CHAPTER 7:

Jane's POV:

What Tom had said astounded me. Surely...he was mistaken? I didn't know how to respond to that.

"I am so sorry for your loss Tom..." I repeated my earlier condolences. "The loss of your wife, Jane's mother, your children's mother. Your Jane is truly a delightful girl." I replied honestly. And she was. I confess that I couldn't help but like her.

"Thank you Jane. I..."

Here Tom was interrupted by one of his servants, a medium built man with thin, graying hair. "Sir, dinner is ready to be served if you and your guests are also ready."

"Thank you Berkley." Tom replied. "Now would be fine. Has Miss Lefroy come down?"

"At the moment, she is still upstairs with Anna. Do you wish for me to check on their progress?"

"Please do Berkley as I wish for my daughter to join us. We will proceed to the dining area while we await her. And Berkley, Miss Lefroy will be taking all of her meals with us while our guests are here."

"Very good, sir." Berkley bowed slightly before leaving the room.

Now standing up himself, Tom turned to us and said, "Come..." indicating that it was time for us to quit the room. He waited for me by the door way and when I reached him, he offered me his arm. "Miss Austen?" He said quietly with a slight bow.

As independent as I am, I knew it was bad manners to refuse a gentleman's arm when offered, so I bowed slightly back and ever so lightly placed my hand upon his arm. With Henry and Eliza following us, he led us to the dining area, a room I had not soon forgotten about...the room where in the past, we had shared a few pleasant meals with Tom's uncle before his uncle had received "the letter". It was the very room where Tom had started to try and tell his uncle of our intentions to marry...the room where upon reading said letter, his uncle started to abuse both Tom and myself. Even though Henry and Eliza and myself had been sitting outside the room, we could still hear plainly the damaging words that came from his mouth. It was the room where, after Tom's uncle had stormed out after his rant, I had entered to find out why his uncle had behaved in the way he had. It was also the room where Tom confessed to me that he had to do what he had to, for his family. At that time I had no idea just how much they had depended upon him and I felt that he was using his family as an excuse to not marry me. That as his uncle was so against a union between us, that he had in a sense, sided with his uncle. And because of that, it was the last time I had set foot in that place, the first time I had left Tom..."Goodbye Mr. Lefroy." I had said to him that day, feeling more deeply hurt by his refusal to stand by me, the one he was supposedly fond of enough to propose marriage to, despite all of the odds against us, than his uncle's abusive words about me...

As we approached the entrance of the room, I stopped. It had not been changed either. I felt Tom's free hand cover the one that was on his arm. "Are you alright?" He bent down slightly towards me to ask of me gently. I looked up at him. I could see the sympathy in his eyes. Of course he would not have forgotten either.

I straightened my back, stood tall and replied. "Yes, thank you. I'll be fine."

We proceeded into the room where Tom placed us all. He of course took the seat at the head of the table now and placed me on his right. Oh his left he placed Henry and beside him of course was Eliza. Young Jane came into the room just as we had all sat. Tom stood up and escorted his daughter to the seat beside me. Upon returning to his own chair, dinner was subsequently served where we engaged in small talk, but it was Henry and Tom who did much of the talking, catching up with each other as they hadn't had the chance to yet, while Eliza and myself listened on, putting in a comment here and there.

As much as I enjoyed the delicious dinner, and aside from the odd comment I contributed to Tom and Henry's conversation, I almost didn't even notice the wonderful food as I couldn't help but go over all that had transpired that day. It was almost like it was a dream and I was sure I would wake up and find myself back at home with Cassandra and our mother...

It was after our main courses had been served and been eaten that a lull in the conversation had happened when Tom's daughter spoke. "Father? May I please speak?" She asked pleasantly.

Tom looked at his daughter and nodded his approval. "Yes Jane, you may. What do you wish to say?"

"If Mr., Mrs. and Miss Austen are to spend Christmas with us in Ireland...couldn't we please have a ball whilst they are there?"

If I had been eating, I'm sure I would have choked on my food at her words just then. It was also probably a good thing that I held no cutlery in my hand for I'm sure I would have dropped it.

Tom and I quickly glanced at each other and then away. Tom looked back at his daughter. "A ball?" He managed to get out.

The suggestion of a ball brought back yet more memories...two very prominent memories to be exact. The first one being, where at a ball shortly after Tom had arrived to stay at his Aunt Anne and Uncle George Lefroy's, I had abused him to Eliza and Henry, while unbeknownst to myself, he had been listening. I was mortified that he should have heard me but my pride refused to let him see that I was. It was then that he said that he would be honoured to have next dance with me. He danced very well but our conversation during the dance was...shall we say...rather "competitive", each of us trying to upstage the other.

The second ball however was an entirely different story. We had become more amicable towards each other by this time and I looked forward to his being there, looked forward to more dancing with him. I barely managed to keep my disappointment in check when I did not see him in the ballroom, nor anywhere else I was able to look in the house. I was positive that I had seen him in the window upstairs as we alighted from our carriage. Of course, by this time, Mr. Wisley had made his proposal of marriage to me and everyone was certain I would accept him. Perhaps word of that had reached Tom, I remember thinking at the time, perhaps that was why he had not shown himself to me...but he had to know, that I would never, could never marry Mr. Wisley. Somehow I had to let him know that...I had to let him know that I could never, would never marry without affection and that was why, no matter how much money Mr. Wisley may have, I could never marry him.

I found myself back in the ballroom that night, bearing my disappointment. When Mr. Wisley asked me to dance again, I did my duty and stood up with him, but my heart was just not into dancing...not if Tom wasn't there...not if I wouldn't get the chance to dance with Tom...

And then...suddenly...he was there...he was there and dancing with me...almost as if it were a dream...I was never more surprised. This time, neither of us spoke. There didn't seem to be a need to. But we also could not seem to stop looking at each other...my heart quickening each time we looked into each others eyes...it was if we two were the only ones in the room...the only ones dancing...that was when my heart knew for sure...

"Yes... a Christmas Ball." Jane was saying now, bringing me back to the present. "Please father, we have not had one since mother..." here her voice trailed off, perhaps it was too sad for her to talk about her mother...or perhaps she was worried about how her father might react to her bringing up her mother, his wife. Or perhaps she was worried that her father might berate her for begging.

This caught my attention. I admit that the idea of Tom having something to do with the idea of having a Christmas Ball had crossed my mind, but when I looked at Tom again, really looked at him this time, I knew by the startled look on his face that he was completely innocent of it. I was immediately ashamed of my thoughts. As much as Tom might have a hand in certain things, he would never put his own child up to such a scheme, of that there was no doubt and I knew that. This was real.

I now turned to Jane and addressed her myself. "I think a Christmas Ball is a splendid idea myself. If your father approves, of course."

Jane's face brightened at my reply and both of us now looked at Tom, awaiting his decision. I think he felt that there could only be one answer and once he recovered from his initial shock of his daughter's idea, "Then a Christmas Ball we shall have." He promised with a smile which he beamed at first Jane and then myself which caused me to wonder if he too were remembering...

Jane was fairly bursting with happiness at her father's promise. "Thank you, father!" I found it hard for me not to smile at her enthusiasm.

"Dessert, coffee and tea will be served in the sitting room, Mr. Lefroy." Berkley now came into the dining area to announce.

"Thank you, Berkley." Tom dismissed him and then stood up, indicating that we retire back to the sitting room.

As Jane was with us this time, I reached for her hand to take in mine so that we could walk back to the sitting room together. Tom, I noticed this time, did not offer his arm, most likely because of Jane, I thought which was what I was sort of counting on. However I could tell by the look on his face that he was just as pleased to see me walking with Jane as he would be walking with my hand on his arm. Once again, Henry and Eliza followed while Tom brought up the rear.

Back in the sitting room, the evening was passed with more casual conversation as we enjoyed the lovely light desserts and hot beverages. Eventually Jane and myself took turns playing a little more on the pianoforte again with encouragement from the other three, Jane seemingly having become more accustomed to her small audience.

When it was time for her to retire for the night, she addressed Tom, "Father, I wish to ask Miss Austen a favour before I leave for the night."

"If it's alright with Miss Austen." Tom nodded his approval.

"Or course dearest, what is it you wish to ask?" I addressed Jane.

Almost shyly again Jane asked, "Would you please read for me once more?"

I couldn't help but smile at the child. "Of course. I would be happy to. You go and pick out what you would like for me to read and I shall read it for you."

Jane fairly skipped off to retrieve a book and was not long in coming back to me. As I was sat upon a small settee, I patted the place beside myself, indicating that she sit beside me again while I read. She opened the book and found the spot where she wanted me to start and I thus began.

I had no idea how long I should read but as it was time for Jane to go to bed, I decided I should keep it short. If I went on too long, I was sure that Tom would stop me. The passage turned out to be longer than I thought and as it was so interesting that I had lost myself in it and had forgotten all about the time myself, but no one stopped me. When I finished, I looked up and realized that I must have read for too long.

"Oh, I do apologize." I said earnestly. "I'm afraid I read for too long. Look at the child. Why she is almost asleep." For Jane was resting quite comfortably against me and just at that moment had yawned.

"It's alright Jane," Tom addressed me as he smiled. "I think we can overlook this as it was a treat for all of us once again."

I felt myself blush as his words.

Anna, who was the maid who looked after Jane, had been sitting outside the room in the hall awaiting to take her young charge and get her ready for her bed.

"You may come and take Jane up to bed with you now Anna." Tom said and Anna appeared, ready to do her job.

"Come along Miss..." she said gently taking Jane away from my side.

"Say good night to our guests like a good girl Jane." Tom instructed her.

"Good night Mr and Mrs. Austen." She murmured in a sleepy voice. "Good night Miss Austen."

"Good night, dear one." I smiled at her affectionately.

"Good night, Father."

"Good night, my love. Sleep well."

After Jane had left with Anna, the four of us started into another conversation for a bit until both Henry and Eliza declared that they too were ready to retire. It seemed like a good idea to myself as well and I got up when they did, ready to make my own way up to my room. I allowed them to leave the room before myself, but when I did, Tom said almost immediately after their departure, "Jane..."

"Mr. Lefroy..." I said, for the second time that day, cutting him off before he could get intimate with me, knowing that is exactly where he was going now that we were alone once again.

"Tom...please Jane, call me Tom...I would prefer it. At least when it's just the two of us."

"Please..." I started off more gently this time, purposely not saying his name at all this time, refusing to give him the satisfaction of me calling him Tom. "It's been a...a lot has happened today and I find that I am quite overwhelmed at the moment and I just wish to retire to my own room for some alone time."

I watched as I saw Tom's face fall slightly. I felt a bit guilty for being the cause of this, but I really needed some time and space now...to think...

But then Tom nodded his head slightly as if in agreement, "Of course. As you wish. Allow me to show you to your room at least. Your bags have already been placed there."

I could think of no reason to not allow Tom this, so we ascended the stairs together where he directed me to the very room I was in the last time..

"I hope it is alright that you should stay in the same room as the last time."

"It's fine.." I replied, not really surprised at this. Another thought struck me just then...or rather, a memory. This was the very room where I started on my Pride and Prejudice book...only I had called it "First Impressions" then. At least in this room there was one happy memory I thought to myself.

"Good night then Jane.." Tom turned to go towards his own room.

"Tom...?" I asked quietly.

"Yes?" He turned back.

"I wish to write a letter to my sister Cassandra to let her know of the change in our plans. Is there still pen and paper in the room do you know?"

"I haven't actually been in that room for quite some time. Do you wish me to check?" Tom offered.

I stepped aside and allowed him to enter the room. He went over to the writing desk and checked through the cabinets and drawers, eventually finding everything I would need including an envelope and sealing wax.

"Thank you, Tom." I said sincerely with a smile on my face.

"You're welcome. And now I bid you a good night. Good night Jane..."

"Good night Tom." I said as he closed the door on his way out.

I first got myself ready for bed before I sat down and started my letter to my sister.

"My dearest Cassandra:

You will never guess where I am writing you this letter from...nor what has all happened to me in the course of less than a day...

Tom's POV:

My words to Jane seemed to have put her at a loss for her own words I realized, for she repeated herself.

"I am so sorry for your loss Tom...The loss of your wife, Jane's mother, your children's mother. Your Jane is truly a delightful girl."

I could tell that Jane was being sincere when she said that my daughter is truly delightful. For myself, it was a most wonderful sight to see and to know how well my daughter and the elder Jane were getting along.

I was about to continue on with how things had been with my daughter upon the death of her mother, but I was interrupted by my servant, Berkley about dinner being served. It would have to wait for another time then. I summoned my guests to join me in the dining area for our evening meal.

I purposely awaited for Jane by the door and held out my arm for her to take as she came by, "Miss Austen?" I said quietly and with a slight bow. I knew that she was too well bred to refuse to take my arm, knowing that such an act would generally be frowned upon. Lightly, she placed her hand upon my arm and we lead the way to the dining area. I knew as soon as Jane had come to a stop at the doorway of the dining room, what was going through her mind. I felt for her. For me, being here over time had helped to ease the pain of that time when she was here last but it was the first time she had been there since she had left after my uncle's uncalled for actions.

"Are you alright?" I asked her, sympathetically wishing I could somehow ease her own pain...erase those memories from her mind.

"Yes..I'll be fine." She tried to assure me. I understood what she really meant.

I had already had it planned out in my mind that Jane was to sit on my right and my daughter would sit beside her. As soon as I finished placing everyone, our meal was served and Henry engaged me in conversation, wishing to catch up with me as we had had no chance to do so yet. It was a conversation that I thoroughly enjoyed for I had always liked Henry's friendship.

Finally after we had eaten our fill and there was a bit of a lull in Henry's and my conversation, my daughter turned to ask permission to speak which I allowed.

"If Mr., Mrs. and Miss Austen are to spend Christmas with us in Ireland...couldn't we please have a ball whilst they are there?"

Quickly I looked at the elder Jane whom I saw was also looking at me. Just as quickly, we both looked away, I looked back at my daughter. "A ball?" I just barely got out. The request my daughter had just asked for astounded me...the balls at which Jane and I had danced together at came rushing back to me. The first one, I remember watching her dance with Wisley who had inadvertently stepped on her foot. I admit now that I was not very kind, as I tried to hide my laughter...not so much at Jane, but at Wisley and his attempt to dance. My real reason for laughing at the poor fool was that I was jealous...jealous to see him dancing with her. But when that incident happened and I could see that Jane was not impressed with Mr. Wisley, I took it upon myself to search her out and ask her for the next dance. I came upon her, Henry and Eliza talking, she had not seen me yet, but I could hear plainly her abuse of me. I could have been angry with her, but I wasn't for I knew that she was right. I deserved every word she had said about me. I believe that moment was the first moment I realized that Jane was different from any other person of the fairer sex that I had ever known..

At last Henry brought me to her attention...she knew I had heard everything she had said, but instead of turning it into an awkward situation, I took it upon myself to relieve the awkwardness and told her that I would be honoured if she would dance with me next. She accepted and we soon found ourselves facing each other on the dance floor. I felt that we danced well together, but our conversation was one that was...unique. It was during this particular conversation that I discovered Jane's true character which was everything that I had grown to love about her...that she was spirited, independent, and a challenge.

By the second ball, we had become more friendly towards one another, but something had happened in-between the two balls...I had learned from my aunt Anne that Mr. Wisley had proposed marriage to Jane. Everyone who had learned of it had expected that because of her situation, she had surely accepted his offer by now...and he had the kind of money that I could not compete with at the time...it was because of this that I could not face her at first, at the second ball. I watched from a room upstairs and had seen her arrive, but I didn't have the heart to go and meet her. But a little later on, when I was with my aunt Anne and young cousin, Lucy had said, "She should accept him at once." I realized that meant that Jane had not in fact accepted Wisley's proposal as of yet. Hope surged into my chest at that moment and I left them to go and find Jane. I saw her on the dance floor with Wisley getting ready for the next dance. I quickly found myself a partner and we joined in. I could only hope that our position in the dance line would mean that her and I would eventually end up together. Luck was on my side. Suddenly we were there together, dancing again. There seemed to be no need for any words between the two of us this time, but I could not take my eyes off of her for very long either...she looked so lovely that night...

"Yes... a Christmas Ball." Jane was saying now, bringing me back to the present. "Please father, we have not had one since mother..." Here in mid sentence she stopped her flow of words but only she knew why.

Before I could say anything, the elder Jane turned to my daughter and said, "I think a Christmas Ball is a splendid idea myself. If your father approves, of course."

Trust Jane, I thought to myself, with a bit of smile tugging at the corners of my lips. "Then a Christmas Ball we shall have." I vowed.

To dance with Jane again...was indeed a very wonderful thought...and this time, like everything else, it would be different for us. I had to admit that I liked the idea of the Christmas Ball myself. And apparently, so did the elder Jane.

"Thank you, father!" Jane gushed happily.

Before I could reply, Berkley was there announcing the dessert and hot beverages would be served back in the sitting room. I replied to him, dismissing him and gestured for everyone to join me in back in the sitting room. Jane I noticed, grabbed my daughter's hand...I felt she had done that on purpose to perhaps keep me from escorting her back to the sitting room. That was fine with me, I was happy enough with how everything was going. There would be plenty of opportunities to escort Jane.

The first part of the evening was spent pleasantly enough with more conversation and music played on the pianoforte between my two Janes. In between there was our lovely light desserts along with coffee and tea to sample and enjoy.

When I knew it was time for Jane's bed time, she asked if she might ask a favour of Miss Austen. When I gave her my permission, she asked Jane if she would read for her once more. Jane replied that she would be happy to and told Jane to bring back whatever she wanted her to read. When she came back, Jane patted the empty place beside herself indicating for Jane to sit down beside her and began to read. This time, I merely enjoyed watching my daughter and Jane sit comfortably and companionably side by side. Even though I knew that time was getting on, I decided not to interrupt the two of them but allowed Jane to continue on with her reading as I wouldn't have changed the image of the two of them sitting there together for the world. Even when it was becoming obvious that my daughter was getting sleepy and started leaning more heavily against Jane...my heart was fairly brimming over as I watched the two of them together.

Finally Jane realized that she had read for too long and apologized for it. I told her not to worry about it as it had been a treat for all of us. I called Jane's maid Anna in to take her up to bed and gently reminded Jane to say good night to everyone which she obediently did.

The four of us continued on with a little more conversation when both Henry and Eliza informed me that they too were ready for their bed.

Ah...I had been waiting for this...more time to be alone with Jane. There was more I wished to talk with her about in private.

"Jane..." I started, but for the second time that day, she cut me off.

"Mr. Lefroy..."

"Tom...please Jane, call me Tom...I would prefer it. At least when it's just the two of us." I begged of her. I wanted her to call me Tom all of the time in fact, but at least we could start with it being all of the time in private.

"Please...It's been a...a lot has happened today and I find that I am quite overwhelmed at the moment and I just wish to retire to my own room for some alone time." She told me in a gentle tone.

I will not say that I was not disappointed...I was. But I also understood how after a day like today, she would feel just like that. I knew I should honour her request. And tomorrow was another day. She and I WOULD have our chance for some more private talks. I was going to make sure that happened.

"Of course. As you wish. Allow me to show you to your room at least. Your bags have already been placed there." I agreed.

Jane did allow me this much. I had put her in the same room as the last time. I had hoped that would be okay with her.

"I hope it is alright that you should stay in the same room as the last time."

"It's fine.." Was her reply. She seemed genuinely fine with it.

I opened her door, the candles already having been lit by Anna, knowing that we too would be coming soon to bed.

"Good night then Jane.." I said turning to go towards my own room.

Suddenly I heard a quiet, "Tom...?"

"Yes?" I turned back a little eagerly.

"I wish to write a letter to my sister Cassandra to let her know of the change in our plans. Is there still pen and paper in the room do you know?"

"I haven't actually been in that room for quite some time. Do you wish me to check?" I offered.

Jane stepped aside and allowed me to enter the room where I went over to the writing desk and checked through the cabinets and drawers and eventually found everything she should need for her letter.

"Thank you, Tom." She said appreciatively with a smile on her face.

"You're welcome. And now I bid you a good night. Good night Jane..."

"Good night Tom." She said as I closed the door after I quitted her room.