Dear Arthur. Dear, dear Arthur. They said eighteen was too young. My mother said it would never last. "You'll regret it," she told me, I remember. "Marrying a boy you barely know!"
Others said it was the panic of the war. People dying. And why shouldn't it be? What is wrong with not wanting to waste a second?
I don't regret it. At all. You may fritter away your time with Muggle junk, and you may hardly ever take my side … but you have given me a constant companion all these years, given me seven beautiful children, made it so I am never, never alone.
Darling Arthur. We've been through so much … births, weddings and deaths.
I could never have gone through it all without you. Our children could never have grown up so wonderfully without you as a father. Bill would never have been Head Boy without you to teach him how to respect people. Charlie would never have been Quidditch Captain without you to spend all those hours flying with him in the back garden, teaching him perseverance.. Percy would never have been so studious, so clever, without you to teach him dedication and pride in what you do. The twins would never have been so full of life and lively without you to teach them that laughter can be the best medicine. Ronnie would never have been so loyal without you to teach him the values of family and friends. Ginny would never have been so bold, so strong, without you to treat her equally in a family where she was the only girl.
I would have never got through everything without you to love me, to calm me down, to be a constant, solid, presence in a life where everything was changing. We were poor. Who cared? Our children kept the house full of light and warmth, and you were happy doing what you did, and that was what was important.
I will never forget the look on your face when Percy walked out. I know it hurt you, but I cannot thank you enough for keeping it together while I fell to pieces. At one of the most difficult times in my life - our son had left us, we were living with a known criminal, You-Know-Who was back - you were there and you were calm, and you told me it would be all right.
And when Percy came back, and apologised over and over again, you told him it didn't matter. And suddenly, it didn't.
We gained a son that night, but we also lost one.
Losing a child leaves a hole in your heart that will never heal. Everybody blames themselves. We think of the 'should-haves' and 'what-ifs' and 'whys'. I told myself I shouldn't have told him off so much, should have let him be, should have paid more attention to him. I hated myself because years and years ago, when my brothers had been killed and little Harry Potter had been nearly killed, I had sworn that I would never, ever lose one of my children that way.
You kept me going. I was useless to everyone in the months after Fred's death, I know I was. They all needed their mother, especially George, but I was a wreck, and you came through yet again. You sat up with George for hours on end, talking him through it, you were always there for smiles and hugs and words of wisdom, and we got through it. Not over it - never over it.
Every May, we don't mourn the death of our son. We raise our glasses and we know that we had a son who was brave enough to fight when others fled. We had a son who was so loyal to his family that he would give his life for them. We had a son who was so intelligent but never used his brains for what we wanted him to - and yet he took pride in what he did and he did it wonderfully. We had a son who never gave up until he accomplished something. We had a son who stood up for what he believed in. We had a son who laughed until the very end.
He would never have been that without you, my darling Arthur. Without you, I would not be here, a woman who has suffered loss and pain and much much more, and yet still standing, surrounded by my sons, daughter, grandchildren, all because of you. You lose and yet you keep on giving, my man, always proud, always strong, always mine.
Well, I started writing this in what, January, February? And it was a lot, lot, longer, around 2000 words, but I felt it was too much of a retelling of Molly and Arthur's story and not enough of Molly's feelings. So I rewrote it as this. I'm not too fond of it, but I'd love to know what anyone else thinks. It was difficult, I'll say that much.
I still have the original version, in case anybody would like to read Molly and Arthur's story through the years from Molly's perspective. Let me know.