CHAPTER 25

Jane:

Because of the late night before, everyone rose a bit late the next day. The day of my marriage to Tom, I suddenly thought with a bit of a jolt after I had woken up. Here it was, December 23rd and aside from the letter from Tom's aunt Anne Lefroy, nothing had stopped us from our wedding...yet. (My heart still continued to be in some doubt that the marriage would happen). One thing, his family-brothers and sisters that is-did seem to approve of me and best to my knowledge, didn't object to our union.

I stayed in bed for as long as I dared to, wanting to savour these last moments that Cassandra and I would have sharing a room.

Throughout the week since Tom's proposal, we made some arrangements for the wedding. One of those was an idea I had come up with.

"Do you think the children would like to be part of the ceremony?" I had asked Tom not long after he proposed to me. He looked back at me in surprise at my question. I had already said without question that Cassandra would stand up for me. And Henry even volunteered to "give me" to Tom.

"I don't know." He had admitted. "Why don't we ask them?"

And we did just that, before our reading that night.

"Miss Jane brought up an idea to me this afternoon." He addressed his children, which gained everyone's attention. "How would you like to be part of our wedding ceremony?"

Not surprising, the girls first gasped but then quickly gave their affirmatives with obvious delight. The boys were a little less enthusiastic.

"How would you want us to be a part of the ceremony, father?" Anthony asked.

"The girls would be attendants for Miss Jane, walking ahead of her to where myself and the clergyman would be waiting, while you boys would be my attendants, waiting alongside with me. As you are my oldest Anthony, I was thinking...I would be honoured if you would stand up for me." Tom explained.

Anthony raised his eyebrows at this, in surprise I'll assume, but then he smiled at his father as he replied softly, "Of course, I would be honoured to do so, father." To which Tom returned his smile. "And how about you younger boys? Will you stand up there with your brother and sisters as well? For me and Miss Jane?"

Thomas, George and Jeffry all looked at one another at first as everyone else looked at them. I believe that it was because their other siblings were all going to be part of the ceremony that they too decided that they did not want to be left out. It really only took a moment longer for Thomas to agree to be part of it and then both George and Jeffry also agreed to it as well.

And now the day was upon us. As we had only a week in which to prepare for it, we didn't worry about special wedding clothes. It was decided that we would wear our best clothes that had not been worn at the ball the previous evening.

The only thing that really needed to be done was to move my clothes and personal items into Tom's room. I brought out my bag, set it on the bed and slowly put my belongings into it. Tom had instructed me before that once I was finished, I was to leave my bag outside his bedchamber door and it would be taken care of.

Other than that, there wasn't really anything that we needed to do with any preparations so the day was spent rather leisurely which was fine with me. Tom had invited his brothers and sisters to the wedding which they accepted and like the day before for the ball, had all arrived at various times during the afternoon. At least this time, I was more familiar with them. I was rather enjoying the afternoon which was spent visiting with both Tom's family and my own that I almost forgot that it was our wedding day.

We had decided on a 7:00 start to the ceremony which was to be followed by a celebratory meal that all of the guests were of course invited to stay for as well. Tom's staff had set up chairs in the ball room where the wedding would take place. The clergyman, a Mr. Palmer, arrived in plenty of time before the wedding. He did not show up only to do the ceremony and then leave. He arrived early on and sat down with us, with the obvious intention of getting to know who he was marrying. I liked how he made the effort to get to know Tom and myself.

Before I knew it, the girls were all encouraging me to go upstairs and start to get myself ready. I was almost thinking that they were more enthusiastic about this than I was as they all seemed to be quite eager to get started on their own dress and appearance. I couldn't help but smile at them. I didn't understand it myself about the rush to do so as there wasn't much I needed to do but put on my other ball dress, but I humoured them and allowed them to take me upstairs to my-soon to be only Cassandra's-room. At least Cassandra came with me while Tom's daughters went to their own room to get ready with the help of Anna, Sarah and Phoebe.

I admit that it was kind of nice to just sit and visit with Cassandra as her still unmarried sister, one last time. We talked over old times, about the dreams we once shared and what the future might hold for us yet. When at last we knew we couldn't...or shouldn't hold off any longer, Cassandra and I got into our own dresses. After helping me to redo my hair, my sister scrutinized me, fixing a piece of hair here or straightening my dress there...until she was satisfied with the outcome herself.

Standing back, she said looking me over, "Tom is a very lucky man, Jane."

"I think I'm the lucky one, Cass."

"You are both lucky then." She said firmly.

There came a knock at the door just then, "Are you ready in there?" It was Sarah's voice.

Cassandra and I looked at each other and then embraced. "I love you Cass." I whispered to her. "Thank you for everything." Again, I felt my eyes go misty as I said these words, feeling like I was going away from her forever.

"And I love you, Jane. I am not going anywhere. I will always be here for you." She promised me as if she could read my mind. Breaking our embrace, she took my hand and said, "Let us go towards your new life."

She then opened the door to Sarah and Tom's daughters whom, once again looked as fine as they had for the ball the previous evening.

"You look lovely Jane..." Sarah smiled at me.

"Thank you Sarah, you look lovely as well. As do you girls." I returned smiling at each of them. "Tom really has such a beautiful family." I was rewarded with beaming smiles all around.

"Phoebe has gone down to see if everyone else is ready to start. She will let us know when we can proceed downstairs." Sarah now informed us.

Phoebe returned maybe 10 minutes later and with Henry to let us know that everything was ready. Under the direction of their aunts, Tom's daughters proceeded Cassandra and myself with Henry...first was little Mary, followed by Anne and then Jane towards the stairs and then down.

Before Cassandra walked ahead of me, she quickly hugged me one last time. "This is it!" She whispered into my ear, then quickly took my hands into hers, giving them a gentle squeeze. Then with an encouraging smile she started after Jane.

Henry held out his arm for me to take saying, "Eliza and myself are truly happy for both you and Tom, Jane. You really do belong together and we are delighted that you have found each other again. Tom has more than proved his worth and I am both proud and honoured to escort you to your soon-to-be husband."

Once again those tears gathered in the corners of my eyes at Henry's words. I blinked them back as I kissed my brother on the cheek and then smiled at him.

"Are you ready to start this chapter of your life, so to speak, then Jane?" He asked me gently and without any teasing.

"I am." I replied as I nodded, then we too made our way to the stairs then down, on to the ballroom, towards my husband-to-be and my life as the second Mrs. Tom Lefroy...

All eyes turned towards us as we entered the ballroom-I was glad that Henry was there with me. It was surreal to me as we walked between where the chairs had been placed in the soft glow of the candle-light and made our way to Tom and his sons who were all looking so handsome.

When my eyes met Tom's, each become locked into the others until I was face to face with Tom. Henry kissed my cheek then taking my hand, reached out for Tom's then placed Tom's had over mine and lastly, Henry placed his own hand over both of ours.

"I speak for all of the Austen family when I say that we trust you to look after our Jane Tom, as she deserves to be." For the first time in a long time, I saw that Henry was completely serious as he spoke these words to Tom. There was not one single hint of humour or amusement in his voice or his face.

Looking directly into Henry's eyes and speaking with equal seriousness Tom replied firmly, "I will. You know I will." Henry and Tom bowed slightly to one another, then Henry left us to join Eliza who was of course already seated.

And there amidst Tom's family both children and siblings alike and my own family...in the soft glow of candle-light and Christmas decor, Tom and I said our vows, pledging our love to one another "til death do us part." At these words, I remembered other words...words that Tom had said to me on the night he proposed to me. "...shall always love you even after our bones have turned to dust beneath the earth's surface. For eternity Jane, I shall love you." These words along with the emotions I had been feeling already because of the wedding were enough to cause a couple of tears to fall, but I smiled through them at Tom as he kissed me...after which our families gathered around us giving us congratulatory hugs, kisses and handshakes along with good wishes for a long, healthy, happy life together.

Our families stood around visiting with one another while we took care of the legal part of our marriage.

I finally felt like I could relax as everyone made their way to the dining room where Tom's...I mean, "our" staff had laid a splendid table of food for us to enjoy. Once we were all seated the atmosphere and conversation become more relaxed and casual...I would even say jovial, as we all enjoyed the "bridal feast".

Because it was Christmas Eve, everyone decided to leave not long after they had finished their meal, once again congratulating us as they said their good-byes.

As it was Christmas Eve as well as our wedding night, we had a special family gathering before retiring for the night. We did not read this night, instead we sat around and visited in a light hearted manner, discussing the ball, the wedding as well as Christmas. The girls expressed their enthusiasm for being included in the wedding while the younger boys, although wouldn't admit it as easily as the girls, admitted that they felt rather "grown up" being a part of this special ceremony and standing up front with their father.

After we had exhausted our conversations and it was unanimously decided that it was time to go to bed, each of the girls came over and kissed me before leaving for their room. The younger boys chose to embrace me in a hug instead. But Anthony bowed to me and I returned it with a smile as I did not object to this. I understood that he was at an age where he was practically a young man and not too far off being independent. I respected his decision to acknowledge me with just a bow.

Tom and I said our good nights to Henry and Eliza and lastly to Cassandra, who with a pang in my heart would be sleeping in what had been our room alone for the first time. Not that Cassandra and myself had never been parted, of course we had...both of us would go visiting different people at different times. And then there were the times I would travel to London with Henry and Eliza about my books. But this was different because we both knew it would be forever. But I held onto the fact that at least Cassandra wouldn't be leaving when Henry and Eliza left. She would remain here with us and for that I was once again grateful to Tom for understanding.

Finally...it was just Tom and myself as we made Tom's usual rounds of the house before ascending upstairs to..."our" room. It was a large room of course, bigger than the one that Cassandra and I shared. Aside from the usual, the bed and chest of drawers, there was a trunk at the foot of the bed, a night stand on either side of the bed, two comfortable looking chairs, and a dresser with a mirror on it where there was a pitcher and washbasin which was partially hidden by an attractive folding screen.

Smiling at me, he encircled my waist with his arms and said, "Finally...here we are Jane...Mrs. Lefroy. Together at last." He bent down and we shared our first kiss as husband and wife...

After a few minutes of just enjoying the moment, Tom pointed to the folding screen in which I could get changed into my nightgown behind. I had to assume that Tom was also changing, so I made sure to take my time as I admit that I was not ready to catch Tom half way through changing.

After I had changed, I moved over to the dresser with the mirror and washbasin, let my hair down and started brushing it. As I had been purposely taking my time, I was sure that Tom should be changed himself by now and cautiously, I turned around and peered out from the screen and noticed that Tom who was now sitting on the bed had indeed changed. Breathing a bit more easily, I moved out slowly from behind the screen. As soon as Tom noticed me, he stood up, watching me. Feeling rather awkward, I made my way towards him, stopping just a few feet in front of him. He had a bit of a peculiar look on his face.

"What is it?" I asked him, suddenly afraid that he maybe had changed his mind about marrying me after all.

"It's just...I have never seen you with your hair down before.." he told me gently as he gazed at my hair and my face. "It's beautiful...you are beautiful..."

I felt myself blush as his words, but I was pleased. As he advanced towards me, I suddenly felt slightly afraid again...afraid of what I didn't know and what he knew all too well...Without thinking, I held up one of my hands. "Tom...this is all so new to me...please...forgive me...please can we hold off...on that for tonight?"

Tom stopped and looked a bit surprised at my words, but then reaching for my hands and taking them into his own he looked right into my eyes and said, "I promised you that I would not force you Jane and I meant that." He paused for a moment here. "But do you object to your husband holding his new wife on the night of their wedding?"

I shook my head at this, "No...of course I've no objections..." I replied softly.

Smiling, Tom took my hands and lead me over to the bed, helped me in and after blowing out the candle on his side, took me in his arms. And we stayed like that through our first night together as husband and wife.