My Own, Chapter 5:
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling hence do not own any of the characters, etc. etc.
3rd Person POV:
What is a man to do? He had always loved Lily; he gave her all he had. But, compared to Potter, he obviously wasn't worthy of loving Lily. Did Lily truly expect him to watch her, the love of his life, love his enemy? And furthermore, did she ever expect him to care and love her son? The son of the sole reason he lost her in the first place?
It was those questions which Severus answered by joining the ranks of Voldemort. He wasn't sure he could ever have his questions answered, and wondered whether he could of handled the answers anyway. It was among the ranks of Voldemort that he was admired, worshipped, even perhaps desired. He let his hate, anger and greed for love blind him to the cruel realities of Voldemort's workings. And as time went on, his naïve beliefs that his workings as a Death Eater could cure him of his love for Lily proved wrong, for the hole in his heart grew bigger, manifesting itself until he could no longer bare it.
"I want a 2 foot long essay due on Friday." Severus announced to his potion class, and with satisfaction he listened to their groans. "It is more of a punishment for me then you, considering I have to read your work." He said, as if it was somehow meant to comfort them. He watched the little third years sulk as they left. Somewhat satisfied, Severs sunk down into his desk chair and took up marking his fifth years' work.
"Gryffindor: Troll. Slytherin: Excellent. Ravenclaw…." Snape muttered as he neatly marked either a big cross, or a big tick. It was his own little chant – rarely did any Gryffindor show any exceptional skill, besides Hermione. Just as he was getting into the rhythm of marking, a house elf suddenly appeared, and before a word could pass Severus' lips, he and the elf had apparated to an unused classroom. Slightly disorientated by the sudden movement, in the few seconds it took for Snape to realize what had happened, the elf disappeared. Grumbling, Severus turned around to investigate the room, wand in hand. The room was strangely familiar. It had a thick blanket of dust that covered every surface in the room, making it unrecognizable. Severus was moving towards a particular part of the room when an unwanted voice asked: "Professor Snape, what are you doing here?"
Snape twirled around to see Harry standing by a long table, a few phials and other materials scattered everywhere, with his wand in hand.
"You – er –Don't ask me questions! Now tell me Mr. Potter, why do you have your wand drawn?" He sneered at the teenager. Harry looked straight into Severus' eyes in irritation.
"I was preparing to defend myself if need be." He replied, using Severus' formal wording mockingly. Severus knew he would have praised a Slytherin for such an excuse, and he unconsciously decided that it was a characteristic which he himself had: Always have wand at the ready; always be prepared for a fight. Severus just 'humphd' as he walked a few metres in the opposite direction of Harry. Silence drew upon them, as neither one wanted to talk to the other. Eventually, the situation became awkward. Severus stood and watched Harry produce a range of things from his bag, and it was only when he brought a cauldron to the table and began to pour ingredients that Snape realized what was happening.
"What are you doing?" He questioned skeptically.
"Creating potions." Harry retorted, embarrassed and nervous to have Snape watching. As Harry began to study his Potions' book, Snape moved further away and leaned against the wall, not saying anything else, warily watching Harry as he created whatever potion he was attempting. He kept a noticeable distance from Harry, and Harry began to get sick of the tension that the silence emphasized.
"Professor, why are you here?" Harry repeated, refusing to show any sign of resilience. He felt as though he was cheated the privilege of being able to work alone because Snape was there. He worked better without the forever-dark presence of Professor Severus Snape. Severus struggled for an answer, eventually settling for the truth.
"I have unfortunately been ordered to supervise you as you create all your extra potions, which considering your current pace, will take the next millennium." Severus replied, feeling the need to add an insult.
"I don't need a baby-sitter." Harry remarked as he tried to collect more ingredients out of his bag. Snape merely shrugged, watching has Harry bent down to pick up his bag. Despite being conscious of Snape's glare, and trying not to show any sign of pain, Harry couldn't help but wince as his muscles contracted. Severus tried to ignore Harry as much as possible by scrutinizing the room, which he couldn't exactly remember, much to his utter frustration. With Snape distracted, Harry could concentrate better. He had barely enough time to interpret the instructions after adding an eye of a goose and stirring twice in an anti-clockwise motion, when the bell signaled the end of lunch. As if released from a jail cell, Severus strode quickly out of the room. "Finally." He muttered as he exited the room.
"It's not like you have anything better to be doing, you greasy git." Harry spat at him, clearing up the mess he had created. Harry was greatly frustrated that he had managed to make more of a mess, rather then more progress with the potion. He practically achieved nothing, and so with the glooming prospect of spending the potion-making time with none other then Snape, with homework deadlines in three weeks, the loss of potentially winning the quidditch cup and his body being in pain from the injuries, when Ron and Hermione started bickering, Harry lost his temper.
It was just after supper, and majority of the Gryffindors had gone to their dorms. They were all sitting around the fire, Neville, Ginny and Hermione on the lounge and Harry and Ron sat on separate seats.
"So how is everything going with you and Dean, Ginny?" Hermione asked Ginny conversationally.
"Oh they're just brilliant – I seem them in every corner snogging each other's faces off!" Ron answered. Ginny's face flushed in both anger and embarrassment.
"Well, at least somebody here is getting some affection!" She retorted, standing up before exiting the room to her dorm.
"Yeah well maybe I have! Maybe I've snogged hundreds of girls!" Ron yelled out after her, his eyes briefly flickering to Hermione's face.
"Ron, you are the only one who hasn't been snogged! Harry snogged Cho, Viktor snogged Hermione and I snogged Dean – you are the only one left out!" Ginny yelled, suddenly appearing atop the dorm staircase. Ron's anger swiftly focuses on Hermione, and he stands up.
"So she knew that you kissed Viktor before me?" He questioned Hermione, sounding hurt. He took a few steps towards her. Hermione blushed furiously.
"It's more complicated then that, Ronald." Hermione reasoned.
"Complicated? What's bloody complicated about telling your best friend?" He asked, slightly hysterical.
"Ron, you are blowing this out of proportion-"
"Am I? Am I really? Or do you just prefer to talk to your books and my little sis –"
"Oh for goodness sake you two –SHUT UP!" Harry yelled, getting up from his chair and leaving the common room.
Resentful, he began walking around the castle. Harry felt confused and angry that no body could understand. As if he didn't have enough issues with trying to get through school in one piece, but the only two people who he feels comfortable with talking to are too busy concentrating on their feuds with each other, which leaves Harry without somebody to talk to. And it is during these periods of time that Harry feels alone, as if he is left with the burden of saving the world from a powerful enemy while other teenagers his age worry about their love interests and exams! Why is it that the Chosen One has no body to talk to? No mother to hold him against to and comfort, no father to talk to and give advice? Must he really face the world alone? Why him?
Harry continues to walk about the castle with these thoughts in his head and he feels his anger mount and mount. All it would take is one squeak from a mouse to make Harry explode, but as he walks down the mysterious hallways, not a sound or soul is to be found. When Harry reaches the transfiguration quad, he realized that it was late night if not early morning, and that the castle would be asleep. Feeling tired, Harry sat down in the middle of the quad, basking in the moonlight, thinking. He has officially failed a game of quidditch, he has extra potions' homework, he has stitches in his side, and Snape is constantly watching him. It took but a few seconds for Harry's anger to focus on the latter, and in that second, Harry was reminded of the fact that Snape had been ordered to supervise him whenever he makes potions. With that knowledge, Harry planned how he was going to give Snape hell, as payback for all he ever did to him and his father.
With the thought of finally getting revenge on Snape for all of those years of pain he had been through, Harry got up from his little spot on the grass. The clock chimed thrice as Harry walked himself to his dormitory to retrieve his potions gear, and begin his homework.
Severus had barely recognized that he had been apparated through his sleep, the only evidence that he in fact was not in his apartments was the hard surface he was lying on, and the smell of crushed lacewing flies and maggot's heads, stewed in a cauldron at 62 degrees (all of which was immediately identified by Severus). Alarmed, he awoke from his sleep, registering the cold stone beneath his fingertips, and a beam of moonlight from outside shining on a student with very messy hair. As he righted his robes, it took no time to recognize the student, and even less time to realize why he was there.
"Mr. Potter are you aware that it is early morning?" Snape asked, obviously irritated, rubbing his face. Harry stirred four times in one direction, two times in the opposite direction, then crushed a suspicious substance before entering it into the cauldron.
"Yes, sir. Specifically 3.30 am." Harry answered shortly.
"It is forbidden for a student to be out of bed – " Snape began, but was cut off by Harry.
"Not without a teacher. I believe that you are a teacher and are present, or else I am Lord Voldemort himself!"
"Don't you dare say that name." Snape hissed. He was never a morning person.
"Considering I am the one who has to kill him and all, I think I have the bloody right out of everybody to call him what I like." Harry replied, keeping his gaze steadily on the cauldron, his rage nicely controlled. Once again, Severus was lost for words, and he angrily paced about the room, determined not to let Potter get the better of him.
The next school day, Severus was exhausted and getting angrier by the second. He always hated being put into awkward situations – and watching your least favourite student – and newly found son- attempt to brew potions (sometimes at 3.30 in the morning) certainly fit Severus' idea of awkward. And he certainly didn't like it. Not. One. Bit.
Hi Everyone!
Again, I am sorry it's taken so long to update this story. I hope that you guys have enjoyed it, and if you have any questions or comments, please feel free to message me and I shall promptly reply.
I haven't edited this chapter very well, mainly because I am a bit over editing at the moment, for I have been constantly editing my BitterSweet story, (and am only half way through that), and have completed editing the few chapters of My Own. I will update the edited versions later on, with an authors note to let you know that it's changed slightly.
I hope you are all having a wonderful week,
Please read and review - your reviews show encouragement and love to the writer!
Love Missteque.
PS: What did you guys think of the Harry Potter: Half Blood Prince movie?