A/N This is the first moment I've had time to update today, bowling practice ran over and then I had hmwrk, and debate research, and then my computer wouldn't cooperate. But all is well now.

Thanks for all the reviews, everyone, I am thrilled with the amount of reviews I've been getting for this story.

Disclaimer: An-Jelly-Ca owns nothing, she owned nothing last chapter, the chapter before that, the one before that, and the one before that. And she is sure that she will continue to own nothing in the next chapter.

Joe shot up in bed and looked wildly around the room finally awaking from the horror filled memories that had replayed in his mind during his dream. The blond pushed a strand of hair out of his eyes and got out of bed with a sigh. He'd been having a lot of bad dreams about those horror filled days ever since he went back to Bayport last week. He wasn't sure why he went; it wasn't as though there was anything left for him there but he'd gone just the same. The diner where he worked was being fumigated (something about a rat infestation) and he had the next two weeks off as a result. He had first gone to visit Frank's grave again.

"Hi, Frank." Joe said sitting down in the snow in front of his brother's tombstone. "So, I've been pretty lost lately, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know how to live without you, the only reason why I got past Iola's death was because you were there with me. But now without you I have no one, I have nothing." Tears swam before his eyes and Joe angrily wiped them away.

"I've been thinking about those last few months, and I think…I think I might need to go back to Bayport. I need to know if I did the right thing by leaving." Joe paused as though expecting his brother to answer only to be greeted by silence other then the howl of the wind as more snow fell from the gray sky.

"I wish I could ask you what you think. I miss those days back when we were in high school and I could always come running to you for help. No matter what happened or who was truly at fault you would listen objectively and give your opinion. And you never judged me, you always defended me, and now that you're gone I don't know what to do. I need you, Frank." With those final words Joe pushed himself up from the ground and gave one last look at the tombstone before mumbling a goodbye and exiting the cemetery.

After that visit to the cemetery Joe had started to feel increasingly restless. Thoughts of Bayport and his old life haunted him until he finally cracked and decided to take the train to Bayport and check things out. He didn't plan to actually talk to anyone; he just wanted to see how they were. That's all.

Joe took a deep breath as he stepped off the train and found himself in the familiar Bayport train station. He remembered running after criminals here with Frank, he remembered taking the train to the city to investigate cases, and during their college days taking it back to NYU after a visit home. He was starting to have second thoughts now that he was actually confronted with his old hometown.

Joe took a few deep breaths and squared his shoulders before walking out of the train station and into the bright daylight of Bayport. It was sort of eerie how familiar his surroundings looked even as Joe himself felt so different. People bustled by, parents with their kids, teenagers in groups of five or ten, and several feet in front of him Joe saw a little boy fall down and start crying only to be helped up by a slightly older boy who Joe guessed was his older brother. It reminded him of his own childhood with Frank and Joe had to take a moment to calm himself before walking resolutely past the two boys and into town.

Joe spotted a payphone and headed toward it, he could see a phonebook hanging from a chain on the booth. He planned to find out if everyone was still in town and he figured that looking them up in the phonebook was as good way as any to find out. Taking a deep breath the blond flipped through the phonebook first going to "B" and looking for Vanessa. He found his former girlfriend's address under that of her mother. Joe pondered the address trying to remember what part of town it was in finally placing it in the richer north side of town. It looked like Vanessa had found success in her chosen field of computer science.

Joe tore the page out of the book with Vanessa's address on it not really caring that it was probably impolite considering that the book was for public use. Joe reasoned that as a member of the public it was perfectly reasonable for him to take the page. Besides he didn't particularly want anyone calling Vanessa ex-girlfriend or not.

Joe considered calling a taxi as he walked down the street toward the neighborhood where Vanessa lived. In the end he resolved to walk noting that Vanessa's apartment should only be about ten minutes away if memory served him. Joe walked through town with his head down not wanting to see anyone he had known or be recognized by anyone. He soon reached Vanessa's apartment building and stood in front of it looking up at the red brick building with a feeling of apprehension as he tried to decide whether he should ring the buzzer.

He didn't really want to talk to Vanessa; he just wanted to see her, just for a second, so that he could know he made the right decision. Finally deciding that she probably wouldn't be home this early in the day the blond pressed the buzzer. That way he could go back to his anonymous life in the city knowing that he'd at least tried. Joe froze as a familiar voice spoke over the intercom. "Yes?" Vanessa's voice queried. "Hello? Is anyone there?" She added when no response came.

Joe decided that this were enough contact for him and hurriedly headed away from the building and back toward the main area of town. As Joe walked along his stomach began to growl reminding him that he hadn't eaten since yesterday, with a sight the blond glanced around looking for a viable restaurant choice. Joe was reasonably certain that there was a half-way decent diner two blocks away.

He used to go there with Vanessa, Frank, and Callie on double dates to celebrate the closure of a case or a particularly exiting athletic triumph over one of Bayport High's main rivals. He reached the diner with minutes and opened the door with just a small bit of apprehension fearing that he would see someone he had previously known. He finally reassured himself that the waitresses at the diner tended to be local teenagers all those he had known had since grown up. Joe slid into a booth near the back and waited for a waitress to take his order. He absentmindedly drummed his fingers on the tabletop as his mind drank in the familiar surroundings. Despite everything that had happened it was good to be home.

"Joe? Joe Hardy?" Joe froze hearing the familiar feminine voice of his brother's former girlfriend. He was tempted to ignore her in the hopes that she would think she was mistaken, unfortunately he rather underestimated Callie Shaw. Callie walked straight to his table and slid onto the bench across from him. "It's been so long." The blonde haired girl remarked taking in the sight of her former friend.

"It has." Joe acknowledged awkwardly wanting nothing more then to leave the diner, to leave the town.

"It hasn't been the same without you." Callie remarked in a sad tone as the final days before Joe had fled town replayed in his mind.

"How is everyone?" Joe questioned finally putting aside his resignation in favor of getting news on his friends and family.

"Well, Phil is interning at a major computer research corporation, Vanessa works there as well, and Tony owns Mr. Pizza, he's in his last year of college he went to culinary school after getting a two year degree. Biff is interning on channel 7 news he plans to be a sportscaster, and Chet is helping manage his parents farm, they plan to turn control over to him in a year or so. Oh, and he married Liz Webling, she runs the Bayport Times." Callie said all this in one breath without pause.

"So, everyone's doing really well then?" Joe questioned half of him hoping that she'd say yes, the other half almost wanting her to say no so that his disappearance would have meant something to him.

"Well, they're O.K. but no one is particularly happy, you know? They get by, they all have jobs they enjoy, and they still get together to catch up. But none of us are nearly as tight knit as we were back before…well you know…" Callie looked at Joe sadly before continuing. "How are you, really?"

"I'm…fine…"

"Please, Joe…tell me the truth, don't lie." Joe gave the other blond a hard look trying to decide what to tell her. He finally decided for some form of the truth.

"I live in New York City in a small apartment; I work as a waiter at a small diner two blocks from my apartment. I don't get out much anymore besides to go to work or get groceries and other necessities."

"Oh, Joe…" Callie murmured softly grabbing her former friend's hand and squeezing it gently. "Why don't you come home? Come back to Bayport, you can stay in my condo until you get a place of your own." She doubted the blond would accept her offer but still offered it out of the hope that he would come back and things would be normal again. They could all be young again, and Frank would be alive and they wouldn't have to worry about things like whether their friend was alive or okay. They would be free to yammer on about inconsequential things like whose college team would beat the others'.

"I'm sorry, Callie, I can't come back here. I just can't." Joe said absently stirring his coffee which a waitress had poured several minutes ago without attracting the attention of either person.

"At least let me come visit you." Callie suggested hopefully.

"I guess…I guess it couldn't hurt…" Joe decided with a sigh. He accepted a pen from Callie and scribbled down his address. "I work the 11p.m. to 6a.m. shift so any time other then that is fine."

"Okay, how about this Thursday at three? I'll come visit, okay? And we'll talk?"

"All right." The blond agreed grudgingly.

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