CHAPTER 15:

Tom:

I paid close attention to Jane especially as I opened the door for my guests and stepped aside to allow them to enter my home. Of course I was most interested in her reaction to it and I hoped that she would not be disappointed. And she did not disappoint me either. I felt that I had assumed correctly when I had noticed that she had been observing the outside of my home and she now seemed to be quite captivated with the inside of it as well.

One of my servants along with Berkley and my two sisters were there to greet us as had been arranged prior to my departure that day.

"My sisters, Miss Phoebe Lefroy and Miss Sarah Lefroy." I announced after everyone's coats and hats had been removed and taken away by my servant.

Although both sisters are older than me, Sarah is the closest in not only age to myself but personality as well. We had always been close and I knew that she and Jane would be more likely to connect than our older sister Phoebe. Not to say anything against my older sister, she had just always been more of the more mature, serious type along with our oldest sister Lucy whom she is closest to (both Phoebe and Lucy being amongst those relatives who had originally disapproved of Mary's and my way of raising our children. It was Phoebe who had been the first to assume the "motherly" duties when Mary had passed. I was pretty sure that her intentions were to change the ways of our child-rearing in order to make sure that our children would not grow up to be wild. But after living with us for sometime, even she had to admit that our way seems to be working for our children). Sarah and myself on the other hand are more "young at heart" along with the rest of our younger brothers and sisters (Sarah tends to join in with our children in their daily physical play and activities, whereas Phoebe leaves that part of their daily routine up to Sarah and myself if I'm available). As Jane is more like myself in such ways, it stood to reason that she and Sarah would get along. Also, Sarah had been quite thrilled that "Miss Jane Austen, authoress" had been invited to spend the holiday season with us, being another avid reader of hers along with my daughter Jane. That made three of us who have been quite excited about Christmas this year. Although Phoebe is able to keep herself in check better and would never really come out and express it, I believe that she too liked the idea.

"Mr. Henry Austen, his wife Mrs. Eliza Austen and Mr. Austen's sisters, Miss Cassandra Austen and Miss Jane Austen." I continued, finishing off the introductions.

I "re-introduced" Berkley to the three who already knew him and then to Miss Cassandra Austen whom of course hadn't met him yet, then dismissed him by giving him the task of putting everyone's bags in their rooms while I suggested that we all go to the dining room for our tea and lead the way. I was happy that to this point, I had not heard my children. Anna, Jane and Anthony were doing a good job of keeping the younger ones happy and occupied. I breathed a small, in audible sigh of relief.

As I felt pretty sure that Sarah and Jane would get along (and because Sarah was such a fan of Jane's), I purposely sat them on the same side of the table. Of course I would put Jane's sister beside herself and Sarah beside her while I sat Phoebe opposite Sarah and beside Eliza.

Naturally I realized that the subject of my children would arise as I had not told my guests that they would not be meeting them directly upon arrival. Eliza was the first the speak about their absence.

"And where is the rest of your family Tom? I thought we might be meeting them when we came in the door." she asked.

"They are all taking their tea upstairs with Anna, the nursery maid whom you met in London. I have asked them to give our guests the chance to recover from your long trip." I now explained to them.

"They are so quiet!" Eliza exclaimed.

"For the most part, they are quite well behaved children, although as you are to stay for at least a month, you are sure to witness some falling out with them here and there." I replied with a smile knowing that with all children, no matter how good they generally are, that good behaviour isn't constant, my own included.

"Well, they are children after all." Jane pleasantly surprised me with her candid statement.

I gazed at her and still smiling, "Yes...they are." I agreed gently, happy to know that she seemed to understand this even though she had no children of her own. "You will meet them in a little while, I just wanted to give you all the chance to rest and refresh first."

"It was very thoughtful of you Tom." Eliza assured me.

My sister Sarah finally had the chance to say what I know she had been wanting to say since knowing that Jane would be coming to visit us.

"Miss Austen..." She now spoke up. "I hope you don't mind, but I wish to tell you how fond I am of your writing. And that it is an honour to have you with us."

I was delighted when Jane insisted that Sarah be less formal with her and call her "Jane" instead of "Miss Austen" and then saw the two of them smile at each other. Sarah, I could tell was just as enamoured with Jane as my young Jane had been upon first meeting her and continues to be. I could also tell that Jane's return smile was a genuine one. I was very pleased.

My older sister Phoebe now spoke up for the first time. She had been holding back, observing our guests which is natural for her. "Tom has told us that you knew each other quite a few years back."

To which Henry gave the reply this time. "Yes. Tom and myself met first while he was living in London and studying law and I was studying at Oxford. He met my sisters when he came out to visit your other family members who are also friends and neighbours of our family, George and Anne Lefroy."

"Of course. Tom did mention that." Phoebe replied.

"It is a shame that you fell out of touch with each other when he moved back here." Sarah added while I glanced quickly at Jane to see her looking back at myself.

I had never told my sisters...indeed my family about how Jane and myself had really met...what had really happened between us. It had been too painful for me to talk about. As well, I didn't see the sense in dredging up the past when, especially after everything and at the time, that's all it was... a past. And a past that could never, would never come to light again I was so sure of at the time. How I was glad I was wrong about that now. And even when I knew that Jane would be spending Christmas with us, even though it still stirred up painful memories, I didn't enlighten them then either. Let us begin with some new, fresh, happier memories was my thought.

"Yes.." Tom agreed. "But we here together now." I smiled at Jane once again who returned it with a small smile of her own.

Our conversations continued on in a light-hearted manner after this and after we had finished our tea but were still conversing Eliza had mentioned how she wished to see the rest of the house. I would be only too happy to give my company a tour of my place (I admit that I was quite eager to 'show it off' to Jane especially of course) but I felt it would be best to wait until a bit later on after they had met my children. Henry helped me out by saying that there would be plenty of time in which to see it during their stay. I now suggested that if they wished to freshen up that I could show them to their rooms right now. It was agreed upon and I lead the way out of the dining room, stopping by the sitting room I wished for them all to join me in once they were ready. Sarah and Phoebe went in to await myself and our guests while I continued to lead the way back to the staircase and up the stairs.

Being right outside the doors I knew my children were in, I was even more acutely aware of their presence and did notice the slight crack in the doorway of one of the rooms as we passed. On the one hand I was slightly mortified that Anna, Anthony and Jane hadn't been more watchful of whomever was peeking out, but at the same time, I didn't think that anyone else would notice as the door was just ever so slightly ajar. They are children after all I reminded myself of Jane's own words and decided that it was best to carry on as if I hadn't even noticed them instead of bringing them to everyone's attention. Having reached this decision, I even felt a bit amused by their actions. They were just being themselves, curious and no harm was being done after all. Then I had a thought...and perhaps it was just wishful thinking on my own part, but somehow, I could see Jane also being amused by their actions if she realized that we were being watched.

I continued on down the hallway with my guests, showing each of them to their rooms and pointing out that my own room was the last room on their left, right at the end of the hallway and left them to refresh themselves while I myself went back down to the sitting room to await for them. On my way back to the staircase I noticed that the door to one of the children's rooms was no longer open but I could hear a muffled voice. I couldn't help but smile as I realized that Anna was speaking to the children about their naughtiness.

I made my way back to the sitting room where Sarah not surprising, was the first to pounce on me.

"This is so exciting Tom! And Miss Austen...Jane...is delightful. They all are."

"I'm glad you approve, dear sister." I smiled at her, that never being a concern of mine that the Austen's would meet with disapproval from my sisters. Well, Sarah anyway. But I really never thought that Phoebe would disapprove either. Although I think that Eliza had intrigued her more, being that she had been married to a wealthy French man at one time who had met his fate with the guillotine because he had been opposed to all of the changes the French revolutionary government had brought in.

"They are indeed lovely Tom." Phoebe now voiced her own opinion. I also felt that Phoebe might have more in common with Cassandra as well being that they were both more a bit more reserved.

When the Austens rejoined us, I took further note of Jane's reaction to the sitting room. Once again, she seemed pleased. Almost immediately upon her entrance she walked over to a portrait of Mary that was hanging on one of the walls and went right over to it. I followed her.

"My wife...Mary." I told her quietly.

"She was lovely Tom." I knew her reply was genuine. I was touched. But as Mary had without a doubt been beautiful, and there was no denying that if Jane and Mary stood side by side, that Mary's beauty would stand out. But Jane was just as beautiful...only in a different way. Whereas Mary's beauty was physical and was noticed straight away, Jane's beauty did not stand out like Mary's did. It had to be found. It is almost as if Jane herself was able to hold it back from everyone in order to challenge people...to dare people-men in particular of course-to find it for themselves (something I would not at all find surprising about Jane). I had found it. Not quite right away...but almost. And once I had found it, she even surpassed Mary in her beauty...at least as far as I was concerned. That, added to her spirit, independence and spontaneity only enhanced her true beauty to me. Which was one of the reasons why I had returned to her even after becoming engaged to Mary in the first place. Mary was not Jane. And I could not seem to take that step toward marrying her without at least seeing Jane one last time. To give us one last chance to be together...to see if Jane felt anything for me at all. Especially now that surely she must know I was engaged. If I could discover that she still had feelings for me...and if my own feelings were as strong as they had been for Jane (which I never had a doubt I would find that they would be) I didn't care then. We would take our chances even if that meant that we had to run away together...to be completely on our own and do everything for ourselves with NO help from our families who would surely disown us if we did...

Bringing myself back to the present, I gestured for everyone to take a seat so that we could enjoy our "reaquaintance" in comfort. Sarah watched to see where Jane would sit and sat down beside her immediately.

"Tom has told us that we are to have a Christmas Ball in your honour." Sarah started off addressing Jane straight away.

I had seen Jane look at me with a rather stricken look on her face and quickly corrected my sister. "Not in Jane's honour. In honour of the Christmas Season and in honour of all of our guests."

Jane then went on to explain how it was my daughter who had come up with the idea when we were all together in London and Eliza asked if I had settled on a date for it. Sarah then went on to say that I had invited some of the most prominent people in Ireland which I wish she hadn't done. I once again corrected that statement by saying that they were mostly people I knew through my work one way or another. I didn't want Jane to think that I had purposely gone out and invited people of "high society" because of her for I knew she would disapprove of that as well.

Sarah now told Jane how more of our family members would be here. I hoped that Jane wouldn't be overwhelmed by meeting so many Lefroys at one time. Then to my dismay, I heard Sarah say. "How people will talk about it for a time afterwards! And how Miss Jane Austen was in attendance as well!"

"Sarah!" I admonished her in my shock. "This is not to be a ball about Jane. She is not here to showcase herself. She is here as my...our guest and it should not be interpreted as anything more than that."

I saw Jane's look at me and was horrified that Sarah should come to the conclusion that Jane was here as some sort of exhibit. I knew that Jane would never approve of such a thing.

I love my sister Sarah dearly but she does tend to be a bit of a "romantic" and have her head in the clouds at times and can get carried away with certain situations as she was with the idea of our authoress friend being in attendance along with other members of the upper class.

I was truly grateful when Jane had noticed Sarah's crestfallen look and took it upon herself to make my sister feel better by explaining that she was flattered by her enthusiasm of her presence but that she wished to enjoy a "quiet" Christmas where she wished to get to know all of us. After the two had made "amends" (so to speak), we resumed our conversations which became more light-hearted and enjoyable.

When I felt that enough time had passed I stood up and announced that it would be a good time for my guests and my children to be introduced to one another. Phoebe offered for her and Sarah to go and retrieve them which they did, while I sat back down with my company and awaited for Jane and my children to meet each other at last.

Now that the "introductions" of the Lefroy Family/house-hold are nearly over with, some more "interesting" times are on the way, so be sure to stay " 'tooned "! ;-D