Chapter 37: Haven't Had Enough
Waking up with a pillow to the face isn't exactly how I imagined getting up.
"Cooper." I groaned covering my face. "Leave me alone."
"Get up sleeping beauty, we have guests." I looked at Cooper who winked at me in return. Guests? I didn't know anyone would be coming today. Before I could even ask, Cooper was already out the door.
I put on a robe, not caring enough to change and shower just yet. "Good morning." I said walking into the kitchen where everyone was busy getting everything ready for breakfast.
"Morning!" They all said together. I stopped when I saw a tall, lean figure closing the fridge.
"Sebastian?" I could tell that my voice sounded surprised, but I was, so whatever. I walked up to him and pulled him into a hug, instantly turning red realizing I had impulsively thrown myself at him.
"Hey Killer." He said letting me go and handing Cooper orange juice. It was weird; it felt as if I was the odd one out right now. Sebastian on the other hand seemed comfortable with everyone, doing his part in setting things up. "How did you sleep?"
"Good." I said somewhat absentmindedly. "When did you get here?" I saw Sebastian look at my dad before looking down at his plate.
"This morning." My dad said. It surprised me that it was my dad who answered instead of Sebastian. "Come sit." He said pulling out a chair next to Sebastian.
Mom and Julie brought over the last few things before sitting down and eating. "Dig in boys." Julie said placing down a bowl.
At that moment, everything felt perfect. Sitting here with the family, enjoying each other's company. Even Sebastian seemed to be having a good time. It was funny. A year ago, I would have never introduced Sebastian to my family, yet here he is already an integrated member. It's crazy to think how things change.
"So are you still coming with me to my appointment?" Cooper asked Sebastian.
"Definitely. I have the day off so I'll drive here and we can go."
"You guys are going to the appointment together?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "Thanks, not like I wanted to come." I hope the sarcasm was as thick as I intended it to be.
"Sorry squirt." He said throwing a blue berry at me. "You'll have to sit this one out."
"If you want to take my place that's completely fine." Sebastian said looking over at me with a smile on his face.
"No, it's okay." I really didn't mind. It was nice that my brother and Sebastian were so close. "I'll spend the day with Julie." I said smiling at her.
"It's a date!" Julie said smiling at me.
"Let's meet up after and we can all go to dinner and a movie?" I side glanced at Sebastian not really sure what he would say.
"I…I can't." Dad looked at him as Sebastian said it. Something was up. "Don't get me wrong, I want to." Sebastian said after looking over at me, probably realizing I looked upset. Crap.
After breakfast, I asked Sebastian to come upstairs with me, seeing as he wasn't catching on to any of my hints.
"I can't shake this feeling." I said sitting at my desk.
"What feeling?" He asked lying down on my bed.
"This feels weird now. We were never like this. This…awkward." I said turning my chair to look at him.
"Nothings different B." He said propping himself up on his elbow. "We were friends before Kurt came back, and we're friends after. Nothing has changed." Something told me he was lying, but I didn't want to push anything on him. I learned that early on.
"How was your date with John?" Sebastian tensed slightly before quickly relaxing and putting on a half smile.
"It was alright." That's it? Just alright? What did you guys do? More importantly, did you guys have sex? Breathe Blaine! "Be right back." Sebastian said standing up and walking into the bathroom.
As if it were calling my name, my eyes came across his phone sitting there on the bed. I knew it was messed up of me to betray his trust, but I wanted to see what he did last night. I came across his phone calls and saw my dad's number show up. The call was made at 4 in the morning? I knew something was up. I already felt guilty, but I had to know what they did last night.
Please forgive me. I don't know what came over me. It's just…when I'm with you I go crazy. –John
Can you at least tell me if you're okay? Where are you? Are you safe? –John
Sebastian…please I'm sorry. Just tell me if you're okay. –John
I'm fine. –Sebastian
Are you mad at me? –John
I ended up in the hospital last night John. After the police saw me struggling to make my way to my house. You drugged me, and you expect me to not be mad? –Sebastian
Why didn't you call me? Seb, I really am sorry. Let me make it up to you. I promise I won't be that stupid ever again. –John
Maybe you can get back those feelings you had at Scandals that one night when we first met… -John
We can talk about this later. –Sebastian
Hold on. Sebastian was arrested? And taken to the hospital? John drugged him? What the hell? I dropped the phone and pretended nothing was wrong when Sebastian came back into the room.
"Get up." He said, a playful look on his face. I couldn't stop the smile that crept onto my face. "Let's dance." Sebastian extended his hand and grabbed mine.
"There's no music on." I said, pretending I didn't want to dance with him, but deep inside I would do anything to be closer to him.
"Well, lucky for you someone very special to me gave me this." Sebastian pulled out the green iPod I gave him for Christmas. Sebastian walked over and plugged it in.
(Sebastian and Blaine)
Testing, testing, I'm just suggesting
You and I might not be the best thing
Exit, exit, somehow I guessed it right, right
But I still want ya, want ya, don't mean to taunt ya
If you leave now, I'll come back and haunt ya
You'll remember, return to sender now, now
Well I just wish we could go back one more time and begin it
Back before I lost myself somewhere, somewhere in it
Been stuck now, so long, we just got the start wrong
One more last try, Imma get the ending right
You can't stop this, and I must insist
That you haven't had enough, you haven't had enough
Stuck now, so long, we just got the start wrong
No more last place, you better get your story straight
You can't stop this, and I must insist
That you haven't had enough, you haven't had enough
I still need ya, need ya, don't mean to tease ya
If ya want me, I'll come back and meet ya
Whisper, whisper, you must admit you want it
You, you want it
Well I just wish we could go back one more time and begin it
Back before I lost myself somewhere, somewhere in it
I've been stuck now, so long, we just got the start wrong
One more last try, Imma get the ending right
You can't stop this, and I must insist
That you haven't had enough, you haven't had enough
Stuck now, so long, we just got the start wrong
No more last place, you better get your story straight
You can't stop this, and I must insist
That you haven't had enough, you haven't had enough
Don't you need it?
Don't you want this at all?
(Testing, testing, I'm just suggesting)
Don't you need it?
Don't you want this at all?
(Testing, testing, I'm just suggesting)
Stuck now, so long, we just got the start wrong
One more last try, Imma get the ending right
You can't stop this, and I must insist
That you haven't had enough, you haven't had enough
Stuck now, so long, we just got the start wrong
No more last place, you better get your story straight
You can't stop this (Don't you need it?)
And I must insist
That you haven't had enough, you haven't had enough (Don't you want this all?)
Testing, Testing, I'm just suggesting
You and I might just be the best thing
The entire song was spent playfully dancing and flirting; it reminded me of the time I was dancing with Sebastian when we first went to Scandals.
"What has you in such a good mood?" The music was playing in the background as we continued dancing.
"Well," Sebastian said getting closer and dancing around me "I felt like dancing. But, if we're being completely honest, I just wanted to see that amazing ass of yours move." Sebastian winked at me; I rolled my eyes, of course that's why.
"It must suck." I said pushing myself against him.
"What?" He said with a smirk.
"Being able to look and not touch." I whispered into his ear before pushing him away.
"Oh really?" Sebastian said pulling me into him and leaning down. "Tell me to kiss you." He breathed out, centimeters from my lips, looking at me with eyes that absolutely mesmerized me.
"What if I don't want you to kiss me?" I said putting on an innocent smile. Sebastian crashed his lips into mine. Sebastian pushed me down onto the bed and climbed on top of me; his hands roaming under my shirt and his tongue exploring my mouth. It didn't hit me until right now how badly I had wanted this since the last time we kissed at the dance.
When we were out of breathe and our lips were swollen, Sebastian rolled off of me and laughed. "So, you didn't want that?" He said smirking.
"If I say no will you believe me?" I said turning my head to look at him.
"Probably not." He said laughing and throwing a pillow at my face. I climbed on top of him and started tickling him in all the spots I knew would make him laugh uncontrollably.
"B!" He said in between laughs. "S-stop!" Sebastian tried to get me off of him but I wouldn't budge.
"Ask me to kiss you and I'll stop." I said pinning his hands down by his wrists.
"Nope." He said pressing his lips together.
"You asked for it." I said with a devilish smile.
"Okay! O-okay! Kiss me!" He said after getting tickled some more. I don't even think other people knew he was ticklish.
"Let it be known that Sebastian Smythe asked me to kiss him, and not the other way around." I said leaning my head to suck on his lip. I grabbed his face and pressed my lips into his, sending me into another frenzy.
And just like that, I was on my back. "This is what I call revenge." Sebastian grinded his semi hard-on against me, instantly making me blush. He pinned my hands above my head while using his free hand to unbutton my pajamas.
"Seb, we can't. Everyone's downstairs." I whispered, trying to push him off of me only half-heartedly, because I sure as hell didn't want him to leave the position he was in.
"Then don't be loud." He said nibbling on my ear; a moan escaping my mouth.
"Seb-" I started before gasping when I felt his hand grip my length.
Sebastian jumped off of me when a knock came at the door. "Come in!" I said sitting up and trying to collect myself.
"Hey boys." My dad said opening the door. "Sebastian, can I speak to you?"
"Dad…" I said raising an eyebrow. What was he going to tell Sebastian? Please don't say he was going to get the talk…we didn't need it; we were already used to each other and comfortable enough. Besides, we weren't even dating!
I turned a deep shade of red when I saw my dad's eyes go wide. I covered the tent forming in my pants with a pillow before covering my face. This wasn't happening. I threw myself backwards, trying to wake myself up from this nightmare of my dad almost catching us in the act and then seeing the effects Sebastian had on me.
"Yes sir." Sebastian said trying not to laugh and walking out of the room.
"If you're going to be living here don't we need to think of an excuse to tell Blaine?" Mr. Anderson said sitting down on the couch in his office. "We haven't even told him yet."
"I was thinking about that all last night." I said sitting down next to him. "I really appreciate the offer sir, but I don't want to make Blaine uncomfortable by moving in."
"Why would that make him uncomfortable? You know he loves you, as much as he tries to deny it and you two pretend to not be dating." He said with a small laugh.
"It's not that, I just really don't want Blaine to see me like this. I went from being on top to being nothing. I didn't deserve Blaine when I was worth something, but now that I'm worthless, I deserve him that much less. I could provide anything for Blaine when I still lived with my father, but now I can't. I could give him everything he wanted, and now I have nothing to offer. I can't go on a double date tomorrow because I don't have money to pay for his movie ticket or food. I can't buy him expensive gifts anymore. I can't take him to places he's never been to. I can't give him everything he wants. I can't even invite him over to my place because that would mean getting in my car." I rested my head in my hands covering my face. I was literally nothing. I was worthless. Useless. "Out of everybody, I never thought that I would be the one ending up as the Lima loser. But I don't care. I'm used to life turning it's back on me. The only reason I told myself 'maybe you do deserve Blaine' is because I knew that I would provide everything he would ever want. I could give him everything without hesitating. I could make him happy. But now I can't even provide the simplest of things."
"Sebastian." Mr. Anderson said placing his hand on my back. "If you think that Blaine can only be happy if you buy him expensive things and take him to fancy places, then you're sadly mistaken. You should know Blaine loves you for who you are, not for what you have. And I don't want you speaking like that. You are not worthless Sebastian. Do you even realize the potential you have?"
"That's what I thought too." I said standing up and pacing the floor. "But what if we get married? I can't buy him a nice house or provide for a family. I'm technically not even a Smythe anymore. I was an idiot for thinking that somehow, my last name would pave the road for the rest of my life. I thought that I would marry Blaine and share my last name with Blaine and our kids, and that I would die happy knowing that my last name and wealth would provide everything our kids would ever need. Even if I couldn't be his ideal guy, I at least knew that the kids and Blaine could feel safe and secure having Smythe as a last name. Yet look where I ended up. Homeless, poor, and alone. That's why I thought Kurt coming back to Lima for the week was God's twisted way of sending me a life raft. I thought, 'maybe I can't provide these things for Blaine, but Kurt can. Maybe God sent Kurt to Blaine to help ease my pain of not being able to be the man that Blaine deserves'. But instead it killed me seeing that they were restarting their relationship."
As soon as I was done with my rant, I stopped dead in my tracks. I had just admitted to Blaine's father that I fully intended on marrying and starting a family with his son. It even felt weird thinking about it; this was something I never imagined myself feeling, let alone saying out loud. I never really knew when the change happened; when I went from living young and wild and free to thinking about the future and the life I would provide for my significant other. For Blaine. Maybe I knew at some subconscious level since the moment I first laid eyes on him. He would be mine. Forever. It was that easy.
But then life happened and everything shattered.
I felt my heart drop when I heard someone move at the door. Fuck. Please tell me it wasn't Blaine who had overheard.
"Do you want to know how I know you love our son?" Mrs. Anderson said walking inside and over to me. "This entire time, you haven't complained about how difficult everything has been for you. The only thing you have worried about is not being able to be the man Blaine needs." Mrs. Anderson pulled me into a hug. "Being in love means that you accept the fact your feelings, your life, your body, everything comes second to making sure the person you are in love with is happy." She pulled away from me with tears in her eyes. "That's how I know you love my son. And until you have your own kids, you will not understand how happy it makes me to know that Blaine was blessed with such an incredible man."
"Mrs. Anderson…I…" I started, not that I knew where I was going with my sentence anyways.
"We're having the basement completely redone so that it can be made into a guest bedroom. We want you to live here with us."
"I can't." It was kind of them to say these things to me, but just because someone else told me these things didn't mean that I would believe them. "It means so much that you would be willing to take me in, but I don't have anything to offer as compensation."
"Sebastian. We understand your mindset because we know what background you come from, but that's not what life is about. If you think that a person's worth is measured by their wealth and social status, then you won't find the beauty in life. Life isn't about what you can or can't buy, it's about what you have and appreciating it."
"You must think I'm disgusting for thinking this way." I said sighing. "I appreciate it. But I'll have to think about it."
"Of course we don't. That's understandable. But where are you staying until you make a decision?" Mrs. Anderson asked.
"My car. It's not that bad." I said laughing.
Mr. Anderson handed me some cash. "What's that for?"
"So that you can get a hotel for a few nights until you make a decision. and so that you can go on the double date."
I shook my head. "I can't accept that. I can't take your money to take your own son on a date."
"The fact that he's my son is precisely why you should take the money. Don't think of this as me lending you money or pitying you, think of this as me investing into the happiness of Blaine. I'm doing this for him, not for you." Mr. Anderson smiled as he tried handing me the money, but I couldn't accept it.
"I don't like accepting things from people because then I feel like I owe them." I smiled, not wanting to offend them. "I'll find money somehow. I will be taking Blaine on that double date though. With your permission of course." They both smiled at me before I excused myself and walked out of his office.
I closed the door and rested against it, composing myself before I had to make Blaine believe that everything was perfectly fine.
"He's such a wonderful person." I heard Mrs. Anderson say.
"I just wish that he would have grown up knowing the love of a parent. Maybe that way he wouldn't have suffered the way he has." Mr. Anderson said.
"Maybe we can…" but before I could finish making out what they were saying, I saw Blaine walk out of his room.
"I was about to send out a search team." He said smiling at me. "Thought my dad killed you or something."
"Nope. I'm still standing." I said smiling and pulling him into a hug. I'm guessing he was surprised judging from the moment it took before he wrapped his arms around me. I let go of him and brought him to his room. "So, where were we?" I said winking at him and sitting on his desk.
"Can I ask you a question? But you have to promise not to get mad." Crap. He probably overheard the conversation I had with his parents.
"Shoot." I said, pretending I wasn't anxious as to what he was about to say.
"I read the messages between you and John." Oh yeah, I still had to explain that to him.
"It was... uh, a long night. Let's just say I ended up at the hospital and called your dad to pick me up. I didn't know who else to turn to."
"Why didn't you call me?" Blaine looked hurt, and that is the one thing I didn't want to see.
"I didn't want to wake you up. God knows you need your beauty sleep." I said laughing. Blaine pouted and picked up a pillow. "You know I'll dodge that." I said smirking.
"That was mean. I deserve to throw this at your face. Maybe it'll fix it a little bit."
"Fine. Go for it." I said standing up and extending my arms, preparing myself for the hit. I groaned when the pillow hit me square in the balls and caused me to practically keel over in pain. "Cheater!" I said, but I doubt he heard me over his laughter. "I'm glad you find this amusing." I said jumping on top of him.
"I'm not the kind of person to laugh at someone's pain Sebby, you know that." Blaine was asking for it.
"Unfortunately, I have to go. But, I'll see you Monday. Oh, and make sure you look cute as ever."
"Why?" He asked raising an eyebrow.
"Well, I'm not going with Cooper and Julie on a double date with someone who isn't absolutely adorable. So make sure to look sexy." I said winking at him. "Actually, you should just go naked."
"Does that mean…" I loved seeing the look of amusement that came on his face whenever I surprised him.
"I'll pick you up at 8." I said leaning down so my lips were centimeters from his. "Ask me for a kiss."
"Kiss me." Well, he wasn't playful like before, but I liked it. His aggressive side was a major turn on.
I lightly brushed his lips with mine before smirking. "Nope." I said laughing and sitting on him.
"What...why not!" Blaine put on his puppy dog eyes and that signature pout when he wanted to get his way.
"Because of what you did. Karma my friend." I said winking at him. "Aw, you look cute when you're mad."
"Then I'm about to get really fucking adorable." Blaine leaned up to kiss me but I backed away. I stuck out my tongue before rolling off of him and running out of his room.
"I hate you!" Blaine yelled.
"Love you more." I yelled from the bottom of the stairs. I said goodbye to Cooper and Julie before making my way out.
As per usual, I stopped by the Lima Bean to get a coffee. Lucky for me I got the employee discount. I literally shuttered when I thought about getting whatever discount I could get. Definitely not something I do.
Don't tell Blaine I'm telling you this because he'll kill me, but he ran down the second you left to tell us that the double date was on. To say that he just pulled a schoolgirl move would be an understatement. –Cooper
I couldn't help but laugh out loud in the middle of the coffee shop. It made me happy to know that Blaine was happy.
Don't blame me if he comes down any minute now to kick your ass ;) –Sebastian
You wouldn't dare. –Cooper
Oh? Try me. –Sebastian
You are evil incarnate. –Cooper
Thank you. I try. –Sebastian
"Well if it isn't the smoothest criminal I know." I turned around to see Santana smirking behind me.
"Satan!" I said turning around to look at her.
"Let's catch up." She said looping her arm with mine and pulling me towards a table.
"Let's." I said laughing, not that I even had a choice.