The Reason Chapter 42, a glee fanfic

Chapter 42: Second Chances

A/N: Hello everyone! I guess I should start of by saying I'm very sorry that I haven't written lately. In all honesty, I've been neck deep in school work and other things that I've barely had any time to breathe. I didn't want to go another night without updating, so here is the next chapter! At first, I wanted to stop the story with the last chapter, but then I realized I'm way too involved with my characters to just end it there! I love Seblaine too much to just call it quits!

I promise to update much more consistently from now on. Get excited, because big things are coming.

I shot up from where I was lying down to find that I was in a place that was familiar, yet somehow strange. I wasn't sure what I was dreaming about, judging from the cold sweat and the trembling, it probably wasn't a dream that I wanted to remember anyways. It was impossible to describe; I was sitting still, I could tell that much, but it felt as if everything around me was shattering. I ran my fingers through my hair, doing my best to try to calm myself down.

I only really started grasping where I was when I felt someone rustle next to me. Since when had someone been there? I turned my head to look at whoever was there, a smile making its way to my face as I looked at the beautiful figure lying next to me. Perhaps the first time I really smiled since I woke up in the hospital. Suddenly, everything was perfect again. Of all the things to be happy about, the only thing I really cared for was the fact that I didn't wake him from his sleep.

Blaine.

I cleared some strands of curly hair and let my hand rest against his face. I knew I wouldn't be going back to bed anytime soon, but I didn't want to stay in bed and risk waking Blaine. I got out of bed and walked towards the stairs, hoping that a glass of water would somehow wash away everything that happened these last few weeks.

I was looking for a glass when someone turned on the light. "You scared me." I said looking at Cooper leaning against the doorframe. "I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"You didn't." He said walking over and grabbing a glass. "Can't sleep either?"

"You could say that." I said handing him the water.

"What's on your mind?" He said after putting away the water and pulling out a chair at the table so that I could sit with him.

"Just a nightmare." I said holding my glass with both of my hands, not looking at Cooper in the eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He said taking a drink from his glass. "What was it about?"

"It felt like I was reliving the day my dad... I can't really remember a lot of it, but it's as if I can feel it. As if it were engraved in the back of my head." I tensed up, sensing the shudder that was crawling up my spine.

"Sebastian, I know that right now all you want to do is get things back to normal, but you need to figure out what you're going to do about everything. You should talk to someone. I can give you the number of my thera-"

"I don't need it." I said shrugging my shoulders. "What's done is done as far as I'm concerned. I'm ready to just move on."

"You know it won't be that easy." He said sitting back in his chair. "If you get some help, it'll make coping easier. You have an entire support system. You're friends, us, Blaine…you can't just pretend what happened to you never happened."

"And why not?" I said crossing my arms. I knew I must have looked like an asshole, but I didn't really want to hear someone preach to me about what I could and could not do. Given that I know he is being nothing but sincere and genuine, but still… "I don't need to dwell on this. I'll move on. I'll make it without my fa-"

"Hi guys." I turned my head to see Blaine walking towards us, his hair in a curly mess and his hand rubbing his eyes. I could feel my heart pound faster and my face was heating up; even just waking up, he stool looked so good. At least that side of me is still here. I mentally smiled at myself, content that little by little, things would be back to normal.

"B, what're you doing up?" I said as he walked over and sat on the seat next to me. He looked at me before looking at Cooper.

"What? What's going on?" He said completely ignoring my question. "I thought we wouldn't keep anything a secret anymore."

"We're not." Cooper said rolling his eyes. "Stop being a drama queen, we just couldn't sleep so we were talking."

"Why couldn't you sleep Bas?" He said reaching for my hand, his face full of worry.

"I said we…" Cooper said, but shook his head when Blaine wouldn't take his eyes off of me.

"Someone wouldn't stop snoring." I said winking at him, making him turn that shade of red that melted me. Blaine covered his face before letting out a small sigh.

"I'm sorry." He said, taking what I said seriously.

"I was kidding." I said lifting his chin and placing a kiss on his lips. "I was just thirsty." I said when my lips parted from his.

"Oh." He said looking at me, his eyes gentle and somehow glowing despite the dim light.

"Why are you up?" Cooper asked.

"I got up to the bathroom and saw the light on down here." He said before turning to look at me. "What were you guys talking about?"

"A little bit of everything." I said sideways hugging him. I smiled, hoping that he was reassured; everything would be alright.

"Want to go back to bed?" He said squeezing my hand. I nodded and said goodnight to Cooper before trailing behind Blaine back to his bedroom. "I actually woke up because I couldn't feel you next to me." Blaine said getting under the covers after shutting his door.

"I'm sorry." I said lying next to him on my side so that I could face him. B rolled over on his side so that our faces were centimeters apart.

"Why are you actually up?" He said placing his hand on my cheek and stroking it with his thumb.

"Just a dream." I said grabbing his hand and bringing it to my lips so that I could kiss the back of his hand. "I'm fine."

"Do you want to talk about it?" He said placing his forehead on mine. "I'm here if yo-" He started, but I stopped him before he could say anything else. I pulled him into a kiss, my hands finding their way under his shirt to run along his abdomen towards his chest.

"This is all I need." I said climbing on top of him and pinning his hands above his head with my one free hand. "Just you." I leaned my head down so that my lips lightly grazed his neck; I could feel the shiver that ran down his spine.

"Sebastian." He whimpered. I could already feel his hard on poking at me. My lips curved into a smile against his skin before I lightly sucked on it, eliciting a quiet moan from his mouth.

"Have you even touch-…" I started, but stopped myself, realizing that Blaine never was one to freely talk about anything that he thought was embarrassing. Masturbating. It was a part of life, why would he need to feel embarrassed?

"Seb!" Blaine pushed me off him and turned his body to face away from me. "You really know how to ruin a moment." He said, a fake pout on his lips.

"I was just curious!" I said placing my arm around him and placing my leg in between his.

"But I'm glad you did interrupt. I think we should talk." He started. "About Kurt. About John. About…your father."

"Some other day." I said. "But as for right now…" I said slipping my hands under his waistband. In the blink of an eye, Blaine was turned towards me and crushed his lips into mine, his tongue forcing his way into my mouth. Horny Blaine was a Blaine that I could get used to. "Someone's impatient tonight." I said biting down slightly on his exposed collarbone. What I didn't expect was to be turned on my back and being straddled. What I expected even less was the insane surge of pain that shot through my body when Blaine sat on top of me. I couldn't stop the groan that escaped my lips, which I instantly regretted because it meant Blaine would feel bad and apologize.

"Oh god!" Blaine said practically jumping off of my and helping me sit up. "I'm so sorry Seb! Did I hurt you?"

"I'm fine." I said wincing slightly but trying my best to reassure him. "Looks like I won't be good to go for another while." I said sighing and looking at him. "Will you pass me the meds?" I asked, pointing to the bottle of painkillers sitting on the nightstand.

"I should have known! I let myself get too worked up and ended up hurting you." He said looking down at the sheets.

"It's not your fault." I said dry swallowing the pills before lying back down. "Believe me, I want it so bad." I extended my arm so that he could rest his head on it and I could pull him in to me.

"At least you had relief when you would hook up with Hunter." He said looking over at me, an embarrassed smile on his lips.

"What do you mean?" I asked raising an eyebrow at him.

"Never mind." I couldn't stop the smile that made its way onto my lips when I realized what he meant; he didn't have sex let alone touch himself since we broke up.

"So you really never even touched yourself? That's a shame. I would have thought that you at least would have fantasized about me while doing it."

"I did!" He said. From the bright shade of red he was turning, I could tell I wasn't supposed to hear that. "Well, I mean…I did do it at first, but it just didn't compare." He said, his face turning even redder. He lied back down and covered his head with a pillow.

"Not surprised." I said taking the pillow off. "My mouth is much more talented than a plain old hand." I said winking at him. Before he could say anything, his shorts were on the floor and I was working my way down. Maybe my body couldn't handle sex right now, but helping Blaine get release after who knows how long was the least I could do.

The instant my mouth was around him, his hands clenched into fists that roughly pulled on my hair.

Blaine wanted this. He wanted this bad.

"Wait, what?" I asked when Santana announced how we would be raising money for regionals.

"You heard me. It's time that the guys of this club to feel what we girls feel every single time one of you objectifies us." She said, getting a cheer from all the girls in the room.

"So, how naked exactly are we getting?" Sam asked, his eyebrow raised at Santana.

"Bare minimum." She said, a half smile coming onto her lips. "I'd start getting in shape boys."

I know it was meant as a joke, but it kind of hit me that while I was fine for my height and age, I wasn't exactly fit. I was just slim. Sebastian on the other hand was incredibly toned. I was never a self-conscious person, but something about posing half naked for a calendar to be distributed to the entire school made me kind of uncomfortable.

When the bell rang, I grabbed my things and left the choir room without really saying anything to anyone. My mind was too preoccupied on other things. "Penny for your thoughts." Sam said throwing his arm over my shoulder.

"N-nothing." I said smiling at him.

"Well then why are you walking towards the auditorium? It's lunch time." He said ruffling my hair and turning me the other way. "I'll buy you lunch today. I owe you for last time anyways."

"You don't have to." Sam shook his head and went on and on about some new game he had just bought as he filled a tray with enough food for five.

"So you should definitely come over! Tell Sebastian to come too." He said placing the tray down and hopping over the table to sit down across from me.

"Speaking of Sebastian." Santana said sitting down next to me. "Cheers, to a quick recovery." Santana lifted a carton of milk, to which everyone followed and everyone started clapping and cheering. I laughed seeing everyone else staring at us. We were a weird bunch of people.

"That's so cute that he woke up and was waiting for you at home with a song." Tina said, suddenly looking faint as if Sebastian's act had her exasperated.

"What did you guys do all weekend?" Marley asked.

"Yeah, a bunch of us tried to get in touch with you but we couldn't reach you. We wanted to stop by and say hi to Sebastian." Jake added.

"We-" I started, only to be interrupted by Brittney.

"What they were missing out on for the last few months." She said with a completely straight face. All of us looked at each other, kind of surprised by what she said. "What? Santana told me that's what you would be doing." She said shrugging. Seems like Britt didn't quite understand what Santana meant.

"Santana!" I said looking at her.

"What? Was I wrong?" Santana laughed and waved someone over. "Hope you two don't mind Finn and I sitting with you guys." Finn made his way over and greeted everyone before sitting down. Something about the look on his face told me he had something important to tell us.

"So guys, after the photo shoot we need to start working on what songs we're going to perform at…" Finn started drum rolling on the table. "Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury's wedding. He asked us to be the entertainment!"

"Do the graduates already know?" Artie asked.

"I told my brother, and he told Quinn and Mercedes." Jake said.

"I told Mike." Tina added.

"Yeah, and I told Rachel and Kurt." Finn said. Everyone started brainstorming what songs we were going to sing at the wedding, but the only thing I could think about was leaving here and going to pick up Sebastian at Dalton.

"We don't have rehearsal today." Hunter said standing up as the final bell rang. "But, you better work your ass off to catch up for the practices you've missed."

"Will do captain." I said rolling my eyes at Hunter. "I'll be ready. I'm better than most of the Warblers even with broken bones and missed practices."

"True." He said walking next to me. "But that doesn't mean I don't expect you to be in your best condition at all times."

"So much for taking it easy on me after almost dying." I said smirking at him. Although I meant it as a joke, I saw Hunter fidget slightly when I mentioned it.

"Don't tell me you actually expected me to go easy on you." He said composing himself again. "You know you want me to pretend like nothing happened anyways."

"That I do." I said putting my arm over his shoulder. "I must say, you're pretty good at this whole being-a-best-friend thing. You know me so well."

"Shut up." Hunter said shaking his head. "I'll see you tomorrow." Hunter sped up and walked away from me, not letting me say another word. I had thanked Hunter and the Warblers for caring about me and visiting me at the hospital, but something about how Hunter was acting told me something was off.

"Hey!" Jeff said walking over to me. "What're you up to?"

"I'm just going to the common room."

"But we don't have rehearsal." Nick said walking into the conversation at the perfect time. These two somehow always seemed to be together.

"Exactly." I said walking ahead of them and turning to face them. "Which is perfect since I need to work twice as hard. I'll see you guys later."

"Wait! Come get dinner with some of the Warblers tonight. There's a new-"

"I can't." I said giving them an apologetic look. "I'll have to reschedule. I have plans tonight." I waved goodbye and turned around, managing to see the look they both gave each other. Everyone knew that for a while Blaine and I would be inseparable. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. I walked into the common room and closed the door before making my way over to the couch. My body had been aching all day, but I wasn't about to let it stop me.

I would make a fully recover and I would win the Warblers a nationals trophy.

I sat there for a while looking through my playlist mindlessly. I let my mind wander, yet somehow, all my thoughts would end up being about my father and that night. As much as I tried to fight it and not think about it, there were so many things that were unanswered and so many things that had yet to be said. Pretend. I just want to play pretend.

"Enough Sebastian." I said standing up. "Get over it. Move on." I stretched before plugging in my iPod and taking off my blazer.

You took my heart and you held it in your mouth
And, with a word all my love came rushing out
And, every whisper, it's the worst, emptied out by a single word
There is a hollow in me now

So I put my faith in something unknown
I'm living on such sweet nothing
But I'm trying to hope with nothing to hold
I'm living on such sweet nothing
And it's hard to learn
And it's hard to love
When you're giving me such sweet nothing
Sweet nothing, sweet nothing
You're giving me such sweet nothing

It isn't easy for me to let it go
Cause, I've swallowed every single word
And Every whisper, every sigh
Eats away at this heart of mine
And there is a hollow in me now

And it's not enough To tell me that you care
When, we both know the words are empty air
You give me nothing
Nothing
Sweet nothing

I wasn't sure what brought me to my knees. Was it because my body was still too weak? Or was it my mind that just couldn't take it anymore?

"Kind of a sad song, don't you think?" I turned around to see Hunter standing at the doorway. When did he get in here?

"What can I say?" I said walking over to pick up my bags. Blaine would be here soon and I didn't want him to find my still gathering my things. "It's how I feel."

"Sebastian." Hunter said walking over to me. He placed his hand on my shoulder when I didn't look up at him. "I'm here fo-"

"I'm so tired of everyone pitying me. It's getting old!" I threw my hands into the air, fed up with all the whispers and the looks I had received in the last period alone. "I'm fine. I don't need anyone."

"I.." Hunter was standing there giving me a blank look. I didn't mean to be such an asshole, it just happened when I got frustrated.

"It's not you Hunt." I said, extending my fist to bump his. "I'm just so tired of everyone feeling bad for me. So what? My dad beat the crap out of me. Can everyone just move on?"

"Why do you have to act like such a tough guy all the time Seb? No one will look down on you if you seek help."

"I don't need it." Seems like that's really all I'd been telling people when they offered me help of any sort. "But thank you." I smiled at him before making my way to the door.

I stopped when my hand was on the doorknob. What was stopping me from asking for help? There was no shame in that right? Everyone needed help at some point. "I'll see you tomorrow." Was all I managed to get out.

"So where exactly did everyone go?" I heard Sebastian ask from the living room.

"Cooper and Julie wanted to go out to dinner with my parents before they leave back to Los Angeles." I grabbed glasses and the soda before walking towards the living room. "Which means that we get the place to ourselves."

"You should have gone out with them. You only have three days with Cooper left." Sebastian said as he pulled out the take-out from the bag.

"I like where this is going." Sebastian winked at me before walking over to the TV and turning it on. After watching most of the movie and eating practically everything we decided to walk around the garden before it got too late. The weather was nice outside anyways.

"Those are my favorite." I said walking over to a light purple flower. "My mom let me go with her once to pick out flowers to plant, and I chose these. Ever since that day my mom has let me take care of them."

"They are beautiful." Sebastian said wrapping his arms around me from behind. "But I can't say that what I have in my arms right now isn't even more breath taking." I turned around and kissed his lips before grabbing him by the hand and walking towards the bench. Everything was just so perfect right now that it felt like at any moment something would disturb the peace.

"So…" I started, not exactly sure how I would bring things up again. Seems like I would be the one breaking the happiness.

"Let me start." Sebastian said, taking in a deep breath and letting it out. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about what happened back when I was homeless. I was just so embarrassed to tell the one person whose opinion actually mattered to me."

"How did it happen?" I was looking at Sebastian, but his gaze was fixed on the moon that was making its way into the sky.

"The headmaster at Dalton told me that I was no longer listed as a resident in the dorms and that my father told him I would be moving back home. Except when I got home, Maria gave me a note…a note that told me I wasn't allowed in his house anymore."

"I can't believe you wouldn't tell me something like that though. I would have understood. I would have given you a place to live, and we would have another excuse to see each other all the time."

"I know. And believe me, I've been told countless times how stupid and wrong I was. But just the idea of not being able to provide for you everything that a boyfriend should provide kind of bummed me out."

"We weren't dating." I said nudging him. Of all the questions that I wanted to ask, the most important one was the that I was trying to muster up the courage to ask. "What exactly are we now? I mean, if you don-"

"What do you mean?" He said raising an eyebrow and turning to look at me. "Are we not dating?"

"No!" I said shaking my head and laughing. "Well, yes! But I just wasn't sure if we had titles again. We were technically broken up before everything happened, and I didn't want to assume we would be together."

"I should have asked again." Sebastian always did this. "I'm sorry. I can go all out again if you'd like me to. Why didn't I think of this? I shouldn't have assumed that you would just take me back with open arms."

"It's fine." I said laughing. "I just wanted to make sure that we were exclusive."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Sebastian said wrapping his arm around me and pulling me in closer.

"Do you mind me asking where you live now?" I said turning my head to look at him.

"I live with Santana. We have an apartment together not too far from here. Which reminds me, I really should probably get back there. I only lived there for a day before what happened."

Sebastian said it so nonchalantly that I almost thought I heard wrong. "Wait a minute. You live with Santana?"

"That's correct." Sebastian looked at me and started laughing. "Believe me, I wouldn't have imagined that being possible either."

"I still can't believe this all happened."

"I know. And again, I'm sorry. I know it might be hard to understand, but everything, everything I did was because I thought that it was best for you." Sebastian looked straight into my eyes when he spoke. "It's no excuse, and I don't expect you to just get over it, but maybe if you can understand what I was thinking, you might not hate me as much." He said putting on a pout.

"As weird as it is," I said standing up. "I think I understand you. I'm just glad not everyone thinks like you because if they did…" I pretended to shutter, too horrified to even finish that statement. I smiled at him before turning around to face the garden again. Up until now, it had been Sebastian who had done all the apologizing. But it wasn't just him at fault for this entire ordeal. I was partially to blame as well. "I'm sorry too." I said crossing my arms.

"For what?" Sebastian said lying down on the bench.

"For running away to New York. And that I…that I slept with Kurt." I turned around quickly enough to see Sebastian look hurt before sitting back down.

"You're not to blame, B. I get why you did it. I don't hold it against you. If you do it again, however, then that's a whole different story."

"I still feel bad though." I said walking over and sitting next to him. "I shouldn't have done that. I was stupid."

"It's fine." Sebastian said intertwining our fingers.

"Last thing, and then we can move on and never bring these bad memories up again." I said. Sebastian was quiet, so I figured that I would speak again. "What do you want to do about your father?" Sebastian closed his eyes as soon as I asked the question. I knew talking about this wasn't something that Sebastian wanted to do, but we couldn't let it go on any longer. It had already been a week since Sebastian was discharged and the police still only knew what Sebastian had told them; he was attacked by some strangers and they ran away before he could get a good look at their face.

"There's nothing to do." Sebastian said not opening his eyes. "I just want to move on."

"Sebastian, you're father is still out there, fully aware of everything he did to you. He must've known you would end up in the hospital. You can't just let him get away with something like that."

"I'm not sending him to prison, Blaine."

"I'm not saying prison, but at least try to contact him. He can't just throw away his son like that."

"Funny." Sebastian said standing up. "That's exactly what he did."

"Sebastian…" I said, trying to find the right words to say to him. "I don't even know what happened that night."

"He was drunk and he beat me." Sebastian went from angry to remorseful in almost an instant. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice." Sebastian said before sitting back down and kissing me. "I'm not mad at you. I just want to forget what happened. I'm at the lowest point I've ever been in my life, B, and I just don't know how to get back up."

"Do I even have to tell you what to do?" I said smiling at him.

"I already sang today." Sebastian said. I laughed and shook my head. Sebastian still didn't understand how powerful a song could be. "Fine. Let me think."

Sebastian closed his eyes again, and when he opened them, I knew he had found his song.

Praying won't do it
Hating won't do it
Drinking won't do it
Fighting won't knock you out
Of my head

Hiding won't hide it
Smiling won't hide it
Like I ain't tried it
Everyone's tried it now
And failed somehow
So when you gonna let me
When you gonna let me out

And if you know
How do you get up from an all time low?
I'm in pieces
Seems like peace is
The only thing I'll never know
How do you get up?
Get up

Cause driving won't do it
Flying won't do it
Denying won't do it
Crying won't drown it out
What you said

When I'm standing on the yellow line
Waiting at the station
Or I'm late for work
A vital presentation
If you call me now girl
Without reservation
I would try to break through

And if you know
How do you get up from an all time low?
I'm in pieces
Seems like peace is
The only thing I'll never know
How do you get up from an all time low?

I can't even find a place to start
How do I choose between my head and heart?
Till it ceases I never know
How do you get up from an all time low?

Can you hear me?
Can't you hear me?

And if you know
How do you get up from an all time low?
I'm in pieces
Seems like peace is
The only thing I'll never know
How do you get up from an all time low?

I can't even find a place to start
How do I choose between my head and heart?
Till it ceases I never know
How do you get up from an all time low?

The entire song Sebastian was singing to nothing but the night sky. Was it a cry to his father? A father who didn't deserve the immense love that Sebastian still felt for him?

I sighed before smiling at him and walking towards the house again. I knew that he understood just how therapeutic music could be, but it was his stubbornness that was still holding him back. Sebastian came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me; I could feel his lips in the shape of a smile against my neck.

"I love you. You know that, right?" I wasn't sure whether it was his breath against my skin or the words that came out of his mouth that sent a tingling sensation throughout my entire body. I turned around to kiss him, a kiss that was passionate and gentle. When my lips finally decided to leave his, I walked inside and head back to the living room to finish the movie.

"The best thing about this is," Sebastian said throwing himself on top of me. "I can move with you to New York. Besides getting to call the man of my dreams my boyfriend that is of course." Sebastian was saying all the right things tonight, and he knew it. I could tell from his hard on rubbing against me.

"Wait…so…"

"There's nothing holding me back anymore. I don't have to go to London. As far as I'm concerned, I can move to wherever I want now. And wherever you are, that's where I want to be." Sebastian had me straddled under him again, his hand snaking it's way up my back.

"It'll be perfect." I said in between his hungry lips attacking mine and my attempt at breathing. Everything seemed to be fitting into place finally. It would be Sebastian and I in New York. Together.

"Sucks that I'll be missing a full school year. Not that I can afford schooling anymore." It was odd that we were having this conversation in the midst of tearing each other's clothes off, but I didn't mind it.

And then it hit me.

"Where are you going?" Sebastian practically groaned out when I pushed him off of me and jumped off the sofa.

"I didn't check the mail today." I said walking over to the table near the entrance.

"And that was more important than this?"

"Maybe."

"What's going on B?" Sebastian asked. It came in; an envelope with the seal of New York University. My train of thought was interrupted by a sudden knock on the door. "See? Now we missed our chance." I couldn't stop the laugh that came out of my mouth before I opened the door.

Except, when I opened the door, I no longer wanted to laugh. In fact, I felt downright sick.

"It's nice to see you again Blaine." The man extended his hand towards me and I couldn't stop my natural instinct to back away.

"Mr. Smythe…" I felt as if a lump had just formed in my throat. I knew what this meant. I knew what this meant for Sebastian.

It was him. His father.

Mr. Smythe.