Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all Twilight Saga and characters.
During my lunch break I took a big risk and went to visit Leah during lunch. She was about to head out for lunch in the teacher's lounge.
"Hey Nessie. What'cha doing here kid?" She grabbed her phone from her desk and walked up to me.
"Steven told Carol about the wolves. Carol thought that in order to be with Steven she had to become a werewolf too." I told her. She immediately began laughing.
"That's a new one. I'll have to tell the guys. They'll love it!"
"I was talking to her about imprinting and she mentioned something that I never thought about before. I was hoping I could ask you about it but you have to promise to try to keep it to yourself. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about it." She shrugged her shoulders and signaled for us to sit.
"Um, I am not sure I am the best person to talk to about this. I haven't imprinted." She said as she slid into a desk. I sat in the one next to hers.
"You're my best friend and Jacob's beta so you are the best person."
"Ok... shoot."
"I was just wondering why Jake never dated. I've never seen him with a girl or date anyone, really." I could tell she was surprised by my question.
"You want Jake to date?" She asked skeptically.
"I want Jake to be happy." I said honestly but I didn't answer her question.
"Oh really?" She looked at me skeptically. Leah picked up on everything. I rolled my eyes at her and continued.
"The night of my birthday, Jake told me that I should date. Why shouldn't I want the same for him?" I told her. I edited out a lot but I couldn't risk Jake finding out.
"So why do you want him to date? Won't that bother you?"
"That's not really the point. I know he loves me and wants me to be happy which is why he told me it was ok to date but I was thinking that if he is so ok with me dating then why he hasn't dated anyone over the past few years."
"I see. You think that if he really doesn't think that there is a problem with an imprint dating other people, then he would've been dating someone all this time." I nodded and she continued.
"We've actually talked about this before but the thing is that he's just not interested. The 'turd is genuinely happy with his life and has no need to find happiness somewhere else. I mean most of us who are single feel lonely at some level or want some sort of companionship sometimes but he doesn't feel the need for that. It's kinda irritating actually."
"So it has nothing to do with me." I said softly.
"Are you nuts! It has everything to do with you." Leah looked at me for a moment as if she was trying to read something in my eyes. It was very unnerving.
"What is this really about?" She continued, "I'm not above hanging you upside down from a tree and beating you like a piñata so spill it." I was not sure if I should confess but I did it anyway. After all, Leah was my best friend.
"My feelings for him are starting to change. I think... I don't know Leah. A part of me doesn't want anything to change and another part of me wishes it did."
"Oh." She started to fidget in her chair. I narrowed my eyes at her.
"Is there something wrong with that?"
"No!" She paused and appraised me one more time. "Ok, listen kid. None of us have a clear understanding of imprinting. Give it time. If it's meant to be then it will probably happen. I know you hate this, but you are still so young. You are barely a teenager and to have that kind of relationship with a wolf." She shook her head. "I don't know if its the right thing."
"What do you mean?"
"When the other guys imprinted, the wolf imprinted too. I don't know how to explain it but its like the wolf part of us has a connection too. I mean you know how hard it is for us to get a grip on our emotions. That's because the wolf has an influence on what we are feeling, it amplifies everything we feel. When the Paul, Jared and the other guys imprinted, well... Damn it, how do I say this? It was very raw even primal at times and you are just a kid, Ness. I don't think you are ready for that and frankly it would be wrong for Jake to have that type of relationship with you. Eddie will cut his balls off and I wouldn't blame him." I stared at her shocked.
"I don't want to have sex with him Leah! I just... I don't know." I wanted to put my head down on the desk but I held my head high.
"All I'm saying is that once those feelings start he may not be able to control them. He's gonna want you in ways that he shouldn't want a 4 year old."
"I'm 14." I corrected as got up from the desk. I was annoyed. "And I get it. This is all irrelevant. The fact of the matter is that I don't know what I want or what I feel but whatever it is, it definitely has nothing to do with sex. Just forget I said anything. I'm going to lunch."
I couldn't believe what she has insinuated. Why couldn't Jake be in love with me without it being sexual? It wasn't impossible. I was quiet for the rest of the day. My talk with Leah had been a complete waste of time and to make it worst, we had our first fight. I was miserable.
When I arrived at the cottage, mom was in the kitchen making dinner. Daisy came running to the door to greet me. I picked her up and sat with her on the couch to pet her.
"Where's daddy?"
"He's out hunting with your uncles. They might all be coming over to the Forks house this weekend with your aunts."
"That's nice." I told her. I knew she would be able to tell something was wrong so didn't even try to hide it. She came over to the couch and sat next to me Daisy hopped off and went to her bed. She still didn't like the vampires but at least she had finally warmed up to me. Momma took my hand.
"Let's go walk Daisy and then when you're ready, you can tell me." I nodded. I took Daisy's leash out and strapped her to it. Then we both headed out through the woods. When we got to a small clearing I let Daisy off the leash so she can play. Mom sat on the ground and patted the spot next to her. It was a clear day so her skin glimmered like diamonds. She looked like a dream. I sat and began telling her what happened.
"I had a little fight with Leah."
"Oh?" I caught her by surprise. "What about?"
"Jacob."
"Ah." She nodded her head as if this was what she was expecting.
"I just asked her why Jake didn't date anyone and she took it the wrong way."
"What way is that?" Momma's eye brow raised giving her quizzical look that reminded me of grandpa Charlie.
"She thought that I wanted Jake to date me?"
"And you don't want that?" She asked me doubtfully.
"I don't know mom. This is really difficult to talk about with you." I tried not to grumble when I told her that.
"Trust me, I know. But at least if you talk to me about it, you never have to worry about your dad finding out."
"Yea but I have to worry about my mom knowing." She laughed
"Are you getting feelings for Jacob?"
"I little. Its been changing over time but I am not sure what I feel. I don't really want anything to change Mom, I really don't but…"
"But you also want things to change at the same time, right?"
"Yes... Leah said that it would be wrong for Jake to feel this way about me. She said that once those feelings start the wolf will magnify them and that he wouldn't be able to control himself around me."
"Leah needs to give Jake a little more credit. I trust Jake completely and even though I think you are too young, I know that Jake will be a complete gentleman."
"I know that too but it doesn't matter. He doesn't see me that way. I thought that the fact that he hasn't dated anyone meant that he might be waiting for me but Leah cleared that up for me too."
"Jake isn't really waiting to fall in love with you. You are a part of him regardless of who you fall in love with."
"I don't want ot fall in love with anyone else. I want him. Its always been Jacob."I felt moms arm come around me. I laid my head on her lap and she rubbed my back soothingly.
"The truth is that it would break his heart if things changed between you two." Mom told me. I nodded knowing that it was true.
"I know that feeling. I feel as if I would lose something precious if things changed."
"Agh! I can't believe I'm saying this but have you considered that you might gain something even more precious than what you already have. I'm not advocating for you to start dating Jake before you are ready, but I don't want you to be miserable by thinking too much about your relationship. You two are meant to be together so don't over think it. In fact, don't think about it at all. Just let it evolve naturally and you'll see that everything will fall in its place. Go to school, go out with your friends, even date if you want but don't put your life on hold waiting for the imprint to evolve. If things change now for you two then great but if they don't just have fun." I sat up and looked at her to see if she was seriously telling to just go out and have fun with some human kid. She took my face in her hands and dried my tears with her thumbs. "Live sweetie, and when its time you'll know. It will be perfect and right and you will both be ready when it happens." I wrapped my arms around her waist and she stroked my hair.
"Thank you mom, I love you."
"I love you too my little nudger."
We decided to walk home at human pace so that we could talk some more. I was grateful that I had such an understanding mother. When we entered the cottage we saw uncle Seth laying on the couch. He looked terrible.
"Seth? What happened?"
"Where is everybody? Where's Edward?"
"He's out hunting with the guys. What's going on Seth? You look awful."
"I don't know. Sometime ago, I want to say... maybe 3 months ago I felt this pressure in my chest. It would come and go so I didn't really think anything about it. I thought it was just the stress form school but its getting worst, a lot worse."
"I'm calling Carlisle." Mom wet to the phone and started talking to grandpa. I sat next to uncle Seth and took his hand. It was hot. Really hot. I put my hand to his forehead and slid it to touch his face and neck.
"Momma he's really hot. At least 8 degrees hotter, maybe more." She started dialing again. This time she called my father. Then she called Leah and Jacob too. I sat back on the couch and brought his head to my lap so that I could stroke his hair.
"Thanks Nessie. I feel like something is terribly wrong. Like I need to protect someone, like could phase any minute."
"Grandpa and daddy will be here soon. Try to rest." I told him. Momma looked at him worried. She got an ice pack and laid it on his head. She loved Seth. She was happy that he was her stepbrother.
"Are you hungry? I can make something." She told him.
"Naw, its ok." He told her from my lap. Momma and I both looked at each other with the same troubled look. Since when did Seth reject food?
Leah was the first to arrive. She kneeled before Seth and touched his forehead. Her brows furrowed with worry. Jacob and daddy came in at the same time. Jacob stood by the door with a worried look on his face as my dad started examining him.
"You definitely have a fever. Let's go to the main house. Most of the medical equipment is there. Can you walk Seth?"
"Yea, I don't feel weak. I'm just tense, alert; I don't know how to explain it."
"I'm going to get some blood work going while we wait for Carlisle. He should be here in less than ten minutes."
Uncle Seth got up as I did. We all walked with him at human speed to the main house and daddy started the blood work immediately. Jake sat on the couch. He was leaning forward resting his elbows on his knees. I walked towards him and took his arms off his knee so that I could sit on his lap. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me to him. He was tense. I stroked his arm until he finally relaxed a bit. Grandpa and grandma came in with my aunts. My uncles had already come to the house to set up the medical equipment while dad examined Seth. Leah was about to lose her mind. It was almost an hour before we heard anything. All three of them walked down the steps. Seth followed by my dad and grandfather.
"What happened? Is he ok? Should he be standing?" Leah asked quickly.
"I'm fine. It passed again." Uncle Seth told her. He tried to smile but she looked to fierce that he didn't.
"All his blood work is negative. His temperature is at the level all of you experience when you are about to phase. That's why he felt like he needed to phase earlier. I don't know why he is experiencing the pressure in his chest but the tension is possibly from him holding on to his human form while his body wants to phase into a wolf. Muscle tension and high temperature are the first indicators of a wolf that is about to phase. His body is in a constant state of preparation for a phase that doesn't happen. It can be exhausting which is why he looks like he hasn't slept." Grandpa told us.
"Why do you need to phase so bad?" Jake asked him.
"I don't know. It comes and goes but even when I phase I still feel like I need to be somewhere. Like someone needs my help. I kept thinking there was a vampire nearby but I've been patrolling the campus and came up with nothing. The chest pressure doesn't go away but the high temperature comes and goes. Its like, like something bad is about to happen, I just don't know what it is."
"I don't like it. Its troubling to think that your wolf might be sensing something bad is about to happen. Alice, have you seen anything?" Daddy asked aunt Alice.
"No. I can't really see the wolves but the Volturi aren't making any plans to come and we're still continuing with our plans, except for Carlisle. Carlisle and Esme are going to check up on Seth in Stanford instead of going to the balloon festival."
"You don't have to do that. Maybe I'm just going crazy. Maybe its just college." Uncle Seth said quickly.
"Maybe you need to shut the hell up and let us take care of you. I'll ask for a few days off work but I have to get back by the stupid homecoming. They tricked me into chaperoning and organizing the damn thing this year." Leah told him. I could hear the annoyance in her voice. She definitely wasn't going to let him go home unsupervised.
"We can go stay with him once you return. That will give me enough time to set up my patients with my colleagues. I want to stay with you for a while so that I can observe what's happening. Maybe we can figure out what is triggering it by studying the patterns of the episodes." Grandpa told her.
"In that case, Jasper and I will go with you too. If its stress related, we'll be able to tell." Daddy told him. Uncle Jasper nodded. "
"I haven't been to California in a while." Uncle Jaz told him.
"No you can't do that. You'll miss Nessie's first dance and you all already had plans." Seth complained.
"Your health is important to us, Seth, and I can come back for the day to see Nessie."
"That's right!" I agreed with dad.
"Fine! Just don't tell my mom, ok? I don't want her freaking out too."
"Too late. They're already here." Aunt Alice told him.
Exactly 3 seconds later we heard the cruiser park in front of the old Cullen house. Uncle Seth groaned but it had nothing to do with pain.