A/N Did anyone else totally get heart palpitations from tonight's episode? Especially that hug. Nuf said. Also – the reviews I'm getting from you guys seriously make my day :) Thank you so so much!

Disclaimer: If I owned Covert Affairs...nope you know what, after watching the episode tonight – I probably wouldn't do anything differently – the writers are absolutely brilliant! They can keep it! I'll just play with the character they've created :)

Chapter 12

Annie stumbled into the office the next morning with bags under her eyes and her face buried in a cup of coffee. Joan immediately called her into her office.

"Have a seat Annie." She had no energy to resist or question the order, she nodded – and continued drinking her super sized coffee.

"Okay." Annie just hoped she wasn't in trouble. She didn't think she had done anything to break protocol recently but her brain was working in slow motion so she couldn't quite be certain. She was still overwhelmed by everything that had happened yesterday and she really wanted nothing more than to run over to Auggie's office and vent. He would have some lighthearted quips to make her feel better. And probably a large bottle of Patron. Except for the part where they weren't on speaking terms right now.

"I spoke to Auggie." That pulled her attention away from her coffee, and she hadn't thought that would be possible today. She swallowed quickly and looked at Joan with unconcealed and desperate curiosity.

"You did?" Joan nodded.

"Annie, how much has Auggie told you about how he went blind?" Okay, again the conversation had taken a turn she didn't expect. What did this have to do with anything?

"He gave me the full story a little while ago, why?" She frowned at Joan, a little confused as to why this was relevant. Joan met her gaze evenly and calmly. Did the woman never lose her cool? Apparently not.

"One thing you need to understand about Auggie, is that he still feels responsible for the way his unit were killed by that bomb. Survivors guilt, it's an extremely strong and difficult to deal with aspect of coming through a situation like that. Although he went blind, he feels guilty that they died and he didn't. Part of him feels like he should have died with them, although the other part of him feels that he owes it to them to live the most fulfilling life he can so that their death's weren't in vain." Interesting information. But not really useful at this point given that Auggie appeared to have no intentions of ever speaking to her again. Out loud she simply said,

"Okay...but what does that have to do with me?" Usually she would be quicker at connecting the dots but right now it felt like her brain was foggy and understanding teased at its edges, just beyond her grasp. Joan appeared to ignore her question as she continued speaking.

"He couldn't protect his unit. But part of him is always going to ask what if. Like...what if he had given them an order to stay in place instead of telling them to check out what turned out to be a trap. He feels responsible for their deaths." Annie blinked a few times and continued staring at Joan. Why did her head feel so useless this morning? She couldn't focus, and words weren't processing properly. Auggie had really done a number on her emotions if she couldn't even focus her mind for long enough to listen to her boss explaining something.

"I understand that but why are you telling me this now? Auggie and I aren't even speaking anymore." That much, at least, her bewildered brain appeared to have grasped. It was possibly the only thing it was capable of understanding at this point in time. At least until her triple shot of caffeine kicked in.

"Annie. He loves you, but because of the scars he still has from that event he's never going to be able to let himself knowingly put you in danger. And he feels that dating him would be too risky for you. You deserve to understand why, so that you are able to make an informed decision on what you want to do from here." Finally, something that made everything else tie together. Okay, this was about her and Auggie. Annoyingly, this information was going to make it hard to stay mad at him for the way he was treating her.

"I wasn't aware I had any options other than trying to forget about him and move on with my life. Although, I was kinda hoping that you could give me a long term op somewhere far away, preferably on an island with nice beaches where I would never have to see Auggie again." She half-smiled hopefully. Seriously though, a beach far away from Auggie sounded fantastic right now.

"We will back you up in whichever decision you make but personally I think Auggie needs you in his life. He might not let himself date you for now, but if you think you are strong enough for it, he is definitely still going to need your friendship." She couldn't be friends with Auggie while watching him go through his roster of girls, it would kill her inside. Her heart was damaged enough already.

"Joan, we don't really have any reason to be around each other anymore. And I definitely don't want to see him." Joan smiled gently in response and raised her eyebrow comfortingly.

"Are you sure about that Annie? Because I get the feeling you want nothing more than to see him, you're just scared that he doesn't truly love you." Bingo. Jackpot. Correct. Was she really that transparent? How embarrassing.

"Maybe. It's possible." There was no point in denying anything to Joan, the head of the DPD had instincts like a hawk.

"Annie, if I could tell you that I am absolutely certain that Auggie loves you and that deep down he wants to be with you. And if I told you that there may be ways to make it possible. How would you feel about spending time around Auggie under those circumstances?" Was that honestly a question that wanted a serious answer to?

"I'd want to see him right now if that was true." Not that it was a possibility. If he really loved her he wouldn't have walked away from her like that, no matter how afraid he was. At least, she didn't think he would have.

"Arthur and I have been talking, and it seems that a promotion to your position in the Smithsonian is in order. To something like, Special Advisor for the Congressional Acquisition of Art?" Joan handed Annie a manilla envelope.

"This contains the details of your new cover. I suggest you learn it quickly."

"Does that job even actually exist?" Annie was fascinated by this new turn of events. She had no idea how Joan had managed to pull this off so quickly but she was definitely not complaining.

"It's a position that has suddenly been found to be necessary. A top secret and confidential request was made for an assistant to one of the top level officials. Any background checks will find a long and detailed history of your phenomenal taste in art and extensive experience working in acquisitions for European Aristocracy. It will mean that you will have an excuse to spend time in the same social circles as Auggie. Even if he chooses to continue pushing you away. Which, quite frankly, I don't think he will be able to do for long." Annie looked down at the ground and shook her head as if to clear out the cobwebs hanging all around it.

"Why are you doing this for me?" This was definitely outside Joan's job description. The personal lives of agents were their own responsibility and the agency definitely did not usually expend resources to help agents with their relationships.

"The CIA looks after its own Annie. And it's hard enough to find someone you love in this line of work. We will do whatever it takes to give you and Auggie a chance. What you do with that chance will be up to the two of you. Now. Take a week's vacation, get some rest, and come back to work ready to show a certain stubborn young operative just what he is missing out on. You're dismissed."