Two days later Caim stood in front of the gates to the cemetery he had avoided before. At his side he carried a bouquet of dandelions and other flowers that he had picked from a park earlier in the morning. It was just going seven A.M and the street was mercifully low key. As low key as a street in New York City can get that is.
He took a deep breath and bit his lip. I can do this. There's no way I'm not going to. Even if I stand here all day, I will go in there before midnight. Despite trying to give himself a pep talk it took him another couple minutes to put one foot in front of the other and slowly start his walk across the street. Wouldn't it be ironic if I got hit by a car on my way to see her? He laughed.
Once he entered the cemetery it was as though he had stepped through a vacuum, as though the gates and fence were a barrier that didn't allow the outside street noise to penetrate the sacred land. Instantly Caim felt himself relax, his shoulders lower, and his heart rate slow. Maybe I should visit these places more often. He knew he wouldn't do it though.
As he slowly walked down the road that led through the large space he could see a few people here and there visiting their own relatives, he even saw a burial with a large group of black clad family members and friends. Rest in peace... He sent the thought out before picking up the pace a bit, just to pass the scene. He hated funerals.
Just before he came across the row where Mia's grave sat he spotted a brown haired woman standing from her cross-legged position in front of a headstone. As she fixed her long braid she turned her head and caught his eye. "Good morning," she greeted softly.
"Good morning," he replied.
"Nice flowers," she told him.
"Thank you."
She gave him a small smile before turning and starting down the path in the direction that Caim had come, and he watched her for a moment before continuing until he came across Mia's own headstone.
"Hi," he said softly.
He sat in front of the grave.
"I brought you some flowers..." He smiled a bit as he rested them on the ground in front of him. The headstone was a simple shape with her name and date of birth and death on it, along with an engraving in Chinese that he didn't know. "Remember when we'd make bracelets out of them in elementary school?" He picked a few up and started to twist them together like they had so many years ago. He was silent as he did, concentrating on perfection, and after several minutes when it was done he rested it on top of the stone and smiled slightly. "A kind of crown, or a halo." The word 'halo' got stuck in his throat and he coughed to clear it.
Shouldn't I be crying?
He ran his fingers through the grass around him and bit his lip. "So uh, I have news." He forced a smile, not looking at the grave. "I'm a mutant too." He nodded. "Yeah, I'm a mutant too. And I..." He took a breath. "I don't know what to do about it." He looked up at the stone, and he thought about how he would be telling her this all personally if she were still alive.
Would I have still become what I am if she hadn't died? Would my... powers, have just come at a different time?
"I met a guy named Riley who's a mutant too, but I don't want to talk to him about it." He took a deep breath. "I'm lost Mia... I'm really lost. It's like the day that we spun in circles until we fell over, and then got up and did it again and again and by the time we decided to stop we were just stumbling all over the place and weren't sure which end was up. Only… only this is worse." He stopped and looked down at his gloved hands. In a split second he was yanking them off and tossing them aside. He pressed his palms to the ground and squeezed his eyes shut. "I have two more. One on my arm and one on my... my back shoulder, on the last spot you touched." He opened his eyes. "And I have no idea what to do with them."
He pulled his hands away from the ground and dusted the dirt off of them. No idea what to do with them, no idea what to make of them...
"But... I didn't really want to come and go on and on about that because I know that you couldn't give me answers even if you wanted to." He forced another small smile. This isn't as strange as I thought it would be. "I wanted to come say hi, make sure that no one did anything to your grave, and tell you that I'll come again next year. And the year after, and the one after that. And if I can I'll try to come on your birthday. I'm sorry that I didn't come this year, but I wasn't around NYC and I didn't have the cash to make it." And walking halfway across the state in snow wasn't a thought.
He pulled his gloves back on and kept his head bent. "I also wanted to... apologize, for what happened. I could have saved you... I saw my father's-" Ha! Father. That title's bullshit. "-car and I knew what was going to happen but when I tried to call to you nothing happened and you got hit and... and then I ran. And I'm sorry. For everything. For not calling. For not seeing if I could save you. For not staying. For not coming to your funeral. For not visiting you here sooner. " He took a deep breath and felt tears prick his eyes.
Why does it seem like I've been waiting for this?
"I'm sorry," he choked out, just as the first few tears trailed down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry Mia..." He couldn't get anything more out because that's when the first tears since he had fled the accident started to fall.