Chapter 22:

Jane:

Cassandra quickly and efficiently wrote up a lovely and convincing letter to our mother confirming my engagement to Mr. Lefroy. As she did so, I came to realize that it was right that she be the one to write it as I know I could not have done one any better myself. She signed and then sealed it in an envelope that she was now addressing, then handed it to me to give to Tom before we left the room to join the rest. I hoped we hadn't kept them waiting too long for us.

As it turned out, everyone else had all converged at the bottom of the staircase. Tom looked up at us as we descended, smiling. He then quickly turned to Anna, Phoebe and Sarah and said something to them. They nodded their heads and lead the children away towards the dining room.

Not long after we reached the bottom of the stairs, Phoebe and Sarah were already on their way back.

"I have spoken to my sisters and my children about our engagement." Tom told us. "And Henry and Eliza have already told us that they know about it as well."

"Jane, I am so very happy for you both!" Sarah exclaimed as she came over and embraced me.

"Thank you, Sarah." I smiled at my soon to be sister in law.

"And as the eldest of the family in Tom's household, it is both a pleasure and an honour to welcome you to the Lefroy family." Phoebe now also added as she too stepped forward.

"Thank you Phoebe." In the weeks since our arrival, Phoebe and myself and Cassandra had all taken to referring to each other by our first names. "I really appreciate it." My gratitude was genuine.

I now remembered the letter in my hand and gave it over to Tom who put it in a pocket inside his suit jacket. We all now made our way toward the dining room where this time as Tom's fianc e, I was on his arm and it was both of us who lead the way.

After enjoying a pleasant breakfast, Tom left for Limerick promising me with a goodbye kiss that he would get my letter sent out to mama in the quickest possible way. He also promised to be back as soon as he possibly could.

I was glad that during Tom's absence our time was spent in the usual way as I still felt like my engagement to Tom was not real. I had to keep glancing at my hand that now bore the engagement ring to assure myself that it was indeed true.

"It's a lovely ring..." Cassandra told me with a smile when she caught me looking at it one of those times. I blushed at her words but couldn't keep the smile off of my face.

"Jane..what will you do for a wedding dress?" Cassandra now asked.

"It is a good thing I thought to bring both of my ball gowns. I shall wear one for the ball and one for the wedding." I replied thoughtfully.

"Are you sure that is a good idea?"

"Why not Cass? For one thing, I am getting married in my older years. I am not the "young blushing bride". And after all Tom is marrying me, not the dress."

"I expect you are right. There is no real need to wear a traditional white gown for the wedding."

"And that'll be one less thing to worry about. Especially as it's only a week away." I returned, smiling.

The reality of our engagement did slowly start to sink in over the next few days but with that reality came another...my sister. By marrying Tom and living with him and his family in Ireland, that meant that Cassandra and myself would be separated. I did not relish that idea at all and one day I let her know.

"I do not wish for you to leave me Cass." I told her sadly. "When Tom and myself marry..."

"I do not wish for it either Jane." Cassandra was just as somber as I was.

"Then...stay!" I exclaimed with sudden inspiration.

"You know I can't Jane. What about our mother? You know she can't stay with James's family for the rest of her life. It would not be fair to either of them."

I knew she was right about that. I felt defeated but only momentarily as another idea took a hold of me. "Henry and Eliza!"

"What?" Cassandra asked with a slight frown puckering her forehead.

"Henry and Eliza are going back to England at the beginning of the New Year. They have no family, they can take mama in!"

"Don't you think that you should ask them first before you presume it of them Jane?" Cassandra cautioned me.

"Of course I'll ask them. I am sure they will not object."

"Hmmm..." Was all that Cassandra would say. But if I knew my brother, I would be able to convince him.

"It will be splendid Cass, having you live here with us." I gushed happily.

"You had better be asking Tom first as well while you are asking Henry and Eliza." Cassandra still seemed doubtful.

"Of course, of course." I waved it away. I was more than positive that Tom would not object to Cassandra living here with us. And fully confident of that, I would ask him first and then I would talk to Henry and Eliza, telling them that Tom had agreed. I was already working out in my mind what I would say to Henry...

At the first opportunity I had, I confronted Tom about it. I found him in his office.

"Tom...?" I announced myself quietly as I knocked softly on his door and entered the room.

He looked up from his work and smiled when he saw me. "Yes, Jane?"

I suddenly felt guilty for taking him from his work. "I am sorry to bother you, I promise this will only take a moment of your time."

"It is quite alright Jane. What is it you wish?"

"As you know...Henry, Eliza and..." I paused here slightly before going on. "...my sister will be leaving us at the beginning of the new year."

"Yes...?"

I licked my lips before proceeding. "It's just that..." A pause. "...well..." Another pause. "...it's just that..."

Suddenly Tom's hand went up in a gesture to stop me from continuing. "Please Tom..." I wanted to be able to go on. But he stood up and came over to me. Taking my hands into his and looking me straight in the eye, he said, "You wish for your sister to stay..." he stated gently.

I looked at him in amazement, unable to think of anything to say in reply.

"I know that you are your sister are very close, Jane. I also realize that once they leave here you will no family living near you. Of course Cassandra must stay here. I wouldn't have it any other way for you."

I must have been holding my breath a bit while Tom was speaking for I found myself breathing again. And with that, came my ability to speak. "Oh thank you, Tom! Thank you!"

Tom now brought my hands up to his lips, where he gently kissed them, still looking at me all the while. "Of course Jane. I would do anything to ensure your happiness here with me...with us."

"Oh Tom..." I fairly melted at his touch and his words. "I'm sure I would be happy here with you...it's just..."

"I have my family here and you have none of yours. It is only fair of course and we've plenty of room for your sister." Tom now gently caressed my cheek...I closed my eyes at his touch...

"Oh! Excuse me!" Sarah's voice startled both of us as we broke apart quickly and looked at her. She looked as embarrassed as I felt. "I did not mean to intrude. Forgive me." She bowed and turned to leave the room.

"You must wish to speak to Tom." I now told her kindly. "Do not leave Sarah, I will go now."

"I am sorry..." she apologized again.

"Do not concern yourself about it any longer, Sarah." I reassured her with a smile as I approached her on my way out.

"Thank you, Jane." Her reply was heart-felt.

"Of course." I walked passed her, turned and bowed slightly before quitting the room.

"What is it you wish to speak to me about Sarah?" I heard Tom ask as I was closing the door.

"A letter has come for you from my Aunt Anne Lefroy."

I meant to leave but as I knew Anne, her being mentioned intrigued me and I couldn't help but wonder if everything was alright with the George Lefroy's. Naturally, I was concerned for them.

I heard the sound of an envelope being torn open. I knew I should leave as I'm sure that Tom would let me know if there was anything I should know about but...I couldn't seem to tear myself away either. Finally after several minutes of silence, I heard something I had not expected...at all. Tom...speaking in a most angry voice.

"This is an outrage!" he exclaimed furiously.

"Tom! What is it?" The concern in Sarah's voice was obvious.

"Apparently...my Aunt Anne has found out about my engagement to Jane and forbids it!"

At these words, I felt like I had been suddenly thrown back in time to 17 1/2 years ago to when I was standing outside of Tom's great-uncle's dining room, listening to him hurl his abuse at both of us.

"What?" Came Sarah's shocked voice in a low tone. But I was too numb with my own shock that I just barely heard her...and I didn't hear anything else that was said after that even though I was too dumbfounded to even move. I was even too stunned to feel...but that was the first sense to return to me and all I could feel was pain...a pain that stabbed my heart and tore it's way throughout my body.

Without even knowing or understanding how, I flew from my position outside of Tom's office door and blindly ran towards the staircase, tears starting to sting the corners of my eyes. I vaguely heard someone-Cassandra, I think-calling my name but I didn't stop. I continued up the stairs and until I reached our room where as soon as I was inside, I went over to the wardrobe, threw open the doors, dug out both Cassandra's and my bags and threw them on the bed. I next started grabbing our clothes out of the wardrobe and throwing them on the bed as well...and none to gently.

"Jane? Jane!" Cassandra had now entered the room. "Jane what is it? What has happened that has gotten you so upset?"

I didn't stop my activity as I answered my sister. "We're leaving Cassandra and as soon as possible. Henry and Eliza can come with us if they wish to and are able to get themselves ready, but you and I are leaving as soon as we can."

"Whatever are you talking about, Jane? You and Tom...oh do STOP this Jane and talk to me! Please dearest! Tell me what happened?" Cassandra begged me. I felt her grab my arms to prevent me from continuing on with "packing" our belongings. "Stop it, Jane! Talk to me! Please!"

Cassandra now placed her hands on my face forcing me to look at her and sat us both down on the bed.

"Talk to me Jane...please." She repeated more gently this time.

I had to gulp before speaking. "Sarah brought a letter to Tom and I overheard him. His uncle has forbade our union." I whispered in a confused state. "Again."

I noticed Cassandra's baffled expression. "What?" she exclaimed.

"Tom's uncle has forbade our union...just as he did before." I repeated.

"I...I think you are confused dearest...Tom's uncle is dead..." She reminded me gently.

I closed my eyes and shook my head slightly in hopes to clear my mind.

"No..." I suddenly said slowly as realization dawned on me." "Not his uncle...his aunt."

"His aunt?" Cassandra questioned, still puzzled.

"Yes...his aunt...Anne...Anne Lefroy..." I finished dully.

I heard Cassandra gasp at the information I had just revealed. "Anne Lefroy!" She exclaimed in a low, shocked tone.

We lapsed into silence for a few minutes before Cassandra spoke up again. "But how would she know of your engagement already?" she wondered.

I had wondered about that as well but only briefly. "Our mother Cass...remember...Henry admitted that he had told her in order to give us permission to come here over Christmas. I can very well imagine our mother not being able to wait to 'share the news' with Anne Lefroy after putting up with Anne practically flaunting Tom's marriage to Mary and their family...not to mention his success in our faces for all of those years."

I could see by the look in my sister's eyes and face that she agreed with me in this. "It's over Cass...again." With these words, I couldn't stop the tears that had been threatening to fall. But I was glad that I was with my sister. I didn't mind crying on her shoulder. She had always been a great comfort to me.

"I am so sorry dearest Jane...but I am not entirely convinced that Tom believes it's over."

"It IS!" I exclaimed furiously. And with that, I jumped up and continued on with our 'packing up'.

"Jane..." Cassandra also stood up. 'You need to talk with Tom..."

"NO!" I replied stubbornly. "I should have known that this was going to happen again. It just wasn't meant to be for Tom and myself."

"Jane..." Cassandra started.

"No..." I cut her off again. "I know you mean well Cass but please don't. Just do me a favour and tell Henry and Eliza about what has happened and of our plans to leave as immediately as possible. They can stay if they wish or they can come with us, if they want to and are able to get ready quick enough."

My sister looked at me with what I interpreted as pity, embraced me and then left the room. It was after she left that I sat down on the bed and finally allowed myself a good cry...the one that had been building up inside of myself since hearing the news outside of Tom's office door...

I don't know how long it was before I heard Henry's knock on the door but I dried my eyes and blew my nose before allowing him to enter. I didn't want him to see just how upset I was. I know how concerned he was for me the last time this had happened and I didn't want to worry him again.

Standing up straight and tall and feeling a bit more calm and composed, I said, "Come in."

When the door opened, I took a surprised step backward as the person who entered was not Henry...nor Eliza...nor even Cassandra. It was Tom.