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Thank you! ;-D

CHAPTER 4:

(Jane)

I looked at Tom unable to utter a word. Had I heard him correctly? Was he proposing that we..."go away" together again? He couldn't have said what I thought he had said...

"I have already invited Henry and Eliza to stay at my place here in London for the duration of your trip. And..perhaps you could even stay a little longer than you had originally planned. They have already accepted. We only await your decision." Tom now explained.

I found myself able to breathe again. Admittedly, I was a bit relieved that he wasn't asking that I go away with him again for I honestly didn't know how I should have reacted to such an idea especially being that we had only been in each other's company for a very short time since we saw each other last.

"They don't want to stay without you." Tom added in a quiet voice.

It was now that I realized...Tom had a place here in London? What had happened to Ireland? I wondered.

"I'm sure your place is full enough with your children." I objected.

"My children stay with my family in Ireland, Jane. It would be impossible for me to work and look after my family at home."

"But your daughter is here." I pointed out.

"Jane is my eldest daughter and I allow her to stay with me in London from time to time." He explained.

"What about a governess? Surely you could afford one." I persisted, more out of curiosity than anything.

"My family offered first and personally I would rather have my children looked after by family."

I nodded my head in agreement. I could not blame him there, as even our own family has helped to look after my brothers children after they had lost their mothers and wives, until they got back on their feet again.

"And they are close by to their mother's family as well by living there. I have no wish to take them away from their mother's family."

Again, I acknowledged this with a nod of my head.

"Please Jane...it's been a long time. I would really like for us to get to know one another again." Tom pleaded with me.

But I was hesitant. At this stage in my life, did I want to go through another painful love affair? And with Tom again? Especially as it's obvious that I am not over him. Wouldn't it be better to make the break now? Yes, he had proclaimed his love for me...and his wife was no longer living. And he must no longer be needed to support his family as he had a family of his own to support and his siblings would be adults themselves now. But...what of his uncle? The one who had forbade our union? And other family members? I'm still a 'poor clergyman's daughter', beneath the Lefroy's standards, perhaps even more-so now that Tom had become a successful lawyer. THAT has not changed, so no matter how we might feel about each other, I could not see how there could be anything more between us than a friendship. And...am I ready to become 'just friends' with Tom Lefroy, the first man to whom I had really fallen in love with?

I looked at Tom now...I could see the beseeching look in his eyes...the same one he gave to me when he had come across myself and my brother George on a walk when he was back visiting family shortly after I had found out about his engagement...the same look when I left him part way through our "elopement" journey.

"No!" I suddenly recalled that particular moment, his exclamation full of emotion when I had stood up to leave...he had grabbed my hand to try to prevent me from leaving him. Both of these memories came rushing back to me, bringing on fresh pain. But perhaps it was because of those memories that I felt an urgency to change them, as I could not seem to forget them. (Especially as the person who was part of those memories was standing before me again now). Looking at Tom, I found that I couldn't reject him after all. And I felt a desire to change the look in his eyes.

"Please Jane..." he repeated quietly, still pleading with me.

"Alright." I finally gave my consent. "I must be completely mad! But then...perhaps I deserve it." I added to myself as I accepted whatever fate had in store for me for agreeing to his invitation.

But the instant change it brought to Tom's eyes and face made me feel like maybe...MAYBE it was the right decision after all. A lot HAD changed in 17 years, most especially for Tom of course. And after all, why shouldn't we be friends? I tried to convince myself. At least we can...I can TRY and be friends with him. We wouldn't have to stay long and at the end of our stay, I will either learn to be friends with him, or perhaps I will be able to part from him in a more positive way this time...a way that will not hurt.

"Come..." Tom said then with a smile on his lips. "Let us find the others and tell them of the good news." I walked towards Tom and as I did, he fell in step beside me as we went to search for Henry, Eliza and Young Jane.

We eventually came upon them in another part of the building, admiring some of the artwork on display. Apparently, the building was also an art gallery.

As Henry spotted us walking towards them, he called, "I see you have convinced my sister to join us for a visit at your place Lefroy. I can tell by the look on your face." He teased Tom with a grin of his own to which I felt myself blush slightly.

"I suggest we be on our way if you three are done looking at the art." Tom replied purposely ignoring Henry's remark.

"Of course we must go to the Inn of which we have been staying and collect our bags first." Eliza reminded everyone.

"I will take you over there myself in my carriage before we carry on to my place then." Tom offered firmly.

"I would like to ride with Miss Austen." Young Jane now dared to say, rather shyly.

I noticed her looking at me with a shy smile on her face. I returned the smile and replied. "And I would be honoured to ride with you, Miss Lefroy." To which Young Jane blushed with pleasure. "And you must sit next to me." I insisted. This would serve two purposes, to make Miss Lefroy happy and to keep Mr. Lefroy from being able to sit next to me.

The five of us left the building together and followed Tom to his carriage where, once he had helped me in and we were all seated, I noticed that, even though I was able to prevent him from sitting next to me, he was able to arrange it where he and I ended up sitting opposite each other. As Tom sat down, he gave me what I interpreted as a coy smile.

(Tom)

I don't know why those particular words came out. I hadn't intended to say them, they just...came out. I wondered if Jane had noticed? I saw her looking at me in a way that told me that she too had not forgotten. It wasn't that I wouldn't have wanted exactly that...for her to come away with me again, and this time, the ending would be different. It would be a different ending that would provide a new beginning for us. However, I knew that we needed to take the time to get to know one another again. To become comfortable with each other again. I also realized that because of how our break up had affected Jane, from what Henry had told me earlier, that I could not..should not rush Jane into anything like that again. As well, a lot had changed in 17 years and we weren't the young, carefree people we had been. I couldn't just take off on a whim like I could back then. I had a family and a career that I had to think about if I wanted to be able to marry Jane and give her a comfortable place in which to live and a comfortable lifestyle, something I was able to give her this time, something I was unable to give her the last time. And as long as I didn't do anthing to cause it to mess up. As eager as I was to make this come true for us, I also had my head together more this time than the last time. If I wanted to make it work for sure this time, I would have to be patient.

Quickly I explained to Jane what I had in mind. To have the three of them, Henry, Eliza and Jane all stay at my place for the rest of their visit and perhaps even longer, if they wished. I know that is what I wished for, an extended visit. I knew that Jane would never stay without Henry and Eliza and of course it was out of the question to ask a single lady to stay with a widowed man who was not a relative or an employee. At this stage of my life, I knew better than to risk my reputation as a well-respected lawyer and citizen. As Henry and Eliza had already agreed to this arrangement as long as Jane would, I only needed to receive Jane's acceptance.

"They don't want to stay without you." I said to her in a quiet voice. I held my breath as I waited for her reply.

I could see that a battle was waging within herself regarding my invitation, unsure of what she should do about it. I could tell by what she said next that I was right.

"I'm sure your place is full enough with your children." She replied. I was sure she was using the idea of my children as an excuse to turn me down.

"My children stay with my family in Ireland, Jane. It would be impossible for me to work and look after my family at home." I countered her quickly.

"But your daughter is here." She pointed out stubbornly. Ah, here is my Jane once again.

"Jane is my eldest daughter and I allow her to stay with me in London from time to time." I replied patiently.

"What about a governess? Surely you could afford one." She was being persistent now, I almost wondered if she was doing this to avoid giving me an answer to my invitation.

"My family offered first and personally I would rather have my children looked after by family." I answered her steadily.

This at least seemed to stop the flow of her questions. I took advantage of her silence as I begged her, "Please Jane...it's been a long time. I would really like for us to get to know one another again."

Jane continued to be silent. She seemed to be giving it a lot of thought. I was afraid of breaking that silence, lest it should push her in the opposite direction of what I was hoping for. But as much as I tried, I couldn't be silent. It seemed like she was taking forever to make up her mind...and I wanted her to come stay with me so much that finally I had to say something again.

"Please Jane..." I stopped here, biting my tongue to say anything further lest it push her over the edge...and the wrong edge at that.

When finally after what felt like an eternity and she agreed, I cannot even describe the emotions that ran through me then. Relief, joy, elation...those words just didn't seem to do justice to the way it made me feel when she finally consented. Feeling almost light headed but happy, I said smiling at her, "Come..let us find the others and tell them of the good news." I waited for Jane to come towards me and then I fell in step with her as she did.

We walked side by side companionably through the building until we found the others looking at some of the artwork that was on display. Upon noticing us, Henry said with a grin on his face, "I see you have convinced my sister to join us for a visit at your place Lefroy. I can tell by the look on your face."

I was never bothered by Henry's teasing of me and as I was quite happy, I chose to ignore him suggesting that we leave for my place, as I was quite anxious to have them all settled there as soon as possible. Eliza reminded us that they needed to retrieve their bags from their rooms as they would no longer be staying at the Inn. I offered to drive them over and then back to my place.

"I would like to ride with Miss Austen." My daughter now said shyly. She had loved Jane's book Pride and Prejudice and I could tell that she was becoming a bit "smitten" with the real Miss Austen.

For the second time that day, Jane touched my heart when she replied to my daughter in a kind and gentle manner, "And I would be honoured to ride with you, Miss Lefroy. And you must sit beside me."

The last part of her statement rather amused me because I had the feeling that it was a ploy so that I would not be able to sit next to her. I hid my smile as I helped both Jane and my daughter into the carriage arranging it so that I would be sitting across from Miss Austen instead as she had made sure that I would not be able to sit beside her. I cast Jane a bit of a triumphant smile as I sat down and faced her.