*Thank-you for all the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much. = )
I had finally fallen asleep around 4 in the morning only to be woken up at 7 by my mom knocking on my door. "What?" I asked sleepily.
She slowly entered the room and said, "Tess, John is down stairs he wants to talk to you."
"You woke me up to tell me that John wants to talk to me? Tell him I'll call him later," I said. I didn't want to talk to John. I had nothing to say to him. I was tired of him treating me the way he was.
"Tess, I think you should go talk to him. Come on. Get up and go talk to John. Work this out. I hate to see you two like this. Come on, Tess," she said.
I knew she wasn't going to give up so I gave in and threw my covers off of me and got out of bed. "Fine," I said walking past her and heading downstairs.
When I reached the bottom of the stairs I turned into the living room to see John standing by the mantle. He was looking at the pictures of me from when I was younger like he had done many times in the past. He put my senior picture down on the mantle when he heard me walk into the room. "Hey, Tess," he said.
"Hey," I said sitting down on the couch as John joined me.
"How are you feeling?" he asked wrapping his arm around my shoulders.
"I'm good. What do you want, John?"
"I just wanted to apologize for last night. I should have listened to you and not said anything about the baby. I know it was wrong of me to tell our parents after you told me not to. I am just really excited. I'm going to be a dad, Tessa. A dad for the first time. I am really excited. You can't blame me for wanting to shout it from the roof tops. That's a baby you and me created together. I'm happy about this. Why can't you be just as happy as I am."
"I am happy. It's just.. It's just," I started to say. I wanted to tell him so badly about Dave being the baby's father but I couldn't do it. I began to choke on my words and I didn't want to cause a scene in my parents' living room. It wasn't the time but now that I think about it that was just an excuse. I don't know why it was so hard for me to tell him the truth but it was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do which is probably why I gave up trying. "It's just I'm not ready to tell people about it. All the books recommend that you wait till the 12th week before announcing a pregnancy. Miscarriages can occur anytime from the time of conception till the 12th week. It's just better to wait. I get that you're excited and so am I but it's just not the time to tell people. There's just so much that I want to say but I can't say."
"What can't you say, Tessa? I'm here and I'm listening. You can tell me anything."
"No, John, I can't. Look don't worry about it. I forgive you," I said.
"Tessa, come on tell me. What's wrong?" he asked as I started to cry. "Why are you crying? Did someone hurt you? Was it Dave?"
"No. No one hurt me and why does it always come back to Dave with you? Why do you have it out for him?"
"Because he's an ass, Tessa, and I swear to God if he did something to hurt you I will kick his teeth down his throat."
"Easy killer. He didn't do anything to hurt me. He's not the one that pushed me down on the ground or told me to take a hormone pill."
"Tessa, is that what this is all about? Me pushing you down? Telling you to take a hormone pill? Is that what this is all about?"
"No, John, it's much more than that but still you shouldn't have pushed me down and you shouldn't have made the comment about a hormone pill. I can't help my hormones. I am pregnant. There is a hormonal imbalance. Sometimes I'm going to be happy, sometimes I'm going to be sad and sometimes I'm going to be angry. I can't control that and I don't need you making comments like that. They are so disrespectful. And not to mention the pushing me down. Since when did you start to put your hands on me?"
"I didn't mean to push you down. I'm sorry. I just got caught in the heat of the moment. I am so sorry. And I'm sorry about the hormonal pill comment. I know you can't control the way you feel. I'm sorry, Tess. Don't be mad at me anymore. I love you."
"You were caught in the heat of the moment? Do you know how many people get caught in the heat of the moment and do so much worse? What if you get caught in the heat of the moment again and something more than a push happens? John, it was wrong you shouldn't have pushed me. I didn't deserve it."
"I know and I'm sorry. I really am. You have to believe me Tessa. I love you more than anything on this Earth. You are everything to me. You are my entire world and there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. I am sorry for the way I've been treating you lately. You don't deserve it. Please, Tess, forgive me."
"John," I said crying. I felt like shit listening to him tell me I was his entire world and how I meant everything to him. There was a time when he was my entire world and meant everything to me but things change and I wasn't sure if I could be with him any longer. I was cheating on him and having someone else's baby. I was feeling pretty low at that point. I didn't deserve that apology and I didn't deserve to mean everything to him and I didn't deserve to be his entire world. "I can't do this. Not right now."
"Tess, what is going on?" he asked.
"Nothing, John. Just go to Smackdown. I will talk to you later. I can't do this now."
"Do what? What is going on Tess?"
Right there would have been the perfect opportunity for me to tell John the truth but I couldn't. I just didn't have it in me. "Nothing, John. Look, I can't do this now. Please don't make me do this."
"Do you love me, Tessa?" he asked.
He had never had to question my love before but I did love him. I really did maybe not as much as I did at one time but I still loved him. "Yes, I love you," I said with tears streaming down my face.
"Then what's wrong? Please, Tessa, just tell me what's happening between us."
"Nothing," I said. "I can't do this," I said as I got up and went back to my room. As soon as I was in my room I began to cry. I was crying uncontrollably when my mom came in to tell me that John left to go to Hartford for Smackdown.
"What's wrong, Tessa? Why are you crying."
"You wouldn't understand," I said. "And I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay, well how about I make you feel better and take you out to do some baby shopping."
"Mom, I'm only 9 weeks pregnant. Doesn't that sort of jinx it?" I asked.
"No because you can get bottles and stuff like that. It's not that bad," she said.
"So you would take me baby shopping?" I asked.
"If that's what you want to do? I will do anything you want to do. I just want to make you feel better."
"Okay," I said with a smile. "I want to do lunch but I want to invite a friend. Is that okay?"
"What friend?" she asked.
"Dave," I answered.
"Why would you want to invite Dave?" she asked.
"Because he's my friend and he wants to meet you. So can we do lunch with you, me and Dave?"
"I don't know about that, Tessa," she said. "That seems a little strange to me."
"Fine. Never mind. I'll have my own lunch with Dave. Don't worry about it. And if you want to make me feel better don't bother coming."
"Tessa, what has gotten into you? You are acting so weird. Is there something going on with you and Dave?" she asked me looking at me.
I could lie to my mom but I wasn't good at it. She could always tell when I was lying. I guess that's just a gift parents had about their kids. I wondered if I would have the same gift when it came to my child. "No," I said lying.
And like I suspected I couldn't lie to her because she saw right past my faulty no and said, "There is isn't there?" I didn't answer this time but my look alone said it all. I must have had guilty written all over my face. "Look, Tessa, I don't know what's going on between you and Dave but you need to stop it now. You have a boyfriend. A boyfriend you've been with for 16 years. You don't let the first guy come along and sleep with him. That's wrong and you know it, Tessa. That is not you. You end it now with Dave. Do you understand me?" I still didn't say anything so she said, "I'm telling you Tessa, this isn't a game. End whatever it is you have going on with Dave now. You have a man on his way to Hartford that loves and cares about you. You mean everything to him and he doesn't deserve what you're doing to him. End it now with Dave," she said.
"I know," I said. "But.."
"But nothing, Tessa, you end it and you end it now," she said handing me my phone. "Call him and tell him it's over."
"Are you going to tell John?" I asked as I took my phone.
"No. That's not my place to say anything. I hope you have the decency to tell him the truth about cheating on him with Dave. And hopefully nothing has been too tainted," she said. Too late for that.
"Mom, can you leave so I can talk to Dave?"
"Yes, but do it and do it now. Got it?"
"Yes, Mom," I said rolling my eyes as she walked out of my room. I picked up my phone and instead of calling Dave I sent him a text telling him to meet me outside of West Newbury at a little diner. He responded with an okay and then I began to get myself ready. I left my parents' house without even saying goodbye and I doubted they even knew I left.
It only took me about 30 minutes to reach the diner and Dave was already there waiting for me by his car. "Hey," I said as I walked up to him.
"Hey, Beautiful," he said as he gave me a kiss. "Are you hungry?" he asked taking my hand.
"Yeah," I said walking inside with him. "I'm starving." We found an empty table and took a seat. We each order an orange juice and then began to talk. "Sorry about last night."
"Tessa, why don't you just tell John the truth? It would be so much easier."
"I know," I said. "I tried to tell him the truth this morning but I couldn't do it. I was too scared. Dave, do you know what's going to happen when it all comes out? I could lose my job. I need my health insurance right now because of the baby. With no job I can't pay doctor's expenses out of pocket. They add up."
"Tessa, I will take care of that. I have the money to pay medical expenses. I can put you on my insurance even if we aren't married. Remember I purchase my own insurance. I'll pay a little extra for coverage for you and for our baby. It's not a big deal. So what you lose your job? You're talented enough to find another one. It's not that big of a deal. The truth needs to come out and it needs to come out soon, Tess."
"I know, Dave but what if I don't find another job. I want to work."
"I know but to me having a job isn't important. That baby knowing its true dad is the number one thing I'm worried about and John needs to know it's not him. It's not fair to him or me, Tessa. It's not fair that you're lying to him and allowing him to think that's his baby. It's only going to be worse when you do tell him the longer you let it go on. And it's not fair to me that I don't get to enjoy this pregnancy with you. I want to go to doctor's appointments, I want to go to ultrasounds, I want to be there. I want to see the birth of MY baby. I want to be there but with you lying to John about it I can't be. I've already missed one appointment and that's not fair to me. It's not fair to the baby either. It's not fair that you're not allowing it to know its real father. I know it's complicated but you have to do the right thing and tell John the truth. It's not going to be pretty at first but it will get better. I promise."
"Dave, I tried. I can't do it. I was so scared this morning. I started to choke on my words. I couldn't get it out."
"You need to, Tessa."
"Oh and my mom knows I'm cheating on John with you," I said. I figured I would throw that out there to get the heat off of me not telling John the truth and of course it completely changed the subject.
I smiled inside when Dave said, "you told your mom?"
"No. She guessed and I can't lie to her, Dave. She knows when I'm lying. It's like a gift. I don't know."
"What did she say?" he asked as the waitress brought our orange juice and then we placed our orders for pancakes.
"She told me to end it with you," I said.
"Are you going to end it with me?" he asked.
"If I was would I be here with you right now?" I asked.
"Probably not but you're so scared to tell someone the truth I don't know," he said. I guess I deserved that.
"Dave, believe me I don't want to end this. I know I'm not the most honest person but you have to believe me."
"Okay," he said, "so why is it so hard for you to tell John the truth?"
"I don't know," I said. "I really don't know. I think it's because he's so excited and happy. I don't want to destroy his happiness."
"I'm happy and I'm excited too. It's my baby. Don't' you think I deserve to be there?" he asked.
"Yeah. You deserve to be there," I said.
"Thank-you," he said. "Look, Tessa, I don't want to be like this but I'm giving you an ultimatum. Either you tell John the truth or I'm going to tell him the truth. If you don't tell him by the 12 week mark I'm going to do it."
"Dave, don't," I said. "Please."
"No, Tessa. He needs to know. And if you won't tell him I will. I'm not joking about that Tessa. I can be an asshole when I want to be. Don't make me be an asshole."
"Dave, I will tell him I promise."
"All right but if you don't I will. And I don't go back on my word," he said. There was just something about Dave that told me he was serious. I knew he wasn't joking around. He would tell John the truth if I didn't and I knew that it wouldn't be good if it came to that so I planned on telling John the truth in the next couple days. I know I've said this plenty of times but I mean it this time. I am going to tell John the truth is what I told myself but that was only if the fear didn't get in the way like it had the many times before when I tried to tell John. I didn't have a choice. He was going to find out either way whether it was me or whether it was Dave. I voted he heard it from me but only time would tell. Once Dave and me got past that little issue with the baby we ate our breakfast and then spent the rest of the day and the night together.
*A/N: So what did you think? Please review and thank-you for reading.