I had full intentions of posting this chapter last week, but then "everything" had to happen at once. First, we had issues with our PC and connecting to the internet and then while we were getting sorted what to do about that, we had a family medical emergency in which we had to go away for a few days. But everything is in working order again. ;-D

Also, this was going to be a longer chapter, but I thought it was getting to be too long, so I decided to end it where I did. The good news is that I am already almost done the next chapter so you shouldn't have to wait very long at all for the next one! -D

Chapter 31:

Jane:

There is something wrong...I know there is. I know that giving birth is supposed to be painful but this is beyond painful...this...this is excruciating! This is death. And this is how I know that something is wrong. It can't be this painful!

I must be sweating because I am vaguely aware of my sister gently patting my face with a cool, damp cloth from time to time. My body is shaking. And as much as I try, I cannot stifle my cries of anguish. Cries that I am sure become screams.

"Take my hands into yours Jane!" I barely hear Cassandra tell me. "Hold onto them and squeeze them as much as you can, whenever you feel the pain!"

I am not sure that I actually do what Cassandra tells me to do, but I know I try to. Finally, I am ready to give up. I can no longer do this. It is too much for me and I am too tired. I just want to go to sleep. But there is one thing that I want...one last thing.

"Cassandra!" I rasp out in a hoarse voice. "Cass...listen to me...I know...I know that I am dying..."

I see her brow pucker into a frown and shake her head at me. "No...no Jane, you are not dying dearest..."

"You needn't try and keep this from me, Cass!" I breathe heavily just as another wave of pain racks my body. When it comes down enough I continue. "I don't know how much time I have Cass..." I'm borne away on pain once more...then continue once again. "But I need for you to do me a favour! I need to see Tom!" Followed by more pain along with tears this time. "Please! You must get Tom and bring him to me!" I have to pause once more as the pain continues to rip through my body. "Please Cass! I want to be able to say goodbye to him.." I barely manage to get the last words out. The next wave seems to last longer and I feel like I am on the verge of fainting or perhaps something much worse, but I am determined to keep myself alive until I see Tom. "Please...Cassandra...for me..." I whisper in a shaky voice.

I see her turn to towards the doctor whom, even though my sight is a bit out of focus, I see nod his head at her, only once. And then she is gone...

Mrs. Humphries quickly takes her place and pats my face with the damp, cool cloth and takes my hands into hers. But she also did something different. Every time I feel the pain, she places something...I'm not sure what..it was made of some sort of material I thought, and tells me "Bite down on this whenever you feel the pain and push while doing so!" Then she went on. "Now what is this nonsense about you dying?" She says in what I thought was a rather brusque manner. "You are doing no such thing except having a baby."

But I knew better although I had not the energy to argue with her.

It was at that moment that I had a thought that was so crystal clear that I understood. Of course Mrs. Humphries was going to tell me that. They need me to stay alive so that I could deliver this child. In this moment I recall telling Tom that I did not want to leave him with a newborn baby. But now my maternal instincts kick in and even though I would not be around, I would fight for this child of Tom's to live. He loves this child after all. And he or she would have a loving home with a loving father and be surrounded by loving siblings. Tom would have the help of his sisters. And mine. As I am certain that Cassandra would not leave...at least not so soon...

Now that my mind was made up, I was determined that this baby should live, even if I would not be able to watch it grow up. The thought saddened me, but Tom also loves this child and the thought of this Lefroy child being welcomed and brought up in the Thomas Lefroy household cheered me to the point of me being determined enough to bring it into this world as it will be the last thing I will be able to do for it...

Tom:

"What is that?" Jane suddenly said, breaking away from me, her brow puckering slightly.

"What is what?" I asked, puzzled.

She cocked her head slightly. Then, "That! Don't you hear it?"

More alert now, I listened as well. Then I heard it...was it? Could it be? I fairly ran from my office and towards the staircase with Jane following closely behind and calling after me.

"Father! What is it?"

I didn't answer her straight away as I wanted to be sure for myself. But by the time I reached the staircase, I was no longer in doubt. With a smile of genuine relief on my face I said. "It is Mistress Jane giving birth!"

Jane looked confused and said, "But she sounds like she is in a lot of pain..."

"Yes...she would be love. I did tell you that there is a lot of pain with childbirth."

"But how can you be so happy about it father? It sounds like it must be dreadful!"

"I know it does, yes. I know that this will sound odd Jane, but hearing Mistress Jane in pain is a better sign than the silence we heard for the better part of the day. It means that the baby should be born soon and then the pain will end for Mistress Jane." It also means that Jane is alive, I told myself, but dared not speak these words aloud to Jane.

I noticed that Jane still did not look entirely convinced so I told her gently, "This is perfectly normal dearest. More normal than the earlier silence. It was the same with your own mother Jane, with each of you children. And the first child is usually the hardest and takes the longest. But it should be ending soon now."

"I do believe you, father, I just don't like hearing her."

"Which is why children are always sent away when a baby is being born. So they aren't frightened by the sounds of the pain of birth coming from their mother. "

Jane nodded her understanding at this so I continued. "I don't like it either, but knowing the circumstances and that this is perfectly normal...and having been through it with your mother several times, I have come to expect it. Besides...it would be worse for me to be away from the house during this time, than hearing her anguished cries as strange as I am sure you must find this to be."

"Of course. I do understand you wanting to be near."

I embraced my daughter and as I was much relieved, I decided to ask if she wished to engage in a game of cards with myself and her aunts. Surprised by this request, her eyes brightened and she readily agreed.

My sisters agreed, also happy of the distraction and we four gathered in one of the drawing rooms where cards were always played. There was some debate as to which game we would play while I was looking for the cards, but once I had found them and shuffled them, the matter had been decided.

We played a couple of rounds of one game and were about half way through another round of a different game when Cassandra flew into the room looking weary but anxious. Immediately, I stood up.

"The baby has been born!" I exclaimed, happy, delighted and relieved all at once.

But my hopes were instantly dashed when she slowly shook her head. "No, but Jane calls for you Tom. She wishes you to be with her."

This stunned me as I had not expected such a thing. I frowned, momentarily unable to register this in my brain.

Cassandra now came over to me and the next words she spoke made my heart turn to lead and drop down into the very pit of my stomach.

Speaking in a very low voice as I was the only one who was meant to hear these words, she said, "Jane believes that she is dying, Tom..."

I looked at her in shock. Unable to form the question I wanted to ask, Cassandra went on, "The doctor told me that you should come."

Swallowing hard, I mechanically started following Cassandra.

"What is it? What has happened to Mistress Jane?" It was Jane who had cried out.

We both stopped and turned towards the other three, my sisters also looking askance.

Cassandra and myself looked at one another before Cassandra replied, "Mistress Jane is frightened, dearest. She has never given birth before and is somewhat afraid of what is happening to her. She has asked for your father to be with her and the doctor has agreed."

Jane nodded but said nothing, as did my sisters. We left the room then and reaching the stairs I ascended two at a time and then ran down the hall towards our room where Jane was and entered without knocking, knowing full well that would not be expected of me in this situation.

At once I saw one reason why men who weren't doctors weren't permitted to be in the same room with a woman giving birth, just by noticing the position of Jane on the birthing bed. It was hardly a position that a woman would wish to be seen in by a man...except perhaps if he were a doctor. I quickly averted my look to Jane's face and raced towards her, not taking my eyes off of it.

"Jane! Jane dearest, I'm here!" I sat down on the bed and cupped her damp face with my hands.

Through what I took to be tears which was mixed with perspiration on her face, she opened her eyes and smiled faintly up at me. "Tom..." she said barely audible. "You came..."

"Of course I did, my love."

"Tom...you may as well know that I am dying, but I promise that I will live long enough for this child to be born...but understand that I have begun to get so tired...so very tired..."

"No Jane, no. You are NOT dying. You hear me? I promised that I would get you through this and I won't go back on my promise! I won't let you!"

"But I'm so tired Tom...and it hurts...too much! There is something wrong, I know there is! I can't do this anymore...it's too much for me..." She had been weeping quietly when she started talking but was fading by the end of her sentence.

"Jane? Jane! Stay with me!" I begged her, my own tears starting to form.

Just then she had a moment of the pain that we had been hearing from her for awhile.

"I can't do this anymore Tom!" She repeated, crying in her anguish.

"Yes, you can Jane! You can! I know you can!" I looked at the doctor who nodded his approval of my encouraging her which gave me an idea which I hoped would help Jane. Turning back to Jane, I said. "Listen to me Jane. ...do you love me?"

"Of course I do..."

"And I love you, very much. And I believe in you and me. I believe in us. Do you believe in us, Jane? If you do, then say it. Say the words. Say it with me, I believe in us, I believe in us!"

I could see that she was trying...or trying to say something. I continued. "Say it Jane! You can do it! I know you can! Say it with me! I believe in us!"

I kept repeating this while she went through another painful session. "I...believe..." it came out in a whisper at first but by the time the pain had intensified, she had become louder. "I believe...I believe...I BELIEVE! IN US!"

"Yes Jane! That's it! You can do this too! I know you can!"

It was just at this moment when I noticed that the doctor had come over to where I was and motioned that he needed to speak with me. Once again, my heart turned to lead as all of the worst thoughts entered my mind. I allowed Mrs. Humphries to take over for me for the moment.

"Something is wrong..." I stated with fear in my heart. Dr. Knight nodded. "It's Jane..." I added barely able to say it. Jane had been right...

"It's the baby. Mrs. Lefroy has been in labour for too long and I fear that the baby will not be able to survive much longer. Mrs. Lefroy is exhausted and much too weak to be able to push the baby out naturally."

It was not Jane but the baby...although I was relieved about Jane, I of course felt sad about the baby.

"However, I might be able to help get the baby out, but I will need to make a little bit of an incision.

"Cut?" I asked not really liking the sounds of it. "You need to cut Jane?"

Dr. Knight nodded. "Just a little bit. Just enough. She will also need to be stitched up after she has cleaned. As soon as the baby is born, Mrs. Humphries can take care of the baby and I will immediately clean Mrs. Lefroy and stitch her. I will put her under so she doesn't feel anything. She won't need too much as she is already so exhausted. And she should start nursing as soon as she can anyway. But time is of the essence now. I must act now in order to get the baby out. The quicker and sooner, the better."

I nodded my head numbly, giving the doctor my approval.

"Tom!" I heard Jane cry out to me. "Where are you?"

I quickly went back to Jane and took her hands into my own. "I m here my love. I m right here. I promise."

"Don't leave me, Tom...promise you won't leave me..." Jane said as she began to go under.

"I'll be right here with you Jane when you wake up."

Even after Jane was put under, I stayed where I was, with Jane and continued to hold her hands, cup her face and caress her cheeks from time to time. In one sense, it seemed like a long time but in another sense it only seemed like minutes when I heard it. A small cry of a baby. I closed my eyes and rested them against Jane's hands which I was still holding and gave thanks to the Lord.