Chapter 13

Tommy finally let himself fall asleep as the morning light started to filter through the windows. When he let his eyes fall closed Adam was still sleeping, a small wet spot appearing on the pillow next to his open mouth.

He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep, but he was suddenly woke by a large crashing noise. Tommy was instantly on his feet, moving out of the now empty bedroom towards the noise before his eyes had even fully cleared.

He stopped in the living room when he heard another crash. Quickly he moved towards the kitchen where he found Adam, still wearing just his sweats from the night before,clutching a heavy glass with pieces of broken flatware scattered across the floor.

Tommy knew the moment Adam noticed his presence because the heavy glass shattered against the wall to his left.

"Fuck!" Adam yelled at nothing in particular.

Tommy stood in shock for a moment, he'd seen Adam cry, seen him get pissed off at the automated self checkout machine, but he'd never seen him like this. Adam's eyes were wild, his face red, and his hands were shaking as he reached for another plate that soon found it's doom in the floor at Tommy's feet.

"Adam, I need you to calm down and tell me what's going on." Tommy kept his voice low as he stepped towards Adam, hands raised, and tried to avoid stepping on glass.

"Get away from me." Adam spat reaching for another glass. Tommy stopped in his tracks, his eyes traveling over the smaller man.

"Adam.."

"Don't just fucking.." Adam took a heaving breath and sat the glass down. "You know what? Fuck you. I'm not a fucking child. You come here and treat me like I'm .."

"Like what?" Tommy asked, still taken aback by Adam's seemingly random rage. When Adam didn't answer right away Tommy edged closer. He had a good idea what was going on and figured this was a extension on last nights panic attack but he didn't want Adam to hurt himself, so he continued to work his way across the glass scattered floor.

Adam stayed silent, Tommy knew that his anger wasn't at him but as soon as he came into the room he had become a convenient target. Adam was shaking when Tommy touched him gently on his shoulder.

Adam burst into motion, pushing Tommy away and storming out of the kitchen in a flurry of curses. Tommy barley stumbled before turning to tiptoe after Adam who, by the lack of blood on the floor, must have had house shoes on. It was something Tommy was thankful about but didn't give it much thought as he followed the barrage of angry words back to the bedroom.

He found Adam throwing on cloths muttering how he had to get out of there.

"Adam, where are you going?"

Adam glared at him as he pulled on his heavy coat. "Away from you." He spat before forcing his way past Tommy.

Tommy worried his bottom lip but let the other man go. After a moment he heard the front door slam and Tommy leaned against the door frame, cursing under his breath. He knew he shouldn't let Adam's words get to him but they still stung. Tommy knocked his head against the door frame and took a deep breath. He looked around the bedroom and found his phone hooked into the charger.

Thankfully Adam's charger was empty, apparently he had taken his phone with him. Tommy grabbed his phone and checked the time before stuffed it in his pocket. It was almost one in the afternoon. For a second he was surprised he was able to sleep as late as that. He rummaged around until he found his bag and dug deep into the side pockets until he found the pack of cigarettes he had stashed there. He hadn't smoked more than a few times in the last 6 months but the craving was sneaking up on him now. He checked that he still had a lighter in the pack and slipped his shoes on before heading through the wrecked kitchen to sit on the back steps.

With a heavy sigh Tommy lit up an took a deep drag, letting the nicotine work it's way into his blood stream. He knew Adam was OK and was most likely headed to his friend Kyle's house but he still worried. His nerves were ragged as well and he took a moment to close his eyes and take a few slow drags. Skeletor quietly ventured out from where ever he'd been hiding and begged a head rub from Tommy before exploring the backyard.

After a few minutes he crushed the butt and tossed it into the yard before turning back into the house. He pulled the trash can out and squat down slowly starting to toss the larger shards into the trash. Tommy paused for a moment and sighed wiping his face. After a moment he sniffed and set back to work. He'd be damned if Adam was going to come back to a wrecked house.

Adam wasn't sure where he was going but he had to get away. He had woke that morning just angry. He felt bad for taking it out on Tommy. He felt really bad.

Adam took a few deep breaths as he walked along the sidewalk. The cold air wrapped around him and he felt calmer. It wasn't long before he found himself at a bus stop. Adam pulled out his phone and sent a text to Kyle, telling him he was coming over.

When the bus rattled to a stop in front of him it took a few tries to get his foot up on the step. He settled into the seat closest to the door an stared out the window. Tomorrow was the big day. He already had his plans set.

Kyle was supposed to take him to meet his family at the hospital and Tommy was going to stay at the house and watch his dog. He promised he'd have someone text him once he was safely out of surgery. He knew Tommy wasn't happy about his plans but it was the best he could offer at the moment.

After what felt like a life time; he saw his stop and moved to stand as the bus crawled to a stop. He stepped out onto the sidewalk about two blocks from Kyle's apartment. Adam set off walking at a much slower pace as the adrenaline started to wear off and his pain started to seep back. He still hadn't figured out why he woke up angry but he was glad it was starting to fade.

He let Kyle tried to convince him to go to a bar. After several hours and a few hits from Kyle's bong, Adam compromised and rode with Kyle while he bought beer and they ended up sitting on a park bench down by the bay.

They talked about everything from what was going on at work to old girlfriends. What Kyle said about his past loves really struck a cord with him and for a moment he wondered what a relationship with someone like Tommy would be like. Would Kyle accept him dating a guy? Would his mom? How would he even explain how they met?

The thoughts scared him so he pushed them away. The tightness in his chest that he had felt the night before started to creep back up. He was shocked to find out it was midnight and tried to get Kyle to take him home.

Of course he wanted to go get laid. Adam took a deep breath feeling the spark of anger flairing deep in his belly. Kyle was drunk so Adam asked for the keys. He wanted to drive. He wanted to be in control for once. It felt like all these last few months his life had been completely out of his control.

Adam barley heard Kyle's muttering as he got in the drivers seat. He sat his jaw and put the keys in the ignition.

Now he was going to take back the fucking control of his life.

Adam shoved the car into reverse and slammed down the gas. He felt it when he hit the bike rack but he couldn't care less. Distantly he heard Kyle's fearful cursing but he ignored it; throwing the car into drive and squealing the tires and he drove out of the parking lot. He felt a strange sort of glee as he turned the wrong way on a one way street.

Maybe he'll get hit. At least if he died in a accident he-

Adam was shocked out of his thoughts when Kyle yanked the parking break causing the jeep to skid to a stop. Adam looked over at the other man and blanched, realizing that he could have not only killed himself, but also his best friend.

"Get out of the car." Adam demanded.

Kyle sputtered, his eyes wide before Adam yelled at him again to get out of the car. Finally Kyle slipped out the door looking frustrated and confused.

Adam felt like his skin was too tight. His chest was heaving but he wasn't getting enough breath. He slammed his hand against the steering wheel, the pain brought a sliver of clarity to his mind but it didn't last. So he did it again. And again. Finally Adam sucked in an deep breath and screamed. He felt the force of it ripping out of his body, all the anger, fear, uncertainty, all of it pouring out in one long wail.

He screamed until he felt light headed. He let his head drop bonelessly to the steering wheel, suddenly feeling drained. His throat hurt, but not as much as his heart. He suddenly had the overwhelming urge to hear Tommy's voice and before he could think he had his phone out.

Distantly he heard Kyle yelling something through the door and he spat a half ass insult at his as the phone started to ring.

"Adam, are you OK?" Tommy answered after the first right, he sounded worried.

"I think I'm having a nervous break down, and I might have just fractured my larynx." Adam cleared his throat trying to rid his voice of the gravely scratch but failed. "God I'm so sick of all this shit... I just want it to be over with."

"Adam,.. I can't tell you it's all over with. It might be. But it might not. Right now you need to pull yourself together and come home." Tommy sounded as tired as he felt. Adam suddenly felt bad thinking about how little sleep Tommy must be running on.

"If I make it through this I want you to go on a date with me." Adam whispered, even that scratching painfully at his throat.

Tommy chuckled on the other end of the line, a deep comforting sound. "First worry about getting back home, we'll talk about making it official when your in a better mental state."

Adam smiled and wiped away the tears that were sneaking up in the corner of his eyes. "Your right, as always, now really isn't a good time. But I really think we'd be good together."

"We already are. Now, I'm tired and I'm waiting. Come home." Tommy disconnected the line and Adam sighed. He looked over to see Kyle staring in the window with a completely perplexed expression on his face.

Adam leaned over and pushed the door open for his friend. He knew Kyle meant well, and that was confirmed after he dropped his intoxicated friend on his couch and found the book in his bathroom. Adam flipped through the pages and the book was all about how to help your friend with cancer.. Kyle had tried most everything in the book.

He left Kyle's car and jumped on the next bus heading his direction. He felt numb as he walked the few blocks to the front steps of his house. The lights were off everywhere but the living room and the light was spilling out onto the front steps where he saw Tommy's outline in the dark. There was a bright red ember burning and a tendril of smoke floating around him.

"I didn't know you smoked?" Adam asked coming to stand in front of the other man.

"I thought I had quit. But I guess you never really give it up." Tommy snubbed out the ember and stood, offering Adam his hand.

Tommy guided him inside and towards his bedroom where he had set out Adam's duffel bag. Adam smiled weakly and help Tommy pack him a few changes of cloths.

Adam set the bag on the floor near his bedroom door and slowly stripped out of his cloths. Tommy watched him as he removed everything but his boxer briefs and he quickly followed suit. Before Adam could crawl into bed; Tommy wrapped his arms around his waist and brushed his lips against Adam's.

Tommy silently guided him into bed where he spooned up behind him. If he was holding the man a bit tighter than normal Adam would never tell. Adam rested his head on Tommy's muscular shoulder and let himself drift off for a few hours of blissful rest.