A/N Thanks for reading :D There's more to come so keep tuned, don't worry I wouldn't leave them in this state forever! :) Love reading your reviews – please let me know if you have any requests or ideas for where you would like this to go :)

Chapter 9

Neither of them said a word as they took the elevator upstairs to the roof where they could talk privately. The tension between them grew by the second, both of them on a knife edge ready to break, but trying to hold themselves together until they could have some privacy.

As soon as they had closed the door of the private CIA roof garden behind them and established that they were alone, Auggie turned furious eyes in the direction of Annie. Their body's faced each other, both defensive and poised for a fight. Annie knew by the tight lock of Auggie's jaw that she had pushed him too far this time. She had thought perhaps going out with Jai, even just as friends would finally spur Auggie to action but she had never seen Auggie this close to losing control. Usually his black op's special forces training kicked in earlier than this.

When he finally spoke, Auggie's voice was full of barely restrained anger at the way Annie had been ignoring him. Not to mention her date with Jai. He spoke slowly, the way he would speak to a child, each word enunciated clearly and precisely clipped.

"Help me understand, Annie. Two weeks ago you kissed me, then ran out of my office saying you weren't strong enough for something." He was breathing heavily from the exertion of trying to keep himself from losing control and kissing her properly right now. He needed answers first.

"Then, you proceeded to ignore me and act like nothing ever happened. I've tried to back off and give you space because I thought you'd come tell me what was going on when you were ready. But you haven't which means the only possible explanations are that either I've done something to hurt you or you're hiding something from me. So, tell me the truth Annie. What. Is going. On."

"Its embarrassing and I really don't want to talk about it. We're fine, Auggie, I just needed some space to clear my head." Annie looked up at him from beneath her long eyelashes and saw the pain and frustration in his eyes that her behavior had caused. Did she dare to be honest with him? No, he had his own new life. She couldn't risk letting herself get tossed aside like yesterday newspaper. He put his hand on her arm and faced her front on, not giving her the option of avoiding this confrontation.

"Yep, well, Annie. You've had some space. Now talk." His face was dead serious, she couldn't get out of this by brushing him off with a joke. But he did at least seem to genuinely want to know. So she gave him the real answer. Well, part of it.

"You chose work over me Auggie. I mean I get that it's a great promotion but you were my best friend and you didn't even think to discuss it with me before you made your decision - you just gave our friendship up without a second thought. I had honestly thought I meant more to you than that. But clearly I was wrong. I thought I could be strong enough to be that girl on the sidelines of your life who you could always rely on but then I saw you on TV doing that press conference and realized I would never be able to fully be part of your life again. It hurt." She could tell by his one raised, skeptical eyebrow that he wasn't buying her explanation. Of course, she had to choose to fall in love with a guy who's IQ was off the normal testing charts. He narrowed his eyes at her disbelievingly.

"A little bit of an overreaction from a work colleague don't you think? Or is there more to it? Because that still doesn't explain why you kissed me." All of a sudden Annie felt herself getting angry too. How dare he demand that she tell him. She didn't owe him anything. And he was the one who had chosen to leave her anyway.

"Oh, so now I'm just a work colleague. Nice to know where we stand Aug." She didn't mean for her voice to come out so bitter and hurt but she was done holding back, now he would get to see just how much he had hurt her. She went to storm out as tears started welling up in her eyes but Auggie reached out and grabbed her arm just tight enough to stop her from being able to leave.

"I'm done with this conversation Auggie. If I'm just a work colleague then why don't you tell ME why you're so worked up that I haven't spoken to you in a couple of weeks. That shouldn't even matter to you. And if I meant so much to you don't you think a little bit of warning that you were moving to a new job and that we would no longer be able to be friends would have been in order. You spent so much time telling me you wanted to get back into field work – was anything you told me about yourself even TRUE?" By the end of her rant she was yelling at him, not caring that his jaw was clenching and un-clenching in pain and a feeling of helplessness while she talked.

The raw pain in her voice broke his last thread of control and he pushed her against the chimney behind them, moved his hands up to her face and took a step forward to keep her pinned there with his body against hers. He spoke in a husky tone, his lips and inch away from hers. Not allowing her to move because she needed to hear this and he wanted her 100% attention.

"Lets just make one thing perfectly clear Annie. You are the most important person in my life, and I only took the job to save you. Back when your mission was compromised and I had promised to get you home safe. Did you honestly think I had access to top level black hawk military helicopters? I made a deal with Arthur. Your life in exchange for me giving up field work and taking this position. And I would do it again in a second if that was what it took to keep you safe. I care about you, Annie. If you had been killed I wouldn't have been able to live with myself." He could feel her soft breathing on his lips and feel her squirming slightly under his control. Without releasing her at all he closed the gap between their lips and kissed her, trying to say with his body all the things he could not put into words. By the time he pulled away both of them were gasping for air.

"Annie. I love you, and my new position isn't going to change that." He paused for a minute, not sure if he could go through with what he had to do next, but knowing that it was what was necessary to keep her safe. Annie's heart jumped into her throat at his words but she could sense that there was a 'but' coming that she was not going to like. Auggie continued, all previous anger gone, now left only with a gentle sense of futility and exhaustion.

"But my feelings for you don't change the fact that it's too risky for us to be anything more than friends. We would never be able to have a real relationship. I wouldn't be able to take you out anywhere, and any time we did get together would be within the walls of Langley. You deserve more than that." This was why he had kept her at a distance. It finally made sense to her. But she tried to look for a loophole nonetheless.

"But how about Arthur and Joan - she's a covert operative but she still gets to be seen with Arthur." Yes. There. It was possible. Auggie just needed to stop being so stubborn and stop trying to protect her like some sort of caveman. He just shook his head slowly.

"Sorry Annie, but that's an exception to the rule and it's highly dangerous. They were married before Arthur took his public role. The CIA created a whole cover story for Joan. As far as the public is aware she works for the World Bank. She doesn't go out on many missions now, most of her work is within Langley. And Arthur has to deal with her life being in danger every single time she is seen with him. I don't want that for you. You deserve to be with someone who can make you 100% part of their life. I couldn't do that for you." His eyes now contained immeasurable sadness. How could he be pushing her away like this if he truly loved her as he said he did? It made no sense. She tried once more to change his mind.

"We'll figure it out. There's gotta be a way to make it work." His response was to kiss her once more, gently, softly, but with finality as he pulled his body away from hers and took a step backwards.

"I don't think you understand, Annie. I can't be the man that you need. I can't be there to protect you on the field. This job I have now at least means I have the access to emergency extraction procedures if you are ever in danger again. But I can't be with you, not in the way that you want. Not if my existence in your life is putting you at risk. And that decision is irreversible."

This time Auggie was the one who turned and walked away.