Chapter 32

Tom:

"It's a girl, Mr. Lefroy! And with a good set of lungs on her already!" Mrs. Humphries announced gaily.

Little Cassie, I thought to myself. I thought it rather interesting how at the moment of hearing that the baby was a girl, that my mind drifted back to when Anthony was first born and I had hoped for a girl...and then when Jane was born how ecstatic I was to finally have my daughter...and now...here I was 19 years later, in the same room with Jane while she gave birth to our daughter. It didn't matter to me whether we had a boy or a girl. I already had four boys. And now, I had four girls. I was thrilled no matter what.

"And Jane? How is she?" I now ventured to look towards the Dr. Knight who was still working on Jane while I asked my question.

"I think she should be alright, Mr. Lefroy. I am being very meticulous and careful, making sure that I do not miss a thing."

My relief was immense. "I would like to go and inform my family of the blessed news. And I would like to bring my children back home as well. I promised that I would be here for Jane when she awoke. Do you think I have time to get them?"

"How long will it take you?" Dr. Knight asked me.

"I can make it in less than an hour. I will be as quick as I possibly can."

"Then you have time. By all means, do go." The doctor smiled at me.

Before I stood up, I kissed Jane on the forehead and whispered my promise of being there when she awoke.

"Do you wish to have a look at your daughter before you leave Mr. Lefroy?" Mrs. Humphries asked me. She had cleaned the baby and had just finished swaddling her in some blankets.

"Of course.." I replied gently. I walked over to where she stood with the baby. "Oh!" Was my initial reaction when I looked at her for to me, she looked just like Jane. "She's beautiful..." I whispered.

"Isn't she though?" Mrs. Humphries gushed.

"She really is lovely Tom.." Cassandra added happily, also looking quite relieved that the whole ordeal was over with.

"I must tell my family." I now said with a smile on my face. "I will return as soon as I can."

And with that I left the room, ran down the stairs and sought out Jane and my sisters who were all sitting in one of the drawing rooms.

"It's a girl!" I practically burst with pride. "And she looks just like Mistress Jane!" I couldn't help but add.

The three had stood up as I entered the room. "And what about Mistress Jane?" My daughter asked cautiously.

"The doctor says that she should be fine. She was exhausted and he needed to do a little minor surgery on her to help get the baby out, but they are both doing fine."

Suddenly with this announcement, I felt overwhelmed with everything myself as I had gone through a lot of emotions throughout the course of the day and I found that I could not hold back my own tears. My hands went to my face as Jane came over to me and embraced me and I noticed, wept with me. But they were tears of happiness on both of our parts. Then both Phoebe and Sarah came over and joined us as well.

After several minutes, I got myself together and explained that I was going to collect the children and bring them home and Jane offered to go with me.

As I had promised Jane that I would be there when she awoke, we only stopped long enough at Anthony s to give the news and pick up the children, then we were on our way back home again.

"Can we see the baby when we get home, Father?" Anne asked eagerly along the way.

"Not tonight, love. It is late and Mistress Jane is exhausted with giving birth. I promise that you will see her tomorrow for a few minutes. But once we are home, you are to go VERY quietly up to your rooms and make yourselves ready for bed."

"Alright, Father." Anne replied a bit deflated by my answer.

Back at home, I left my children in the care of their aunts and hurried back upstairs to find that Jane had been moved onto our bed and the birthing bed already dismantled. I also saw that Dr. Knight had finished his work with Jane and Jane herself was still asleep. Both Mrs. Humphries and Cassandra were still in the room, attending the baby.

"I believe that it went well." Dr. Knight came over and told me as soon as he saw me. "I did everything exactly how I wanted to and there weren t any complications. However, if you have a spare settee, I will remain here over night and keep checking on Mrs. Lefroy to make sure that she does not catch infection from the surgery. And I will come on a daily basis and keep checking on her until I am satisfied with her healing process."

"We have a plenty of room, you needn t use a settee. And your undivided attention towards Jane is more than greatly appreciated." I assured him, shaking his hand, feeling more and more relieved with each of his words.

I showed him to one of the spare rooms and then returned to my own bedroom. As Mrs. Humphries and Cassandra were still in there, I sat down in one of the chairs and collected my thoughts. Now that it was over with, I couldn't help but think about being in the same room with Jane while she was giving birth. Even though it had been rather worrisome to have to see Jane go through all she did, I would not have missed being in there for the birth of our daughter for anything. I almost wished that I had been in with Mary for all of my children. All of this made me wonder if there would ever come a time when fathers would be allowed in the room with their wives while they were giving birth. Then I smiled to myself. Probably not. At least it most likely would not be something that would happen for quite a some time. Maybe in the future one day. I thought I was very lucky indeed to have been a part of it.

Jane:

I awoke feeling rather groggy and...quite sore, I realized. The soreness confirmed one thing...I hadn't died after all. And then my eyes settled on the one sight I had hoped to see. A most beautiful sight...Tom holding an infant. Our baby, my mind acknowledged.

"Hello, dear little one." I heard Tom speaking in a gentle tone to the baby, which warmed my heart and made me smile. "Welcome to the Lefroy family."

I must have made some sort of noise for Tom looked over at me, smiled and then came over.

"Meet your daughter Jane...our daughter." He said softly and then sitting on the bed he held her out so that I could see her.

Just looking at her filled my heart to the brim. "She's beautiful..." I whispered.

"She is...and I think she looks just like her mother." Tom smiled, so happy and proud.

"Oh you must be mistaken surely, then." I managed to smile still feeling weak.

"I am sure that I am not." Tom smiled back. Then looking at our little Cassie, continued, still smiling "May you be as strong, spirited, independent and stubborn as your mother. Every reason I fell in love with her. For only a man who admires you for these qualities will be worthy of you." Then he kissed her forehead.

Not to be outdone , I added, "And may you be as sweet, gentle, compassionate, loving and understanding as your father." With this, Tom leaned towards me and kissed my forehead.

"Now that our new mother is awake, it would be a good time to get this little babe taken care of by her mother." Mrs. Humphries now said.

"Then I should go and let you do so, but I will be back in a little while." Tom said, then with a last smile and kiss, he gave the baby up to Cassandra while Mrs. Humphries sat me up. I moaned with the pain of after birth and realized something in that moment. I may have despised the idea of having to be confined after giving birth, but considering how sore I felt, I knew now that I wouldn t want to be going anywhere too soon after all. Of course I do hope that my body will recover quickly so that I can get back to doing all that I love doing and being active again, but until then, I feel quite content to be expected to stay put.

Later on, after Tom was ready for bed, he leaned over the infant cradle that the other Lefroy children had had when they were born, that sat on the floor on my side of the bed and gently stroked little Cassie s sleeping head. Without warning, the tears started to fall down my face. When Tom noticed, he asked me with a face full of concern if I was alright.

"I couldn t help thinking of my mother." I admitted.

"You wish she was here?"

"No! Not that...it s just that...as soon as we were weaned, our mother sent each of us away until we reached what she called, a civilized age. Civilized! We were children!"

I noticed Tom frowning slightly in puzzlement when I said this. I continued. "As I was the second youngest, I would only know about this happening with my youngest brother Charles, but being young myself, I didn t question it of course, believing it to be quite normal. However, in later years, Cassandra and I talked more about it. And now, looking at little Cassie...I just cannot understand my mother doing this to us when we were so young! How could she so easily give us up for 2 or 3 years? I did not go back home until my brother Charles was born and he was born four years after myself! Did she not love us? I could never do that to Cassie!" I now wept more and Tom embraced me, letting me cry it out.

"Oh my love...I m sure that your mother did love you. You did say that she had married beneath her, so she came from a wealthier family where perhaps in her own family situation, they had hired help for herself and her own siblings. But in your own family situation, she knew that she couldn t afford to hire help so instead, sent you away for a little while."

"You are always so good about defending my mother Tom. But even if I were in that situation, I would not, could not send my children away from home like that! And for a few years too! It is not right!" I continued to berate my mother and her method of early child-rearing.

"I understand my dear, and I do agree with you. I could never have sent any of our children away for a few years either if we had not had money to hire someone to look after them either. That never would have been Mary s and my way. And it is not the way everyone does things, but perhaps it was right for your mother. After all, you all turned out to be a fine family."

"I suppose. But I have to admit that I have wondered if that was the reason why my mother and myself always seem to be at war with one another. Because perhaps I had always felt like she had abandoned me...or us and I resented her for that."

Tom shook his head. "Or maybe you are just too different from each other. OR...too much alike in some ways even. I do not know myself Jane, but you are each the way you are, your relationship is the way it is, for whatever the reasons are."

"I am not my mother. I won t abandon my daughter. And I never would." I said with feeling.

"I know you won t and I know you wouldn't." Tom assured me with a smile. "Now, perhaps we should get us some sleep before our newest little member decides it is time to wake us up and have something to eat."

I smiled back at Tom and let him help to settle me back down in our bed. I knew then, that everything would be alright.

Dr. Knight came to examine me on a daily basis for awhile to make sure that I was not catching an infection from his minor surgery. At one point, he removed the stitching when he saw that I was healed enough.

Even though it was only about a month after little Cassie was born, I was starting to get my usual restless feeling. I was not as sore as I had been, so I also knew that I was healing. One morning, when I could hardly stand it anymore, I cautiously swung my legs out of bed and stood up. Still cautiously, I moved my legs and started walking about the room. It felt so good to be up and about! I was hardly even sore anymore, I was delighted to know.

I knew that Tom would feel that it was too soon for me to be up and about already so I kept this my secret and would only get up and walk about the room at certain times and of course when no one was around. But eventually, even this started becoming boring for me.

One day I got up and walked over to the window. It was such a beautiful day out that I couldn't bear to be away from the window so I stayed there longer than I had meant to.

"JANE!" Tom s voice came out of nowhere, causing me to jump out of my skin. "What are you doing out of bed?"

"Oh Tom! I m fine! It is just that I am so restless! I can hardly stand to be in bed anymore! And in all honesty, I feel better getting up and walking around. I really do."

"Jane...I just want you to be careful! You are still recovering and I don t want anything to happen to you."

"Tom...I just told you that I actually feel better walking around. Really, I do. Please...at least let me walk around the room a bit. I promise you I won t leave it just yet. It s just that I am so restless. I need to do something."

"How about your writing? I will bring your paper, pen and ink in here if you wish."

Well, that was something anyway so I agreed. "And tell Cassandra to come here too, please. I will want her to help me as she always does."

Tom smiled and this time I caught that twinkle in his eyes as he nodded his head, then left the room to do this for me. I sighed, but had to resign myself to keeping confined for a bit longer. At least Tom had agreed to let me walk about the room and it was a good idea of his to bring my writing supplies to the room. That along with books that I had been reading would all help to pass the time. No matter how careful Tom thought I should still be, I knew that I was going to be fine. Everything was going to be fine from now on.

Epilogue:

I enter my writing room for the first time one morning since giving birth to Cassie to find it to be gloriously sun filled.

While waiting for Cassandra to join me, I set Tom s and my daughter who is sleeping in her carry-cot on the floor beside my writing desk. Sometimes I still can t believe that I survived that one thing that I had dreaded so much and because of it, Tom and myself are still here together.

I smile as I look out of the window at the sunny, green hills and sparkling water of the River Shannon. The sun meant an afternoon pic-nic out on our property, one of the traditions that Tom and Mary had started up and one that Tom and myself had agreed that we would keep up as long as the children were around...that along with the nightly reading. Tom had finally allowed me to start going downstairs every day for a little while now and today, I was finally going to be able to be outside with the family this afternoon, although for a little while longer, I would have to be content with sitting and taking care of Cassie while I watched even though my body was feeling fully recovered from giving birth. But after all Tom (and myself!) had been through with the birthing, I felt I could obey him for a little while yet. But soon...soon, my sister Cassandra would be minding her little name-sake while I participated with the family, until little Cassie needed me. My sister had already agreed with this.

Right now, I sigh with contentment as I remember Tom saying the night he proposed to me that I belong here...I do. I belong here with Tom and his family. I belong here with all of them.

And now with our Cassie, the family...OUR family! Our family was complete. I was home. And I was happy. And I know that Tom is happy as well for he tells me everyday in his own special way.

THE END

(OR perhaps it's just the beginning of more Lefroy Family adventures...;-D)