Becoming Jane: A Love Lost and Found Chapter 8, a becoming jane fanfic

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CHAPTER 8:

Jane:

I didn't know where at first when I awoke the next morning, I had really had fully expected to wake up at my home in Chawton with Mama and Cassandra. I must have been trying to convince myself that the previous day had all been a dream, during the night.

Then when I was more awake, I sat up and looked about my room and first thought perhaps I had gone back in time of about 17 years...

I got up out of bed and as I did, I noticed the letter I had written to Cassandra the night before on the writing table. I had not yet sealed the envelope so I picked it up, took it out and read what I had written, sitting back down on the bed as I did, finally coming to terms with the truth. I could no longer deny it. I was here, in London with Tom Lefroy at his place.

It was at this time that I heard voices from below and hastened myself to get dressed. When I felt myself presentable enough, I placed my letter back in it's already addressed envelope, sealed it and brought it with me downstairs.

Tom happened to be standing not too far from the staircase and he looked up when he heard me as I descended.

"Good morning, Miss Austen." He smiled as he greeted me with a slight bow.

I was surprised to hear Tom being so formal with me again as he had been so insistent that I call him "Tom" the night before..at least in private. But perhaps this wasn't private enough then. That suited me fine.

"I hope you slept well?" He went on.

"Good morning, Mr. Lefroy. Yes, thank you. I slept quite well." I answered him returning his bow.

Tom now looked down at my hand and noticing the letter he called, "Berkley!" who appeared at his side almost instantly.

"Yes sir?"

"Miss Austen has a letter ready that she wishes to send to her sister. Please take care of it immediately."

"Right away, sir."

I handed my letter to Berkley who bowed to me upon receiving it.

"Thank you Berkley." I said graciously.

He bowed again before leaving us.

Tom held out his arm to escort me back to the dining area where the others were already up and awaiting breakfast. On our way, I couldn't help but ask of Tom as I had been curious. "Mr. Lefroy..."

"Yes, Miss Austen?"

"What about your work?" Wouldn't he have to work while we were there?

"Whenever Jane visits I always take some time off so that I can be with her." Was his reply.

"Of course." I should have thought of that.

"I still do have to do some work while she is here from time to time as I cannot neglect it the entire time."

"No, I imagine not."

We had arrived back at the dining area where I exchanged morning greetings with the other three as Tom seated me in the same place as the previous night. It was obvious that we were all to have the same seating at the table for the duration of our visit.

Breakfast was a pleasant affair as we all engaged in small talk and Jane listened in. I had wondered if Tom had any plans for his unexpected company or if we would just let things happen as they may.

After breakfast, we all stood up to leave the room but just as Tom was about to escort me out, Jane had come up to him. I felt that she wanted to tell or ask him something in private so I left the room and followed Henry and Eliza.

It was only a matter of a couple of minutes when both Tom and Jane came up from behind me.

"Miss Austen..." he addressed me.

I stopped and turned. "Yes, Mr. Lefroy?"

"I hope you won't find it an inconvenience but my daughter has reminded me of your promise to help her to play the piano. Would it be alright if you give her a small lesson right now?"

I had forgotten all about my promise...well, now was as good a time as any to see how I would fare there. A bit wary, but determined, I replied. "Of course. Come Miss Lefroy, let us see what we can do, shall we?"

Once again, I took the delighted child's hand into mine and we proceeded to the sitting room. Thankfully, the others politely stayed away from the room, for I certainly did not need an audience for my first piano teaching. I'm sure I would have failed miserably if they had stayed.

Before they left us, Tom found us another seat and placed it at the piano. Jane and myself now took our seats. I asked her to show me how much she knew and then I in turn played a small piece for her.

During the course of our lesson, I came to realize that Jane was a very good student. She listened well and seemed not only eager to learn, but she was quick to learn as well. I was very impressed with how much she was able to pick up by the end of our lesson.

Our lesson ended when Tom came in, giving us applause, slightly startling both of us. "That will do for one day. You've done very well." He said, including both of us in his words.

We both stood up and bowed slightly to Tom.

Jane then left the room and I turned to Tom. "Your Jane is a wonderful student." I told him honestly. "She is both eager to learn, and quick to learn."

"I think her teacher may have something to do with it." He replied gently with a smile.

I was feeling quite happy with how well I had done with the lesson but I felt my face get hot at his praise, something I seemed to be doing a lot lately I noted, which caused me become a bit flustered and a bit defensive.

"Oh no, she truly is gifted." I countered firmly, wishing to take the attention away from myself on this matter.

Perhaps Tom had sensed my awkwardness for he said no more about it.

"Where have Henry and Eliza got to?" I now asked quickly, taking the opportunity to get away from the topic.

"It is such a fine morning that I took them out back into the garden."

There was a garden here? I didn't recall one from the last time. But then we had been so busy and...our stay didn't actually last as long as we thought..or hoped it would..

I looked at Tom questioningly. "Being in the city it's not a big one of course, but there is one back there none the less."

"Oh, I should like very much to see it." I enthused, where upon, Tom held out his arm for me once again and I took it without even thinking this time.

"Then see it, you shall."

Tom was right, it was a small garden, but a fine garden with the flowers a couple of trees. Henry and Eliza were even seated at a small white table with four matching chairs. We joined my brother and sister in law.

"This is lovely Tom." I replied using his first name without even thinking as I looked around the garden in delight. "I do enjoy being out of doors whenever possible. I suppose it's because I have always lived in the country near small places and have spent a lot of time out of doors."

"Plus you wanted to keep up with your brothers. You always were a bit of a..pardon the term, Tom... but 'Tom-boy', Jane." Henry teased me and then also slyly gave me a small wink. I took that to mean that "Tom-boy" was supposed to have a double meaning.

"Henry, really." Eliza reprimanded him lightly.

"Oh, don't worry about him, my dear cousin." I replied gaily. I felt in such good spirits just then, that even Henry's teasing couldn't embarrass me. "After all Eliza dear, you must remember when Cassandra and I would dress Henry up so that he could have a part in our plays while we were growing up."

To this, Eliza smiled and nodded he head. "Ah yes...I do recall that now."

"And in fact, he insisted on being in our plays no matter what part he had to take, even if that meant playing the part of a female. I don't recall him protesting at all about being made up to be a girl. Do you Eliza?"

"No, I confess that I don't." She replied with sincerity to which I threw her a grateful look.

Apparently, our conversation caught Mr. Lefroy's attention for now he said, "What pray is this all about? Please do fill me in!" He insisted, which lead to a jovial discussion of the Austen family's activities whilst we were growing up, putting on plays for our parents and other family members. Henry himself, laughing at his own antics during those days of old.

As our conversation of that time in our lives drew to an end, Tom changed the subject and made a suggestion, "As it looks to be another fine day, perhaps we can all take the carriage after lunch this afternoon over to the park nearby and enjoy the afternoon by having a walk."

"I would enjoy that." I'm sure my face brightened at his idea. It would be wonderful to be out on such a day. I think I was beginning to feel the need to get out and be able to walk about.

Tom definitely seemed pleased to make me happy.

Suddenly another memory came to my mind...a...I don't know if "happy" would be the correct word, but definitely a "funny" one. It would be the second time that Mr. Lefroy and myself would meet, the next day, after my reading. I was out enjoying a walk when I happened to hear a noise in the brush to my right and saw that Mr. Lefroy had also decided to go for a walk. Only...for some reason I could not fathom, he had somehow gotten off of the path and was beating around in the brush not too far away from me. As I had overheard his unkind words in regards to my reading the day before, he was the last person I had wished to talk to, so I kept myself as quiet and out of sight as was possible as I continued on so as not to bring any attention to myself. At one point, I noticed that he had slipped...or perhaps he had tripped and had fallen. I confess that I was meanly glad of this, thought that he deserved it in fact and I would have even laughed out loud at him had I not been trying to keep from his noticing me. However, luck was not on my side and he would spot me. "Miss! Miss! Miss!" He had called out trying to get my attention. I had tried in vain to ignore him, but as he kept on calling out to me-and I also didn't want to appear as rude as himself-I gave in, replied as politely as I would allow myself to him and tried to be on my way, but he refused to let me get away that easily...

"Jane? You have such a smile on your face." Eliza's voice brought me back to the present.

Did I? I was undoubtedly smiling at the memory, but I couldn't tell them that, so I quickly but firmly answered, "I am smiling at the anticipation of our afternoon walk in the park."

Tom:

I closed Jane's door and thoughtfully made my way back to my own room. I had to admit that I was suddenly feeling a bit overwhelmed at the day's events myself..but it was a feeling that I would gladly take. Everything had gone so well, better than I had thought it would if I am to be honest I couldn't help but think as I got myself ready for bed. But once in bed, I couldn't fall asleep right away. I couldn't help but think...what if I had missed seeing them, only by a few mere minutes or seconds? What if I hadn't decided to take Jane out for lunch today? What if I hadn't followed them? What if they hadn't spotted me? What if Henry hadn't come after me? What if...? These were the kinds of thoughts that were going through my mind. If anything had happened in any other way, or at any other time, I would never have seen Henry, Eliza and Jane at all. I would never have known that they were even in London and they would not be here at my place now. I couldn't help but believe that fate had a hand in this. THIS was meant to be...Jane and I...we had been given the miracle of a second chance. THIS time it was going to happen. THIS time, there was nothing to stand in our way. With this happy thought, I finally drifted off to sleep, also aware of the fact that my beloved Jane slept in a room only a few mere feet away from myself..

The next morning as I awoke before my guests, I aroused myself from my bed and dressed so as to be already for them for when they should come down. Anna had seen to my daughter Jane who was also already up, ready to meet our company. I met her downstairs and we exchanged our good morning greetings. I also decided to see about the breakfast meal. I had just finished consulting with the cook in the kitchen when Henry and Eliza appeared downstairs. We too exchanged our good mornings, then I told them and my daughter to please be seated in the dining area and enjoy some coffee or tea while we awaited Jane and our breakfast. I promised to join them momentarily. I wasn't standing too far away from the stairs when I heard a noise on the stairs. I looked up to see that Jane was also up and about now. I smiled up at her and greeted her, this time reverting back to the formal address. I had been thinking that perhaps I had been a bit too cocky last night in pleading with her to use my first name. I was thinking that perhaps I shouldn't be pushing the "first name" idea on her, so I once again addressed her as "Miss Austen". I decided that I would follow where she would lead in that direction. After our exchanges were out of the way, I noticed the envelope in her hand and remembered that she had wished to write to her sister the night before. I immediately called for Berkley to take care the letter for Jane and then offering my arm to her, we started towards the dining area. On the way, Jane had asked me about my work. I understood that she was asking if I would need to work while they were there. I explained that whenever Jane was visiting, I took some time away from work so I could spend it with her.

Upon arriving at the dining area where Jane exchanged her morning greetings with the other three, I sat her down at the same place as the night before, wanting to make it clear that that was to be her place for every meal at my place for as long as she was there.

We enjoyed a lovely breakfast filled with more enjoyable conversation shared between the four of us. After we had eaten our fill, I gestured that we remove ourselves from the room. I admit that as my guests were unexpected, I hadn't any plans as to what we should do to entertain ourselves, but at that moment, my daughter pulled me aside and asked of me quietly.

"Do you think it would be okay if Miss Austen helps me with the piano now, father?"

Ah, now here was something. After all, Jane had promised and as there was nothing else planned for the time, it might be an idea. I now called out to Jane. "I hope you won't find it an inconvenience but my daughter has reminded me of your promise to help her to play the piano. Would it be alright if you give her a small lesson right now?"

She looked just slightly surprised...she may have forgotten about her promise. But I knew Jane well enough to know that she would never go back on a promise. She didn't disappoint me.

"Of course. Come Miss Lefroy, let us see what we can do, shall we?" She replied, taking my daughter by the hand and led her into the sitting room where the pianoforte was. I realized then that they would need another chair and went to fetch one for them. I watched them sit down together at the piano, and then politely retreated from the room. I figured that they wouldn't need an audience to distract them from the lesson as much as I would have loved to have listened in.

It was then that I thought of showing Henry and Eliza the small, but lovely garden out back while my two Janes were busy at their lesson. They readily agreed and I lead the way out back.

"Why this is delightful, Tom!" Eliza exclaimed looking around my garden.

"It is small, but as it's usually only myself or myself and Jane, there is no need for it to be bigger." I replied. "There is a small table and some chairs where we can sit down at and visit some more." I said as I lead the way over to the table and chair set, where we all sat down, this time Henry and myself engaging in an amicable discussion about politics. I had not told them yet, but I was considering becoming part of the Parliament back in Ireland once I was re-settled there and I was interested in Henry's view points. I also encouraged Eliza to partake in the conversation, which she did occasionally.

I found it quite interesting to talk with Henry about politics and the time had passed swiftly. I had hoped for that so that I could call my two Janes away from their music lesson. When Henry and I had discussed it as far as we could for the time being, I told Henry and Eliza that I would go and fetch Jane from the lesson ask her to join us.

I could hear music playing on the piano when I entered the house and moved towards the sitting room. I couldn't help but just stand in the doorway and watch the two of them sitting companionably side by side at the piano, making music together, as I had pictured in my mind the previous day when my daughter Jane had asked if "Miss Austen" would teach her to play like herself. I allowed them to finish the song and as much as I would have loved to have just stayed there and let them continue on, I knew that Henry and Eliza would wonder at what was taking us so long...so regrettably, I clapped my hands in appreciation (and to let them know that I was there) and told them that was enough for one day and that they had done very well. My two girls stood up and we all bowed slightly to one another and then my daughter left the room giving us a few moments alone.

Jane turned to me and praised my daughter's playing. "Your Jane is a wonderful student. She is both eager to learn, and quick to learn."

"I think her teacher may have something to do with it." I replied honestly with a smile.

"Oh no, she truly is gifted." Jane said blushing a bit.

I could tell that my words had embarrassed her and as I did not wish to make her any more uncomfortable, I didn't say anymore.

Jane took this opportunity to ask where Henry and Eliza were. I explained that they were in garden in the back of the building. I noticed the puzzled expression on her face and realized that she hadn't even known that we had one. Of course...the last time I was never really given the chance to show it to her...

"Being in the city it's not a big one of course, but there is one back there none the less." I explained.

"Oh, I should like very much to see it." She eagerly told me.

I of course was more than happy to show it to her. I held out my arm and was pleasantly surprised that she should take it without any hesitation this time. "Then see it, you shall." I remarked as I lead the way.

Once outside, we went straight over to where Henry and Eliza were sitting.

"This is lovely Tom." She remarked after I sat her down. I was happy to hear her use my first name this time. "I do enjoy being out of doors whenever possible. I suppose it's because I have always lived in the country near small places and have spent a lot of time out of doors." She carried on.

I had known that...when I was visiting my aunt Anne and uncle George Lefroy near their place, I came to see for myself how the people living in the country enjoyed being out of doors. They also liked to walk a lot...something I was not at all accustomed to at the time. But I came to appreciate the value of the outdoors and exercise while I was there. Perhaps this was even a bit of Jane's influence on me. It was also the reason why I had decided to buy a country home in Ireland, not too far outside of Limerick so that I would still be close to my work but would have a big garden with plenty of space in which to enjoy the country. And it proved to be a good thing to have for my children as well. I could see how it also benefited them. Thinking about this gave me an idea...

While I had been thinking, I had barely caught what seemed like Henry teasing Jane, but Jane, as usual was quick to tease him back with a statement that caught my attention.

"What pray is this about? Please do fill me in!" I exclaimed with interest. I had never heard about the young Austen children and their play. I listened with interest and laughed good naturedly along with them. It was the most I had heard Jane laugh in quite some time...

When this particular conversation seemed to be coming to an end, I brought up my idea to the rest of them. "As it looks to be another fine day, perhaps we can all take the carriage after lunch this afternoon over to the park nearby and enjoy the afternoon by having a walk."

Jane's face fairly glowed with this idea which pleased me to no end. "I would enjoy that." she assured me with a smile. I smiled back at her. I was glad that I was doing some things right again in regards to her.

The Austen children really did spend their time putting on plays for their family/friends. (What else do you do back in the days long before electricity and all of the technology of today!).

Tom Lefroy did become a member of Parliament in Ireland, along with his successful career as a lawyer.

ADDITIONAL NOTES: