It was never I who changed.
The assumption is always, "why did you change your mind, Lily?"
I didn't change my mind.
You changed yours.
And I can never thank you enough … for making me happier than I could have ever dreamed.
You were a bit of a bully, and an arrogant twit, and you thought having power was cool. And I am sorry I said so many horrible things that day; but I needed to. Don't you understand? I hope you do. It made you so much better as a person.
No, you didn't turn up to lessons the next morning as a caring, sensitive boy. It was … gradual. You spent far less time in detention … and you were still funny, for that's one of the things I love most about you, your wonderful sense of humour; but it really seemed like you had a heart. That you were putting to good use.
In September of our seventh year, I found out that Remus was a werewolf, and I knew you had that heart. For befriending him. For looking past the prejudices that you grew up with.
You fancied me, and … I was flattered, because you were a bit more obvious about it than others. You didn't shout it from the rooftops, or … or stand up at Gryffindor table, or anything ridiculous like that, but you were never afraid to be caught looking.
At me.
Everyone makes mistakes. Some are petty. Some are … some are unforgivable. Some you can't fix.
But some you can, and you did, and I love you so much for it. There, you see, is the difference, the difference between a man who sees that he was wrong and continues to be so, and a man who sees what he has done and chooses to make up for it. No, not make up for it, because that would suggest you simply apologising. Not to me. To everyone you and Sirius ever treated badly. But you made sure it never happened again.
I'm sorry to go on like this … I just want you to know … I love you so, so much. I could have fled the country with the other Muggle-borns when I left school. But you chose to rush into the thick of the fighting, and I saw what danger you were in … a blood-traitor, they call you! And one of immense talent … I knew then I couldn't leave your side.
And I may never be as good as you, but I don't care. I'll try, and I'll try, and I'll save as many lives as I can, and if I die in the process, then you will at least know that I love you and I am so, so glad that you brought me into this world, this world of true courage and making a real stand and duty.
I have no doubts that you will stay strong for much longer, for you are far cleverer; far more talented, far bolder. And so if I don't make it, my darling James … then just know … that I am forever grateful that you changed your mind.
Quite sad, this. Or at least, I think so. It was quite difficult writing this, because we know Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione in the books, and yet we only get a brief glimpse of Lily, not really enough to know how she would put something like this. Hopefully … like this? So it'll be James next. Molly is being written, and it's a bit different, far longer, than the others. But I hope you'll all like it.