*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you so much and thank-you to those that alerted this story. It really means a lot. Thank-you.. = )
I never really noticed how submissive I was to John until after Dave and me had that conversation about how I always do what he wants me to. The truth is I did what everyone wanted me to. I never really did what I wanted to do. I always did what was expected of me. It's not like John controlled me because he didn't it was just my fear of making him unhappy. I didn't like to make people unhappy or disappoint them. I never thought of myself as the perfect person and saw that I had flaws. Caring too much what others thought of me was another one of those flaws.
A couple weeks later John and me took a mini vacation from our jobs. We didn't do it often but John wanted to go home for the weekend to visit family. He had become Mr. Family Man since he found out about his brother Matt and his wife Carrie having a baby. He was pretty much obsessing over it. I mean I know it's one thing to be excited about having your first niece or nephew but John was pretty much obsessed with it. Maybe it's because I wasn't giving in to his want for a baby. I don't know but he was truly obsessed with having a niece or a nephew. It had to be obsession if John actually took a weekend off from work to visit his family. I wanted to decline the visit but it wouldn't look good on my part if I did so I obliged and went with him. Besides I missed his family and I missed my own. I hadn't seen them since Christmas so it was a long time coming. It was only a weekend but it was worth it.
When we arrived at the airport in West Newbury we went through customs and picked up a rental car. We headed to John's parents' house which is where we were going to stay for the weekend. "How does it feel to be back in West Newbury?" asked John.
"Great," I said as I was texting Dave about his character change that was supposed to happen in the next couple weeks. Just because I was on vacation from work I still had some last minute plans to tie up with Dave. Besides something inside me wanted an excuse to text him. I don't know why but I enjoyed talking with him.
"Tess, what are you doing?" asked John as he drove down the familiar roads.
"I'm just going over some things with Dave about his character," I answered.
"Tess, come on. We're on vacation. Don't bother yourself with that man. You don't' have to converse with him," he said.
"But I want to. I don't mind."
"You don't' mind? I thought you couldn't stand him?"
"That was before I got to know him and besides I have last minute details to go over with him."
"I'm sure that can wait till we get back. Just tell him you're busy this weekend and that you'll talk to him on Monday. I'm putting in a no cell phone policy this weekend. This weekend is about being with our families not about work," he said.
"But John," I said, "I just want to make sure we have an understanding about his new character."
"Tess, it doesn't matter. It's a work free weekend. Come on. Let's just focus on our families. Come on turn off the cell phone and enjoy it. We don't get these days off a lot. I just want to enjoy it with you and my family. Can you do that please? I'm turning mine off too."
"Fine," I said. I wasn't exactly happy about it but John made a point it was about our families and besides I did want to spend some time with John. Time that we hardly got while on the road because both of us were too busy working. I sent Dave one last text telling him I would talk to him on Monday and then shut off my phone for the weekend.
"That's better," said John. "When we get to my parents' house I will turn mine off too."
"I hope so since you made such a big deal about me turning mine off," I said looking out the window. I didn't mean to sound bitter but it was the truth. He made such a big deal about me turning my phone off that he should have no problem doing the same.
"I will. I promise, Babe, and I promise we're going to have the best weekend together in a long time."
"I like the sound of that," I said with a smile. It had been a while since John and me had a weekend together. I was looking forward to spending the time with him. Spending time with him without being called into a last minute meeting or him having to go over a change in the script. That weekend it was going to be about John and me and our families of course but there would be no interruptions and no phone calls.
We arrived at the Cena household to be greeted by John's parents; John and Carol, and my parents along with his brother Matt and his wife Carrie and his other brother Dan and his wife Rachel. "It's so good to see you," said Carol as she hugged John.
"It's so good to see you too," he said as he hugged her back. John was a Mama's boy through and through. It was really cute to watch. I could tell that John was Carol's favorite and every time we were in their house Carol did everything she could to take care of John. She did his laundry, she cooked for him, anything he wanted she did for him and gave to him.
"And you too, Tessa," she said as she hugged me.
"Hi, Carol, it's good to see you too," I said hugging her back. I had no problem with John's mom at all. I absolutely loved her. She was one of the sweetest women I knew. She was always a second mom to me and once John and me started dating she welcomed me into their family with no problem. His whole family pretty much treated me like I was part of it. I really felt welcomed into the Cena family.
"So how did you manage to get this weekend off?" asked John's Dad. We also called him Fab due to his wrestling name Johnny Fabulous.
"I just talked to Vince and told him we needed some time off and he granted it to me. It's not like we had anything big planned this weekend. I needed to take a break."
"Well, I'm glad you're here, Son," he said hugging him. "And Tess, it's good to see you," he said with a smile.
"Good to see you too, Fab," I said with a smile of my own. Fab leaned in and hugged me and then kissed my cheek. I walked down the line hugging my parents, shaking hands with John's brothers, hugging their wives following John's lead. It felt so good to be back home. I really did miss it. There was nothing better that home feeling.
John came to Matt and said, "Congratulations. I'm so happy for you, Bro." He gave him a congratulatory hug before he congratulated Carrie and kissed her cheek.
"Congratulations," I said with a smile.
"Thank-you," said Carrie with a smile. She looked absolutely beautiful. She already had that glow and I could tell she was genuinely happy about being pregnant. I was happy for her. She deserved it. She went through a lot to get to that point in her life. I just wasn't obsessed over it like John was.
"You look beautiful," I said.
"Thank-you," she said.
"Well, let's go into the house," said Carol as she motioned for us to come in.
John picked up his suitcase as I went to pick mine up and he stopped me. "I'll get that for you,' he said with a smile.
"Thanks," I said smiling back as we walked into the house. John and me immediately headed upstairs to his old bedroom to put our suitcases down and do a little unpacking. It had been years since John had lived in his old bedroom but it was the same as it was when he left for college. "It amazes me that your room is still the same. As soon as I was out the door and in Notre Dame my mom turned my room into an exercise room. I don't think she uses it at all."
"My parents want me to feel welcome when I come back to visit," he said. "And I have to say I feel comfortable coming back home."
"Me too," I said looking around. It was a typical high school boy's room. The only thing he changed was the posters he had on the wall. I didn't really like the half naked women he had hanging on the wall. It wasn't because I was jealous I just thought it was more of a feminist thing. I just didn't like the disrespect toward women. John understood and took them down.
We were starting to do some unpacking as Carol knocked on the door. "Come in," said John.
Carol poked her head in the door and said, "I just wanted to let you two know that we have dinner reservations at the Italian restaurant down the street."
"Mom, you didn't have to do that," said John. "A family meal would have sufficed."
"I had to," said Carol. "It's a welcome home gift."
"Thanks but the best gift would be a home cooked meal," he said, "we never really get home cooked meals. We always eat out."
"We just wanted a special evening for you two," said Carol. "We'll have a home cooked meal tomorrow night."
"That sounds like a plan," said John. "Thank-you."
"You're welcome," she said, "I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing. Bye," she said before shutting the door.
"Remember the days she didn't like the door shut when we were in here?" he asked locking his door.
"I remember," I said with a smile.
"Glad we're adults now," he said wrapping his arms around me. "I missed you, Tess. I miss us being together."
"I miss you too. We've both been so busy lately it's like we never have time for one another," I said.
"Like I said, we have this whole weekend to make up for that time," he said. "Like right now we can start."
"I like the sound of that," I said as he softly kissed my lips. Clothing was starting to be removed and John laid me down on the bed. Just as we were about to make love his cell phone went off. "I thought you were turning it off?"
"I forgot," he said grabbing his phone from his nightstand. "It's Vince. I have to take this."
"Fine," I said.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Just take the call," I said. I was a little upset because he made me turn my phone off but it was okay for his to be on. He should have ignored the call. He promised me he would turn it off but we all see where that promise got us.
"You know what," he said, "I made a promise to you. I'm ignoring this call and turning off my phone. It's all about you this weekend." He turned his phone off and threw it to the side. "Where were we?"
"Right about here," I said with a smile as I pulled him down on top of me. We spent the next hour making love to one another. When we were finished we softly kissed each other's lips and put our clothes back on before we finished unpacking. I don't' know why I doubted John about the whole phone thing. I should have known he wasn't going to take that call because when John made promises he kept them. Like I've said before John was a great boyfriend and I couldn't' have asked for a better one. At least that's what I felt then.
Later that evening we went out to dinner with his parents, my parents and his brothers and their wives. Everything was going good until John brought up the baby thing. "So Matt and Carrie, what do you want to have? A girl or a boy?"
"It doesn't matter," said Carrie. "As long as the baby's healthy. That's all that matters."
"That's right," said Matt. "It doesn't matter. We just want a healthy baby."
"That's understandable," said John. He was beaming as he talked about the baby. "Do you two have any names picked out?"
"None yet," said Carrie. "We're still in shock over it all. We haven't really sat down to discuss names yet."
"I know when Tessa and me have a baby that a boy is definitely going to be named John." I choked on my ravioli as he said this. What was he thinking? I never agreed to having a baby. Where did he get off saying this? "You okay, Tess?"
I took a sip of my wine and said, "just peachy" as I kicked him under the table.
"Don't you think you two should tie the knot before talking about babies?" asked Carol. It was like her to say something like that. She never really did understand the whole having babies out of wedlock thing.
"Yeah when are you two going to get married?" asked my mom.
"We haven't talked about that yet," I said.
"But you've talked about babies?" asked my dad with a confused look.
"We didn't discuss that yet either," I said looking at John. I wanted him to help me out there but he gave me this look telling me I was on my own. I figured as much because John wanted it all. Marriage, babies, and that entire life but I didn't want that life. He knew it and I felt like I was put on the spot at dinner.
"May I suggest," said my mom.
I let out a breath knowing that she was going to give her suggestion anyway. That's what she did. She didn't care if I wanted her suggestion or not. If she had to suggest something she wanted me to hear it. "What, Mom?" I asked picking at my food. I had suddenly lost my appetite.
"I think you and John should get married soon and then have a baby in the first year of marriage. You're not getting any younger, Tessa. You're almost past your baby making prime. I would like grandchildren someday."
That would usually be the point when someone that didn't' want a baby would say their brother or sister would give them grandchildren but I wasn't so lucky. That's right. I was an only child. It was just me. I was the only chance my parents had at having grandchildren. I felt bad because I didn't want to have a baby but my career was more important. "Mom, do you have to be so dark?" I asked.
"What? I'm just telling the truth. You're 32 Tessa. Your biological clock is ticking." And my biological clock could keep on ticking because it didn't matter to me. I had no desire to have a baby or get married for that matter.
"Mom, I don't want to have a baby. I am so busy with my career I don't have time for a baby."
"That's why you need to quit," she said.
"I'm not quitting something I love to have a baby. I don't' want one and I don't want to get married either." There was no sense in beating around the bush. I was laying it down on the table for everyone to hear and know. I, Tessa Montgomery did NOT want a baby nor did I want to get married. I was content with my life and I didn't want to change a thing.
That's when John finally chimed in and of course he wasn't on my side. "Tessa means she doesn't want to get married right now or have a baby right now. She wants to wait a year or two before that happens." I kicked him again under the table which caused him to hit his knee on the table.
"Well, it needs to happen soon," said my mom, "because Tessa's eggs are fading away slowly and you two don't want to be the oldest parents in nursery school do you?"
I rolled my eyes and said, "you know what. I'm not feeling that well. I think I should go home."
"Tessa," said John. "Are you okay?"
"No. I don't feel well and I would like to go home," I said standing up.
"All right," he said before asking for the check for our meals. He paid the bill and we left. I walked a couple feet ahead of him but I could hear him apologize for my attitude and heard him say he would talk to me. I didn't need anyone to apologize on my behalf especially if I wasn't in the wrong. I knew what I wanted in my life and it wasn't a baby or marriage. I just wanted to be a career woman and have John for my boyfriend. I didn't think it was too much to ask but I guess I was wrong.
The car ride back to the Cena house was done in silence. We didn't really have anything to say to each other until we were in his bedroom. I was getting dressed as I said, "what was that, John?"
"What was what?" he asked getting into shorts and a t-shirt.
"At the restaurant," I said. "Talking about us having babies and getting married. You know damn well I never agreed to it and the chances of you getting me to agree to it are slim to none."
"Tessa, I just don't understand why you won't have a baby or marry me. Can you tell me why?"
"Because John, marriage isn't for me. We've been together for 16 years is that not commitment enough for you? I think the fact we've been together for 16 years is pretty damn good. Why do you need a marriage?"
"Because I want to make it official. I want to make it forever, Tess. You know that."
"This is official. This is forever. If I've been with you for 16 years then I'm obviously not going anywhere. I love you, John but getting married is NOT something I want to do."
"Tessa, why? Just think you can be Mrs. John Cena. Do you know how many women out there that would want to be Mrs. John Cena?"
"Do you think I care how many women out there want to be Mrs. John Cena? Not really. I don't want to be Mrs. John Cena. I want to be Tessa Montgomery. I want us to stay the same. 16 years is a long time, John. I don't see why you don't think that's commitment enough."
"Tessa, why is this always a battle?"
"Because you always make it a battle. You know my opinion on us getting married but yet you keep bringing it up. I'm starting to get annoyed with it, John. That's not what I want. We don't need to be married to be happy. Marriage does more damage than anything. I like what we have and I see no problem with it."
"Tessa," he said. "I wouldn't make it a battle if you weren't so stubborn about it."
"John, I don't want to get married. Why can't you understand that? Why can't you just be happy with what we have?"
"Fine. I'll drop the marriage thing. I'll be happy with what we have but I want a baby. Why won't you have a baby?"
"Now we're on to that," I said. "Great."
"Well, why won't you have a baby?"
"Because I don't want one, John. I like it just being the two of us," I said.
"Do you hate children?"
"I don't hate children. I just don't want any of my own."
"Why, Tessa?"
"Because of my career. I worked hard to get where I am and I don't want to jeopardize that with a baby that's going to drool, spit, cry and poop all the time. It sounds selfish I know but that's not what I want for my life. I want to be a career woman and I can't get what I want with a baby."
"That's selfish, Tessa," he said.
"It's selfish? It's more selfish to have a baby when you don't want one. A baby deserves a mother and a father that love it. I don't want a baby."
"So if you got pregnant you wouldn't love the baby?" he asked.
"I'm not a monster, John. IF I did get pregnant of course I would love it."
"So why not have one?"
"Because I don't want one. That's why I have birth control pills because I don't want one."
"And what if the birth control pill failed? Then what?"
"I don't know, John. I really don't know," I said.
"Tessa, I think you should lose the pill and just let whatever happens happen."
"No, John. I'm not doing that. I'm going to continue to take my birth control pill because I DO NOT want a baby. Why can't you understand that."
"I understand, Tessa, it's because you're selfish. If you love me why not have a baby with me."
"Go ahead pull the if you love me card because I can pull it too. If you loved me you would understand why I don't' want a baby."
"I understand. It's because you're selfish."
"Whatever, John. I think you're the one being selfish around here," I said.
He walked over to my purse and pulled out my birth control pills. "No, Tessa, this is selfish."
"Give them to me," I said. I was beyond angry at that point.
"Fine. Take them. Continue to be selfish."
I snatched them from him and said, "I'm not selfish. I just don't want a baby. I love my career and I don't want to ruin it."
"You are selfish," he said grabbing a pillow and a blanket.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"To sleep on the couch. I don't want to be in here with you tonight," he said before walking out. He slammed the door behind him.
"WHATEVER!" I yelled as I got into bed. I took a deep breath before I turned my cell phone back on. So much for us having a good weekend. I just didn't understand why he didn't get it. I didn't understand how I was being selfish. I thought having a baby when you didn't want to be a mother was a little more selfish. I thought John was being the selfish one not me but that was the problem with both of us. We were both stubborn and wanted it our way. Add stubborn to my list of character flaws because I was the most stubborn person you could meet. I felt the tears come to my eyes and it wasn't long before I started to cry. I ended up crying myself to sleep that night and it wasn't because I was sad it's because I was angry.
*A/N: What did you think? Please review and thank-you for taking the time to read.