(Jane)
People now began to approach me, complimenting me on both my reading and my "Pride and Prejudice" book, breaking the eye contact that had been held between Tom and myself, thus separating us.
I stood up to politely address my "well-wishers" who kept me fairly busy for awhile as I didn't want to appear rude or impolite and leave anybody out. But because of this, I was unable to keep my eye on Tom. When there was finally a lull in the people who had surrounded me, I glanced about to see that Tom and his daughter were no longer around. So they had left then. A wave of bitter disappointment came over and threatened to envelope me, but I stubbornly pushed it away. I would not allow it to happen. After all, Tom is a married man...a married man with a family. If it hadn't been for Henry going after him and bringing him back...if I hadn't even noticed him at the entrance way of the building to begin with...I stopped my thoughts right here and once again brought them back to the present.
I noticed the over all crowd in the room was beginning to thin and people had stopped coming up to me. It was now that I realized as I scanned the remaining faces in the room that Henry and Eliza were also missing. At least, they weren't where I could see them. I know they wouldn't have left without me.
Moving about the room, I suddenly spotted them and started going towards them. As I approached my heart skipped a beat as I now saw that Tom had not left after all, but had been visiting with Henry and Eliza whilst they waited for me. I didn't realize that I had stopped walking upon noticing him, but apparently, I had. I felt rooted to the spot, my emotions coming to a head once again. I both desperately wanted to talk with Tom...BUT...I knew if I did that I would regret it because even after all of these years my feelings for him were there as strong as they ever were. Of that, there is no doubt as I now realized since first seeing him. And if it had been wrong of us to try and "elope", then it was even worse that I should have these feelings for him when he was married...married AND had a family-I find I am constantly reminding myself of. NO...I should NOT talk to him at all then...
But suddenly the four of them, seeing that I was no longer engaged, moved towards me. I had no choice now, I would have to face him, talk with him.
"Jane, at last you are free!" my brother Henry called out.
Before I could make a reply, Henry went on. "It might interest you to know dear sister, that our Mr. Lefroy has become quite a successful lawyer."
Actually, I had known that...one of those "news items" that floated around our area, courtesy of our friends, the Lefroys. But because I knew the situation between us had not changed and could not go any further, I started to steel any feelings I had for him, against him. I also had some pride and I refused to let him believe that I knew of this, lest he came to the wrong conclusion that I would always ask after him to his aunt and uncle. (Surely though, Anne wouldn't allow him to believe that?).
I opened my eyes wide as I feigned my surprise. "How wonderful for you Mr. Lefroy!" I thought that Tom almost seemed embarrassed by my statement.
"I think the two of you have some catching up to do. Eliza and myself will take charge of your young Jane Tom, while you visit. That is...if it is alright with you Tom...oh and of course Miss Lefroy."
This time my surprise was genuine...I was too surprised to say anything at first and when I finally thought I could, it was already agreed upon by the rest and the three of them started walking away. I shot daggers from my eyes into the retreating backs of my brother and sister-in-law cousin. How DARE they leave me alone with Tom! They should know better!
"Miss Austen..." I heard Tom's voice address me very gently. I felt a surge of emotions. Then even more quietly, "Jane..." I closed my eyes, swallowed and finally turned around to face Tom alone.
(Tom)
A throng of people started converging upon Jane after she had finished her reading, breaking our 'connection'. I elected to quietly move out of the way and took my daughter Jane with me. Henry and Eliza had also done the same thing. Henry beckoned for us to join them and we obeyed. As soon as we reached them, Eliza immediately took Jane under her wing and moved slightly away from us, engaging my daughter in conversation. I had the feeling that Henry had asked Eliza to keep Jane occupied so that he could talk to me. I was about to find out that I wasn't wrong.
"I sense that you still have feelings for my sister, Lefroy." he said in a low voice and not in an overly kind tone.
I didn't deny it.
"And I could see that she still very much has feelings for you." he continued when I didn't answer. "I thought that enough time would have passed. I thought the two of you would have liked to meet each other again after all of these years as friends. But perhaps it was wrong of me to have gone after you and bring you back here after all. I don't know what kind of game you are playing with my sister Lefroy, but it's not right that you encourage her when you yourself are unavailable!"
I stood tall, looked Henry straight in his eyes and replied firmly. "I assure you Mr. Austen, that I play NO game with your sister. I will not lie and deny my feelings for her. And I can only HOPE and PRAY that you are right about her feelings for me!"
I could tell that my reply had taken Henry by surprise as he said nothing, so I took advantage of his silence to fill him in on the situation I was currently in...
When I had finished, Henry said more calmly, "Tom...I hope you can forgive me. I just...well you never saw what your break up did to Jane. I had never seen her so down before. She was not herself for such a long time. Oh, she put up a brave front for everyone and most especially in public, but we...her family could tell. It took her a long time to get over you and come back around to being herself again. I just want to protect her...to make sure that she doesn't go through that again."
My heart ached for my Jane at those words. As painful as it was for myself as well, at least I had been able to lose myself in my marriage...the birth of my first child and then my second one, my "long awaited" daughter (and the rest that followed) and my career. In comparison, Jane had had...nothing. No one, outside her family and friends that is.
"Of course Henry. I completely understand that." I agreed. I now ventured to ask. "Did...did she have any other suitors?"
"Yes..." Henry replied, "Eventually there were a couple more, one even looked promising, but nothing ever came of them."
I didn't know what to say to that. Henry called Eliza and Jane back over to us now. Quietly, Henry took Eliza aside and spoke in a low tone to her. I knew he was explaining things to her.
Once he had finished, she came back over to me, with both hands reaching out for mine. I held mine out and allowed her to place hers in my hands. "Tom..." was all she said and then taking me by surprise, she placed a gentle kiss upon one of my cheeks, then smiled at me.
"So tell us about yourself Tom. Did you ever pass the bar?" Henry was now asking me.
I filled them in on what had transpired since I last saw them...how I had not only passed the bar but had started a practice as a lawyer in Ireland where I had become quite successful. They both expressed their pleasure in my success.
As we had been talking, I noticed Jane coming towards us and then abruptly stop. She seemed no longer be occupied with fans.
Henry had also noticed her about the same time I did. I dearly wanted the chance to talk with her alone. I wondered when I would get that chance.
"Jane, at last you are free!" Henry called to her. "It might interest you to know dear sister, that our Mr. Lefroy has become quite a successful lawyer."
Even though it was true, for some reason, Henry's words rather embarrassed me. Maybe because it made me sound arrogant or something. But also, as successful career-wise as I was, it wasn't everything to me and I didn't want Jane to think that it was.
Then when Jane spoke up, "How wonderful for you Mr. Lefroy!" That didn't help my embarrassment.
Suddenly I heard Henry say "I think the two of you have some catching up to do. Eliza and myself will take charge of your young Jane Tom, while you visit. That is...if it is alright with you Tom...oh and of course Miss Lefroy."
It was as if he had read my mind...but after our own little talk, he knew that Jane and I needed to talk. I threw him a look of gratitude while I agreed that it was fine with me. And my daughter, I immediately replied for her.
Jane seemed shocked by this suggestion, almost...angry that Henry and Eliza were leaving her with me. Finally alone, I quickly I stepped closer to her and addressed her as gently as I could, "Miss Austen..." and then I practically whispered, "Jane..." Slowly, she turned to face me...