Chapter 35: Luck
A/N: You guys have no idea how awesome it feels to come home after a long day of classes to see all the love! I'll update as much as I can. I love you all and thank you again! On a side note, please don't hate me for this chapter. Believe me; when (not if) Sebastian and Blaine get back together, there will be nothing that will be able to break them. After all they've been through already, it's just served to make them stronger. Yes, their lives are insanely full of drama, but I hope that the love and passion they share for each other through thick and thin is obvious. I hope I'm making it clear just how much these two love each other. I put my heart and soul into how I think their characters would act and the love they share.
"Sebastian, I-"
"It's fine Blaine." I said pushing myself off the wall. "I understand."
"Wait." He said grabbing my arm. "I just don't know what I want to do." He said sighing in defeat. I don't even know why I was bothering. Yeah, I loved him. I always would, but if he wanted something else, then it was his right to do so.
"You should be with Kurt." I said pulling his hand off of me.
"Can you please just let me explain?" He said grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the car. When we entered the car, we sat there in silence before Blaine decided to speak. "I'm sure I don't have to tell you what I was doing on the phone with you before he showed up," I smirked. Yeah, I remember. Touching yourself to my voice, super hot. "And I was just about to leave to drive to Dalton,"
"For what?" I interrupted lifting an eyebrow. Blaine turned that adorable shade of pink when he was embarrassed or nervous. It was a shame I missed out on that opportunity. Stupid Kurt, ruining everything for me.
"To see Hunter of course." He said smiling. "But anyways, I was about to leave when Kurt showed up. He came because he heard about Cooper, but also because…well, he wants to get back together. But I can't. I don't want to be with him."
"Blaine, I need you to be honest with yourself. If you still have feelings for him, then see if it's worth another chance." I let out a deep breath before I continued. "I want to be with you for the rest of my life. You know that. But sometimes life just sucks. You were my first love Blaine, and I want more than anything for you to be my last." I grabbed his hand, not wanting to say what I was about to say. "But we know it can't happen. As much as I hate to say this, and believe me, I hate saying this, Kurt did make you happy. You'll be in New York, so the distance thing won't apply anymore. He was always good at that cute romance crap, which is why in the end I never got you or my nationals trophy."
"So, what? You're just letting me go like that?" Blaine said letting go of my hands and looking out his window.
"Look at me." I said turning his head. "I don't want to. You know that. But if letting you go is the only thing that I can do so that you can find your happiness, then I'll do it. I'd do anything to see you smile Blaine. To hear you laugh. To make you happy. If that mean's you won't be with me, then so be it."
"You're always putting me before yourself Sebastian." He said placing his head against the head rest and looking up. "I'm just confused. I didn't do anything with Kurt, but being with him made me feel as if it was something I was already used to. It felt like coming home to a safe place." I hope my smile isn't betraying me right now, because on the inside I'm pretty sure I just died. "If your dad wasn't shipping you away, I wouldn't have even given Kurt a second thought. But I need someone there to pick up the pieces when you leave me." Blaine finished in barely a whisper. Leaving him. That's exactly what I would have to do. But it's also the one thing I didn't want to do.
"Make no mistake." I said as we got out of his car. "If I was staying, there is no chance in hell that you would've gone back to him. I would have fought for you until I could fight no more." I shot him a wink, hoping that he wouldn't get the impression that I was devastated, but he only replied with a soft smile.
"So is that it?" He said holding the door closed as I was trying to open it so we could rejoin everyone.
"What else can I do?" We weren't arguing. It felt more like finally reaching acceptance. I literally despised the fact that Kurt would be with Blaine, but because I knew Blaine would eventually forget me and be happy, I would do it. "We can still be friends."
"Friends." He said under his breath, letting out a sarcastic laugh. "He'll be leaving Friday." Blaine said, opening the door and walking back inside. What did that mean?
Obviously I wasn't creative enough to dream something awesome, like Blaine under me moaning out my name. I had to dream and relive the events of the night before.
I woke up to Hunter's breath tickling my neck, his head right next to mine and his hand over my chest. What the hell?
"Hunter…" I said nudging him awake. "Wake up." I tried nudging harder.
"W-what Bas? Let me sleep." Hunter and I had went to Scandals after Bread Stix, but neither of us got that wasted that we wouldn't remember having sex, right?
"Did we have sex?" I asked casually. Please say no.
"Yeah, it was awesome." He said rubbing his eyes and rolling onto his back. "Of course not. You tried to, but I knew better." He said winking at me. "If I did let you fuck me, you wouldn't shut up about how you shouldn't have done that to Blaine." He said rolling his eyes and cuddling next to me.
"Then why are you in my bed?" Hunter opened his eyes and looked up at me.
"You haven't had a nightmare in a few weeks. Until last night that is." He said closing his eyes again. "The only way to stop you from screaming and crying is if someone's arms are around you." Wait a minute…what? I groaned, feeling kind of like a pussy and slightly angry at myself for letting Hunter see me like that, even if I wasn't aware. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." He said before yawning. "So what did he do?"
"Nothing." I said rolling on my side and facing away from him. "Go to your bed."
"No, I'm good here." He said placing his arm over me and moving closer. It felt weird; normally I would only allow Blaine to do that. Yet somehow, it was nice.
Hunter had only been at Dalton for a year, yet he was one of my best friends. What if Hunter went with me to London? We could have an apartment together and that way I wouldn't be alone. Hunter never mentioned his family or moving back to where ever the hell he was from. He could definitely get into a good school, and we could just do us over there. No Sebastian. Why not? You know what that would do to Blaine if you leave with Hunter of all people. Well, he shouldn't care. He's with Kurt now anyways. He never said that. Why don't you see if Blaine will go with you to London? Blaine is too much of a lovable person. That's why. He wouldn't be happy in London; he'd miss his family and friends and they would miss him. I wouldn't ask him to do that for me. But Hunter…
"Hunter?" I asked, wondering if he had fallen back asleep. It was still only 8 in the morning.
"Hmm?" He said, still half asleep.
"What're you doing next year?"
"What do you mean?" He said, his voice groggy and husky.
"With school and what not."
Hunter rustled slightly before settling back in a position he liked. "Well, I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. Why?"
"W-" I was interrupted by someone slamming the door open.
"Sebastian!" Nick and Jeff yelled together walking into the room. "Oh…sorry." Jeff said staring at both of us.
"It's not like that guys." I said, not really caring that I was basically the little spoon to Hunter.
"I knew you two were hooking up. What's it like having sex with your co-captain?" Nick asked. I raised an eyebrow, even though I wasn't facing Nick. What did that even mean?
"I don't know, want to try it out for yourself." I said turning my head to wink at him. I smirked when he turned red. He wasn't gay, but it was fun to mess with him.
"What do you guys want?" Hunter asked irritated.
"Headmaster wants to see you Sebastian." Jeff said. I instantly tensed up. What did he want with me? I hadn't done anything wrong…
"Yeah, he told us to come get you." Nick said standing up from where he was sitting on the desk.
"Crap." I mumbled before getting up, eliciting a groan from Hunter. I quickly threw on some clothes before I headed to the head master's office.
"Head master. You wanted to see me?" I said walking into his office.
"Sebastian, sit." I sat down and waited for him to start again. "I'm surprised you came here last night." He said looking at his computer.
"What do you mean?"
"Your father sent a letter saying that you wouldn't be living on campus anymore." I stared at him, confused as to what was going on.
"Excuse me?"
The head master looked at me with an equally confused look. "He said you would be living at home." I could feel my heart racing. Something about this didn't feel right.
"Oh, that's right." I said standing up. "I just stayed the night as a guest. I'll be making my way." I said running towards my room. Did my father want me to move back home? Was he even here?
"What's wrong?" Hunter asked when I walked into the room to find my keys.
"Nothing, I'll be back later." I said leaving again.
"Where are you going?" Hunter yelled as I was walking away.
"Home." I said not turning to look at him.
When I arrived home, I was surprised when no one answered the door. Well, not really surprised, but I thought Maria would be there. I tried using my key, but for some reason they weren't working. Suddenly, the door was opened.
"Maria! Hi, is my father here?" Maria looked distraught. She placed her hand on the doorframe, blocking me from entering the house. "Maria?" I asked stepping back.
"I'm so sorry Mr. Smythe." She said, tears streaming down her face. Was my father okay? What was going on? Maria handed me a piece of paper before closing the door. I could hear her sobbing on the other side.
When I opened the note, I felt my heart drop.
Sebastian,
You have embarrassed the Smythe name for the last time. How could you allow someone to find out you were my son? Do you have any idea what this will do to my image? You are no longer a son of mine.
Your stuff is in your car; this is no longer your home. Neither is Dalton Academy. You will finish school and leave at the end of the academic year. Until then, find somewhere else to live.
I didn't understand. What did he mean? What did I do?
A silent teardrop fell from my cheek and landed on the paper. I punched the door, instantly knowing that I had just broken my hand. Disowned. I was disowned.
"Dude, your restless leg syndrome is totally annoying the crap out of me." Sam said. I had been bouncy all day.
"He's going in any minute now Sam." I said staring at the clock on the wall. This day needed to end; all I wanted was to make my way to the hospital. If it wasn't for the fact that I had two exams, I would have skipped. "What kind of brother am I? I should be with Cooper."
"Even if you were there Blaine, you wouldn't me doing much." Britt said. She had a point. I sighed, running my hand through my hair. Sebastian was supposed to pick me up after school, but he hadn't answered my text.
When the bell rang, we all got up to make our way to lunch. I shook my head when Sam handed me a tray. "Aren't you going to eat?" He said furrowing his eyebrow.
"I'm not hungry." I said. My mind wasn't really with me today; it was everywhere but here.
"Shut up." He said placing double of everything on his tray. "You're eating, even if I have to shove it down your throat." He said handing the cashier money.
"Hey guys!" Tina said waving at us as we walked closer to where the glee club was sitting. Britt ran up to hug her before sitting next to her.
"Hi Blaine!"
"Hey Marley, how are you?" I asked sitting down across from Sam and next to Marley.
"I'm good…so," I was too distracted to really listen to what everyone was saying. Cooper was in surgery. Sebastian and I were okay, but obviously everything was tense. Kurt insisted on seeing me as much as he could. Everything was just crashing in on me.
Hi Blaine! He just went in. He told me to tell you he loves you and he'll see you in a few hours. –Julie
Thank you Julie! I'll be there as soon as I can. -Blaine
Take your time. Hope you have a good day at school. –Julie
When the final bell rang, I was at a loss. No one would be able to drive me to the hospital, and having to take the bus home to then get my car would be the biggest waste of time.
"What now?" Sam asked when I groaned.
"I have no way of getting to Cooper." I said closing my locker.
"I can give you a ride. I'll stay with you if you'd like." Sam said placing his arm over my shoulder.
"Really?" I asked, smiling from ear to ear. He nodded and smiled as we walked towards his car.
When we got to the hospital, I walked into the waiting room to find Julie and my parents.
"Hey guys." I said hugging them all.
"Julie, this is Sam." I said looking at the blonde. I rolled my eyes at how dumb he looked; his mouth was opened as if he was about to speak and his eyes were wide.
"H-Hi." He said before turning to me. He mouthed 'she's so hot.' Before greeting my parents.
"Have the doctors said anything?" I asked, getting a headshake from everyone. I brought over two chairs so that Sam and I could sit. My mom looked terrified and my dad's expression was hard. Even Julie, who had been one of my biggest supports throughout this ordeal, seemed nervous. I grabbed her hand and smiled.
"You can leave if you'd like." I said to Sam after an hour and a half of waiting with no news.
"I'll stay." He said pulling out his homework. "Get out your math notebook. I'll have to teach you everything that you didn't actually listen to today."
"You guys look exhausted, why don't you go get some food?" I said looking at them.
"We can't leave." My mom said.
"I'll let you guys know if anything comes up. Take a rest. I'll stay here with Sam." I said smiling at them.
"Call us if anything." My dad said messing with my hair. Julie got up to follow them. Sam was going over everything, explaining how to graph a function or whatever it was that we were learning.
"Hey guys." Kurt said walking towards us with flowers.
"Kurt? What're you doing here?" I asked looking at Sam, who shared an equally confused look.
"My boyfriend's brother is in surgery and you thought I wouldn't be here to support him?" He said before sitting down next to me.
"Boyfriend?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow at me. I shook my head. "I'll be right back." He said standing up before leaving.
"So, anything new?" Kurt asked crossing his legs and opening a magazine.
"No, not yet." I said putting away my math book.
"Is anyone here for Cooper Anderson?" A doctor asked walking over to us in scrubs and a lab coat.
"Hi! I'm his brother, is everything okay?" I said standing up. I felt sick.
"Cooper is doing perfect. He'll be transferred to a room soon. The surgery went smoothly, but he'll be in a haze for a while." I couldn't help but tear up and pull the doctor in a hug.
"Thank you so much." I said as I let go.
"I'll come inform you when you can see him." He said smiling and placing his hand on my shoulder.
"Blaine!" Kurt said hugging me. "I knew it'd be okay!" Kurt pulled away. What I didn't expect was Kurt pressing his lips into mine.
"Sebastian!" I turned around to see Sam walking over to me.
"Hey Sam." I said putting out my fist. He had finally grown on me. "What're you doing here?"
"I'm here with Blaine." He said showing me where to go. "Dude, what happened to your wrist?" I was kicked out of my home and disowned, and I punched a wall and broke my hand, it's not big deal.
"Hurt it during Warblers practice." I said looking away from him.
"Listen, I have to ask you something about Bla-" Sam looked at me when I stopped in my tracks. I could feel my knuckles turning white; my mind was racing. I was furious. Calm down Sebastian, don't waste your good hand on this kid.
I realized then what it was Sam wanted to tell me. Kurt and Blaine. Kissing. What else do you want to throw on me God? You take away my home. You bring back Kurt. You take away Blaine. What's next? How could anything get any fucking worse? No, wait. Knowing my luck I'll get hit my a car on my way out.
"Tell Cooper I was here." I said handing him the edible arrangement I brought him with a 'get well soon' balloon.
"And Blaine?" Sam asked. I ignored him and kept walking.
I didn't know how or when I got to the Lima Bean. It seemed like I always ended up there.
"Hey Sebastian." John said walking over to me and handing me a drink.
"What's this for?" I asked looking at the coffee.
"You've been here for hours, and unless you're drinking coffee, my manager is going to think you're soliciting and I'll have to kick you out." He said smiling before taking the cup to his lips. I sighed before taking a sip of the coffee.
"How did you know caramel latte was my favorite?"
"Cause it's mine." He said smiling. "I knew I remembered you." I raised an eyebrow. "That night at Scandals. You told me you loved me." He said crossing his legs and leaning back in his chair.
"Gotta love what alcohol does to a person." Now he remembers? God, you are so funny.
"Did you mean it?" He said staring at me.
"What? I don't know. That was a long time ago." I said standing up. "I should go."
"Wait." He said grabbing my hand. "The reason I came over here was because my manager asked me if I knew you."
"Why?"
"Well, we've seen you perform a number of times, and I told him about how much of a legend you are at Dalton. We want to offer you a job." Now that he mentioned it, didn't I need one of those? Now that I was Sebastian with no last name? "We'd like you to perform here. A paid job."
"Really?" I asked. This was kind of new to me. I'd never had a job before, and I didn't really know how this worked. Well, at least this was one thing I didn't have to worry about. Maybe if I made enough money I wouldn't have to live out of my car. So this is what it felt like to be poor.
"Yup, come to the back so you can talk to him." John grabbed my hand and brought me towards the office.
"These are from Sebastian." Sam said handing the edible arrangement to Cooper. Everyone turned to look at Sam. When did Sebastian come?
"Sebastian was here?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows. "When?"
"It was a short while ago." Sam said looking at his watch.
Cooper was still slightly loopy from the drugs, but he could function. "Where did my other little brother go?" Cooper said looking at Julie, who shrugged and kissed his forehead. I caught the look Kurt gave me, confused as to why Cooper had called Sebastian his other little brother.
"Sebastian left?" My dad asked.
"Why didn't he stay?" My mom added.
"He got called back to Dalton." Sam said, but I had a feeling that he was lying.
Where are you? –Blaine
I knew he wouldn't answer, but it was worth a try.
Do you know where Sebastian is? -Blaine
No sorry, haven't seen him since yesterday. Not since he packed his bags and left. -Hunter
How's your brother by the way? -Hunter
What're you talking about left? To where? and he's okay! Thanks for asking. -Blaine
I spent the entire day with the family. Sam and Kurt went their own ways shortly after Cooper woke up. "This feels weird." Cooper said.
"Are you in pain?" I said standing up. "I'll tell the nurse."
"No. It's not that. It's weird that Sebastian isn't here." He said laughing. "I got used to seeing him everyday." Yeah, so did I. Cooper pulled out his phone and dialed a number before putting it to his ear.
"Hello?...Hey, it's Cooper...No, I'm doing fine! Thank you for the edible arrangements, pineapple and mango are my favorites...yeah, he got it from me...I'm alright, I'll be here overnight. But listen, why didn't you stay?...I'm not stupid, you realize that right? Even on drugs I know when you're lying...no they just went down to get snacks...hold on, are you serious?...Oh, he's back do you want to talk to him?...okay I'll see you soon then. If you don't come tomorrow I won't forgive you...alright, bye Sebby."
"What happened?" I asked as soon as he was off the phone. Cooper gave me a look, but I figured I already knew why.
"He says hello to all of you." Cooper said looking at my parents and Julie.
"Blaine, I'll drive you home." My dad said standing up.
"What? Why, I don't want to leave."
"You have school tomorrow, and I'm sure you have homework. Cooper will be here tomorrow as well, so you can come back then."
"Can I spend the night with Cooper?" I asked. For some reason I really needed my brother right now. Maybe he had the answers I was looking for.
"Julie is staying the night with him." My mom said.
"No, it's totally fine. I don't have a problem if Blaine wants to spend the night with Coop." Julie said taking my hand.
"Come here squirt." Cooper said lifting himself up.
"Cooper!" Everyone said at once. He wasn't supposed to be moving much, especially not on his own.
"Don't worry. I'm so doped up right now I don't even know where we are." He said laughing. He patted the spot next to him so that I could lie down.
"That's really not necessary Coop. I can sit on the chair." I said not wanting Cooper to go out of his way for me. I was supposed to take care of him, yet here he was worrying about me.
"Good thing no one asked you." He said rolling his eyes. "Everyone say goodbye, it's time for the Anderson brother's to cause some trouble." After a scolding from mom and a playful messing of the hair from dad, Cooper brought Julie in for a kiss. "Bye Hun. Stay pretty."
"Take care of this one Blaine." Julie said hugging me tightly. "It's sad that the little brother has to take care of his older, immature brother." She said glaring at Coop.
"Hey, I'm sick!" Cooper said smiling.
"Not anymore." Julie said with a look of relief and happiness. "Bye Blaine." She waved before she joined by parents at the door to leave. I lied down, resting my head on Cooper's arm that was extended on top of the pillow.
"So, what's up?" Cooper asked.
"Nothing." Cooper turned his head to look at me. Cooper and I sat there staring at the ceiling, taking in all the sounds and lights all around us. "I'm not stupid B."
"You should rest." I said standing up. "Do you need water or anything?" I asked.
"No, I'm good." I walked into the bathroom, not really to do anything, but more just to think and relax before going back out. I looked myself in the mirror, and for the first time in my life I felt like I didn't recognize who I was. How could I do that to Sebastian?
I walked back out and lied down again. "Penny for your thoughts." Cooper said after a while.
"I don't know what to do." I said closing my eyes.
"About what?" He said not looking away from the ceiling.
"Kurt. You. College. The future. Nationals. Sebastian. Everything."
"The way I see it, don't worry about the future because it will come one step at a time. Nationals is in the bag with you as their lead vocalist. You don't have to worry about me, and you still have time to look into school. When you decided, just apply and wait. All that leaves is Sebastian and Kurt." He said turning his head. "Which is the only thing really bothering you."
I sighed. "Coop, I'm at a crossroad. Sebastian didn't say he was ending things with me but that he was letting me go so that I could find happiness in Kurt again. Which is all my fault for letting Kurt stay the night and talk me back into thinking about him and reconsidering my relationship with him."
"And the kiss." Cooper said. Crap. I knew Sebastian told Coop that he saw the kiss. How was I supposed to explain the kiss to him? It's like every time we're back on track something makes us slip.
"See? Why can't everything just go smoothly? It's not fair. Can't I just be happy with him? Why does he have to leave?" I was exasperated. I was tired of praying, wishing, hoping that someway Sebastian and I could be together.
"You realize that there is no competition here."
"What do you mean?" I said looking at him.
"You want to be with Sebastian. That simple. You're using Kurt as a net to catch you if you fall. Which isn't really fair to him either. You love Sebastian. It's that simple."
"It's not simple though. I know it's pointless. He's leaving eventually, and I'll still be here. I've had two boyfriends, and both of them have left me behind. And I know whoever I choose will end up with the other one being hurt. It sucks."
"Blaine. I love you, you know that, but you have this insane need to want to please everyone. You need to make sure that you're happy first; everyone else comes second. Make it happen Blaine. If you truly care for Sebastian you would do whatever it takes. Sebastian seemed pretty beat up about the kiss. He sounded upset. I think the two of you should take your heads out of your asses pronto and just get to the happy part of your relationship."
"I wish." I said with a sigh. "I love Kurt, I really do, but I know that now he's my rebound. I'm a jerk. I really am. I cheated on Kurt and then I basically cheated on Sebastian. What else could go wrong?" I said sitting up.
"I want you to learn one thing from this whole thing Blaine." Cooper said. "Hold those you care about the most closest to you. You never know when it'll be too late."
"I know." I said lying back down.
"You know I'm always here for you right? You're not just my brother, you're my friend." He said messing with my hair.
"That's all I ever wanted." I said smiling up at him. Somehow, Cooper had solidified what I needed so much to hear.
"You know what we should do?" Coopers face lit up. He was such a child sometimes. "Let's pretend I'm dead and freak the nurses and doctors out."
"Cooper!" I said punching him in his arm. "That's not funny."
"It got you to smile didn't it?" He said laughing.
"Well, you being okay now is pretty much the only thing that's going well right now."
"The Blaine Anderson I know is always optimistic." Coop said looking at me. "Don't lose that. Besides, there is always someone out there who has it worse than you." The only person I could think about was Sebastian. My Sebastian.