Subject: Edward Cullen, aka The Womanizer

by ericastwilight

Edward's family hire Bella Swan to break the heartbreaker's heart in hopes to have him see the error of his womanizing ways. But she falls hard, too, at the risk of breaking her own heart when the truth is revealed. EXB-AH-OOC

24. Black

Subject: Edward Cullen aka The Womanizer

Chapter Twenty-Four – Black

---

Bella

My memories lured me to a couple of days before. To when he told me he loved me, and to the place where my heart thought his love was unconditional.

One of his hands curled around my neck, but he didn't apply any pressure, just a ghost of his former touches. He'd taken a hold of my chin, angling it so he'd have access to my neck. His nose grazed slowly along my jawline and neck, his fingers gliding over my necklace. Long, warm fingers curled around them, scratching me lightly in between my breasts.

I gasped as he wrenched the necklace from me, cutting into my skin. He tossed the necklace aside, but wore the ring on the tip of his forefinger. Of course, I hadn't deserved to wear the ring. It'd been the one material object that symbolized his love for me.

I deserved this, his anger. I knew it would be great. My selfish need to be with me kept me from telling him the truth. My need and desire for him to love me instead of hate me. For this, my betrayal, he'd hate me. I hated myself for causing him the pain so evident in his eyes.

I blurred the line between love and hate. For the first time in years, I questioned what he could possibly be thinking at this moment. To have found out that the woman he loved hurt him.

My breaths, broken and erratic, caused the pain in my chest to heighten. In his eyes were filled with so many conflicting feelings. My eyes started to sting with tears, and suddenly, the anger in his eyes was replaced with something else, sadness. It was painful to see.

His eyes remained on mine as laid his forehead on mine. "Love me," he whispered.

I trembled but I never took my eyes off of him. I answered honestly, "Always."

"Marry me," he gasped, laying open-mouthed kisses on my collarbone. Twisting the ring from his finger, he placed on mine.

"In a heartbeat," I murmured, moaning as he bit into my neck.

For a moment, my heart soared with the thought that he still wanted me. Then my mind crippled my heart, reminding me that there was a good chance he wouldn't remember what happened. The almost empty bottle of vodka would likely hinder his memory.

His hands trembled as they brushed over my hands and arms. Then I sensed the sudden change in his demeanor, his body stiffened, and his hands on my arms tightened to the point of bruising. An almost cold-hearted look of anger clouded his eyes, hardening his gaze.

"Well that little performance just won you a Golden Globe, honey," he sneered, biting down on my neck, hard. Fuck! I couldn't let him do this to me, but I knew he wouldn't hurt me. He was in pain, I deserved the pain. I needed to feel him one more time. However, he needed to understand despite the truth I loved him.

I dropped my right shoulder and turned in toward my chest, pushing him hard against the adjacent wall. He winced and hissed in pain but his eyes remained on my own. His hold on me tightened.

"Do you think this isn't real?" I hissed. "Do you honestly believe that I never loved you?" His gazed moved from mine, lingering on my lips. When his did the same, I knew what he wanted. Fuck, I needed it, too.

I needed to feel him one more time. I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve him, because I hurt him. And when he hurt, I hurt. The pain, crushing and all encompassing fed on what was left of my sanity. I needed to feel him one more time. One more time I repeated in my mind like a mantra.

Hungrily, I pressed my mouth on his, biting his bottom lip. He groaned and parted his lips invitation. Taking my face in his hands, his fingers splayed across my cheeks, holding on to me for dear life. Fingers dug into my skin, it hurt but I didn't care. I needed to feel him.

He pulled away, gasping for breath, his eyes bore into mine. There was something he found something because he kissed me with renewed vigor. His lips ghosted over mine, trembling.

"I need to feel something was real," he whispered, his fingers still had their vise like grip on my face.

"I lo –"

However, he didn't let me finish. The moment the words had come from my mouth, he'd taken my mouth to stop them. His hands moved from my cheeks, gliding over my neck until he grasped my arms again. He pushed me once again against the wall behind me.

"Not that, Bella," he said gravely, hoarsely. God, I could hear the pain in his voice. "I can't hear that right now."

I nodded and he dipped his head to devour my lips. My blouse, torn open, tossed aside just as quickly. Fingers and palms gripped my hips hard, his erection ground against me.

I moaned, causing him to hiss, "Do you really like that?"

"Yes," I gasped. Our hands fumbled for the buttons on our jeans. Urgent need and hand that trembled had us scrambling.

"How do I know?" he asked as he tossed our jeans aside

"Look, listen, and feel," I answered. Skin on skin, his hands grabbed my ass almost painfully. It didn't matter, needed to feel him completely. One last time, I told myself. Tugging on his hair, I moaned into our kiss. Seconds passed before I felt the sting of my panties torn away from me.

"What am I supposed to feel now Bella?" His words barely audible to my own ear yet carried so much emotion.

"Angry and confused … Mostly angry," I answered. My hands dove under his button down shirt, forcing him to pull it over his head. Impatient to feel more of his skin, I tore at his shirt. Buttons scattered across the floor as I dragged the shirt down his shoulders instead.

His hand found purchase under each of my knees, hitching my legs on his hips. Delicious friction I felt as he ground against me, friction I longed for one last time. Not that I deserved it.

"I'm…hurt," he gasped as his lips descended down my neck to my left breast. On the soft swell of my breast, he bit down, soothing the area after with his tongue.

"I know, but I do l…" I trailed off and screamed when he bit down hard. Shit!

"Don't say that when you don't mean it!" he growled against my skin. Taking my sore nipple back into his warm mouth, I hissed.

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it!" I snapped back. Stumbling backward as I pushed him, he landed on his ass. I rubbed at the marks he already put on me. The look of anger and pain spoke volumes; he knew he pushed too far. I walked into the bedroom ready to slam the door behind me. If it was over, so be it. Maybe he'd be in a better state of mind to listen to what I had to say.

Before the door could close fully, his hand stopped me. "There you go again. How the hell do I know if anything that comes out of that pretty little mouth of yours is fucking real?" Pulling me in his arms, he slammed me against the door, effectively closing it.

"You won't let me say how I really feel about you," I hissed. "So I'm telling you what we both really want to believe."

"And what exactly, do you think I want believe?" His hands gripped my shoulders and I held his arms firmly.

"That this is just a horrible nightmare we both want to wake up from," I whispered, looking at the flash of pain fill his eyes. He closed his eyes and blocked my only access into his mind. He took a few short breaths before opening his eyes again.

"Don't leave me." His eyes filled with fear and pain.

"I'll always be with you."

"Don't leave me," he repeated. I shook my head. "Is what I feel for you… what you feel for me?" he whispered as he leaned down and captured my lips in a frenzied kiss.

I knew he wasn't ready for me to tell him I loved him. So answered the best way I could. "I do." His eyes intensified at my words, he seemed to believe me. I sighed as he lifted me by my ass and slid slowly inside me. We both groaned as he pulled back to slam back inside me.

"This discussion…is far…from…over," he said in between breaths as he pounded into me relentlessly.

"I know."

~oOo~

Sunlight filtered from the window, quietly reminding me that I had to get up to face the music. I kept my eyes closed and prayed that the previous night was a fucking nightmare. And that he hadn't found out in the worst way.

Reality crawled back into my mind. And considering how my body ached, everything had happened. I heard him groan beside me his arm draped over my hip, his head planted at his usual place, on my chest. For a moment, I smiled that I could be close to him. But the look of his face was anything but peaceful.

Usually when I awoke early, I loved to watch him sleep. His face was always so relaxed. But this morning, his facial expression was different. The corners of his lips were turned down, his eyes seemed as if they were scrunched in pain and his brows were furrowed.

I sighed softly and wanted to desperately to take his pain away. My fingers ran through his hair, coaxing another groan from his mouth. He turned to his side and whispered my name. It was a cry. God, what have we done to this man?

I wanted to stay in bed with him a little longer. That was my intention until I noticed my arm. My eyes almost popped out of my head. Oh my God. I had bruises all over my arms. Bruises from his firm hold on me littered my whole body, my ribs, my waist, my hips and my thighs.

If he saw this…I threw the sheet off my body ready to jump into something before he awoke. He'd only punish himself, because he always had when he was too rough. However, I asked for him the previous night for more and harder. And each time he delivered. We both needed to feel each other last night. And in that urgency, we just held on to one another too strongly.

As I pulled away from him, I noticed his back. His usually pale expanse of his strong back was marred by a large reddish purplish bruise on his lower back. There were also distinct round bruises on each cheek of his ass from my heels of my feet. Ouch.

Careful not to wake him, I slowly climbed out of bed. I swept the sheet over his naked body and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Please remember, baby. If he remembered what was said the night before, then there was hope. I knew our troubles weren't over, but it was a very small start.

With a long sleeve sweater and jeans, I walked into the bathroom. My reflection had me doing a double-take. How the hell do I cover that up? Under my eyes, along the apples of my cheeks were light bruises, from his thumbs. Shit. There were three more along my jaw on each side.

I quickly took a shower and put makeup and did my best to cover up the evidence of what happened last night. I knew everyone would jump to the wrong conclusions if they saw bruises on my face.

After I brushed my teeth and hair, I crept quietly into the hallway and picked up our clothing from the floor. I went into the office and picked up his laptop where it landed across the room. It was a good thing that it was one of those heavy duty ones he used when he visited construction sites. It was still working. I found his charger and plugged it in. I needed to know what he'd seen.

Surely he wouldn't have asked me to marry him again, if he hadn't seen that I closed his file after we returned from the falls. The daily logs would've showed him how I fell in love with him. I clicked on the files on the CD and thankfully it was still working. I found the necessary logs and found that he read through his main file and opened several photos. I checked the daily log videos and found that he only watched the first two videos.

Shit. He hadn't even seen any of the videos past my initial analysis of him.

I ran out of the office careful to lock it, checking on him and he was still sleeping, though it seemed fitful. The sheets were tangled over his body. I left a glass of water and two Motrin on the bedside table.

I walked into the kitchen intent on making a good breakfast. When I heard him moving around in the apartment, I made no attempt to call out to him. He had to make the first move. I had no idea what he remembered. I had no idea how we would feel about what he learned.

I felt him near me and I waited with bated breath for what may come. His arms wrapped my waist. I instantly stiffened against him, unsure of his intentions. After taking a cleansing breath, his freshly showered scent all around me, I tried to calm my frantic heart rate. Was he leaving me?

"Good morning, love," he whispered in my ear. I trembled; his voice didn't sound strained. "Sorry I missed you last night," he continued to whisper fanning his breath along my neck.

I let out a breath I was unaware I was holding. Oh, God. He doesn't remember.

~oOo~

I had played along during breakfast, answering questions. Angry and deeply saddened that he'd forgotten everything from the previous night. Worse, I knew he knew and vice-versa. I had no idea the game he planned on playing, but I would not end this first.

I wanted to scream, to cry, to kiss him and for him to love me still. Despite the pain I undoubtedly caused him. Correction the pain I was still causing him. It was so fucking obvious in his stilled conversation and in his eyes. There was underlying hint of anger, pain in their depths. Though throughout breakfast there were moments that his eyes softened, it was gone in a flash. He was fighting, an internal struggle between his mind and heart.

When I had to lie about why I couldn't wear the dress, I hated myself. From the moment I knew my feelings were more than attraction, I had promised myself I wouldn't lie to him. With the truth exposed merely hours earlier, and I had already lied.

It hit me then, that there would be no more kisses, no more dances. No more holding each other. Not after this. The rest of breakfast was eaten silence, a heavy, palpable tension in the air around us.

"I better get going." He got up and rinsed his plate and cups, then placed a kiss on my lips. I couldn't help the tears that escaped me. They had been threatening to spill over since he walked into the kitchen. He pulled away averting his eyes, whispering a good-bye and running out the door.

I sobbed and let out a strangled cry, my knees hitting the floor as the door closed behind him. I wasn't aware of how long I laid on the floor, but I heard my cell phone ringing over and over again.

I had to pull myself together, because I had a responsibility to the foundation. When the phone rang again, I checked the caller ID, Sharon. I quickly answered, praying she hadn't slipped further into her depression since Daniel's death.

"Sharon?" I said like a question. I had been working with her for a few weeks and had recommended a therapist, but she preferred me.

"Dr. Swan, I know you're busy today but I was wondering…if you can –" she seemed nervous.

"You know I can't prescribe anything, right?" I asked. She had declined medication the last time we had a session with a colleague of mine, claiming that talking was helping.

"I need something to make me feel a little more like myself. But can you recommend something natural?"

"Take your regular vitamins and take some St. John's Wort," I recommended.

"Okay, I'll look for that at the pharmacy. Thank you, Bella. Good luck tonight."

"Thank you, Sharon."

"Oh wait, does St. John's Wort interact with any medications?"

My mind wandered for a moment. Then I remembered, and the phone fell from my trembling hand. Oh God.

~oOo~

After refusing Alice's help to get ready, I set out to search for the perfect dress. I knew she could help me without me having to explain the bruises from our love making. She wouldn't understand our mutual need. However, I had her take some of Edward's things, including his tux, his apartment.

I chose a new black dress from my closet, but it needed a jacket. With my dress in hand, I went to find something fitting for the evening and my mood. However, I had to make a stop before shopping. A stop at the local pharmacy, and once I made my purchase, I stashed it in my purse. I'd have time later.

I called Edward to let him know that his tux was waiting for him at his apartment. I had hoped that he remembered something about what had occurred the previous night, but his clipped answered indicated that he was upset.

He fucking forgot or he was pretending he had, if so, why?

~oOo~

"Here you go Miss," the saleswoman said, "This is the new Oscar de la Renta."

She handed me a beautiful floor length jacket made of tulle and velvet that had beading along the sheer sleeves. When she tried to remove my current jacket, I pulled the jacket from her and walked back into the dressing room.

I removed my jacket I'd worn over my dress, noticing the bruises that littered my arms. I had no choice but to cover up. The jacket the saleswoman chose was the perfect fit; it covered up my arms and shielded me from the storm front that I knew would be coming.

I walked out of the dressing room and made my way to the three way mirror. The saleswoman told me about the jacket. I bit back a gasp when she told me the price. I told myself, I would triple the amount and donate it to the foundation.

"You look beautiful, Miss." She seemed sincere so I kept my mouth shut. My mood was as black as my clothing. "May I ask where you're wearing this?"

"A funeral," I whispered, my voice laced with pain. I tried to stop the stinging in my eyes, but I couldn't hold on anymore. I knew the end was coming, and I would lose him.

"I'm sorry, Miss. Who's?" she asked genuinely concerned.

Tears slipped from my eyes as I answered, "My own heart."

~oOo~

I made it back the apartment a little before two in the afternoon with my purchases. I cleaned up the kitchen, and the bedroom. It had taken almost an hour to straighten out the office and put everything in its place, including the picture he destroyed. The picture remained remarkably unscathed.

I replaced the frame and put it back on the desk. I took his file from his laptop and wrote on the surface. Look – See – Listen. Once done, I placed it back in the computer.

Hopefully if I couldn't convince him that I really loved him, he'd watch this and know.

Once my makeup and hair was ready, I made my way to the closet to dress. Edward would be here soon, and I wanted to be covered up before he arrived. It was almost five o'clock and we were supposed to make our appearances in an hour.

I pulled off my robe and slid my dress on, but I had trouble zippering up. It was then that I noticed my ring missing. No! God no! I frantically started to look throughout the room, remembering that I had it after I showered. The bathroom, I thought.

I went through the hamper and every nook and cranny, but there was nothing. How was I supposed to the tell someone that probably didn't believe I loved him that I lost the ring he'd given me?

Thankfully I found it under my dress, nearly sobbing with relief when it was back in my possession.

It was then I heard him in the hallway. My breathing hitched. I still had no idea what he remembered. I ran into my closet to grab my jacket. I remained quiet, finally managing to get into my dress and jacket.

"My love, are you ready?" I noticed hesitation in his voice.

The next several minutes proved to very difficult. In the sense that I had no idea what to expect from him, but the coldness I saw in his eyes was a clear warning of the approaching storm. Why are you pretending?

When he tried to offer his assistance, I overreacted. I hadn't been ready to face him. I was angry, at myself and that he seemed to forget everything. And he was playing some fucked up game. I hadn't looked at him when I stepped out of the closet. If I had looked into his eyes, I knew my composure would crumble. I had a pair of heels that I tried to put on while holding onto the bed post.

"Let me help you with those," he said closing the distance between us. He took my heels from me. His hand brushed mine and our electrical charge that we shared whenever we touched reminded me of what I was about to lose.

Why was he still pretending? He obviously didn't start drinking until after he found the disk. So those memories should be intact. What the fuck was he waiting for?

"Don't touch me," I whispered, his touch was something I couldn't stand right now.

He looked at me. A flash of anger passed in his eyes. This was it, but it wasn't the time.

I took my heels back and sat on the bed and put them on. I thought to myself, I love you. I'm sorry. I need you. Don't leave me. I repeated the four statements in my mind over and over again.

"Bella," he said my name taking a step closer to me. I glared at him, because I had no idea what his intentions were, but I could see something brewing under his cool demeanor. It was the same mask he wore before he left me after I was poisoned.

"Let's get this over with," I snapped, grabbing a black sequin clutch. I brushed past him, when he grabbed my arm. "Let me go." He glared at me in an attempt to intimidate me. I knew then that he knew about the file. He remembered, and he was waiting for the right moment to strike me down.

In that moment, I wanted to force him to remember. Remind him of what we'd said to each other in bed the previous night. "I have enough bruises there." I walked out of the bedroom with him hot on my heels.

"I thought you said your bruise was on your shoulder."

Fucking asshole he remembered everything except what we talked about. And the fact that he pretty much asked me to marry him. I was pissed. I was tired of this shit. I wanted it over with. "You seriously don't fucking remember last night, do you?"

He shook his head.

I closed my eyes. Damn it! Fuck. What the hell do I do?

I had to make a fucking appearance to about five hundred people, who paid ten thousand dollars a plate for the foundation. I was the face of the foundation and it meant the world to me. However, I knew I wouldn't be able to do it after a confrontation with Edward. I clenched my jaw and fists, trying to calm myself down. After a while my breathing returned to normal, and I opened my eyes to find him staring at me.

"We're going to the Gala and make our appearance and after I guess it's time to have the discussion you've been putting off." He glared at me. He was pissed that I chose to turn this around on him. I hadn't cared at that point.

"You promised not to hurt my project if anything should happen to us," I whispered, my eyes searched his for a rebuttal.

"So another scene, except everyone else is the audience and not just me?"

I knew that this is what he would think. I should've prepared myself for his reaction better. I hadn't, because I wanted to believe that everything would work out between us.

"If that's what you want to believe then yes." It hurt that he hadn't believed the thousands of times I'd told him I loved him. He nodded and so had I. I took a deep breath, closing the distance between us.

"Come on, champ," I said. It felt like the day after he had driven me home from the hospital months ago. We were pretending. "It's time to get this show on the road."

We made it to the Gala about twenty minutes later. The ride was filled with small talk about his golf game and my dress. I kept my eyes away from his, because I couldn't look at him. There were times that I could feel his eyes on me when I looked out the window. It reflected my face, and the pain was not so easily hidden.

When Edward held me close when arrived, it was too much. It was too close. The pain my chest was growing more and more. His touches only reminded me of what I was about to lose. I tried to pull away but he held me tighter, I winced. The bruised along the sides of my body hurt. He looked at me questioningly, but I shook my head. It wasn't the time to deal with everything.

We were led to our table, where my family waited along with Edward's family. I pulled away from Edward and went to greet Julie and Jordan. Julie had a very big smile on her face and I wondered why.

Before I had a chance to ask, my brother laughed and stood up. I sucked in a breath, wrapping my arms around him and started to sob uncontrollably.

"Bells, calm down!" Jordan said loudly. However, I was spent. There had been too many emotions in so little time. For six years, I held back. I held back for too long.

"It's too…mu-ch," I gasped. I heard Edward sigh and he took my hand. He pulled me from my brother, leading into the hall for privacy.

"You need to pull yourself together, Bella," he snapped, whipping me around to face him.

I can't do this now. Please not now. I can't. I felt myself about to lose it, my heart hurt.

"I'm fine," I said but it came out wrong.

"Falling and sobbing all over your brother is hardly fine," he indicated.

Well, sorry to ruin such a fucking beautiful evening.

"Sorry that I have a lot to deal with lately. It's all a little too much right now. Remember you, near death experience, and washing blood off my body?"

"You've used that excuse already, sweetheart."

What? How dare he? I slapped him.

Leave, I told myself, I had to go before the pain in my chest got worse. I walked away, but Edward grabbed my shoulder, causing the jacket to slip off. I heard him gasp from behind me. I realized that he probably could see the bruise that the necklace caused. He quickly removed his hand, a look of horror fixed on his face.

Good, he remembered something. "Coming back to you?" I inquired, fixing my jacket. "Now come darling, it's time to put up that Bachelor of the Year persona."

We both stood our ground and glared at each other. After a few moments, he led me by the small of my back to the table and we took our seats. Soon we spoke with everyone at our table. I made a few rounds, talking to some of our biggest donators. Edward stood and sat with me never wavering from his cool composure. However, I knew better. The anger was under the surface, waiting until it could be unleashed.

We laughed and spoke with his family as if it was a normal evening. I touched his arm a few times, noticing how he hadn't shied away from my touch. From time to time his internal turmoil threatened his external composure, evident whenever he ran his hands through his hair roughly.

Emmett had made some comment about Edward's hair looked more like a cockatiel. I laughed, telling him that he was jealous of Edward's sexy hair as I ran my fingers through it, trying to tame it.

I looked into his eyes, hoping to convey with my own eyes how much I loved him. He groaned as I placed soft lingering kiss on his lips. After he pulled me into his arms, deepening the kiss, I found my Edward.

However, when I tried to tell him that it'd been real for a long time, he walked away, unable to deal with his conflicting emotions. And I couldn't go after him since Carlisle and Esme made their way to the podium. I took my speech notes from my clutch, but I trembled. How was I supposed to do this? I needed to go to him.

Alice sat beside me. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"He knows, Alice," I whispered.

She gasped beside me. "You told…now…why now?"

"I didn't tell him. He found his file."

"Oh God."

"While I'm up there, can you tell everyone else? We're going to have to talk to him after this."

She nodded as Esme finished her speech. Edward hadn't returned, but I gave a nod to Carlisle who took his place. After introduction, I walked to the podium. I was panicking, and I could feel it in my chest.

I wasn't supposed to be up there, and I should've been by his side. I needed to find him. My speech was recited, my voice only cracked once. I had barely kept it together. I went back to my table, a round of applause following me. I hadn't deserved it.

Edward's family and my own surrounded me as the room was transformed to a dance floor. Thankfully, Nessie pointed out that Jordan and Julie had left. I wasn't ready to discuss my subjects to him, because I knew it would hurt him. The family discussed on how to handle talking to him when he returned. Jacob was talking with Mike and Jessica, telling each other how they handled it when I broke their hearts.

Yeah that's not making me feel better guys.

I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to keep myself together. Alice bent down to whisper in my ear that Edward coming toward me. He ignored everyone else, his eyes only on me.

Please not here, Edward. Not now. Please.

The earrings were beautiful, but what he said was not. I felt him being pulled away from me. The pain in my chest was too fucking much. I was pissed. Here, of all places he chose to do this. I heard Carlisle, saying something to Edward, but I also heard Mrs. Carrington whisper something from the other table.

My life was over. I was going to lose him and everything else.

I stood up and practically ran out two doors that led to a large hallway. I felt him before I heard him. He followed me. He really wanted to do this here. I started to pace the hallway with my arms wrapped around my chest.

"Isn't this how it works, Bella?" he asked, seething. "I find out and I'm instantly a better person." I slapped the look of fucking satisfaction he had on his face.

"You humiliated me in there! You just put the foundation in a scandal and I'm pretty fucking sure I'll lose my license."

"I don't give a fuck!" he roared, nose to nose.

I slapped him again. Of course he hadn't, but he assumed the worst because he didn't know all the fucking facts.

It was over and after my little rant about exposing this at the Gala, I wasn't delusional, I had to end it right at that moment.

"How much did you charge them?" Ah, of course, the fact that his family was the first I asked for actual compensation and not only expenses came back to bite me.

"My fee was fifteen thousand a month, plus expenses."

"That's forty-five thousand or did you give them a discount when we were apart those two weeks?"

When I tried to slap him again, he caught my wrist and saw the bruises. The recognition was clear in his eyes. Please remember, baby. Emmett tore Edward away from me, standing protectively in front of me as Edward looked past him.

After his family told him I returned the money, he still refused to listen. "And I'm supposed to believe you. I'm supposed to believe that…what she really fell in love with me and returned the money."

The family said something, but voices started to blend together. I was angry and hurt. I had already lost everything because of him, no, because of me. It was my turn to twist the knife in his back. The one I put there, so that he'd move on, eventually.

"If I didn't love you, I would've walked away when you did after I was poisoned," I whispered. I had no intention of saying anything further. I wanted him to stew on what I said, but what he said pissed me off by what he said next.

"You needed me for comfort!"

The pain my chest increased and I couldn't take anymore. I sobbed, trembling as Rosalie and Alice rushed to my side. No, they shouldn't help me. He'd need them more than I would. I shook my head.

Words and phrases failed me, confusing me further. I said things that made little sense to anyone but me and him, if he had remembered. "If I didn't love you with all that I am, I wouldn't have said yes and let you have me last night, not like that at least."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Edward asked cautiously.

I stepped away from Rosalie's embrace, letting her jacket pool at my feet. His eyes flashed with emotion after emotion. I wanted him to walk away without a doubt that it was over between us. If he knew that it was over, he'd get over us that much sooner. I twisted my knife more.

I turned from him as I lowered the back zipper of my dress, revealing bruises along my ribs and lower back. Darkly I laughed and said, "I'm sure you have some of your own. I let you, but neither of us were gentle last night."

"Why…why would you … Why didn't you … fight…" he gasped, stumbling backward.

With his broken words, I lost it. My chest hurt bad and my head pounded. "Get me out of here," I cried to Alice. "Get me out of here!"

I collapsed in Rosalie's arms and I felt my heart breaking. Every part of my body was numb, including my legs.

"Bella!" he cried out just before I felt the night air. I wanted to go back to him. I tried to say something, but no one could hear me.

Edward

"Edward," I heard Carlisle say as he patted my cheek to wake me. I pushed him away, rising to my feet. What the fuck just happened? "Where is she?" I growled, walking out to the night air.

"She left with Alice and Rosalie."

"Carlisle, I hurt…hurt her."

"No, son."

"Did you see her? I hurt her. She'll never want me back."

"It's not what you think."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Alice called. She said that Bella tried to come back inside but they wouldn't let her. She kept saying that she needed to tell you that it wasn't what it looked like." He looked uncomfortable, rubbing the back of his neck. "It you know…angry sex." He shook his head.

The bitch, it was all just another fucking scene. I stormed toward her car.

"Where are you going, son?"

"Fuck off, Carlisle," I growled, wiping the blood from my lip.

"No, I will not fuck off. Where are you going?" His face was laced with both anger and concern. I wished I had the guts to wipe that look off his fucking face.

"Where else? To go fuck the first fine piece of ass I see at the club."

"Ah, the easy way out," he said calmly, his previous anger dissipating.

"Yes, I need to fuck her out of my system," I seethed, my fists clenching on my sides. I was desperate to hit something or someone. All I wanted now was to drown away my fucking misery and guilt. I had no memory of what I did to her the previous night.

"You were always one for the dramatics and quick fix solutions. We need to talk, now," he said before I could reach the car.

My head snapped back to look at him and my anger quickly boiling back to the surface. I started to pace in the hotel parking lot, trying to calm myself before I took it out on the one man that I respected most. My curiosity overrode my desire to afflict more damage. After a few calming breaths I was able to ask the one question that I needed an answer for.

"Why?"

Carlisle sighed and started to pace. His usual calm demeanor fell apart. "First of all, we all had ulterior motives. Each and every one of us, including your aunt, has been involved."

I looked at him in question. She was the last person I would believe that would want any part of this fucking situation.

"My reasoning? When we all sat down and spoke our concerns on your tendencies and blatant disregard for women, we all thought that you'd listen. But instead, that same night you went to the club and bedded Tanya. We knew nothing we said got through to you. We were all at our breaking points. Esme lost quite a few friends and she was kicked out of her book club…"

"What the fuck does that have to do with me?" I growled, my anger starting to bubble again. I didn't need any more fucking guilt.

"You slept with all their daughters, and let me finish," he snapped back at me. "I lost all my golf buddies, one father actually tried to run me over with a golf cart."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"And Alice… you realized that Lily was her best friend until you slept with her. After you tossed her aside, she refused to speak with Alice and ceased to come to any family functions. Then she sued the company."

I felt like I hardly deserved to be sued since most of the flirting occurred outside the office. We chose to settle the case for over three million dollars.

"Rosalie has known you the least amount of time. She was always so hesitant to become close to you because of way you treated women reminded her so much of Royce."

I winced we all heard the story of what he did to her. How he broke her heart and tossed her aside after being together for over two years. He came to see her a few nights later and attacked her; it took a great deal of time for her to get over what he did. Emmett was the only one that made her see that she was still beautiful.

Bile started to come up my throat again, the guilt chewing through my stomach. I hurt Bella in some way last night. The bruises proved it. I heard Carlisle's phone ring, indicating that he received a message.

Another memory flashed through my mind. My back was pushed up against the wall and Bella's hands tugged hard on my hair, her mouth devouring my own. My hands left her face and I gripped her waist tightly, in a desperate attempt to hold on to her. I pushed her hard against the wall behind her, her teeth biting into my tongue. I groaned, grabbing hold of her hips, grounding my arousal against her.

I heard Carlisle as he said, "I'll get there as soon as I can." He turned to me. "Bella's in the hospital."

What? Despite my anger, I still loved her. We both approached this wrong, and we were both were so angry that we let it consume us.

"Don't go over there. Give yourselves some time to calm down."

"Wait, why is she in the hospital?" I had to know. I had to know that she was okay.

"She passed out then Alice said something about getting sick on the side of the road."

Carlisle paced a few times and ran his fingers through his hair. "Look son, we all did something we thought would help you. Her method has worked with all her previous partners. And we prayed that it would help you. We had no idea that you'd fall for each other. Well actually some of us hoped that it would turn to something real. It did, Edward."

"How am I supposed to know what was real, Carlisle?" He turned to look at me. "How can we go back to what we had?"

"You can't, that much is true. You both have been hurt beyond repair. Right now, you both need some time and to heal." Carlisle shrugged his shoulders. "Don't do something you'd regret, son." He fished his keys from his pocket and walked toward his Mercedes that was parked by Bella's car. "Take my car and give me Bella's keys." I nodded, handing him the keys.

"I have to go inside. I think some of Bella's friends may have diffused the situation, but I need to see if anyone heard something. See if we can cover this up."

"Carlisle, I didn't …mean to –" I felt so stupid. I risked the foundation and the company, again.

"I know. Sometimes we say and do stupid things when we're angry."

I nodded. "Can you call me with news of her condition?"

He nodded. I slid into his car and left. I needed to do something to forget everything that happened in the last twenty-four hours. I went to the club. I hadn't been there since the night Bella almost died.

I removed my tie and jacket, unbuttoning a few buttons in my shirt. I walked in and went straight for the bar. "Three shots of Jenessen," I told the female bartender. She smiled at me and winked, quickly making my order. I ignored her. I drank each one in quick succession.

I scanned the dance floor. And I swore I could see myself wrapped around my Bella, her body moving against my own. A woman with sandy blond hair came up to me then. "Hey there champ, want to dance?"

Champ. Bella called me that. I shook my head no, because no one could call me that but her.

Another blonde made a move minutes later, her hand glided over my arm. She purred in my ear. She hadn't even bothered to ask me, she just pulled me to the dance floor. I barely moved, but I felt her move against me. The lights flashed around the dance floor as memories assaulted me.

"That's the only love sound you'll hear from me, Edward."The pain in my chest increased.

"So, no prospects tonight, Tiger?" My breathing became erratic.

"What do I have to do for you to let me see you?" I asked, kissing the top of her head.

"We'd have to remain professional while at the office. You have to let me pace our physical relationship and –" she trailed off.

My head pounded. "I love you," I said, giving her a grin and a wink. Bella smiled. "I love you." I could barely breathe.

"I love you Bella, no matter what you have tell me, I'll still love you." My head started to spin.

Bella stood up suddenly and I knew something was wrong. She grabbed her chest. Her chest started to heave. Nessie grabbed her and Bella looked at me gasping for breath.

I watched with crystal clarity as Bella reached for me. I watched as her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her body collapsed on the floor.

I barely made it to the bathroom and wretched in the toilet.

"Go home, Edward. You don't belong here anymore," a voice said from outside the stall.

I flushed the toilet and flung the door open. There stood Julian. Bella's ex. A subject. "What number are you?" I asked, pushing against him so I could pass.

"I was number two."

I laughed as I washed out my mouth and hands. Who was lucky number one? Jacob, who else? "How the fuck can you even stand her?"

"Easy, I love her." I whipped my head around to glare at him. "Don't look at me that way. I was in your place five years ago and I was pissed as hell."

"What did you do?"

"I tried to do the same thing you had, but I succeeded. I fucked the first pair of pretty legs I could find. I fucking lost my dinner afterward. It just wasn't the same anymore. I went back to talk to her after several failed attempts at forgetting her. I asked her to lift the curse she placed on me."

I laughed. That was exactly what it felt like with her. Magic. I shook my head. All of that was too much.

"You don't belong here, Edward. I don't think you ever really did. You came in here and performed like a robot. Tell me from all your previous experiences, did any compare to her?"

"No."

"Exactly. She made it more. I had a hard time but with her help she made me see what was right in front of me the whole time, my best friend."

I nodded. "But she…they say that it was real for her."

Julian laughed. "Yes it is. I noticed it the first time I saw you two together. She never looked at me like the way she looked at you." I shook my head, unable to cope with what he told me. "Tell me, Edward, in all the time you spent with her how many times did she tell you that she loved you?"

I thought for a moment, I feared the memories, but I wanted to know where he was going with this. "Thousands," I whispered, looking at my reflection in the mirror over the sink. I watched Julian smile in the mirror his dark eyes locked with mine.

"Well, in all the time I spent with her and the many times I told her I loved her, not once did she tell me she loved me."

Well… fuck.