Brace For Impact

"An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard one side of the case. God has written all the books."

-Samuel Butler

To Catch a Vampire

Chapter Eight

"Two bourbons, neat," Damon tells the bartender without preamble as he slid onto his usual seat at the Grill's bar. He pushed down a wince at the movement. Elena and Stefan had refused to give him any more blood since it was not a life-threatening injury, and they were still going on about how he was going to go all Kamikaze on them.

He noticed Mystic Falls' Most Valuable Quarterback staring at him from the other side of the bar but chose to ignore him. Having a one on one chat with Matt Donovan could actually be the final straw in making this the worst fucking week of his would be eternity.

But since luck had not been on his side for as long as he can remember, he saw the Mystic Grill uniform move closer to him. The other bartender placed his drinks down before him, and Damon edged one towards the vacant seat beside him.

Bracing himself for what would almost certainly be a painful conversation, Damon downs his bourbon in one quick gulp before turning to the kid.

Matt was gaping at him stupidly, frozen in front of him. What the hell is his problem? Damon thinks irritated.

"It's rude to stare, you know," Damon remarked offhandedly. That forced Quarterback out of his daze.

"Uh right, I just thought I'd warn you that Mayor Hopkins came by and put vervain in all our drinks, but I guess maybe he missed one…?" Matt trailed off uncertainly.

Damon knew the truth though. Vervain just would not affect him any more since he had been cured. He would have to warn Elena, Stefan and Caroline after he left though. He sighed. He felt pathetic for not even being able to notice that there was vervain in his drink at all. His senses were pitifully dull now.

He could not stay like this.

Matt had apparently decided that was not all he wanted to say to him unfortunately. "So I heard from Caroline that you took Elena out of town." He paused there as if he actually expected Damon to say something in return. "I was wondering, how is she?" Matt asked genuinely albeit hesitantly.

"Super duper and walking on sunshine," Damon replied sarcastically while signaling the bartender who was actually doing his job to refill his glass.

Matt opened his mouth, probably to say something to prove how sincerely he wanted to know about Elena's wellbeing or maybe just to call Damon a dick when he paused. He was staring at Damon's fingers wrapped around the now full again glass.

"Hold on, why are you wearing Jeremy's ring?" Damon looked down to where the jock's gaze was focused on. Upon returning to Mystic Falls, Damon went to the hiding place where he had stashed the thing after Elena tossed it to him during her meltdown. He had intended to give it back to her when she had her humanity back, but he had decided that he should start wearing it just in case Elena was wrong about him being too "unnatural" for it to work. It looked kind of strange to be wearing two, distinctive, bulky rings at the same time. But Damon could not bring himself to take off his daylight ring even though he did not need it anymore. He had been wearing it for a hundred and fifty years after all. Besides, if he got his way, Damon would need it again soon enough.

Damon was spared from answering when Vampire Barbie burst through the doors of the Grill and called out to him.

"Greetings, Blondie," he says while wagging his eyebrows in a way he knew the vampire in front of him would hate. Caroline did not look angry with him, which was always a rare occasion. Though he did enjoy riling her up, so maybe he would change that.

Caroline's face was actually drawn in concern, and he could only hope that Stefan and Elena had made good on their promises to keep his… condition a secret for now. The last thing he wanted was for Klaus or any of the numerous other people who would delight in killing him to know he was vulnerable. Fortunately, he was sure Little Miss Sunshine would never be that concerned about his wellbeing anyway.

"What happened while you were away?! You just take off with Elena without a word and then Stefan tells me you're in New York for whatever reason. But you're only gone for half a day before something causes Stefan to totally freak out and up and leave. Then all three of you return as if nothing is weird- though it so is- but Stefan is obviously going crazy over something. And then Elena is also acting really strange. She was all quiet bitch and now she is all…" Caroline struggles to explain Elena's current state of mind, wildly waving her arms as if to indicate something, "Worried? I don't know, but it's not the same as she was twenty-four hours ago. She's super on edge, and Stefan's just so much worse. I'm worried about him!" Damon tried to fight the grimace making its way to his expression at Caroline's words about the people he cared most about- and the fact that she is invading his personal space, loudly ranting in his face. Damon's pretty sure he is losing that battle though. "And oh my god, I just know something horrible happened again, and they won't tell me!"

Well, at least his brother and Elena were good for their words on this.

When he failed to answer, Caroline let out an irritated huff before she reached across for Damon's newly filled drink.

"You don't want to do that," Damon warned, but Caroline only tossed him a smug look. She thought he was speaking up about having his drink taken, not because Damon was trying to help her out. Oh well, she'll learn the hard way, Damon thought carelessly.

As he expected, the second the liquid graced her lips, she froze and starting coughing and choking uncontrollably.

"What the hell, Damon?" She hoarsely whispered, "Why are you drinking vervain-filled bourbon?" Some of the patrons had looked up during her fit, but after Damon pretended to pat her back reassuringly, they all returned to their own business.

"I tried to tell you," Damon smirked at her, "Mister Mayor has apparently decided that if he can't spike our water supply, he'd just dump vervain in every drink at the only bar in this town."

"But you were just drinking it without a problem!" Matt complained.

'Was I?" Damon responded in a blasé manner without sparing the dumfounded teenager a glance.

Matt turned and started apologizing to the still gasping blonde. "Care, I am so sorry. I should have warned you, but when Damon drank it without getting burned, I just assumed the Mayor had missed a bottle."

"Wait, you drank that, Damon?!" Caroline was staring at him in open-mouthed disbelief. Damon attempted to disregard her fevered attempt at answers and just reached towards Ric's untouched bourbon. When he just started drinking it casually, Caroline exclaimed, "What the hell? I know your vervain tolerance isn't that good!"

Damon studiously ignored the confusion emanating from both of them and asked an actually important question. "Have either of you seen Bonnie in the last couple days?"

Matt was squinting at him bewildered, he was clearly still lost in the last couple minutes' events. Caroline, on the other hand, was easily distracted by his question.

"Don't think I'm letting you off the hook just yet, you're going to spill your guts by the time I'm through with you!" Great, he couldn't wait, he thought sarcastically. "But to answer your question, no. I think someone else has, right?" She posed her uncertainty to the other two.

"Who else would have checked up on her, Blondie? The hero squad is not exactly functioning at full capacity right now."

"Well, I was busy with everything and still trying to get ahold of Tyler, but I thought that maybe Jer-… no, I guess Elena, wait of course not…" Caroline trailed on and appeared to be guilty at the realization that no one was left to keep an eye on Bonnie but her and Matt really. "Matt, have you?" Caroline asked hopefully.

"Uhh no, I've been working more to cover some bills. I had to move out of Elena's house remember because it's umm gone," he finished lamely.

"Well, Witchy is definitely on leave from the loony bin. Someone should be trying to talk some sense into her."

"If you're so worried, why don't you take care of it, huh Damon? And I don't think it's that bad, denial is the first step in the grieving process," Caroline snapped back naively.

"I was just over at her house two days ago, but really? You've selected me to be the one to get through to a crazy Bonnie." Caroline looked a little awkward at that, no doubt realizing the lack of logic to her suggestion. "Besides, she's way worse than a normal grieving person. Most people reeling from the loss of their ex don't plot to sacrifice twelve people and bring back every supernatural being since the dawn of time." Damon let that hang in the air for a minute, returning to his drink.

"Well, it's that Shane guy who's corrupting her, right? So we just have to get her away from him and problem solved!" Caroline's smile was strained but as per usual, her optimism was still in tact.

"Except the Nutty Professor is a corpse back on Harper's Island and whomever Bonnie is talking to is not him," Damon stated bluntly, destroying her plan.

"What?"

His words had succeeded in taking the wind out of Caroline's sails, but it did not bring him any pleasure. He had no idea what the hell they should do. And Rebekah's creepy comment from the other day about Silas potentially being anyone had unfortunately gotten to him. He did not know why he paid Barbie Klaus' paranoia any heed, but his instincts were telling him something was wrong. And in one hundred and sixty something years, he had learned to trust them.

"So who has Bonnie been talking to then?" Caroline asked.

"That's the million dollar question, isn't it?" Damon finished off his bourbon in a gulp and made to leave without further comment.

"Wait a second," Caroline started. She reached out and grabbed his hand and looked at him angrily. "Where do you think you're going?" It was then that she glanced down and noticed the new addition on his fingers. "Is that Jeremy's ring?"

Ugh, how did I get stuck here with this? Damon thought as he subtly tried to tug his hand free. He did not want to let on that he lacked his normal strength.

"Why do you have it?"

"You were there," Damon replied as he still attempted to get her to loosen her grip, "Elena gave it to me. Now, let go."

"No! You should give it to someone who can actually use it, like Matt!" Caroline gestured to Matt who was shuffling awkward and uselessly. He was throwing the two of them glances as if he would rather be anywhere else at the moment. Damon knew the feeling.

"No, now get off me, Barbie!"

Caroline ignored him unsurprisingly and starting squeezing his unfortunate hand until the bones succumbed to her harsh grip. Then she reached out and slipped the ring off his now prone hand.

Damon could not help but let out a tight gasp. "What the hell, Barbie?" He demanded enraged as he cradled the hurt hand to his chest.

"Oh, come on. You're probably already healed by now. Stop your whining!" Caroline turned towards the uncomfortable looking bartender and said cheerfully, "Here you go, Matt!"

"Uhh, I don't know, Care," he risked a glance at the visibly irritated Damon, "Don't these things drive you, you know, crazy?"

"Give it back," Damon growled at the oblivious blonde.

"Don't be such a drama queen, you can't even use it. And you have to die a lot for them to do that, Matt. This is just for insurance. Trust me, it's for the best." She smiled at the unsure boy winningly.

"I'm okay, thanks." Matt has diverted his attention though and is staring at the still pained Damon in confusion.

Damon figured that was his cue to leave. Blondie and the Quarterback may be slow to the uptake, but surely they were not that stupid. They were five seconds from realizing what had happened.

Damon slid off the bar seat without another word, mindful of his older injuries as well as his newly wounded hand. He determinedly kept the obvious injury to his side as he attempted to appear normal.

"Damon," Caroline started slowly and seriously looking down at the place she had just grabbed, "Why hasn't your hand healed?" Before he could mutter some excuse and make a break for it, she continued with dawning comprehension, "And why were you wearing the Gilbert ring? And why didn't the vervain affect you? Oh my god, what the hell is going on? Is this why Stefan and Elena are acting so weird?" Every question was spoken louder and louder.

Her eyes were wide and she was about two seconds from hysterics. Damon didn't do hysterical girls, so he continued to edge away without answering her. Even Quarterback now seemed aware of what had happened. Great, Damon thought sarcastically, just what I need.

"What happened? How did this," she gestured wildly towards his body, "Happen?! I thought we were getting the cure for Elena! Or Klaus! Or, I don't know, anyone but you," she hissed the last part accusingly.

"Well, outside your frenzied teenage lives of important things like Xboxes and curling irons, things don't always go to plan."

"Be serious, Damon!" Caroline hissed, "What are we going to do?"

"Not talk about it here," Damon replied unhelpfully.

"No, no, no! We are so talking about it here," Caroline shook her head, blonde curls bouncing frantically to match her mood.

"Okay then. Let's fix it here and now. Just give me a teeny bit of your blood, snap my neck, and we'll be done with it all."

Caroline looked at him hesitantly, "If it's that simple, why haven't you done that yet with Stefan or Elena?"

"Because they seem to think the cure will counteract the process or some overcomplicated magical mumbo jumbo and I'll just be dead dead. Luckily, you don't care whether I live or die."

Caroline now looked stricken. "Damon, I can't do that to Stefan or Elena. We're trying to get Elena to turn her humanity back on despite her crappy life, we can't just kill you. How can you be so selfish as to ask that?"

"I thought you believed Elena didn't love me? So it won't matter, right?"

"Elena only thought she was in love with you because the sire bond, but she still cared about you. Hello, she cared about everyone she met before she flipped the switch! You dying is not going to help her at all."

"Oh, come on, I've saved your neck multiple times, the least you can do is break mine," Damon wheedled.

"No, no way. I'm not doing it. And you can't go kill yourself right now. Haven't you been listening to me? We need to regroup and deal with everything!"

"Fine, you and the Justice League can go have a team powwow, leave me out of it. I'll be off trying to actually get stuff done."

With that, he swiped the ring on the counter where Busboy had left it and made to leave before he stopped abruptly at the sight of the group entering the Grill.

Mister Mayor had apparently decided to return with Liz and some random deputy. You have got to be kidding me.

"Everyone clear out, this place has been deemed hazardous to its patrons' health," he announced to the people around. Immediately, Mystic Falls oh so intelligent citizens began to desperately flee the "hazardous" environment.

Damon just sat back down on the stool and reached for the bottle of bourbon again. No use in trying to leave now.

"Hey!" Matt called coming around the bar after everyone had left. The place was now empty save for him, Blondie, the Goon Squad and Damon himself. "You can't just do that, we've passed all our inspections. Some of us need to work to pay for a living, you can't just run our customers out. What gives?"

"Sorry, son, but there is a matter of grave importance to be dealt with. Step away kids from the dangerous beast," the Mayor said indicating towards Damon.

Both Caroline and Matt looked to him. Neither seemed particularly frightened of the monstrous threat that the Mayor was referring to for obvious reasons.

Damon knew with his new condition that the closest thing to a "dangerous beast" in there was now Caroline. The thought was so laughable that he started smirking to himself even as he ignored the asshole attempting to get him. His daughter is Bonnie and he is here with Liz, has no one told him that Caroline is part of the undead?

Guess not.

He set down the bourbon and turned to face the crowd behind him. "I do love being the center or attention, but what's this all about, hmm?"

Mister Mayor and the deputy were pointing guns presumably filled with wooden bullets at him. He noticed Liz was assuming a more casual stance and did not seem alarmed at all. Yeah, because she's not a complete idiot like the other two.

"Damon Salvatore," she began tiredly, "We're going to have to take you in on suspicion of threatening a public official."

He retracted his earlier thought. She had to be lacking brain cells if she was pulling this move.

Well, it was time for him to blow this joint. Quickly, he reached out a pulled the Quarterback by the scruff of his neck in front of him. Grasping him in a headlock, he held the boy to him as a human shield.

"Uh, what the hell, man?" Proving he really did not have the basic modicum of intelligence, Matt remained relaxed against him even as he questioned his actions. Given that he knew Damon was mortal now and was unlikely to kill any of Elena's friends anyway, this made sense but was ticking Damon the hell off.

"Act scared, dumbass," he hissed in the kid's ear. Loudly, he addressed the group in front of him. "I have taken this brat as insurance. Any wrong moves and I will turn him into a creature of the undead, night, whatever." He laughed dramatically maniacal then, pulling his best Dracula impression.

He caught sight of Liz rolling her eyes at him from his peripheral vision. Okay, so maybe he was laying it on a bit thick. But she said nothing, so he did not care. Caroline was looking at him comically. It seemed the only people who bought his act were Mister Mayor and his helpless sidekick, but that was all he needed.

He inched around them and outside, still holding the unresisting Matt to him. Seriously, the kid failed as an actor. No talent whatsoever. He could not even pretend to struggle or be terrified.

The second they were out of sight, Damon let him go and jogged to his car. He heard Matt sigh behind him.

He started his Camaro up and glanced into his rearview mirror as he sped away. Matt was shaking his head and making no move to return to the building. If he was not such a pathetic fake hostage, Damon might have given him points for that.

About five minutes into his drive, Damon got a text from Caroline:

Mom told me to tell you that you're now a fugitive from justice. Great going, jerk.

She makes it sound like this is a new thing for me, Damon thought as he parked his Camaro outside his intended destination.

He needed some answers. He leisurely walked up the steps and approached the house. He chuckled under his breath briefly at the irony of him coming here considering what just happened but just brushed it off with a smirk.

He rapped on the door and waited impatiently for Bonnie to come answer it.

Well that took longer than expected. Sorry, I went somewhere without internet and couldn't post this. And then I had a big health scare. Hope you're still interested in the story despite the wait and the end of the hiatus.

It makes me sad that so many people seem to dislike Elena but I can't make her likable, keep her humanity off, have her interact with Damon, and make her distinct from Katherine for now. Just have some patience there.

It's a shorter, lighter chapter but I hope you liked it anyway. Please review!