"We're secure off the relay." Garrus pushed himself back from the scout's console, setting the board for autopilot and engaging the automatic detection protocols. "FTL looks good and we're in the groove. ETA to Cacus system, 30 hours."

His only answer was silence. Garrus turned to see Jane hunched over the small folding table that took up about half the scout's living area, staring sightlessly into the distance over a steaming cup of coffee. Just as he was about to clear his throat she shook her head and murmured, almost whispered,

"Too slow."

Garrus shook his head. "We've been over this, Shepard. The interceptor and Wrex's fighter don't have big fuel tanks. It's the best time we can manage." He hesitated for a moment, then unstrapped from the pilot's chair and walked back into the living area, sitting down opposite from her at the table. "Besides, I thought it'd give us a chance to talk about what happened on the Citadel."

For a moment he saw a flash of something- guilt? anger?- cross Jane's face, but then she lifted the mug and shrugged elaborately. "Don't know what's to talk about. We got what we needed."

"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it. Shooting a slaver in cold blood, well…that's one thing, though the Shepard I know wouldn't have done that, but Spirits! You were ready to wreck innocent people's lives to get to him! Somebody else might have thought you were bluffing, but I know better. You don't bluff. So would you mind telling me what the hell is going on?"

"What's going on?" Jane finally lifted her eyes up, burning bright green as her voice rose. "What's going on? In case you didn't notice, Vakarian, our daughter got fucking kidnapped! That bastard sold his soul to give his family a decent life, which meant he had exactly one weak spot. So I went for it." She pursed her lips, an edge of contempt on her face. "What? You think our little girl's not worth breaking some rules over?"

"Don't you dare." Garrus' voice was a low hiss, air leaking out around the metal plates in his face. "Don't you fucking dare, Shepard. This isn't about that."

"The kidnapping interrogation wasn't about the kidnapped girl?" Jane threw her arms up in the air. "Then what the hell was it about!"

"You!" Garrus slammed one hand down on the table, pushing himself up and leaning forward. "This is about you, Shepard. There used to be lines you wouldn't cross, not for anything. You wouldn't kill the rachni, even though you didn't know they weren't a threat. You wouldn't turn the Collector base over to Cerberus even if it would help fight the Reapers. Hell, you wouldn't let me put a bullet in Saleon back on the Fedele. I still remember what you said then. You said that I was better than that." He shook his head. "There I was, ready to pull the trigger on that son of a bitch, and the only thing that stopped me- the only thing!- was that you believed I was better and I didn't want to let you down."

Garrus sat again, his mandibles clicking as he tried to catch his breath. "That's the woman who stopped me from becoming a murderer. That's the women I married. So who's this?" It came out much more hurt than he'd wanted it to. Jane shook her head.

"So you don't approve of my methods. Noted. Anything else you want to get off your chest?" Garrus cocked his head.

"Does there have to be anything else? I'm worried about how you're acting." She snorted and threw herself back from the table, pacing as best she could in the close confines of the living area.

"No, come on, Garrus. I know there's got to be some other shit you want to get out in the open. I'm a big girl. I can take it." That heavy edge of sarcasm was still there, pushing him away, enough to make him snap,

"Dammit, Jane. Don't shut me out."

"Then dammit, Garrus, quit holding back!" It was a scream, as she suddenly turned, her face furious, hands clenched tightly into fists. "I know what you want to say! I know! You didn't want her to go to Omega! You said it wasn't safe! And I fucking insisted, I said she was going to be fine, that she was old enough, that nothing would happen." There were tears in her eyes now, and she had her arms crossed, nails digging into her forearms hard enough to draw blood. "Just say it, Garrus. Say it and get it over with. Ash is gone and it's all my…all my fuh- all my fault." She sank down to her knees, that mask of anger finally breaking as a sob broke through it. Jane leaned forward, weeping as she fell forward on her face, arms curling around her knees and drawing up. And Garrus damned himself for a fool.

This had happened before. During the Reaper War, when the whole galaxy was falling apart and it seemed the only person who could fix anything was the legendary Commander Shepard. She'd stopped sleeping as they chased Prothean artifacts, Volus religious texts, old Turian military standards, and missing family members across the galaxy, dodging Reapers and always watching the clock. She'd been unstoppable in combat, a warrior angel burning herself out to win her battles. She'd been an unshakeable friend, always willing to listen or help. And she'd never given a hint of what it cost her, right up until that night on the Citadel, when he'd found her hunched up in a closet, missing her own party to curl into a ball and whimper.

He'd sworn he'd never let her do that again. He'd been sure he could spot the signs of it. But he hadn't needed to, for two decades. Peace was hell sometimes. For instance, it made you think too much, even when the woman you loved was falling to pieces in front of you.

Slowly, carefully, Garrus moved forward and curled up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She was shaking her head, telling him through the tears no, don't touch me, just let me be. Leave me. Save her. Just leave me to what I deserve because I'm a failure can't save everyone can't save anyone- she broke down again at that, and now Garrus turned her around, letting her burrow into his chest. He didn't stroke her, or soothe her, or tell her everything would be all right, because they both knew better. He couldn't promise that. But he could hide Jane, for a bit, from the dark part of her that was so eager to punish her mistakes that it would destroy her from the inside out.

Spirits take him now if he was going to allow that.

Eventually, when she'd quieted and just started shivering in his arms, he spoke in low, measured tones.

"We're going to get her back. You know we can. And we will. But you need to be at a hundred percent, and that means letting go of this nonsense about it being your fault." Jane shook her head, and Garrus rested a claw on the back, stilling it. "You could have agreed with me. I could have argued harder. Jack could have gone along. Anderson could have crawled out of that damn marble palace they built for him on Terra and strangled that slaving bastard with his cold, dead hands." He couldn't see it, but he could feel her smile against him. "Lots of people could have stopped this, Jane. Kind of egotistical to take it all on yourself, isn't it? Not to mention letting the people who actually took Ash off the hook."

He could feel her head shake from side to side, still pressed into his chitin. "Dammit, Garrus. Stop making sense. I had a real good head of irrational violence and crazy going there."

"Just returning the favor. Besides, when you're naturally right all the time it's only fair to share it." That got him a smack right on the exoskeleton, but then she sighed.

"I'll let that slide, Vakarian. But only 'cause I know I'd be dead in a ditch without you." Quiet, then, as they both curled in and he felt her breathing deepen. When she spoke, her voice was starting to slow and grow fuzzy with sleep. "I would have done it, you know. All of it."

"But you didn't."

"Mmmhm." Another long pause. "Probably shouldn't have kissed Verner either, huh?"

"Oh, I don't know. I think he earned that one. Besides, now we have to let all the kids meet Unc-"

"Garrus, if you finish that sentence, so help me God I will take your other eye." She sounded dead serious, but spoiled the effect by yawning. "Right after…right after…"

Garrus waited until he was sure she was asleep, then reached over and hit the comm panel. The hail went out twice before it was answered.

"Whaddya want, G?" Jack sounded out of breath and even more pissed off than normal. "Kinda in the middle of some…calibrations here. Your fighter needs them. In a lot of places."

"Just wanted to ask you to take watch for a bit. Shepard's asleep. And Jack? She's back." A pause, then a deep sigh from the other end.

"Thank the sweet and nonexistent Lord. Okay Vakarian, go snuggle. Cheerleader and I can keep an eye out for you while we're. Flying. Got it?"

"Roger." Garrus felt like he was ignoring a contractual obligation to give Jack some kind of crap, but he didn't have it in him. All he could manage was palming down the lights, and letting himself drift off, wrapped tightly around his wife.