Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all Twilight Saga and characters.
I saw Anna sitting on the front steps of the school talking to a girl I didn't know. The girl looked younger than Anna, closer to my alleged age. Anna was only 16 but she looked a bit older and sophisticated. Anna was a 10th grader and I was coming in as a freshmen. I wondered if it bothered her to have to talk to me. Jacob parked the car in front of the school and waved at Anna from his seat.
"Don't worry too much Loch Ness. You'll break out in pimples and those suckers will really stand out with your pale complexion." He poked my cheek, making it tingle slightly, and then he gave me his playful smile.
"Sure, sure. I bet that's exactly what you want Black. That way nobody will date me and I'll be stuck with you for-EVER." I gave in a mocking look of distaste as I opened the car door. He chuckled and took my hand in his.
"You'll do great. Love ya' kiddo." He said in a more serious tone and then he gave me his loving smile. The smile that shines brighter than the brightest sun- the smile that causes pressure and warmth in the center of my chest. I showed him a picture of his smile and I projected 'I love you too' as I turned from him. I left the car and closed the door behind me before he could respond.
Anna stood and smiled awkwardly at me as I approached her. Her friend looked at my smiling invitingly, her eyes full of curiosity. I tried to regain my control as I stepped closer to them but I was certain that my heart was beating faster.
"Hi Nessie." Anna began, "This is my friend Carol. We're in the same grade. Carol, this is my friend Nessie. She just moved here." I extended my hand to her in greeting. She took it and smiled.
"Nice to meet you Carol."
"Nice to finally meet you too. Anna had told us a little bit about you. You definitely are not what I expected."
"Oh." I shrugged my shoulders awkwardly. I pulled my new Chanel bag a little closer, trying to hide it. I assumed she meant I dressed differently. I couldn't believe I didn't think about that before. Did these kids wear designer? Anna must have seen my discomfort.
"She just meant that she assumed you were Quileute too." Anna corrected. "Even though I told here you were the chief's niece." She continued, annoyed at her friend.
"You also said she spoke Quileute fluently which is why I got confused. Either way, welcome." She smiled kindly.
"Well let's go get your schedule and I'll give you the tour." Anna directed us towards the door.
The tour was uneventful. I stopped listening after a while, choosing to direct my focus on the architecture, displays, and writings on the walls. It definitely wasn't as glamorous as the high schools on television but it would do. Anna and Carol stopped in front of the first door they showed me. Homeroom.
"We're a grade ahead of you so we have a different homeroom. Ms. Clearwater is already in there with a few other students so you'll be ok right? Or do you want us to wait with you?" I mentally rolled my eyes at her. I could hear the hesitation in her second question. She was hoping I declined her offer.
"I'll be fine Anna. Thank you both for showing me around. I'll see you girls later." I waved at them quickly and headed inside. I took a seat at the front of the class as far away as possible from the curious eyes in the back. Leah eyed me curiously as I opened my book and took out my materials.
"You are supposed to introduce yourself and present your teachers with token. An apple or some other type of fruit should suffice." She smiled mockingly.
"Hmm. So does this mean you'll spank me with a ruler?" I said too low for the other students to hear. Leah busted out laughing as I continued at a human volume.
"I apologize for my oversight Ms. Clearwater. I'll be sure to bring something for you tomorrow."
"Naw, it's only a first day of school tradition. Maybe next year." She smirked and the other students began to enter the class. The bell rang a few moments later and the remaining students rushed in to take a seat.
Every student that entered paused to look at me. As soon as they took a seat they conferred to their friends in hushed tones thinking I wouldn't be able to hear. Who's the new girl? She's hot! Did you see what she is wearing? Do you think they are real or fake? Why do you think she is here? Is she seeing anyone? On and on the questions continued until Leah finally hushed them and introduced me to the class. She introduced herself and continued with her usual class. I took notes but I didn't really need to. I doodled wolves on my notebook until the end of class. Every class was the same, surprised looks, followed my questions followed my introductions and then class. It was all very monotonous.
At lunch time, I went to the cafeteria to look for Anna and Carol. As soon as I entered the cafeteria the loud sounds that could be heard down the hallways became hushed. I quickly saw that almost everyone was staring at me so I panicked. I whipped out my phone from my back pocket and looked at it in pretend surprise then I looked at my watch as if I just realized I was late for something and I walked back out the door. My face felt warm as I walked down the hall to find the library. 'Was I blushing?' Thankfully the door was open so I entered and waited until my next period.
This was my routine for three days. Finally, on the third day I noted that my novelty was finally dissipating but I still did not dare to enter the dreaded cafeteria. Before lunch, I made sure I was the last to leave class so that I could go into the library without stumbling into anyone; however, I didn't take into account that there might be someone waiting for me at the library door.
Anna leaned against the doorframe waiting. Here brows were slightly furrowed as if she were thinking about something. She heard me approach and looked at me with a worried smile.
"Hi Anna." I said nonchalantly. She nodded once, pressing her lips lightly.
"Nessie, why don't you like me?"
"What?!" I asked completely taken aback by her question.
"I mean, you are avoiding me right?"
"I guess that's what it looks like, huh? I'm not I promise." I smiled at her.
"I then why haven't you come to lunch with us. I mean, I'm used to you and Leah ignoring me but I thought that was the whole point of you coming here was to be around humans. Everyone has been wondering where you've been. When you kept avoiding us I thought maybe it was me." I saw the sad look on her face and I almost teared up.
"I always thought it was the other way around." I told her. "You are always so quiet when I am around you and when you do say something its usually directed at someone else. You rarely ever talk to me." I said quietly. "I do like you. I was actually hoping that you and I could finally become friends now that we are both in school. It's just that when I entered the cafeteria the first time and everyone stared I …" I took her hand and I showed her instead.
"Pretty silly, huh?" I rolled my eyes myself as I asked her.
"Yea, but it's also pretty human. I'm glad that even a flawless vampire can feel insecure sometimes." She smiled and pulled me towards the cafeteria by my hand, which she was still holding.
"Now let try it together this time. I'll give the 'Leah glare' to anyone who stares. I've been practicing." She said proudly. We both giggled as we entered the cafeteria. Most people paused to watch us come in but it wasn't nearly as bad as the first time. Anna pulled me towards the line and handed me a tray.
"Cafeteria food is part of the high school charm." She explained. She continued in a low voice. "I told everyone you've been taken placement tests, you know, so they can determine what classes to put you in." I smiled at her explanation.
"Thank you, Anna. That was a great idea. Definitely sounds better than she's been hiding out in library." We got our 'food' and sat at table with two younger wolves, Mica and Andrew, as well as, some other students and Carol. I recognized one girl from my English class, Lisa, so I waved at her from across the table as I sat down.
"Nessie, these are Abby, Danny and I think you know Lisa already. You know Mica, Andrew and Carol so guys this is Nessie."
"Hi." I waved shyly at the group feeling completely awkward. Mica smiled kindly and Andrew glared at me. They were both in Sam's pack so I never really got to interact with them. I didn't need to be a mind reader to know Andrew didn't want me in his school. Andrew shoved his chair back and stood.
"I should go to practice." He gathered his trash and walked away. Anna looked surprised as he left.
"So Nessie, where are your parents. Mica said you are staying with Sue and chief Swan." Carol asked before she took a sip from her milk box.
"Yes. My parents are traveling. My dad is an international agricultural researcher. I was homeschooled all my life so when uncle Charlie offered to take me in so that I can finally go to high school like a normal kid I just jumped to it." I grinned as I told my rehearsed story.
"So have you lived in other countries?" Abby asked intrigued. I nodded.
"I've lived in South America mainly. Brazil, Chile, Argentina. I love it down there." I lied. I had visited those countries briefly over the past few years but most of my knowledge of them came from geography class with daddy and uncle Jasper.
"So do you know Spanish or Portuguese?" Danny asked me. He had been staring at me the entire time. I had a feeling he was developing a crush on me.
"Both. I had to." I told him.
"So how do you know Quileute? This is the first time you live here right?"
"Yes it is." I told him. "I know Quileute because of Jacob Black. His family and my family are good friends. I've always loved languages and he thought it was cute that I could already speak 3 languages fluently when I was four so he taught me a few words in Quileute. I loved the language so I made him teach me more and more every time I saw him and every time he called to say hi. He also got me books and stuff for me to learn from."
"Wow! That was nice of him." Carol said, "Its not usual for outsiders to know our language and, ouch! Hey!" She rubbed her leg where I assumed Lisa had kicked her. Lisa was a bit older and I could tell she was more mature than the rest of the group.
"What my cousin means," she clarified while narrowing her eyes at her cousin, "is that its nice that you took an interest in Quileute since not many people outside the reservation do." Lisa emphasized the part she wanted to correct and Carol's face blushed when she realized what she had said.
"Yea, that's what I meant." She said shyly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude."
"Its ok." I told her and gave a sympathetic smile. "Lisa is right. Its very rare for someone like me to know the language. I was just lucky that Jacob was impressed I could learn languages so easily."
We continued talking about my fake adventures down south until the bell rang. The rest of the day was interesting. In one day I had going from always being alone to always having a friend at my side. Someone in the group, except for Andrew, would talk to me in between classes and would sit by me in each class. Carol even passed notes at me during geometry to tell me that a boy named Zack was giving me the eye. After school, Anna and I got our things from our lockers and she walked with me to grandpa Charlie's car. The rest of the week followed the same pattern. I was never alone again and I loved it!
Later that week, momma crossed her arms and glared at aunt Alice angrily through the mirror. Jacob sat on the corner staring at us. I could tell he was trying not to laugh at us, specifically momma.
"Come on Bells, you look nice."
"It's my daughter's birthday. Why do I have to look nice? Why can't I just look like myself?"
"Stop complaining or I'll make you wear an up-do and that will take even longer." Aunt Alice threatened. She pouted and scooted down on her chair. Jacob actually laughed out loud and I chucked at her too.
"Why can't you be more like Nessie? Look how great her hair looks so far and in a few more minutes she'll be perfect." Aunt Rose said as she put the final touches on my hair.
"She's already perfect." Jacob corrected her. She rolled her eyes as he winked at me. I was excited about the party. Both packs were coming along with all the imprints. My birthdays were always big parties since momma made aunt Alice celebrate my birthday once a year instead of every time I looked different. The compromise was that we would have a huge party every year. This was the first year that I would get a more adult theme since I looked more like a teenager than a child now.
"Done! Honey you look so beautiful!" Rosalie commented, then she turned to Jacob. "Alright dog. I said you could stay for the hair but now we're doing makeup and clothes so you can go home and get dressed."
"Sure, sure I'm going." He came over to me and kissed my forehead in a very platonic way. I felt my heart sink a little. 'Will he ever see me differently?' I thought sadly.
"Goodbye ladies. You're both looking great! Make sure you get Bella's frown lines, Alice. She needs all the help she can get!"
"Shut up Jake!" She flung a brush at him but he was already gone.
The Denali arrived first. The entire clan of cousins were present including Tanya's new mate, Nahuel. Nahuel and his aunt stayed with us for a few months after the Volturi left. They were trying to learn more about our lifestyle but Sam was concerned about the towns' safety so we went up to Alaska to visit our extended family. Their connection was almost instant. Nahuel was everything a succubus like Tanya ever wanted, the warmth of humanity but the durability of a vampire. Tanya gave him the opportunity to stop being a monster. Nahuel and Hulien left their old life and never looked back. Their addition brought a new light into the family and helped heal the loss of their sister. Of course, I was happy the Nahuel was officially part of my family. He was like another uncle and he was always there for me. 'We are a unique breed my dear. No one will ever know what this life is like which is why we must always take care of each other.' He told me once. We've been family ever since.
The wolves and their imprints arrived in twos and threes until the entire house was full. Aunt Alice set up a dance floor and several sitting areas for the older guests and a gaming area for the younger ones. Grandma, daddy and momma had set up a banquet style buffet of food for all of the guests and Alice ordered a large 5-tier cake. The living room looked like a dance club scene with pink, purple, and blue lighting. I loved it. There was only one thing missing, Jacob. He said he was on his way but most of my guests there and he was still missing.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" Grandpa Charlie sat next to me with a beer. Grandma Sue was talking to Leah and uncle Seth about his college classes. He was in the pre-med program at Stanford, thanks to grandpa Carlisle. We were all very proud when he got accepted.
"Nothing. I was just wondering where Jake was. It's not like him to be this late." I told him. Daddy looked at me and smiled. It made me wonder if he knew where Jacob was. He shrugged, which made me suspicious.
"He'll be here. That boy is attached to you like glue." He commented. I could tell that he was still a bit disturbed by Jacob's closeness to me. Grandpa didn't understand our relationship. I don't blame him. Sometimes, I didn't understand it either.
"Hey Nessie. Someone is waiting for you outside." Uncle Emmett told me. I excused myself and nearly ran to the door. As soon as I walked outside, I started laughing. Jacob was standing with his arms crossed next to a motorcycle that had a huge pink bow on top. He gave me a strange look when we first made eye contact but I was too excited to realize what it was. I ran into his arms at super speed to hug him.
'Grandpa is going to kill you!' I told him with my gift then I kissed his cheek and whispered 'Thank you,' so softly that only he could hear it.
"A bike! Edward! You let him get my granddaughter a bike!" Grandpa Charlie said angrily when he saw my new bike.
"It's ok Charlie. She can handle a bike. Trust me." Daddy told him. Grandpa grunted and went back inside the house.
"You're only allowed to use it when you have me or your parents around to ride with you. That's the condition." Jacob told me. I nodded in agreement and examined my new bike.
"That's not fair. She doesn't even have a license yet does she?" One of the younger wolves asked.
"No, Stephen." Momma told him, "That's why she needs to ride with one of us." I hoped on my bike and turned on the ignition. I accelerated and rode the bike around the front yard then I parked it back where Jacob left it.
"That's my girl. You're a natural." He said proudly and he took my hand to help me off the bike. Almost everyone had walked back inside.
"Yea well. I've picked up a thing or two over the years. I am exceptionally smart, you know." I teased him.
"Sure, sure. If you are so smart then why couldn't you figure out what I was getting you?"
I narrowed my eyes at him, feigning annoyance. I was about to come back with some smart retort but then his face changed. Something in his expression stopped me.
"You look really beautiful Ness." He said suddenly and out of context, effectively throwing me off. I looked down at my dress. I shrugged.
"It's the dress. Aunt Alice made a good choice." He took my hand shaking his head at my observation.
"No. Its not the dress although its also very pretty." He smiled at me at me but the smile didn't reach his eyes. There was almost sadness there. We walked into the party, hand in hand, and joined everyone in the festivities. I danced with my father, grandfather and all of my uncles. Some of the wolves also asked me to dance but I mostly danced with the girls. I was dancing with Anna when Carol and Lisa showed up. They were the only two non-imprinted humans at the party. Aunt Alice insisted that Carol and I would be lifelong friends so she had Anna and I invite them. It was only a week after school started so I am sure it was a bit strange for them to be invited to my birthday party. I greeted them and introduced them to my family to make them feel welcome. Then Anna grabbed both of them by the hand and immediately ushered them to the dance floor. I rolled my eyes and followed. It only took a moment for it to happen. One moment the girls and I were dancing and the next Carol looked into Steven's eyes and they were imprinted. He was an eighth grader so he had not seen her since he phased.
"Oh shit! Here we go again." Leah said from the corner where she was drinking a beer with Rachel and Paul. Steven gawked at Carol like she was the brightest star in a sea of darkness. Sam put his arm around him.
"Come on pup. Let's take a walk." He told him as he dragged him outside.
"Who was that?" Carol asked me.
"The older one is Sam and the younger one is Steven. He's an eighth grader."
"Wow. He definitely doesn't look like an eighth grader." She said blushing. I smiled and pretended to be oblivious to what just happened. The party finally died down and people started to leave. I still hadn't danced with Jacob. He spent the entire night eating, drinking and talking to the other wolves. I would catch him glancing at me. He would smile at me every time, unabashed. He wasn't watching me with a jealous look or even a concerned look. Instead, he was happy for me. He was giving me space to enjoy my friends. The problem was that the only person I wanted around me was him. After I said goodbye to my human friends, I sat by uncle Seth who was playing video games with Mica.
"Hey sweetie, wanna play?" He asked me.
"No. I'm fine here." I saw Paul and Rachel walk up the dance floor for a slow dance. Kim and Jared followed after them. Jacob finally walked up to me and extended his hand.
"I think its my turn to dance with the birthday girl." He told me. 'Finally!' I thought and I took his hand.
We walked to the dance floor and started dancing with the other couples. I got close to him and put my ear to his chest. I could hear his heart beat and I closed my eyes to listen to its gentle hum. I felt his lips on my hair. I had hoped that this night, this dress, this hair would somehow awaken something different in him but it didn't. His kisses, his touches were platonic and my heart was despair, sending my emotions into haywire.
It was at that moment that I made a mistake. It all took one second. I opened my eyes and I saw Jared kiss Kim's forehead. It was such a familiar action, so similar to the thousands of kisses Jake had given me, yet it was also completely different. I saw how different the love they shared was from mine and I wanted what they had more than anything else I have ever wanted. The emotion that came over me took me completely by surprise and for one miniscule moment a lost control of my gift. As soon as the image of Jacob and I sharing a kiss like theirs came into my mind, the image projected out of me into Jacob. I felt his entire body tense in surprise. I let go of him, feeling the horror stain my cheeks. I gulped down the bile starting to rise in my throat and I left the house. I didn't look at him. Not once.
I went out to the porch. I sat on one of the steps trying to calm my nerves and to cool the warmth on my cheeks. Jacob sat next to me and waited. After a few minutes he sighed.
"Anything we need to talk about?" He asked solemnly.
"Nope." I popped my 'p' for emphasis. He sighed again and waited again.
"I'm sorry Jake. I looked at all the couples around me and I just wondered when it would be my turn. I didn't really mean anything by it." I lied. Jacob nodded. I wasn't sure if he believed me. He looked uncertain. I swallowed down my guilt and took his hand in mine. I needed to put on a brave face.
"I did just turn into a teenager, Jake. Its just hormones so relax. When your best friend is gorgeous, things are bound to get a bit murky. Give me another week or two and I am sure I will be back to my old self." I patted his hand and gave him a sympathetic but teasing smile. He laughed, relieved. He bought it and it made my heart break.
"Ah the teenage years. I'll be sure to warn your dad about it, though I am sure your mom won't mind if you start dating." I wanted to ask if he minded but in that moment I had never been so afraid of anyone in my life. I saw how relieved he looked and how light hearted he talked about me dating someone else. Why did he have to be so damn relieved? He hated the idea of us so much that he wanted me to date other people. I felt the familiar pang of hurt in my chest. His indifference stabbed me like daggers. I realized that no one on this planet would ever be able to hurt me as this man could. So I didn't ask him if he minded that I dated, because I knew his answer would cut me like knives and I didn't want to hear it.
"Come on old man. Let's go kick uncle Seth's butt at Halo." I said getting up. We walked back into the house leaving the piece of my heart, crumbled on the porch step behind me.