Subject: Edward Cullen aka the Womanizer
Chapter Twenty-Eight – Gifts
For a brief moment, Jordan looked as if he wanted to take a swing at me. Not that I blamed him, I wasn't being particularly nice at the moment. Plus, I had knocked up his sister; I was positive that was how he saw it. Did I forget to mention that I also left her?
"Fuck, Cullen," he muttered. "I'm in no mood to deal with this kind of shit right now. Julie's fucking pissed at me. Jacob and Nessie are too, that they're not even coming for Christmas dinner. I can't handle more crap."
"Are you referring to your sister as crap?" I seethed. His eyes widened, taking in my stance and fisted hands.
"No! No, I mean this whole fucking situation." Jordan cursed and ran his hands through his hair.
"Why, Jordan? Why did you leave her?"
Jordan sighed and rolled passed me into the living room. Julie and Jacob sat on a sectional across the room, watching the exchange between Jordan and me.
"Have a seat, Edward," he said. At least he was hospitable.
"What are you doing here, Jacob?" Jordan asked, taking center stage in the middle of the room.
"I'm here with, Cullen. To help get your ass to Bella's," Jacob said, shrugging his shoulders with a big dopey grin on his face. Julie tried to stifle a laugh but didn't manage it. The ass seemed to enjoy that he was free to be a little mean toward Jordan. What was the saying? Payback's a bitch.
Jordan's head whipped toward her and glared at Julie for laughter. She glared back and cocked an eyebrow in question or even ire. She gave him "the look." It was the look that if you were to stare at it long enough, your balls might shrivel up and fall off. That look – men don't have a look like that. It wasn't fair.
I'd only earned that dark gaze a few times from Bella, hence why I know the couch pulls out in our living room. I cleared my throat, bringing Jordan's attention back to me.
"Why, Jordan?" I asked.
"First, you tell me why you left, asshole." I shook my head while Julie hissed his name.
"Well, the main reason was because I was angry. I had no idea what was real and what wasn't. I couldn't take her word for it since she lied to me from the beginning. I was scared too, scared that I already lost her."
I arose to my feet, walking toward the fireplace. On the mantel were dozens of pictures of Bella, her brother, and her parents. There was one picture of Bella taken, just before I met her all those years ago. Her face was pressed up against another girl who had braces, glasses, and short frizzy hair.
"I had to leave, Edward. I fucked up most of her life."
I turned toward him and who held a framed picture of Bella. "If I hadn't been such an asshole during high school, she would've had more friends." I looked at Jacob, who just shrugged in confusion.
"Most girls wouldn't give Bella the time of day because I had pissed them off. Those that I hadn't fucked yet tried to go through her to get to me. She hadn't trusted anyone but Brianna. I ruined any chance of her getting dates in high school. It wasn't because she was plain like she says, but because I'd kick any guy's ass for looking in her direction. Speaking from experience, I knew that high school assholes only wanted one thing, to get in her pants. She had no idea the extent of how many guys I had to scare away. In reality, I was protecting her from assholes like me." He replaced her photograph on an end table.
"The thing is I never really protected her. I made it worse. She's been with these assholes for so long. How do you expect me to take it? I'm fucking pissed, not at Bella, but at myself. She put her whole life on hold to help others like me."
"Jordan, I can understand why you'd see it that way. And it's true," I said, shrugging my shoulders.
"Umm…thanks, asshole. I feel so much better," Jordan hissed through gritted teeth.
"You want me to paint you a pretty picture," I said with a roll of my eyes. "That's not going to happen. Between what you and Bella have gone through, there is no way to paint it to look anything but devastating. There has been too much pain on both your parts. Do you think if you'd have known sooner about what she was doing, that you could've change her mind? Stop her?"
Jordan shook his head. "Fuck, no. I know my sister. Since she was able to walk and talk, it was integrated in her head to do all you can to help others. My mother drilled it into our heads, but Bella had a natural generosity. The only thing she ever had a problem with was allowing others to do the same for her. That and since Brianna's death, she has had a god damn hero complex. She thinks she needs to save everyone."
"Save others to make up for failing you and Brianna," I said.
"Exactly, now tell me Edward, how do I go back to her and tell her that I'm sorry I ruined her life?"
"She would never see what happened to as her life being ruined. I can tell you right now she doesn't regret anything she has ever done to get to where she is right now. Well… besides not telling me sooner. She can be happy now. She will be happy. We're going to have a baby and we're going to get through this together. But for her to be really happy, she will need you there too."
I exhaled in a harsh quick breath, feeling exhausted from such an emotionally draining couple of weeks. I sat back in the recliner before I continued.
"Jordan, she told me that all her subjects had a hand into molding her into who she is now. She would never regret her previous relationships."
"I guess I can see that. I hate to even think about it. But there is truth behind that statement. I did notice changes during and after her relationships. But that doesn't bother me. I can look past that. If you can, then I can try. But, Edward, I need her to forgive me. I don't think she'll give that to me now that I left when she needed me most."
"After your phone call, she cried in my arms calling out for you, Jordan. Trust me, she wants her brother back. As for forgiveness, that's something you'll have to earn."
"I don't have much a choice. I miss her. I need to know she's okay." Jordan nodded and he remained quiet for a brief moment. "So, I'll go with you."
I smiled and clasped my hand on his shoulder, "That's all I'm asking for." Jordan eyed my hand on his shoulder and cocked an eyebrow. I immediately removed my hand, causing him to laugh.
"Julie, can you pack a bag, maybe my sister would allow us to spend the night," Jordan said looking over to Julie. She smiled and nodded, kissed Jordan softly on his lips and went upstairs.
"Hey, Jordan, do you mind if I show Edward, Bella's old room?" Jacob asked getting up from the couch.
"Go ahead. He might get a kick out of it."
"Wait, this is her childhood home?" I asked looking around the house. I should've known. The house was older and looked like it was well lived in.
"Yes," Jordan said sadly. "Bella was never felt comfortable staying here after Brianna died, we couldn't sell it." Jordan looked at a corner of the living room, his eyes somewhat distant.
"The stains of our blood wouldn't come off. One night after my parents and I had come back from a doctor's appointment, we found Bella tearing away the hardwood floor, with her bloodied fingers," Jordan said quietly.
I realized why his eyes remained on the corner of the room. On a small corner shelf, stood a lit candle with a picture of Bella and Brianna. I suddenly pictured what Jordan described and I felt sickened.
"Come on, Edward," Jacob said, pushing me toward a set of stairs. I followed as I tried to wrap my feelings around the fact that I was in the same house where Bella's life changed dramatically.
"Now, prepare yourself." Jacob chuckled when we came up to the door to Bella's old room. There was a sign on it that read:
Caution:
Enter at your own Risk
Turn Away if You Value Your Life
I Warned You
You're Still Going to Enter, Aren't You?
I chuckled, typical Bella. Jacob looked at me for a moment. "Bella was very um, simple on the outside when she was a kid. But on the inside she was –"
I gasped, my jaw dropped when he opened the door. Along all the surfaces of the room was a painted mural. The wall across from me was a depiction of a beach and a horizon with a setting sun. It was so beautiful and life like. I looked at Jacob in question and awe.
"Yes, she paints. She doesn't think she's any good but as you can see. She's full of shit."
Along the right wall was a small bed covered with dark blue sheets. The backdrop had a scene depicted of the lush forest that surrounded the sleepy little town. There was so much green in the painting that I had a hard time pinpointing where the ground started. I turned toward the left wall.
There was what can be only described as a meadow with light filtering from the clouded sky. The meadow was almost a perfect circle fringed with lush moss covered trees. There were tall grasses and flowers dotting the landscape. The scene was oddly familiar.
There was a vanity and dresser along the same wall covered in pictures. Book shelves flanked the vanity. The thing that amazed me was that her furnishings were painted to give the eyes the illusion that it was not even there or perhaps that it was part of the landscape.
I shook my head in disbelief. Most consisted of the pictures were of her and Brianna. But there were several that included her brother and Jasper. There was even one the pictures she took of us, sitting in my old room years ago. My eyes fell upon a picture of Bella with her arms around a woman that could only be her mother.
Renee had the same color of hair as her daughter, but it was straight with no waves in it. Her eyes were brown but lighter in color. Her skin was also a few shades darker, but their smiles were almost identical.
I smiled and touched the frame. She looked so happy and carefree. It was such an intriguing and beautiful combination for Bella. Jacob turned toward the bed and removed something from under the bed.
Unsure of where to looked, I turned toward the door I had just entered. Shocked at the painting I found there. It was the same sunset the adjacent wall, only there was a woman on the beach. She was watching the setting sun; her shoulders looked slumped as her hair caught in the breeze. Even if I couldn't see her face, I could see that it was Bella, a sad Bella.
"Ugh, I knew this thing was heavy but damn," Jacob complained as he pulled out a flat wooden case.
"What's that?" I asked, walking over to him.
"It's something you should take back to her." I nodded and helped him lift it onto the bed. It had a pad lock on it. On the corner was a small brass plague with Painting Supplies, EGB on it.
"She hasn't painted in a long time. I hope that if you give this to her, she'll take it up again," Jacob indicated. I nodded in agreement. "It will help with the road that lies ahead." We both knew what he meant, the road to her recovery.
The four of us left shortly after, Jacob and I in Bella's car and her brother, along with Julie were in his Volvo. We made good time, and I decided to call Bella just to hear her voice.
"Hello," she answered slightly out of breath.
"Baby, what are you doing?"
"Making bread," she said cheerfully.
"It's the holidays, you could have just gotten store bought. You should be taking it easy."
"Ugh, I can't. I was seriously needed to get some frustration out. Kneading dough helps." I cleared my throat, because I knew exactly what kind of frustration she referred to. The previous night she had a very vocal dream, the kind that had me leaving the bed to take care of my own need. Fucking torture.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, I am," she answered with a small sight. "But I miss you. Um, is Jacob still alive?"
"Yes, of course. He's driving, again."
"I can't imagine you two running errands. Wait. He's not telling embarrassing stories about me, is he?"
I laughed throwing my head back. "My lips are sealed." Jacob cocked a brow and I just shook my head.
"How long until you come back home?"
"Soon, when will dinner be ready?"
"In about an hour."
"Love, can you add two more to our table?"
"Sure. Who are you inviting? Family?" She sounded hopeful.
"Yes, family, we'll be there before dinner is ready. Do you need anything?"
"Yes," she replied in a shy little whisper.
"What is that, my love?"
"You're lips," Bella said seriously, laughing along with Nessie by the sound of it.
"My lips will be there in while. Love you."
"Love you too," she said before hanging up.
"She's either going to kill you for not telling her that Jordan is coming. Or she's going to be so pleased that she'll think this is the best gift you ever gave her," Jacob said.
"Personally, I hope she won't kill me."
"Well considering that your last gift didn't bode well –"
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair; I knew that the conversation of that would come up. "I know I was an asshole, Jacob," I said firmly. "I wasn't in the right frame of mind at the time. I seriously thought she was going to leave me. That nothing was real. It fucking hurt like hell."
"Yes, but the way you did –" Jacob shook his head.
"Enlighten me. When you found out the truth, what the hell did you do?"
Jacob shrugged. "I begged her to stay with me, trying to convince her that she could love me."
Okay. I hadn't expected that. Nor did I know how I really felt about it. Technically, I had done something similar.
"When she refused to listen and explained why, you know the truth. I went to the closest club and fucked two women. One right after the other, in an alley and my car, and I fucking regretted it later that night. Tell me you didn't do that," Jacob said, looking over at me.
I shook my head. "I thought about it. Actually made it to the club, but I couldn't do it. It made me sick to my stomach. She was everywhere I looked. Then later that week I tried again but when I got there, I just didn't want to."
Jacob laughed. "Fuck, she really did a number on you. You passed the Drunk Bella Test, Air Tongs and can't stand the idea of fucking another woman. You're officially a successful case."
"Ugh, I'd like to mention the fact that she closed my case months ago. Thank you very much."
"Still, you both did a number on each other. She didn't sleep with any of her subjects for weeks building the UST factor."
"Fucker, you and Alice pushed us into sparring so the sexual tension went through the roof much sooner. Hell, it was there the first day I met her."
"Well, Cullen I can say that the past couple of days have been…pleasant. In fact, it felt a little like the good old days."
"Was I really that bad?"
"Yes, Edward you were. When we first met you were shy, just funny and shit, a decent guy. But suddenly some weight lifting and a gym membership on the campus and you're a fucking slut. Sorry, but you turned into an asshole. When you weren't preoccupied with lining up your next fuck, you were fun to be around with. But you got worse when you started to work for Carlisle's company. Then Bella and I started dating again and you were a prick about me being with one woman and tried everything to ruin it."
Shit, I really sounded like an asshole. "Hell, when you describe me like that…"
"Well, you didn't expect me to paint you a pretty picture did you?" Jacob grinned and laughed. I shoved his shoulder, muttering that he was an asshole. "You sounded like, Bella, when you were talking with Jordan."
"She's gotten under my skin."
"Dude, you don't want me to start on the sex jokes."
"Hell no, if you say one damn thing to me that concerns, you, Bella and sex, I'll kill you," I said seriously.
"I won't. I don't kiss and tell," Jacob said smugly.
"All right, fucker, you're looking for it."
"I'm just yanking your chain. Anyway, I really love her cousin. I know it's fucked up because of the whole 'they look alike' thing. I really wish I would've met her before Bella. Because I know if it had worked out that way, Nessie and I would already be married."
We arrived about twenty minutes before Bella planned for dinner to be ready. The four of us rode the elevator up quietly. I had Jordan and Julie wait in the hallway as Jacob and I walked in my apartment.
Bella ran into my arms within seconds. I chuckled, wrapping my arms around her and twirling her around. I pressed my mouth against hers for a moment.
"Missed you," she whispered against my lips.
"I missed you, too." I ran my hands over her bare arms, staring into her incredible eyes. She looked so good a forest green dress, almost glowing.
"Love, if you can anything you wished for, what would it be?"
She answered without a second of hesitation. "I'd wish for the sex ban to be lifted so I can play Ride a Cullen." For effect, she batted her lashes and pressed her soft curves against me.
I coughed and groaned. "Bella, I'm serious."
"Doesn't this face look serious?" Bella pointed at herself, looking perfectly composed and serene.
I kissed her nose and chuckled. "Seriously, please."
"I'd wish for our baby to be healthy, to be happy with you and our families."
I smiled. That's my girl. "Someone is here to see you, my love," I said, opening the door behind me. She gasped, because right behind the door was Jordan –standing. She launched herself toward him, wrapping her arms around him. He managed to stay upright, thankfully.
"Bella," he whispered, holding her closer. She sobbed quietly in the crook of her brother's neck. After a minute, she pulled herself together, and then punched his chest a few times.
"Don't you dare ever do that to me again," she said sternly. "Dinner's ready and waiting." With that said she turned on her heels and went to the kitchen.
Jordan rubbed his chest, cringing slightly. "Ow. She's gotten better at throwing punches. But that went better than I thought it would." I cocked an eyebrow. Jordan sighed. "Yeah, I know. I'll still need to talk to her."
I nodded and stepped aside for Jordan and Julie to come inside. Jordan sat back in his chair, rubbing his upper thighs. I hoped that he hadn't already taxed himself, but I was happy for the effort he put in his reunion with his sister.
Julie leaned down, placing a kiss on his cheek, whispering in his ear. It seemed like a private moment, so I went to see if Bella needed help.
Dinner passed with pleasant conversations; mostly about our childhoods. I didn't find it as difficult as I had originally thought it would to discuss my parents. Perhaps it was because I was sharing it with Bella. I loved to hear all about her when she was a child, the accidents, the independent streak that she'd had since she could talk.
All-in-all, dinner was fantastic. Dessert was delicious and I was finally being able to taste Bella's Apple Crumble that Jacob raved about on the way home earlier. We all retired to the living room and Bella wanted her brother and Julie to stay the night. Jordan agreed but told us they'd have to leave early to meet up with Julie's family.
"Okay, it's time to open presents," Jacob exclaimed, pulling Nessie to sit beside him on the floor by the tree. Jordan pushed himself off his chair, carefully settling with Julie along with the others. I was confused. It was Christmas Eve.
"Edward, we open gifts if we know we can't spend Christmas morning together. They're all going to visit others tomorrow," Bella explained.
I nodded and settled on the floor, pulling her down on my lap. She made a little sound of contentment as our hands settled on her stomach. Jacob started to read off names on the gifts, passing them out. "No all my gifts for you went under a tree. I have a couple but not the big ones. Those are for tomorrow," Bella whispered in my ear.
I nodded. "Same goes for you."
"Jacob, Nessie, we chose to get you something that I hope you'll be using soon." Bella passed a small box to them.
Nessie opened the red wrapping paper quickly and opened the box. She gasped. "Oh, my God."
"What is it?" Jacob asked looking over her shoulder.
"It's a vacation in Italy. Plane tickets, rental car, tours and a nice villa to stay at for three weeks," Bella said, smiling.
"Thank you, Bella," Nessie said softly.
"Thanks, Bells," Jacob offered with a wink.
"Hopefully, you can use it for your honeymoon," Bella said.
"Maybe," Nessie whispered, flushing from the attention on her.
Jordan snickered. "Oh, great."
"Don't start, Jordan," Bella quipped. He put his hands up in defense, catching the gift she threw at him. Jordan ducked and messed up Bella's hair. She told him she'd smack him the next he tried that. I believed her.
"Whatcha get me, sis?" Jordan asked, pulling the paper off his gift.
"Nothing much," Bella said with a coy little smile.
"Holy, mother of –" Whatever it was, Jordan was looking at it like it was the Holy Grail. "Is this…original?" Bella nodded. Jordan pulled out a packaged toy, a Star Wars toy.
"Fuck, she found it. The last one you were missing?" Jacob asked.
"Yes," he whispered. "Bells, this must of cost –" Bella placed her small hand on his mouth.
"Don't. I got it for you, and I can't return it. So live with it."
Jordan got his missing figure, a few collector baseball cards, and season tickets to the Seahawks. Both Nessie and Julie got some clothes, jackets, and all expense paid day at a spa. Jacob received some car part that and he started hugging Bella, thanking her. The man was crying. He finally got the part he needed to fix some old vintage truck for his dad.
I handed her the only gift I got her. Well, that I could give to her in front of her family. "Go ahead, open it."
She opened the box and inside was another, a wooden cherry box. On the outside was a little brass plate with the Masen on it. She looked me, quirking an eyebrow.
"It's my family's recipes. My mother was an excellent cook. In that box are recipes both Masen and Davis that date back at least hundred years. Now you can add your recipes." She opened the box and touched some of the cards and pulled a few old handwritten ones.
Bella smiled, tears filling her eyes. "This is perfect."
"There are more but those presents have to wait," I said kissing her lips. She nodded and pushed a box toward me. It was lightweight. I opened it and inside was a beautiful leather bound composition book. Inside the first page something was written in her script.
To the only man that makes my heart and blood sing
Keep composing and let me hear the passion that only you can express to me.
With all my love,
Bella
I kissed her lips softly before we opened the rest of our gifts. Jacob and Nessie got me a gag gift that included busted condoms, blue and pink cigars, and Fatherhood for Dummies book. Then they gave me my real gift, a really nice digital video camera.
Bella's eyes glazed over when she saw it. When I called her on it she blushed and shook her head. Then I understood. Kinky Directorward says action.
I shook the scenarios and scenes already forming in my mind when Bella cleared her throat. She smiled at me, then my little vixen grinded her peachy little ass against me. I bit back a groan.
Fucking tease.
After cleaning up, Jacob and Nessie left while Julie and Bella's brother settled for the evening. Bella switched off the lights in the living room; the only light in the room was the flickering lights of the Christmas tree. She bent down to retrieve a gift from under the tree.
She placed it in my hand, asking me to open it. Inside was a silver heart ornament with our picture inside. Inscribed on the back were the words Our First Christmas.
Together, we placed it on the tree. We took a moment and then I pulled her in my arms to carry her to our bedroom. I sat her on the bed but she stood up, turning back toward me, moving her hair to the side.
"Can you give me a hand?" Bella asked.
"Yes," I whispered. I closed the short distance between us and slid my hands down her arms, kissing her shoulder. After pulling the zipper down completely, my hands moved the thin straps off her shoulders and watched as the dress pooled around her bare feet.
I gulped as I looked over her body. She was in nothing but a dark green strapless bra with tiny matching green panties. I groaned, running my hands down her back before wrapping them around her waist.
She moaned, arching her back for a moment. Soon, her fingers worked on undoing my buttons of my shirt and my sanity. The look she'd given me then had the little control I had unraveling. "We may not be able to have sex, but it doesn't mean we can't make out like teenagers," she said wickedly.
I groaned, gently pushing her onto the bed. I pulled off my clothing in my haste, but I kept my boxer briefs on, the temptation too great. We made out like teenagers for what felt like hours, both panting and aching for more. But we both knew we had to wait. Wait to make sure our child was safe.
~oOo~
The next morning I woke up, lying on my favorite pillow, Bella's right breast. With a peak at the alarm clock, I gently laid back on my own pillow. I took a few minutes to myself, trying to think about how I was going to give Bella her gift.
I had originally planned on giving her a recorded oh my playing her lullaby but felt it wasn't personal enough. So I wanted to play it but with the lyrics. But the lyrics I had come up with weeks earlier didn't seem to fit anymore.
So much that happened since then, that it just wasn't her anymore. Bit and pieces still fit, but I wanted to play and sing another one. I had the perfect one in mind. It said everything I wanted to say. Luckily, I knew the song by heart.
I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard a door closing, alerting me that Julie and Jordan had left. It was still before five, so I decided to sleep in a little longer, falling asleep quickly.
"Mmm…" I heard Bella mumble. Then I felt Bella. Felt her tongue that is on the head of my cock, swirling.
I groaned, grasping the sheet beneath me. "Bella," I groaned loudly. She hummed around my dick, inching further down onto me. "What…I don't…oh God," I gasped as I felt the tip against the back of her throat. "It's not fair. You don't have to."
Bella popped off my cock, looking up at me. "I want to," she answered simply, returning to lavish my erection with attention. It felt so fucking good.
And I let her know just how good I felt. I moaned, groaned and grunted my way through her ministrations. Her lovely hands caressed and groped everything with her reach, including my ass and balls. She hummed around me, and unable to resist, I bucked my hips further in her mouth. I felt the familiar string in my abdomen, ready to snap. I groaned, warning her that I was about to come. "Fuck, Bella," I gasped.
I settled my sated body back on the bed, breathing deeply. Bella crawled up my body, placing soft kisses along the way. I wrapped my arms around her, groping her ass and running a hand up and down her spine.
"Merry Christmas," she whispered in my ear lowly.
"That was the best Christmas morning wakeup call ever, my love." I grinned, causing her to giggle.
"Come on, we have to hurry up and get ready. We have to leave soon," Bella said excitedly.
"We're leaving? Where are we going?" I asked watching her hop off the bed walking into our closet.
"It's a surprise. So come on," she said, taking my hand, trying to pull me off the bed. I groaned and pulled her back into my arms instead.
"I want to stay home," I said, trying to convince her with my lips.
Bella shook her head. "Nope, we have to leave for me to give you my present."
I grumbled, "Fine. I should get up and get ready to give you mine."
She cocked a brow curiously. "If you have lingerie for me, I can give you a fashion show."
"Love, if I got you some lingerie, I'd want more than a fashion show." I smirked.
She laughed as she headed toward the shower. "Care to join me, champ?"
"Like you'd need to ask," I said.
After breakfast, we quickly cleaned up and it was time for more gifts. I took Bella's hand, leading her to my piano. I sat her down beside me and started out with her lullaby. And like the first I had played it for her, I wiped the tears from her eyes. I kissed her nose playfully, then kissing her fully.
"Now, I wanted to play you a song that pretty much explains how I feel about you and everything that has happened. I had originally had written the lyrics to your song but I felt that the song is still unfinished. Until then, this song should tell you how I feel."
Bella nodded then laid her head on my shoulder as I started the song. Bella smiled, likely already knowing the song.
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I poured everything I could into the song. For her to understand that I loved her and there shouldn't be any doubt in her mind that I did. Bella's eyes filled with tears, spilling over as I continued.
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I raised my voice to help convey just what she means to me. To show her just how much she has affected my life.
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You.
Bella sat up straighter taking my hand and lifted the other to my cheek as she started to sway to the music filling room. She continued the rest of the song with me.
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
She sounded so beautiful and she was singing her heart out. Her smile and tears were making me just as emotional. She wiped my cheeks with her soft fingers; our eyes locked as we continued to sing.
After the last note was played, we remained still, my fingers still lingered on the kiss. Then, as always, Bella surprised me as she straddled my hips and kissed me sweetly and so passionately. I never wanted to let her go. I returned her urgent kiss with as much passion. After few minutes, she pulled away to breathe.
"That was the best gift anyone has ever given me," she whispered.
"There is a lifetime more to come, my love," I said, placing small kisses over her eyes and cheeks.
She nuzzled my still scruffy jawline. "I can do a lifetime."
I smiled and smirked as I pulled out another bag from under the piano. "Now, don't think I didn't get you any lingerie, because I did."
Bella laughed softly. "You wouldn't be you without thinking about doing me."
"You got that right," I said. She pulled out a particular sexy pair of black panties that would barely cover her ass.
"Come on it's my turn," she said, kissing me once more. I thought she was trying to convince herself to get off my lap, but not successfully. I internally gloated. Then I remembered that I had her paint set from home.
"I should tell you that I brought something back from your room," I said. Bella looked at me with wide eyes and she blushed. "Why didn't you tell me that you can paint?"
"I guess it never came up. It's not like I'm any good. What did you bring?"
I rolled my eyes at her. No good, silly girl. "Umm, Jacob pulled something from under your bed. It's large box of painting supplies."
Bella nodded and smiled. "It's funny you're brought me that. It actually has to do with your gift. Let's go. You're driving." She tossed me her keys and walked over to her desk to grab her navigation unit.
I went downstairs to the garage to get her car, since Bella was still unable to cope with being in the area. She saw this as weak; I told her I saw it as human.
Bella waited by the curbside in front of her building. She had a small blue cooler, picnic basket, and a blanket in her hands. Derek, our doorman had four wrapped packages. I took the packages from him and helped her put everything in the car. I continued asking questions or for hints to where we were headed. But she refused to budge on the matter. Her answer was only to follow the instructions of the navigation unit. From what I could read on the monitor, the drive would be four hours long.
I couldn't figure out for the life of me where she'd be taking me. But it seemed like a nice day out in December. There was a light chilly breeze but no snow or dark clouds in sight. It was surprisingly sunny. The perfect day to enjoy outdoors bundled but in warm jackets and in each other's arms.
Bella and I started to discuss some of our favorite Christmas memories. Her favorite Christmas was when her mother gave her a used set of paints and easel. That same day she painted something that to this day, hung in her childhood home.
My favorite memory was when my family and I were snowed in Chicago. There was a blackout in the area, so my father, mother and I spent the day unwrapping gifts in the candle light. My father gave my mother and me an entertaining show of shadow puppets.
It was once we reached the interstate that I recognized the area. We were headed toward Bella's hometown.
"Edward, what was your mother's full name before she got married to your father?" Bella asked a beautiful smile on her face.
"Um, Elizabeth Grace Brandon, she's actually from around here. I'm not sure of the town's name. I can't remember," I said sadly. Most of my memories of my parents were fading. "She lived there for the first sixteen years of her life. She moved in her junior year of high school to Chicago, where she met my father."
"Well, when you were in Los Angeles, I did a little investigating," she said. "Based on something your aunt Esme hinted on. Your mother and aunt were from Forks. Just like my mother." I looked at her in question. "My mother knew your mother when they children."
I was so unexpected, the information, that I sat there driving in a dazed stupor. Once we reached our destination, Bella asked for me to find a spot to pull over.
"Now, we walk." Bella smiled. Together we gathered all the things she brought for our little outing and took her hand.
"How far do we have to walk?" I asked, as she led me to a line of trees.
"Not long, about ten minutes." She smiled, looking straight ahead. She had to know how the suspense was killing me. And she enjoyed it.
"Any chance you're going to tell me where you're taking me?"
Bella shook her head. I pouted, to which she only laughed. We walked in a comfortable silence, taking in our surroundings. The forest was lush and green beneath a layer of snow here and there. It was oddly serene.
"When I was about thirteen years old," Bella said quietly, "Jordan, Jasper, and I all went hiking in this area. Somehow, don't ask how, I got separated from the group. They literally had to send out a search crew to find me. I was lost for hours. I came up to a clearing and I wanted to show you. Can you see the light filtering through the canopy up ahead?"
I looked where she pointed to and nodded. "Come on." We stepped through thick forest trees into a sunlit area.
A meadow. A familiar meadow. I looked at Bella, who was watching me. "It can't be that meadow, Bella," I said.
"I thought the same thing too. But like I said, I did some research. I found these in a local gallery." She took one of the packages from me and opened it.
It was an eight by tem framed painting of the same meadow. She held it up, asking me to put the other packages down. She opened the others and laid them down side by side. In each small painting it depicted the same meadow we were in, in different seasons.
I looked up at Bella who gave me a beautiful smile. "I recognized the painting in your beach home immediately when I saw it. The only difference was the signature. On your painting was E. Masen, on these," she held up the painting, placing it my hand. "Are all signed by E. Brandon, your mother."
I held the painting in my hand and looked around. The trees seemed a little thinner in the painting than here. "How do you know it's this place though?"
We placed everything on a blanket she had brought and she led me to a group of trees. "As I said before, I recognized the meadow. I'd seen your mother's paintings at the local gallery. And I asked the owner about them. They were part of his collection, been hanging there for years. Your mother painted them when she was younger, but each painting was dated after she moved. She must have visited here often, and I recognized this tree from your painting."
She traced the lettering carved into the wood.
E. M.
E. B.
"Your father must have brought her here before they were married." She smiled nervously at me.
I stood beside her, touching a carved E. "I can't believe this."
"I'm sorry, Edward. I just thought –" Bella sniffled, touching the area beneath my eyes. Her fingers came up wet.
I wiped the tears from her chilly, pink cheeks. "No, love, this is perfect. You gave me something that I never even realized. You found the one place that my mother loved to escape to in her daydreams." I took her face in my hands, kissing her softly, tenderly.
"The paintings?" I asked looking back toward the blanket.
"They're yours. I bought them from the gallery and donated a few of my pieces in exchange."
I thanked her without words, only touches and few presses of my lips. "Wait. Your paint supplies."
Bella smiled again and laughed. "Your mother gave them to mine before she moved. I had no idea they were friends until I found some of my mom's year books. I found your mother and Esme in it."
I laughed. "I wonder if my parents were still alive, if we would have met sooner."
"Your mother has been coming here for years according to Mr. Banner. He's the curator at the gallery."
"I'd like to come back soon to see this gallery." Bella smiled and agreed. We spent the remainder of the day lounging in the meadow, just enjoying each other's company.
"So, Jacob used to live around here too?" I asked, curious to know everything about her.
"Yes, he lived about ten minutes from my old house. The reservation is near First Beach," Bella said quietly, laying her head on my chest.
"Bella," I said pausing, wondering if I should continue. "This would make a perfect place to have a simple wedding," I suggested. We were danced around the subject since my return. We both knew it needed to be discussed.
Bella hummed then shifted so that her body completely encompassed me. Not that minded in the least. "It would be beautiful in the spring."
I tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I love you, Bella."
Bella smiled. "I love you." We'd continued the discussion, but for some reason that little hint was enough to quell the curiosity about her feelings toward marriage.
We called it a day when it had become too chilly to stay outdoors. Bella pointed out places and her former hangouts while we drove through town. I got a kick out of seeing Jasper's childhood home. It was exactly as he'd described to me long ago. Bella then had me drive by my mother's first home. It was in bad need of repair. It had been abandoned and neglected for almost fifteen years. Well, I'd be calling the real estate agent, soon. I wasn't about to let it fall apart and neglect it as I had done with my memories of my parents.
Bella checked our messages when arrived home later that evening. My family called, indicating that they dropped our gifts there for us. Sure enough there were wrapped packages under and beside the tree. Apparently, Bella had given Alice a key once and never returned it. She wasted no time opening all her gifts.
However, I refused to open mine. Bella gave a look that clearly indicated that she understood but was a little disappointed in my behavior. She pointed out a large box in the corner; a gift from my aunt for the both of us.
The tag read:
To Edward and Bella
Your mother, my sister saved this and I was able to save it for you.
Love,
Esme
Bella lifted the cover and inside was a beautiful mahogany antique bassinet, her eyes filled with tears. "Was this yours?" she asked softly.
"I remember asking my mother about it once. She said it was mine and that she'd one day give it to me, for my child."
"Wow." Bella smiled. "It's beautiful." I nodded. I may not have been ready to accept my family's apologies, but I appreciated the thought that went into the gift. Another piece of the past I had tried to forget.
Bella called my family on her behalf and thanked them for our gifts. She raised an eyebrow, no doubt wondering if I had anything to say. I shook my head, looking away. I just wasn't ready. I still needed time. I needed time to come to terms with everyone's betrayal.
Bella joined me in bed, snuggling up close to me. I sighed and pulled her as close as possible. I didn't ask any questions of my family and she didn't try to push anything about them on me. I appreciated it greatly.
"I don't really want to ruin this moment but um –" Bella said nervously.
"Spit it out, Bella. We already agreed no more secrets."
Bella sighed deeply, averting her eyes. "I have to leave again, soon."
My body, my mind, and fuck, my heart froze for a few brief moments. "What? Why?"
"I have to work on editing my new novel in New York."
"Were you planning on telling me?"
Bella nodded. "I was supposed to go in January. That's what the meeting in New York. The one I had to go to earlier, you know before everything happened."
"You were able to postpone it but not cancel it."
"No. I'm sorry," she said, holding me tighter. Afraid of me, I wasn't sure. "I tried. I really did, but if I don't do this, I liable to get sued. I'd lose millions."
"Okay. I understand that you have to go," I said quietly. "It's going to be hard for me to get away for that long since I'm already took this month off."
"Um, I know you can't come. It would be pointless for you to, because I'd be busy all day."
I nodded. "Again, understandable, but I feel a 'but' coming."
She sat down beside me, watching me closely. Nervously. Whatever else she had to say, it wasn't good. "I have to go on a book tour for my other books."
All right. A book tour. "How long?"
"Three months," Bella whispered. Nervous still. And she had every reason to be.
Hell-the fuck-no!