Chapter 31: Because I Knew You
A/N: I actually really enjoyed writing this chapter, so I hope that shows! I hope you all like it :) Reviews are more than welcomed!
"Blaine, we're home." My mother opened the door to find me sleeping on Sebastian's chest, completely shirtless. The second we heard her come in we shot up to sit down and scooted away from each other. "Oh. I'm so sorry, I'll leave you two alone." My mom said turning slightly red and turning away. Sebastian's eyes were wide and he looked as if he was about to pass out; was this his first time getting caught in bed with someone? Probably.
"No! Mom, it's not like that! We didn't…" I could only imagine what was going through my mom's head, and chances were I was right judging by the bright shade of red she was turning.
"Mrs. Anderson, I promise nothing happened." He said getting up and putting on his shirt on before walking over to hug her. "It's good to see you again. I should probably get going now." He said grabbing his wallet and keys.
"No, no. Sweetie, don't leave because of me. I just thought you guys would be awake by now, it's already 11." Sebastian and I looked at each other. We never slept in this late. "Blaine, there's someone here who would like to meet you, so get ready quickly." She said before smiling at us and walking downstairs.
"I think she's talking about Julie." I said standing up and grabbing a towel. "Want to shower together?"
"Friends don't do that." Sebastian said laughing.
"Friends also don't cuddle all night." I said grabbing his hand and dragging him into the bathroom. Thank God for my own bathroom.
When we were finished, we headed downstairs. The noise was coming from the kitchen, and when we walked in it looked as if mom was preparing lunch. Standing next to her was a girl with long brown hair. Cooper came running up to us with a big smile on his face and placed one arm around my shoulder and the other around Sebastian.
"Julie!" He said, clearly very excited to introduce us. "This is squirt." Julie turned around, a kind, gentle smile on her face. She had beautiful features and was absolutely stunning. I couldn't help but admire her beautiful green eyes. Just like Sebastian.
"Cooper! Shut up! Hi Julie, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Blaine." I said extending my hand. "Coop here didn't do you justice, you're absolutely stunning." I said smiling at her. She really was beautiful, and she seemed kind.
She blushed before laughing. "Thank you Blaine. I've heard so much about you I feel like this isn't actually my first time meeting you." How much did she actually know about me?
"And this is his boyfriend Sebastian." He said patting Sebastian on the shoulder.
"He's not my boyfriend." We said in unison, both turning slightly red and irritated. Julie laughed when we both glared at Cooper.
"Whatever you say." Cooper said smiling and wrapping his arm around Julie's waist.
"Sebastian, it's nice to meet you. I've also heard quite a lot about you." She said extending her hand towards him. Something about Julie reminded me of Sebastian.
"It's nice to meet you as well. It looks like the Anderson's have a thing for brunettes with green eyes." Sebastian took her hand and had a smile on his face. He already seemed to be warming up to her. Something about them told me they would hit it off.
"Sit down everyone, lunch is ready." My mom said, reaching inside of the fridge for some drinks.
"Here let me help you." Sebastian and Julie said at the same time as they walked over to her. Cooper and I stood next to each other, taking in this moment.
"You two are too kind. Here Sebastian, will you place this on the table?" She said handing him a bowl with salad. Our own mother seemed to smile brighter with them than she did with us. Cooper and I crossed our arms, as if we were thinking the same thing. She handed Julie some glasses before looking at us and rolling her eyes. She kissed us both before rubbing our cheeks with her hands. She had a smile on her face; a sweet smile that seemed as if she was happier now than she had ever been. Was this because Cooper and I were actually happy and had someone we loved in our lives? Not that I had a boyfriend or anything.
"Hello boys." My father said walking in from outside with a grocery bag in his hand.
"Hey dad!" I said running up to hug him and help him put some stuff away. Sebastian came walking behind me and shook my father's hand. "How have you been Sebastian?"
"I've been good Mr. Anderson. I uh-"
"Are we back to the Mr. and Mrs. Anderson thing? What happened to mom and dad?" He said pulling out the chair so that Sebastian could sit with Cooper and Julie.
"S-sorry, I wasn't sure if I was still-" Sebastian seemed slightly uncomfortable, but had a smile on his face.
"Of course you are. You two are still friends aren't you? Then you're still a son to us." My dad messed with my hair before I sat down. Why did I feel like everyone here thought I was a child?
"Alright everyone." My mom brought the food to the table. "Dig in." She said placing it down. The meal went by relatively well. Most of the conversation was dedicated to getting to know Julie and ridiculing me. At least Sebastian was getting a kick from it.
"Wait a minute, shouldn't you two be in school?" Cooper asked. I looked over at Sebastian before looking at my mom and dad.
"We'll let this one slide." My mom said grabbing my hand. When we finished the meal, we all helped clean up so that mom and dad could go to the living room. When we had finished, we went to sit with them. I knew what was coming next, but I wasn't sure how this would start.
"So, is this the part where we talk about the giant elephant in the room?" Cooper said out of nowhere. If that's how Cooper wanted to start talking about his sickness, then might as well let him. "Why don't you two just make it official again? You're driving us all insane with your cat-and-mouse love game." He said rolling his eyes and grabbing Julie's hand. Julie punched him, shaking his head at him. Really? Of all the things that's what he wants to talk about?
"I love her already." I said laughing. The room went silent again; how do you talk about being sick?
Sebastian stood up. "It's been nice seeing you all again, and Julie, it was nice to meet you." He said before smiling at her. "I don't want to intrude in anything, so I'll be heading home."
"Sebastian." My father started. "Feel free to leave if being here makes you uncomfortable, but if you think you should leave because you're afraid of intruding on family matters, then please sit down."
"I'm not uncomfortable. I just didn't know if you wanted me here when this really only pertains to your family. And of course Julie, a future Anderson."
"Well, then I don't see why you can't stay. You're part of this family already." I don't think I've ever loved my parents more than I did then. I wasn't sure why they were being nice; maybe because they knew how much we loved each other, or maybe because they wanted to take on the role of a loving parent that Sebastian has never had. Sebastian smiled before sitting back down.
"Mr. and Mrs. Anderson, and Blaine and Sebastian as well. I wanted to thank you all for being so accepting of me. I want to apologize for getting engaged behind your back without asking your permission, but you guys know Cooper better than I do." She said laughing and looking at him. "When he get's an idea, nothing stops him. But more importantly, I want to tell you that no matter what happens, no matter how long the recovery is, and no matter what challenges may come our way, I will never leave your sons side." Sebastian grabbed my hand. Something about the way he was acting made me think that he was saying the same thing in his head to me. Mom and dad looked pleased; happy that Cooper had found such an amazing girl.
"You already know we love you Julie. From the moment we laid eyes on you, we knew you were right for our boy." My mom said.
"All I can say is good luck to you." My dad said laughing. "Cooper's a handful." Everyone laughed except Cooper who had a sarcastic expression.
"Thanks dad. That's totally cool to throw me under a bus." He said kissing Julie on her cheek. Cooper's eyes met mine. "What's wrong little brother?"
"You're just…surprising." I said letting out a sigh. "I still don't understand why everyone seems okay with this. My brother is sick, and we're here making jokes and pretending it doesn't matter? This isn't right."
Cooper walked over to sit next to me. "It's a process Blaine. I know it won't be easy, but there's nothing we can do except to deal with it. I'm happy squirt, I really am. I have a great family and I'm in love with the second most beautiful girl in the world." Cooper turned his head to look at Julie. "Sorry hun, my mom's already claimed the number one spot." Julie smiled and grabbed my mom's hand. Cooper turned to look at me."But do you want to know what makes me happier than anything?" He said placing his hand on my neck. "That you found someone who makes you feel the way that Julie makes me feel. You have at 18 what I found at 27. As much as you two say it's best to just be friends, you guys found love. Don't lose that." He said before bringing me in for a hug.
I never really appreciated my brother like I did right then and there. He really was an amazing person. I looked over at Sebastian who had been smiling but looking at the floor. No one knew that Sebastian would leave at the end of this year. No one knew that the time I had to share my love with the person I loved the most had an expiration date. But still, even if I could only be with him for a few more months, I knew that the memories would be with me forever.
"Okay! No more tears." He said looking at my mom and kissing her forehead before sitting down with Julie. "We have the rest of our lives together. And I look forward to spending as much time as I can with each and every one of you." Cooper winked at me. I loved my brother. I only regret spending so much time fighting with him. We could have been like this much sooner. Somehow, from something so tragic, there was a newfound happiness.
If Sebastian thought I was bad at not being emotional, he had no idea how much worse my mom was. She looked at all of us before calming down enough that she could talk. "There is nothing a parent wants more for their children than for them to find love." She said smiling at Cooper and I. This was slightly awkward seeing as Sebastian and I weren't actually together, but at least the sentiment was there. It's not like anyone really seemed to care what we said about our relationship anyways. "It makes me the happiest mother in the world to know that you two have found it. One day, when we're not here," she said grabbing my father's hand. "I'll be happy knowing that someone in this world cares for my boys just as much as we did." We both hugged my parents, tighter than I have ever hugged them. I never felt so close to my family than I did at that moment.
I turned around to see a single tear fall from Sebastian's eyes. I couldn't tell whether or not the tear was one of happiness, or one of sorrow. I sat down next to him and all he did was look up and smile.
"Excuse me." Sebastian said standing up and walking outside. Everyone turned to look at me before I got up to follow him.
Sebastian was sitting on a small bench we had by my mother's garden. "Sebastian, what's wrong?" I said sitting down next to him.
"If I've ever had any doubts about us…about our love, then they're all out the window now. I know what true love is Blaine," Sebastian said holding my hand and turning to face me. "And now thanks to your family I know what it means to even have a mom and dad. Yet, the only thing that comes to mind is how our days together are numbered. Our time together will come to an end. What kills me isn't just that we wont be together, it's the fact that I'll still be alive without you there with me." Sebastian said, another tear falling from his red eyes.
"What do you mean?"
Sebastian sarcastically let out a small laugh. "I'd rather be dead than be alive and not with you. It'd be a lot easier." Sebastian let go of my hand and rubbed his eyes, a groan escaping his mouth. "I'm sorry, let's get back inside. I'm being selfish by taking your attention away from your family, especially when Cooper needs it now more than ever." He said standing up and extending his hand to take mine.
I stood up and brought him in for a hug. "I'll never say good bye to you." I said burying my face into his neck. "I won't let you go." Sebastian let go of me before kissing my forehead and walking back inside.
Mrs. Anderson was talking to Cooper about an appointment he had tomorrow and getting a bigger bed so that Julie could sleep with Cooper. When Mr. Anderson saw us, he stood up and walked over to where we were. "Sebastian, will you follow me?" He said with a smile on his face. Blaine looked up at me with somewhat worried eyes, but let go of my hand to talk with them.
Mr. Anderson brought me to his office. I couldn't help but flinch when he told me to sit down. The only time I'd ever been into a father's office was when my father wanted to scold me or beat the crap out of me. I could tell that my flinch didn't go unnoticed by Mr. Anderson. "Let me ask you something. Do you love Blaine?" He said with a kind, soothing tone. Normally, this tone was used by my father to get make me feel at ease before he started hitting me, but Mr. Anderson seemed sincere enough.
"I do. I love him Mr. Anderson." I said with no doubt or hesitation in my voice.
"I know that Blaine isn't the one who is sick, but Blaine will also suffer seeing his brother go through the cancer treatment. Cooper has Julie who loves him and will provide comfort and care, but I know that Blaine needs someone here for him to help him cope as well. I've always assumed that my wife and I would be enough for them, but it's clear that our boys are too grown up now. I've never asked anyone to take care of my son before, so bear with me because this is kind of strange." He said sighing. "I know that if there's someone who will help Blaine stay strong for Cooper, it's you. I know that this is a lot to ask, especially since you two aren't in a relationship anymore, but Sebastian, I ask you for one thing, and one thing only. Will you please take care of my son when our attention is focused on Cooper and his treatment?" He said, his eyes slightly red. If I wasn't mistaken, this was the only time I've seen Mr. Anderson so upset that he was at the point of tears. Mr. Anderson had to be the strong one in the family. They all needed him, and if he broke down in front of them, it would be like the root of the family was breaking. It was strange seeing him so upset; he probably pretends to be strong so that he doesn't let his family down.
"As long as I can, and as long as Blaine will have me, I promise you that I will do my best to keep him safe and happy." I said extending my hand to shake his. Mr. Anderson stood up and came over to pull me into a tight hug. I flinched again, but relaxed realizing that Blaine's dad wasn't actually trying to hurt me. So this is what it felt like to receive an actual loving hug from a father? I can't believe that in 18 years, I've never known what it means to be loved by a parent.
"I knew I could count on you." He said wiping his eye and grabbing my shoulder. "If you don't mind me asking, why exactly did you and Blaine break up?" Here we go. The question I didn't want to hear.
"Mr. Anderson," I started before he interrupted me and told me to call him dad. "Sorry. The thing is, my father is…strict. He's sending me to London at the end of the year to study abroad for the next 4 years. I don't know if this makes sense, but I love Blaine so much that it literally hurts me. Thinking about not being with him tears me apart, which is why the original plan was to break up with him and make him hate me so that he would forget about me. But, as it turns out, by some miracle Blaine loves me enough to want to deal with me, even after I broke up with him. Which is why we're friends. Even now I know that it'll just end badly." Mr. Anderson brought me to sit down on a couch that he had in the office. "I should apologize, I knew I was being immature by thinking that making Blaine hate me was the only way to move on. I didn't mean to hurt him again."
Mr. Anderson laughed. "You have the right reasons, but you were slightly misguided. Is there any way to that you stay somewhere closer to Blaine? Maybe you can talk to your dad and see if he'll let you go to college in the states?" I looked at the floor and sat there in silence with him. How was I supposed to tell him that I couldn't because my father dictated my life and would kill me if I went against his word?
"I…uh." I didn't know what to say.
"Sebastian. I don't want to cross a line with you, because I'm technically only your friend's father, but I want you to confide in me. Whatever you tell me stays with me. My wife, Cooper, nor Blaine will ever hear what you tell me." Mr. Anderson stood up to grab a cup of water for me.
"I'm okay, I promise. I'm sorry, I'm being selfish again. I took Blaine's attention away from Cooper and now I'm taking your attention away from your family."
"I've told you already. You're my son as well, and if you need some time with me, then you'll get that time." He said placing his hand on my shoulder. "If you don't want to talk about it, it's okay. Just know I'm here for you." Mr. Anderson was about to get up but I stopped him.
"Wait." I said. Mr. Anderson settled back down in the couch and waited for me to continue speaking.
I didn't know what got into me; it felt like word vomit to be honest. There I was, spilling my heart out to Blaine's father, telling him everything I kept locked inside. Only Blaine knew everything about me, yet I told Mr. Anderson almost everything; my mother and how she didn't want me, the visit we paid her when we went to Paris, my father's alcoholism and his abuse, his hatred towards my very existence and his quest to destroy everything that made me smile, my actions that caused so many people pain, the fact that I had no idea what it meant to be loved until I met the Anderson's. Everything. I'm not sure why it felt good to talk to him. Maybe because he was the only fatherly figure I've ever met.
When I had finished, I felt as if I would be sick. I looked at Mr. Anderson to find that a few tears were escaping his eyes and that he had a look that was a mix of pity and sadness. "I'm so sorry. I have no idea what came over me." I said looking away.
"Why are you apologizing? You have no reason to be sorry. Sebastian, how long has this been going on? Is this why you flinched when I told you to sit down? And when I hugged you?" Mr. Anderson looked incredulous. I didn't blame him; I guess my past was pretty hard to believe. I nodded, answering his last question but not wanting to tell him how long this had been going on.
Mr. Anderson rubbed his temples before speaking again. "Sebastian, you're moving here with us."
"No, I can't sir. My father won't let me." Mr. Anderson suddenly looked furious.
"This is abuse. He's cruel Sebastian, he should be in prison for all that he's done to you." He said standing up and going to his desk.
"No! Please dad." Well, that slipped out. "Don't call the police. You can't tell anyone Mr. Anderson. You promised me." I said standing up. I knew I had no right to speak to him as an equal, but I was worrying. Stopping him from telling the police would be harder than stopping Blaine.
Mr. Anderson composed himself before walking over to me. "I can't do anything you don't want me to, but you need to promise me that you will come to me if you need any kind of help. Anything at all, you call me." He said handing me his number on a piece of paper. "Promise me that Sebastian? If you need a place to stay, a ride somewhere, anything."
I nodded before taking the piece of paper and putting it in my pocket. "Thank you Mr. Anderson." I said trying my best to stay calm.
"I may not be your biological father," he said pulling me into another hug (which was weird because as far as I knew he wasn't known as a hugger). "But I want you to consider me your substitute dad. Like I said, you're already considered my son. So you might as well consider me your dad." He said pulling away and messing with my hair. I didn't really know what to say or do; I had never experienced this kind of love before…this kind of fatherly playfulness.
"I don't know what to say." I said looking down again. Mr. Anderson smiled before opening the door.
"It's okay. We'll take this one step at a time. But we should get back downstairs, we've been here for over an hour." He said with a fake-scared look. "Mrs. Anderson is going to kill us both." He said laughing.
When we walked downstairs, everyone was together talking about stories and sharing pictures of Cooper most likely, judging from how embarrassed he looked. Julie was laughing, pointing at all the pictures of Cooper and saying how cute he was. Julie was actually really beautiful. Gorgeous really. Above all, she was kind. That was probably her best attribute.
"Jesus, dad. I thought you left Blaine here a widow." He said, earning him a punch from Blaine. Ha.
"Cooper!" He yelled, groaning and throwing a pillow at him. Cooper wrapped his arm around Blaine's head and wrestled with him, somehow ending on the floor. Mrs. Anderson shook her head as Julie sat there laughing. Mrs. Anderson looked up at Mr. Anderson and I but simply smiled, not questioning why we were gone so long.
"Cooper! I'm so sorry!" Blaine said standing up from the floor when Cooper groaned. "I'm so sorry, I forgot we couldn't rough house anymore." He said, worry all over his face.
Cooper busted out laughing before standing up. "Seriously Blaine? I'm not fragile, I can still play fight with my brother all I want." He said placing his arm around Blaine. "I have an idea!" He said walking over to the piano. "Sebastian and Blaine, sing for Julie!" He said, the excitement clear in his eyes.
"I think Blaine should do it. I'm not as talented as him." I said walking over to hold Blaine's hand.
"That's a lie. If that were true, then we both wouldn't be going to Nationals. Besides Coop, we have nothing prepared."
"Please boys? I would love to hear the voices that Cooper brags about all the time. He brags about your talent as if it was his own." She said smiling at us.
"Yeah guys, besides, mom and dad haven't heard you sing either. Well, they haven't heard you sing Sebastian." After being insisted, we reluctantly agreed to perform for them.
"What do you want to sing?" Blaine asked as we sat down at the piano.
"I have the perfect song." I said kissing him on the cheek, not really caring that everyone's eyes were on us. "I'm sure you guys have probably heard this song. It'll just have a little twist to make it more our own." I said looking at them before turning around and starting to play the keys. Blaine smiled knowing what I was going to play.
(Blaine)
I'm limited (just look at me)
I'm limited and just look at you
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you (for both of us)
Now it's up to you...
(Sebastian)
I've heard it said that people come into our lives
For a reason bringing something we must learn
And we are led to those who help us most to grow
If we let them and we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today because I knew you
(Blaine)
Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you I have been changed for good
(Sebastian)
It well may be that we will never meet again
In this lifetime so let me say before we part
So much of me is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine by being my friend
(Blaine)
Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird in a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
(Sebastian and Blaine)
But because I knew you
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good
(Sebastian)
And just to clear the air I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for
(Blaine)
But then, I guess we know there's blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore
(Sebastian and Blaine)
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better
And because I knew you
Because I knew you
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good
The clapping and the tearing up coming from behind us was white noise. In this moment, it was just Blaine and I against the world. In this moment, I knew. It would be Blaine and I forever. Together.