, she screamed out my name as she came. I followed with a few more thrusts afterward, twitching inside her and kissing her mouth to muffle my almost desperate need to cry out.
She gave me another sexy, half-lidded smile and then threatened to ban sex if I didn't get her to the office on time. As if she could resist me. Bella cleaned up in the bathroom since I couldn't keep my hands off her. She walked out, looking like she just stepped out of salon all beautiful and shit. Fuck. Office? What office?
"We have to control ourselves before I won't be able to walk," Bella jokingly complained as she wrapped her arms around me. I grinned quite proud. She slapped me, playfully.
I still had the shit-eating grin on my face when I entered my office twenty minutes later. The rest of the week went by fast. I met Big Bubba, who was sitting in on Daniel's appointment. I knew she was safe. There was no way Daniel would lay a hand on her with him around since he was bigger than Emmett.
Though Bella couldn't discuss what happened on Wednesday's appointment, Big Bubba assured me that nothing got out of hand. That same week, dinner with my parents was a success, as Bella blew Esme's socks off with her rack of lamb.
We slept over at Bella's place on most nights. She seemed more at home there. I watched her once when we slept at my apartment, she looked at every room and the bed with a questioning look. I realized then why. She wondered who else I'd brought home. Worse, wondered if I fucked someone on the same couch I had her. I know I'd fixate on shit like that if I were in her shoes. Thank God, she had recently moved to the area. It just seemed easier to be at her place.
I was brushing my teeth the following Monday morning as I told her I was going to get go over to my place to get ready for work while she was in the shower.
"Don't bother. In the top drawer are a few pairs of your socks and boxers. In the closet are a few suits you've left behind. I had them cleaned last week," she said from behind the fogged up glass. Holy shit. She had made room for me, after I happily joined her in the shower.
"I love you," I whispered wrapping my arms around her wet body.
"We're going to be late again, aren't we?" Bella sighed.
"Yes," I whispered in her ear before I pushed her against the tile wall. We were only an hour late. She was pissed, and she still wouldn't let me take her on my desk. She had will power, I didn't.
Thursday, Emmett and Rosalie had come over. It had been officially two weeks since Bella and Rosalie made that little 'No Sex for Two Weeks for New BMW' arrangement. I sat in the living room with Rosalie, watching something on Discovery Channel. Bella had taken Emmett in her bedroom to have a talk. I heard the door open and Emmett come out almost twenty minutes later. I looked up to see my brother in fucking tears. What the fuck?
Rosalie got up and ran up to Emmett, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I love you, babe," Emmett blubbered.
"What did you two learn?" Bella asked, watching Emmett and Rosalie closely.
"Sex isn't everything," Rosalie gasped, responding the fierce hold Emmett had her in.
"My wife loves action flicks."
"Emmett has a cute confused look."
"I like taking cooking lessons with my wife."
"I missed his laugh."
"I missed talking to her."
"I missed you," Rosalie said, taking Emmett's face in between her slim slender fingers and placing a small kiss on his lips.
"Okay, you two did it. Now go fuck like crazy and Ryan at the local BMW dealer will help you with picking out your car, Rose." Bella winked as she led them to the door. Emmett didn't take his eyes off Rosalie who only nodded minutely.
"Thanks," was her only verbal reply. She wrapped her arms around Bella. After a moment she pushed both of them out the door.
"What the hell was that?" I asked.
"That was me fixing something that was on the verge of breaking," Bella said softly. I had no idea that something was wrong with my brother's relationship with his wife. "What does that mean?" I took her hand in mind and led her back to the couch.
"When I first met Rosalie, she expressed how much she wanted a child. But she wasn't going to allow it to happen because she was afraid that Emmett wouldn't want to be with her if she gained weight and had big fat belly." She rolled her eyes. "It was already causing problems. When I saw a chance to help them, I took it. They both needed to see that there is more to a relationship than only great sex."
"Um, should we stop for a while too?"
Bella laughed. "Edward we're in the 'wooing stage' in our relationship or maybe the 'newlywed stage'. We're fine. And anyway I don't want to stop." She gave me that come hither look that I had come to love.
I pounced and hovered over her body. "God, I love you."
"I know." She giggled as I nipped her nose.
"Bella."
"No," she said in a teasing tone, tracing my bottom lip with her tongue. I loved when she did that.
"Why not?"
"I don't want to say it."
I pouted. She rolled her eyes, so I widened mine. She snorted, rolling her eyes. I stuck out my lip further. She giggled. "Okay! You win! I love you." There were several small kisses and nips along my jaw line as she chanted it.
"I'll never get tired of hearing it." I put a stop to her teasing and gave her a searing kiss. I wanted to let everyone know she was mine, and that I loved her. "Let's go dancing tomorrow night."
"Mr. Cullen, are you trying to get me drunk?" Bella asked cocking a perfect eyebrow.
"I still haven't had the pleasure of 'Drunk Bella,'" I teased.
"Tell you what," Bella pushed me away and stood up, "if we can successfully pull off an 'Advanced Kama Sutra' position, then you're on for dancing." She knew I loved a challenge.
"Okay, I'm willing to try. What did you have in mind?" she shrugged her shoulders and started unbuttoning her blouse. I watched as she flicked open the top button and the next.
"Take a look and meet me in our bed," she said, unbuttoning another three buttons. "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable." I gulped and watched as she walked slowly to her bedroom door. "Don't take too long."
I made my way through the apartment, locking up and turning out the lights. I made my way to Bella's bookshelf. I picked up the book she referred to, turning to the table of contents. There was an advanced section. I flipped through the book and found an interesting one that claimed that both the giver and receiver could achieve an explosive orgasm. That's the one.
I cocked my head looking at the cartoon like figures. Could we do it? Bella had good upper arm strength, and she was light enough for me to support most of her weight. Pair of Tongs- that's on the menu tonight.
With the instructions memorized, I put the book back on the shelf and made my way to the bedroom. It took a few moments for my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting in the room. On the middle of the bed, Bella's beautiful form contrasted against the white-on-white bedding. She laid there, barely covered in black silk and lace. I licked my lips in anticipation.
I shrugged out of my shirt and let it fall to the floor. Bella bit her lower lip as I walked closer to her. She parted her thighs so that I could fit in between them. With slow nips and kisses, I crawled over her body.
"Which once was it Edward?" she gasped as I toyed with the top edge of her garter belt.
"Tongs," I said in a husky voice, laving attention to her tiny navel.
Tongs was all we needed that night. We were exhausted afterward. I'd have to consider acquiring a copy of her book for myself. It was only fair that I be thoroughly educated in all advanced positions.
We were to meet everyone at the club later that night. Bella hopped on one foot, trying to get her heal on as we dressed for the evening out. She looked fantastic in wine-colored strapless top with a fitted black skirt. It had taken a great deal of power to keep my hands to myself, considering she probably was sore.
Jacob and Nessie were meeting us at the club, and I had to play the "good guy" so Bella can spend time with her cousin. We made it to the club; my little minx only had to fix her hair once…all right, twice. I am a man. There was only so much I can handle, strapless attire being once of those things.
At the club, the dance floor seemed to pulse, harmonious, like one cohesive unit. There was little room, yet it seemed to swell as more people made their way there. Hand in hand, Bella and I walked into our usual VIP room. Everyone had already arrived, and Bella made a beeline toward her cousin.
Once Emmett had me in his sight, he offered me a shot. I took it, letting the liquid run down my throat. Soon, Bella was in my lap, just where I liked her. She grinned at my obvious lack of control since my hands ran over her exposed skin.
"One shot Emmett, and then I'm sticking to something lighter," Bella told Emmett. He handed her a shot, along with a slice of lemon. She threw the liquid back; the movement causing her to rock her ass against me. I hissed, to which she laughed, winking at me. It only caused me to grope her more.
"Behave," she whispered in my ear. "If you do, then I'll let you take a body shot off of me." She had to be teasing me.
"Now you made me want one," I grumbled against the skin of her neck. She had the most fragrant skin there.
"All right," she replied. My eyes widened. I almost fell to my knees, thanking God for giving me such a woman.
Emmett heard the exchange and proceeded to clear the table in front of one of the couches. Bella clapped and hopped off my lap. As she got comfortable on the table, she moved her hands over her head, waiting for me. I looked her over, mesmerized by her. Then I pulled her skirt down. It wasn't a fucking peep show.
I took the shot glass from Emmett, grabbing the salt and lemon that lay near Bella's head. Temptation had me placing a chaste kiss on her lips, before placing the lemon slice between them. I licked a trail for the salt along the top hem of top.
"You like a lot of salt, don't you Edward?" Jasper asked, laughing from the chair across from me.
I looked up and grinned. "When I'm licking it off of Bella, yes, yes I do." Nessie giggled from the small crowd that surrounded the table. I had never done anything like this in front of my family. I had never really wanted to, until that moment. I carefully poured the shot into Bella's belly button. She gasped and giggled; her muscles quivering, her eyes on me.
"I've been wondering why Edward always has a fucking grin on his face nowadays," Jacob said, though it didn't sound forced. If I hadn't known any better, I'd say he was happy. But I did know Jacob, and he was an asshole. Which prompted me to reply to his spoken observation.
"Three reasons, Jacob," I said, without looking at him, "Bella, Tantra Chair and Tongs." I nipped on Bella's ear, causing her to laugh before she removed the lemon from her lips.
"Nessie, I do not what to ever see you do this," Bella said firmly before putting the lemon back.
Both Jacob and Nessie groaned. "That's not fair, Bella," they both said in unison.
"I don't care, she's my baby cousin and that's just wrong." Bella shivered. I laughed and looked in her eyes before I started my perusal of…salt and skin. First, I kissed along her jawline, down her slender neck, and returned to her ear. "I love you," I whispered.
Since I wasn't interested in giving my fucking family a peak of my love life, I didn't tease her for long. I slowly licked off a section before swirling my tongue. With the salt still on my tongue, I kissed her stomach before puckering my lips slightly as I sucked and slurped up the liquid from her sweet belly button. Unable to resist, I swirled my tongue over it before placing one more kiss on her stomach. I swallowed and quickly made my way to her mouth. I took the lemon between and spat it out. Not giving her a chance to react, I slipped my tongue to her unsuspecting mouth. She moaned as I kissed her slowly.
I pulled back as her eyes fluttered open. "I love you," I said, giving her a grin and a wink.
Bella smiled. "I love you." Then the whole room went quiet.
"I guess we haven't told our family that we love each other," I said, helping Bella up from the table. She shook her head and laughed. Alice and Nessie squealed and enveloped Bella in a hug that Rosalie quickly joined them. Emmett patted me on the back and gave me that "good job" look. Jasper mussed my hair. I fucking pushed him.
"Well since Bella and Edward decided to let us know that they 'love' each other," Emmett crooned, teasing me with a kissy face. I rolled my eyes. "Rosalie and I have some news too." He smiled to his wife, giving her the chance to say something.
"Emmett and I are going to try and have a baby." Rosalie said quietly.
Alice squealed again. She started jumping up and down. "So are we!" I looked at Jasper, who had a bemused look on his face as the girls are started to hug again.
"You know these things happen in threes, right?" Jacob said, earning him a slap across the back of his head from Bella.
She poked a finger in his chest. "If you get my cousin pregnant, I will make what the tree did to you look like cake compared to what I will do to you."
"Relax Bells," Jacob said, backing away. Nessie laughed at their banter, while I seethed in silence. I hated how comfortable Bella was with him.
"What does he mean in threes, Bella?" Rosalie asked.
Bella rolled her eyes. "It's just a theory. It's stupid though. It just seems that when someone we know gets married, another two couples step up to the altar. If one couple gets pregnant, another two couples are expecting. It's just weird that's all."
"It's a fact in our lives, Bella. Take Sam and Emily, pregnant, three months later Leah and Mitch find out their having a baby. Both of them pregnant just after Rachel gave birth. It's a fact. If Alice and Rosalie are going to be having a baby someone else in your life will, too."
Bella shook her head. "Well then Esme will be next." She took my hand. "Come on, let's dance."
Once on the dance floor, I could see that something wasn't right. "Bella, what's wrong?" I tried to understand the look of sadness in her eyes. She sighed, giving me a small smile as she shook head.
I wrapped my arms around her tightly and we danced in silence.
Bella
We couldn't get pregnant.
We couldn't get married.
We couldn't get engaged.
We couldn't move on until I told him everything.
I was going to have to tell him. It scared me because I loved him so much. It was going to hurt. But I had to tell him. Tonight.
Edward
Bella smiled up at me at the end of the third song and cocked her head toward our private room and led the way. When we arrived there, it seemed that everyone was on the dance floor since it was empty. With Bella's hand in mine, I led her to a small loveseat in the corner of the room. I sat down and pulled her onto my lap.
"Please tell me what's wrong, love?" I whispered, playing with a few strands of her silky hair.
"I promise to tell you, but let's enjoy the night first." She laid her head in the crook of my neck, sighing softly. I got that feeling again. The one that told me she was just a dream, like smoke that would just disappear. I grasped her tightly and silently prayed.
Please don't leave me. Please love me. Please don't leave me.
"I love you, Bella," I whispered, placing a kiss on her temple. "No matter what you have tell me, I'll still love you."
Bella nodded against my chest, clutching to me, sobbing softly. God, what does she possibly have to tell me? I kissed the top her head as our family entered the room again. Alice looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I shook my head, since I had no idea what was wrong. She responded by biting her lip and looking away immediately. She knows something.
She looked scared. I watched as Alice walked over to Rosalie to talk privately. Then she did something I hadn't expected. She took Jacob to the side and the three of them conversed in whispered voices.
What the fuck? What the hell does he have to do with what she has to tell me?
Determined for the night not to be a total wash, I rubbed Bella's shoulders and asked if she wanted a drink. She nodded and got off my lap to find a server, but when her eyes laid on Rosalie, Alice and Jacob, she looked livid. She stomped her way to them, and with her hand gestures told them to step out of the room. I wanted to follow so I could learn more, but this was Bella's show. She'd tell me when she's ready. Nessie left the room following the group and looking a little upset too.
All of that was going to eat away at my insanity. I watched from the room as Bella and the others argued. At one point, Bella slapped Jacob and stormed away from them. She made her way back to them and launched herself at me.
"Baby, what's wrong?" I cried out, really freaking out at this point. "Please just tell me."
"No. Not yet. Please, Edward," she gasped, and I could feel her tears against my shirt. Damn it. She was leaving me. I fought my own anguish at the thought and held her tightly. A waitress made her way to us with Bella's drink. She took it, drank it and asked for another. I groaned. It wasn't the time for her to get drunk, it would only serve to hurt her more. Shit.
~oOo~
An hour had past and Bella seemed to have forgotten about what was bothering her. I let it go at the time, but the night was far from over. We'd get a chance to talk later. Alice and Rosalie refused to tell me what was going on and Jacob wasn't telling me shit either.
"Damn it, Black," I hissed, at him, keeping a watchful eye on Bella. "She's with me and I don't know what the fuck is wrong. I want to know."
"She'll tell you Edward when she's ready but I'm warning you," Jacob stood up and closed the distance between us, "If you fucking hurt her, I'll hurt you." He glared at me then grabbed Nessie's hand and led her out of the room.
Thirty minutes later Julian, his wife, and David joined us. After introductions, Bella and Julian's wife Maria spoke quietly to themselves. I watched as Maria smiled, laughing before nodding in some sort of response.
"Oh, Julian," Bella purred in perfect Spanish. "I just got permission from your lovely wife to show my Edward," Bella winked in my direction, "how we dance. I want him to take dancing lessons with me."
"I happy to help you anyway I can, mi Bella," Julian replied.
I had a feeling I wasn't going to like it. The fact that Bella and Julian had been together before, hadn't made me feel better about them touching. But I went along with anyway. Bella smiled at me and tiptoed until she could reach my ear.
"Watch, and keep it together. It's just dancing," Bella whispered and kissed my cheek. She walked over to Julian, placing her small hand in his. He kissed it and bowed slightly as Maria stood beside me.
"They took lessons together before they started dating. She was terribly clumsy and thought it would help with her balance. She sprained her ankle a couple of times those few months, but she wouldn't quit."
I watched, entranced at their movements and easy flow. They were Salsa Dancing. The quick snaps of her head and sensual movements of her hips had me riveted. I watched as Bella wrapped one leg around Julian's hip, their eyes locked, one of his hands on the small of her back, and the other in her hand. She moved her entire upper body in a fluid movement, dipping downward and away from his body and quickly snapped back up.
I wanted my girlfriend back in my arms. Now. Bella must have read my mind because she pulled away from Julian. She walked toward me as our family clapped and cat called.
"So can we take dancing lessons together?" she asked, but I could only respond with a tiny nod of my head. She laughed, wrapping her arms around me again.
"Mmm, can we go now?" I whispered in her ear as I nipped at her neck.
"I think –"
"Ladies, it's that time of the night…All the single ladies on the floor please." The DJ blared throughout the club.
Alice and Nessie squealed. "After this song," she said, "I promise. I love you, Edward."
I sighed, smiling. "I love you, Bella."
"Come on, ladies it's time to shake it," Bella said, grabbing her cousin's hand. She took her drink from the waitress that had just walked in and took it with her.
"Where you going Alice, you're not single?" I asked, teasing a bit.
"I don't care," she huffed. "I want to dance to it." All the ladies, including Maria and Rosalie left. I looked over at the guys who all looked like they were bummed.
"Come on, let's go watch at least," I said. Everyone agreed and followed me to the bar. I watched as lines of women filled the dance floor. We weren't the only ones happily watching the beautiful display. Bella seemed to have a spotlight on her as the song stared, but then again maybe it was just the "love goggles" I seemed to wear whenever she was near me.
"All the single ladies, all single ladies." I fucking hated the song, but I watched the quick and fucking hot movements of my girl dancing. I loved the dance that much I'd be willing to admit. Bella's hips started to gyrate and my desperation to take her home was quickly overtaking my need to be a gentleman. Then she fucking dipped and extended one of her legs just like in the video.
Fuck. We need go home now.
Bella stood up suddenly, and I knew something was wrong. She placed one of her hands on her chest, the other on Nessie's arm. Her chest started heaving, pain etching her face. Nessie grabbed her as Bella started to grasp for breath.
You know how they say when you know when something bad is happening everything slows down. They fucking lied. I watched with crystal clarity as Bella reached for me as I stood from my seat. I watched as her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her body collapsed on the floor.
It all happened before I could get to her. "Bella!" I gasped as I tore my way through the crowds. The music had stopped and voices started to rise. I watched in horror as her body started convulsing. Oh god, no.
All the voices around sounded muffled, as if they were coming from the end of long dark tunnel. I was aware that Rosalie was on the phone calling for an ambulance, aware that Alice was holding Bella's head in her lap as Nessie looked Bella over.
"What's wrong?" I took Bella's body against my own, pushing Alice away. My love's eyes were scrunched shut, her body trembling in little aftershocks.
"It looks like she overdosed on something," she whispered, examining Bella's pupils.
"She doesn't fucking do drugs!" I hissed, angry that she would even fucking suggest shit like that.
David placed a hand on my shoulder. "Edward, the ambulance is on the way." I shrugged off his hand and glared at Nessie. "What the fuck is wrong with her?" I looked down at Bella's shaking form.
"I don't know!" she screamed as tears streamed down her face. "How many drinks did she have?"
"She had one shot and two drinks all night," I answered and Nessie motioned for me to turn Bella to her side just in case she vomited. "No wait, she had one more before you two left the dance floor."
A gasp was all I heard behind me, and David asked something, "Alicia, what do you know?"
"I don't know. Tanya gave me the drinks for their room." I turned to look at her. Tanya was standing by the bar looking at me innocently.
"I don't what she's talking about," she hissed. "I didn't touch her Sex on the Beach."
Rosalie was on her quickly and grabbed her by the hair. "Then tell me, how the fuck you know what drink she was ordering most of the night?" Tanya winced and shook her head.
Without giving Tanya a choice, she started to search Tanya's pockets. She pulled out a couple of pills. She dropped Tanya like she was on fire and made her way to Nessie, placing it in her hand.
"Shit. They're antidepressants." Nessie looked at Tanya. "How many did you put in her drink?"
The color in her face drained as she shook her head. Rosalie took a few steps toward her again, causing Tanya to step back. "Four or five," she whispered.
"Oh God!" Nessie placed her hands Bella's chest. She laid her head on her chest and closed her eyes.
"Nessie!" I growled, clutching Bella's body closer to my own.
"She's not going to make it if we wait any longer."
I pulled Bella up in my arms and ran toward the door, barking out instructions to my family. Moments later, the cold air hit me like a ton of bricks, and I recognized Jacob in a large SUV. Jasper opened a passenger door for me, while he was on the phone. Gently, I held Bella on my lap; her convulsing was minimal but her head lolled back.
"Jacob," I groaned. "Fucking drive, man, my life depends on it."
He nodded as he floored it, weaving into traffic. Nessie was in the front seat, talking on her cell phone to the hospital.
"Overdose with over two hundred milligrams of Amitriptyline and alcohol," Nessie said in the phone. "Be ready with AC, Sodium Bicarbonate, oxygen and the stomach pump. Mike, ETA is two minutes." She closed her phone, her eyes watching me from the rearview mirror. I turned away, unable to meet the similar eyes to my Bella. Then again, they weren't so similar, since Bella's held an emotion that called to me.
Her cousin's eyes were filled with sadness. I couldn't dwell on that. Tears betrayed me, falling on Bella's cheek as I clutched her closer. "Please baby … Don't leave me," I whispered in her ear. "Damn it, I love you, don't you fucking leave me."
My body lurched forward as we jumped a curb ER doors. There was a group of people waiting there with a gurney. As soon as the car stopped, the passenger door was opened, and Bella was pulled out of my arms by two men. I recognized one as the asshole who bragged to his friends in the men's room – Mike.
Nessie leapt out of the car, spewing big complicated words as we followed Bella toward the hospital. Two nurses started to strip Bella's body as the gurney moved toward the automatic doors. An oxygen mask was placed over her face as others started to attach things to her body. A nurse stopped me as the group entered another set of doors.
I tried to push her away but Jacob held me back. "There's nothing you can do in there but make things worse," he said gently. A strangled cry left me and I fell to my knees.
"I can't lose her," I gasped, running my hands through my hair. "I just found her." Moments later, I felt Alice's tiny body wrap around me. She was trying to coax me off the floor. But my body refused to comply. I was fucking numb.
Exhaustion and feel claimed me, and I finally gave into the darkness that pressed around me.
~oOo~
I awoke with a start, sitting in a bright white room. A small hand was on my shoulder within seconds, grounding me. Memories filled my mind as I tried to process where I was and why.
"Shh, calm down, Edward. She's fine," Alice's voice said in an attempt to soothe me. I jumped off the chair I was in, looking around the room. My eyes settled on the hospital bed with Bella's sleeping figure on it.
I let out a soft groan and almost hit the floor again. I took in every fucking detail, assessing, assuring myself she was still with me. Her chest barely moved, her hair tucked behind her ears, and a breathing tube was under her nose. A tentative finger stroked her cheek; her skin was so cold beneath mine.
"Tell me what happened," I whispered, keeping my eyes on Bella.
"Well you passed out in the waiting room. Jacob and Emmett helped you in here and you slept it off." I shook my head since it wasn't the information I needed. "She'll be fine Edward. Her cousin and her colleagues worked their magic."
"Tanya?"
"The police arrested her. She confessed, she didn't think that it could kill her," Alice whispered. I scoffed. "She didn't Edward. She was a mess when they took her in."
"She deserves whatever is coming to her."
"Maybe, but she was … Never mind." She remained silent for a few moments, only the beep of Bella's monitors the only acute sound in the room. "I need to go and call Esme and Carlisle. She should be awake soon."
"This is my fault isn't it?" I said, turning to look at her. She shook her head.
"No Edward. Don't do this to yourself. I know you." I looked away from her disapproving eyes as she walked out of the room.
I sat beside the bed taking deep breaths. There was a fucking hole opening up in my chest. I watched her eyes fluttered but remained closed. She was dreaming.
I was a monster. My past came back to haunt me. It came back and bit me in the one place I was vulnerable. Bella. She meant everything to me. However, she was in a bed because: I was a fucking asshole before her; I'm still a fucking asshole; and I loved her. My only redeeming quality was that loving her, and because of it, she could've died.
But I was selfish, I wanted more time. I would leave, because I had no choice. She was all that mattered. I could be strong and I could leave.
A soft moan startled me out of my thoughts. Bella's eyes were scrunched up. The bright overhead lights bothered her. I dimmed the lights on a panel on side of the bed.
"Bella," my voice was low and throaty, still hoarse from my anguished cries.
"Edward," her voice managed to croak out before her hand instinctively grasped her throat. The hand still had an IV attached to it, she hissed in pain.
"Easy there, my love," I said. I took her hand and brought it back down to her side. "Open your eyes, Bella."
She struggled for a few moments, but her eyes took time to adjust to the light. It took a few moments for her to process her surroundings. "Why am I in the fucking hospital?" she whispered in panic. She immediately moved each of her limbs, assuring herself she was in working order. I laughed silently inside, silly girl.
"Did I get piss ass drunk that I needed to have my stomach pumped?" Bella turned her head slowly to look at me.
"Not exactly," I whispered. I bit the inside of my cheek trying to quit being such a pussy and just tell her.
"Edward." Her hand touched my cheek and I leaned my face into her palm.
"Tanya," I murmured, closing my eyes letting her small hand run through my hair.
Bella snorted softly. "What did she do that landed me in a hospital?" I looked into her eyes and it was my undoing. I took her hand and kissed it and let the tears fall.
"She fucking poisoned your drink, baby. It's entirely my fault," I said in a garbled jumble of words. I closed my eyes not wanting to see the fear and sadness or any emotion behind her brown eyes. I wanted to remember her with happy, love filled eyes. I laid my head on her stomach and her fingertips ghosted over my facial features.
"Oh," she whispered.
I snap my head up and look at her. "That's all you have to say?" I snapped.
Bella shrugged her shoulders and tucked her bottom lip behind her teeth. "I figured she'd try something eventually. She's the only one that had to watch you leave the club constantly with different women."
"You knew something like this would happen?" I asked firmly, my voice picking up in volume.
"There's only so much a woman can take. When she saw that I seemed to be a more permanent fixture with you, I'm sure she wanted another chance with you, but I was in the way."
"Wait. Why would she want another chance with me now? She ignored me since that one night, not that it bothered me."
Bella gave me a small smile. "She saw that you were capable of commitment and wanted another chance."
"So this really is my fault?"
"No, it's just happens to be what happened. Eventually she may have tried hurting you. Don't worry about it. I'm fine." I rolled my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. I heard Bella exhale deeply. I looked up, my eyes pleading with hers.
"Damn it Edward. Don't dwell on this, it would do you no fucking good," she said, her tone implied that she spoke from experience. "If you put your fucking plan into action, I will leave town forever."
That was unacceptable. I wanted to be able to watch her from afar. I shook my head. She knew me too well. The only other choice I had was for me to find a way to get her to leave me.
"That one that just popped into your head needs to fucking vacate, too." She looked at me sternly, crossing her arms across her chest. "You'd be one sick fuck to leave me while lying in a hospital." Tears fell down her pale cheeks.
I put my hands on each side of her face and looked straight into her eyes. "I'm not going anywhere, Bella!" I lied.
Bella looked at me and let out a strangled cry, "Liar."
"I'm not."
She slapped me. "I'll make it easy for you. Get out." She feebly tried to push me, turning from me. It wasn't the way I wanted to end things. It was too soon. I wanted to be able to hold her one more time. I wanted to touch her one more time. I wanted to kiss on her one more time. .
"Damn it, Bella, I'm not going anywhere." I kissed her lips but her eyes remained closed. "I love you." I kissed her right eye. "I love you." My lips pressed over her left eye. "I love you." I touched my lips to hers, finally.
Her fist grabbed a handful of my shirt and pulled me closer. "Don't you fucking leave me," she whispered against me. She repeated the same words I said to her in the car.
"You heard?" She nodded, pulling me closer. I warned her. "I don't care. I need you closer." Carefully, I lay down beside her, but it was not close enough for her. She carefully positioned herself on my lap with her head in the crook of my neck. Minutes later, she was asleep as I took the time to savor what I could.
The smell of her hair. I'd miss it. A tear fell. She mumbled my name in her sleep. I would miss it. Then another fell. I ran my fingers through her silky hair. I would miss it. More tears.
I watched as one of my tears fell onto her cheek, mingling with one of her own. Even in her sleep she was upset. I stifled a groan and pulled her closer. My shirt was clutched in her hand, holding onto me as if my shirt was a life jacket. Her vulnerability, her fear was too much.
It fed my need to protect her. I couldn't let something like this happen to her again. I loved her too much. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to lie my way out of the relationship. She would see right through me.
I would have to resort to Fuckward. It was the only way.