*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much. = )
A couple weeks later we were in St. Louis, Missouri for the cookout Sam and Randy were hosting. To my surprise Randy did invite Dave to the cookout along with Triple H and his wife Stephanie. He also invited Nattie, Kelly Kelly, Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase Jr. I was really surprised when John and me arrived and saw Dave sitting out on a lawn chair but John on the other hand was not happy to see Dave at all. "You invited him?" he asked looking at him.
"Yeah.. I know but I worked with the guy in Evolution. I felt bad not inviting him."
"I don't' see Ric Flair here and you worked with him. Why Dave?"
"John, Baby, just relax," I said. "It's not that big of a deal. Let's just enjoy ourselves today. Okay."
"All right," he said. "I'll relax." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders as Sam came into the kitchen with her daughter Alanna.
"Hey, Tessa," she said with a smile as she hugged me.
"Hey," I said with the biggest smile I could. "It's been so long since I've seen you."
"About 4 months," she said with a smile. "Hey, John."
"Hey, Sam," he said hugging her.
"So Randy tells me you two are trying for a baby?" She couldn't have seemed happier. I wish I was happier about the decision but I wasn't.
"Yep," said John with the biggest smile. "Hopefully it happened in the last couple weeks. I am ready for a baby and ready for Tess to be pregnant," he said as he put his hand on my stomach.
I ignored it and said, "Yep we're trying for a baby!" I don't' know if they could hear the fakeness in my voice or if I hid it well enough for them not to notice how upset I was about it.
"You seem excited," said Sam.
I must have made it sound sincere. I was pretty good at hiding things obviously since Dave and me had been together for about 2 months now. I think I was getting better and better at lying and hiding things. I wasn't happy about it but it's the truth. I was a lot better at being deceitful. "I am," I said lying again. That was my only option. I didn't want to start a fight with John or anything. I made a promise so I had to stick to it. At least that's the way I saw it but now I realize I could have backed out at anytime.
"That's so awesome," said Sam. "I'm happy for you guys."
"Thanks," I said with a smile, "and look at Alanna! She's gotten so big."
"She's almost 3 years old. Time goes so fast. I'm ready for another one," she said.
"I'm not!" Said Randy. "I love Alanna but I am not ready for another one. We can wait a couple years."
"It's been 3," said Sam. "It's time."
"That's still too soon," said Randy. "When she's 5 we'll have another one."
"All right," said Sam. I could hear the disappointment in her voice. I could tell she really wanted another baby but Randy was about as stubborn as me, he was not going to give in. Maybe if Sam was as persistent with Randy as John was with me maybe he would give in but since I lived through it I would not wish that on anyone else. "So anyway, John and Tess, go ahead outside. Make yourselves at home. There are beers in the cooler and Randy is about to start grilling."
"Okay," I said taking John's hand and heading out the patio door. We walked over to two empty lawn chairs and took a seat.
"You want a beer?" he asked me.
"Sure," I said as I made eye contact with Dave. He smiled at me and I smiled back. We were strictly just friends that day at the cookout. That's the only way we could be. John walked over to grab himself and me a beer and then came back and sat down next to me. I opened my beer and could see Dave still looking at me.
"Is there a problem, Batista?" asked John.
"Nope. No problem here," he said as he took a swig of his own beer.
"Well, then can you stop looking at my fiancée'?" he asked.
"I thought she was your common law wife but really your girlfriend? Now she's your fiancée? Do you even know what she is to you?"
"I know what she is," said John. "I just forgot to do this," he said getting down on one knee.
"John, what are you doing?" I asked as he pulled something out of his pocket. I remember thinking he better not be proposing to me. We had discussed it many times that I had no interest in getting married but of course it would be just like John to make a scene in front of everyone.
"Something I've wanted to do for a long time," he said opening the box exposing a diamond ring. I felt the tears coming to my eyes and they were not tears of happiness. I heard Stephanie and Kelly Kelly gasp. "Tessa Lynn Montgomery, I met you when you were 5 years old. You were my best friend growing up, you have been my best friend in life, I love you more than anything in this world. You are everything to me. I can not live a day without you and every time I'm away from you all I ever do is think about you. We've been together for 16 years and I don't want to spend my life with anyone but you. Will you marry me?" I didn't even know what to say. I was angrier than anything. I was angry that he proposed. I sat silently as everyone looked on waiting for my answer including John and even Dave. I honestly didn't know what to say. I didn't want to look like a bitch and say no but I also didn't want to say yes to something I didn't want to do. "Tess?"
"Yeah?"
"Will you marry me?" John asked again. He was still down on one knee showing me the diamond ring. It was a beautiful diamond ring and was pretty much a rock but I still didn't want it.
Even though I didn't want to be engaged or married by any means I still said, "yes, John, I will marry you." It wasn't what I wanted to do but everyone was expecting me to say yes. I had to do what was expected. Not really but I didn't like to disappoint people obviously. John slipped the ring on my finger and then got up to hug me. He softly kissed my lips and as we shared a kiss I could still feel the anger inside of me and the disappointment I had in myself for giving in to something I didn't want yet again.
"Oh my god!" said Kelly Kelly. "This is so awesome."
"Wow," said Nattie. I looked at her when John broke the kiss and she was not happy at all. She had every right to be upset because she knew what I was doing. I was sure I was in for a lecture the next time we got a chance to talk privately. I directed my eyes in Dave's direction to see that he had already stormed off into the house.
"I will be right back," I said walking toward the house. I walked inside to find Dave. I wanted to make sure he was okay and I wanted someone to talk to. I walked into the living room to see him sitting on the couch. "Dave?"
He had his head down and I heard him sniffle. He finally looked up wiping his eyes. I could tell he had been crying. "What, Tessa?" he asked with a tone he had never spoken to me in before. It was a tone mixed with sadness and anger. "What could you possibly have to say to me?"
"Dave, I'm sorry," I said. "John put me on the spot. I couldn't say no."
"Of course you couldn't because you can never do what you want to do. You always care about what people think of you and not what you think of yourself. Would it have been so bad to say no? Do you even want to get married?"
"No. I don't' want to get married. And I don't even want to be with John anymore but it's complicated."
"You always say it's complicated but it wouldn't be so complicated if you would do what you want to do. If you want to break up with John break up with him. You'll be surprised how much simpler your life will be. And then we wouldn't have to sneak around anymore and if you go through with this marriage with John, you and me will be over. I will not sleep with a married woman."
"Dave, it's not that easy. A lot of people are going to be upset."
"So what? Why does it matter if they're upset. Are you happy with this engagement?"
"No," I said. I honestly wasn't happy with it and that was the last thing I wanted. "I don't, Dave. I really don't and I'm sorry. I really don't know why I always have to do what people want."
"Because, Tessa, you're a people pleaser. You like to do what they want you to do. It's understandable but I don't think you should live your life like that. And when you're with John you are a completely different person. Very different from the person you are when you're with me."
"That's because when I'm with you I'm the person I want to be," I said. "I don't know what to do. Should I just tell John I don't want to be engaged and give him back the ring?"
"That would be the first step in the right direction," said Dave, "and while those people may get upset with you it doesn't matter because you're doing this for you. Not for them. Let them be upset and let yourself be happy. I won't be upset with you because I know you're doing the right thing."
"All right," I said. "I'm just going to go out there and give John his ring back. I can't do this. I don't want to do this."
"Go ahead," he said with a smile, "now this is the Tess that I like."
I got up from the couch and headed outside to the backyard. John, Triple H, Cody, Ted and Randy were all huddled in a circle drinking a beer and talking. The women were in a little group themselves talking. When I walked past them they asked to see my ring so I stopped to show it to them before walking over to John. I walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. "John, can I talk to you?"
"Sure," he said.
"Alone?"
"There's nothing you can't say to me that you can't say in front of my boys."
"John, I really think you and me should talk privately." I really didn't want to give him the ring back and do all that in front of his friends. I felt we should do it privately.
"Tess, just tell me now," he said sounding agitated.
"I'm sorry. Am I agitating you?" I asked. John had a habit of turning into a jerk when he was around his friends. "I really think we should talk privately."
"Tessa, come on. Just say what you have to," he said.
"All right fine," I said taking off the ring. "I don't want to get married and I don't want to be engaged. I only said yes because I didn't want to disappoint anyone. I do love you, John, but I just don't want to be married. We've gone through this many times. I like it the way it is. I have no intention of ever marrying you, John. I can't do this and I'd rather tell you now then on our wedding day. I don't' want to marry you."
"Tess.." he said. I could tell he was upset and speechless but then he began to speak. "I love you and I want to make you my wife. You have no idea how much I love you. I thought if I got you a ring and everything that you would marry me but I guess I was wrong."
"John, I know you want to make me your wife and I know how much you love me but I just don't want to get married. Nothing is going to change my mind. I love you but I can't marry you. Can we just keep things the way they are for now?"
"I guess," he said. "Whatever you want, Tess. Whatever you want. Excuse me," he said as he put the ring back in his pocket and walked away. I knew he was about to go cry somewhere private. That's what got me the most. John wanted me to tell him what I had to say in public but when it came to him crying he wasted no time running off to a private place so he could cry. I felt bad that I upset him but I was happy with myself because I finally did something that I wanted to do. I looked over to see Dave standing by the patio door smiling. Randy and Triple H walked away from me and when I went to sit down with the girls they seemed distant. That was the reaction I was scared of but Dave was right it wasn't about them. It was about me being happy and if I went through with the engagement I wouldn't have been happy.
The rest of the picnic was full of tension. No one really knew what to say about what happened. John wouldn't even look at me so I knew where I was going to be that night and I didn't even care anymore. Dave was where I wanted to be leaving John was the hard part. I couldn't even get Randy to look at me which is understandable since he was John's best friend. Maybe they had some type of guy code, I don't know but it was what it was. Our meal was eaten in silence except for when Dave and me reached for the ketchup at the same time and our hands touched. We made eye contact and apologized to each other. I saw Sam give me a strange look and then went back to eating. I felt bad for ruining their cookout but in all honesty it was John that ruined it. If he hadn't proposed to me after I told him I didn't want to get married then none of that would have happened and we all would have been able to enjoy the picnic instead of just sitting there in silence and when we did talk we wouldn't be walking on eggshells.
When the picnic was over I was helping Sam clean up when she began talking to me. "So, Tessa, Randy was telling me some things."
"What kind of things?" I asked.
"He just told me that John was having suspicions about you and Dave. He told Randy that he thinks you're sleeping with Dave. Randy doesn't' believe it and neither do I but you two seemed pretty friendly today."
"Dave is just a friend, Sam. He's nothing more than that. I already went through this with John. Are girls and guys not allowed to be friends?"
"I'm not saying that," she said. "I was just wondering what was up with you two. Is there anything going on?"
"No," I said defensively. I guess that could have been a sign of guiltiness. "I'm sorry. It's just been an exhausting day. Dave and me are just friends. That's all there is to it." I was not about to admit anything to Sam either. Even though she was a good friend I didn't think I could trust her with that information. She could easily tell Randy and Randy could easily tell John and then everything would blow up earlier than I planned. I was going to tell John I wanted to leave him but I was getting the courage to do it and I was figuring out how I was going to do it. It wasn't as easy as Dave made it out to be but I knew at some point John and me would be over after 16 years.
"Oh. No, it's okay. I understand," said Sam. "I shouldn't have asked. That's not something you would do, Tessa. You're a good person. Good people don't cheat on their boyfriends." If only she could know how wrong she was because I had in fact cheated on John and I was a good person. I knew that when the truth came out that a lot of people would be shocked but in the end I knew I would be happy.
*A/N: So what did you think? Please review and thank-you for reading.