Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all Twilight Saga and characters.

Renesmee

The mood in the house was solemn but hardly the gloom and doom it held when we first arrived with Leah. Jake and I walked in and we headed straight for Leah's room. Her belly was round and she had dark circles under her eyes but other than that she looked ok. She smiled weakly at us when we walked in and patted the spot on the bed that was next to hers. Grandma Sue, excused herself to give us privacy. I sat next to Leah and Jake took grandma Sue's chair and scooted it beside me.

"Hi Lee. Sorry we couldn't come earlier but needless to say we couldn't have Duli anywhere near you."

"Relax Jake, I'm fine. How is the little, twerp."

"He's good." I said quickly. I didn't want Leah to have to worry about Duilio too. "How are you feeling?"

"It got a bit scary yesterday but the doc took care of it. I think the Denali are coming though. Hulien and Nahuel want to come over to be here for us and the baby." She told me hesitantly. I could tell the question hidden within her words. She wanted to make sure I was ok with them coming over. Even with everything that's happened to her she was still making sure that I was ok. So instead I took her hand and countered her question.

"Are you ok with that? Are you ok with more visitors?" I asked her.

"Hulien knows a lot more about this and so does Nahuel. All that matters is that this baby is born safely. If they can help Carlisle..." She shrugged nonchalantly. I nodded.

"I know that the baby's health is important Leah but so is yours. Grandpa can manage your pregnancy without them just as well as he can with them here. You don't need to see more people if you don't want to."

"They're your family Ness. We have nothing to be ashamed of besides I have a feeling that this kid is going to need as much support as he or she can get."

"What? We're not good enough for you Clearwater?" Jacob asked with a smile.

"Of course you are dumbass! But we all know that not everyone will be accepting of this baby. I can't help but notice the people who haven't been here to see me." She was referring to Sam and most of his pack. Only a few of the members from Sam's pack had come to see her. Jared, Collin, and Steven only came over once. The others were still young so I had assumed this was the reason why they weren't around but even I found it strange that Emily was here and Sam was not.

"He's an idiot Leah. Don't you dare give him a second thought." I had to agree with Jake. I was very disappointing at Sam. I knew he hated us but I never imagined he would abandon Leah like this.

"My life isn't about Sam Uley and whatever his problem is. I love this baby. She's everything. I just don't want this baby to grow up feeling like the family reject. I kind of know what is feels to be unwanted by your own family." I felt a strong sting of guilt hit me. It was sharp, painful, and it wasn't my own. I looked at Jake and saw the hurt and guilt written all over his face. Leah looked at him too and I saw a flare of annoyance. She made the same face she did at school when one of the students were our of line.

"Damn it Jake I didn't mean it like that! Besides, I know you would never treat my kid as an outcast. You were the one that saved me from that." She told him.

"Leah this kid is a Quileute. I don't care what Sam has to say about it. My dad is chief and Sue is an elder. Nobody is going to mess with your daughter."

"And if the kid is anything like me, they're not going to want to anyway." She smiled proudly. I could see the love that had developed in her over the past few days had grown. Momma said that the type of love she felt for me was stronger than anything else she ever experienced. It was even stronger than the love she felt for dad, which was why she was able to go against him to protect me. Dad suspected that this strong love was part of the baby's defense mechanism. The same way anyone who touched me found me irresistible during the first year of my life or the same way humans found vampire scent and beauty alluring. It was a supernatural attraction to the baby and, for the mothers, it started at the womb. Leah had no choice but to love this child; however, knowing Leah, she would have loved this baby regardless. I was sure the baby could feel it, just as I could when I was inside my mother. Grandpa and Eve walked in, Seth trailing behind them. Eve was holding a little tray with Leah's medicines.

"It's time for your vitamin Leah. Does anything hurt?" She asked her, shyly. She was trying to avoid eye contact with Jacob. She felt shy around the men in the family. The only men she felt comfortable around were Seth and grandpa. Seth because of the imprint and grandpa because it was hard not to love my grandfather. Dad suggested that caring for someone else will help her with her rehabilitation. Grandpa had been putting her to work by helping Leah. She needed to make herself useful and it helped that Eve was a natural at being a healer. I saw that characteristic the moment we met. She pushed me aside to help Leah and she felt protective of her since the beginning. Now she was almost as obsessive as me. Leah didn't mind the extra attention Eve was giving her. She was very supportive of Eve. We all wanted to help Eve get through what she went through.

"Nothing hurts mini doc." Leah told her smirking at her new nickname. "I think the little one is sleeping." She told grandpa as he listened to her heart. Eve handed her the little cup with her vitamins and a cup of blood in a metal container. She swallowed it without difficulty while Jake looked like he was about to faint.

"She started vomiting everything her were giving her. We are feeding her intravenously and with blood. It's the only thing she can keep down today." Grandpa explained. Jake nodded, the look of shock slowly turning to one of sympathy.

"Alright Leah. Your heart is still strong but I want you to get some rest." Jake and I took the hint so we said our goodbyes and went downstairs. I was so relieved Leah was doing so well. She was strong. She would get through this. I could feel it.

Some of the Denali had been traveling in Asia so they arrived in pairs over the following few days. By the time Carmen and Eliezer arrived we received a letter from Aro expressing his condolences for what happened to me and Leah. His letter was simple but concise. He expressed his interest in our new family members and warned against increasing our numbers further due to exposure since we have chosen to live among humans.

Grandpa took the opportunity to respond to his letter to inform him that he and I are the only ones out in the public. He also sent a letter to Marcus expressing our thanks for allowing Duilio to visit and that we all felt Duilio could benefit from exposure to different cultures and environments. He offered take Duilio on our annual vacation during the summers. Grandpa outlined all the benefits of allowing hybrids to travel in hopes that he considers taking Duilio out of Volterra and away from Aro and Caius.

Leah condition was stable and she was getting bigger every day. The different members of the pack came to visit on and off but there was one person who still hadn't visited. Sam. Emily had been coming every single day. She wouldn't hover around Leah but she would make herself useful in the kitchen and keeping grandma Sue or uncle Seth company. Emily never had a chance to be alone with Leah. It made me sad because I knew that she wanted to talk to her but she just didn't know how. I wanted to help her talk to Leah but I didn't want to stress Leah so instead I tried to become friends with Emily. One afternoon, I finally asked Emily why Sam hadn't stopped by to visit.

"Sam was having a hard time with what happened. I didn't want him to cause any more stress to Leah or you." Emily explained.

"I think we're all having a hard time. I wouldn't have a problem with him being here. He's always been protective of Leah. I want her to have all the support she needs." She nodded in agreement.

"That's why I told him he wasn't allowed to come here. He's having a hard time accepting Leah's baby." She said ashamed. I felt sorry for her. She must be in such a difficult position.

"I'm sorry Emily. I know this must be hard."

"Don't you worry about me, honey. How's Duli doing?"

"He's ok. He misses everyone already."

"He's a good boy. He sent me flowers the other day but I wonder if that was more to piss of Sam than anything else. They were beautiful regardless." I smiled.

"He likes to send all the women flowers. He says flowers make the female soul glow brighter. But I am sure pissing off Sam was minor part of his reason as well." She chuckled and I went over to sit by Jacob.

Jacob had talked to my parents and he decided he was going to stop working so he could be there for Leah and the baby. I also decided not to return to school for the rest of the semester. I didn't want to go back at all but after talking to Leah, she convinced me to just take the semester off and then see how I feel for the spring term. I did miss my friends. Mica, Andrew, Carol and Anna came by almost every afternoon. I saw Lisa and Danny on some weekends but it was different because they didn't know about our world.

Jacob was very supportive during this time. He could feel my emotions and he was trying to help me through them. It was going to be a long process for me to feel like myself again. Jacob found a way to be there for both Leah and me. We were spending a lot of time together, like we did when I was a little girl. I had a feeling that part of the reason was because just like that time before the Volturi came, he was afraid of losing me.

All of my life I have been protected so it never occurred to me that someone could attempt to hurt me. It made me feel raw and vulnerable. I kept reminding myself that I defeated my opponents but a part of me was still afraid, still processing what happened. It was strange that as days passed I discovered new emotions that I didn't realize I had. It was my fear underlying most of them. This fear was the one that kept me from saving Leah when they brought me back to that room. This fear was the one that gave me nightmares at night. This fear was what kept me from moving forward. I was afraid for myself but I was also afraid that I would be in a situation where I wouldn't be able to defend the people I cared about. I finally decided to talk to the one person who might understand. I told Leah about what I was feeling. Not because she asked but because she already knew that something was wrong and she didn't push me to tell her.

"Nessie, I am glad that you didn't tell them the truth. I get why you feel guilty but you need to understand something."

"What?"

"I'm an adult. I'm a big sister and I'm the second oldest in the pack. I have had many many years of practice being a protector and letting my instincts take over. You've been in this world for less than a quarter of what I have. Sure you're a smart ass and an annoying little genius but those types of instincts take time to develop. You have them too but you're only just discovering them." I nodded. My mind was developed but my instincts were not. I had never had to use my vampire instincts so they were very new to me. She was silent for a moment then she patted my hand and continued. "There's another thing too. I get that you have the mind of an adult but for them to do to you what they did to me would have been an even greater tragedy. It lease I knew what to expect. Was it a horrific experience for me but for you..." She took a breath as if she were trying to control her emotions. I put my arms around her as I felt my own tears fall for my brave best friend.

"I still can't believe you're ok with all this. I wish I was strong like you."

"Ness..." She hesitated for a moment. "I'm happy to finally have a baby. I love her. I understand how Bella was so willing to die to have you. This love is almost supernatural and at the same time its completely normal. But as much as I love this baby, I'm not totally ok. I keep seeing him in my head every time I close my eyes. I have nightmares almost every fucking night. I get this anxious feeling in my chest like there is someone out there waiting for me and Jasper has to come in here to calm me down in case the baby feels threatened again. I keep pretending to be ok, hoping that if I say it enough times I'll start believing it but I can't help the feeling that someone is coming for me maybe even watching me."

"Leah, I'm so sorry."

"I didn't tell you this to make you feel bad. I just... I want you to know that its ok to feel afraid and to feel like shit. We went through hell, Ness. Eve can't even go to sleep without Esme or or Seth there with her."

"Its night terrors and she's also showing symptoms of severe OCD. That's why she's in here every 45 minutes to check on you. Her room has to be set in a very specific way or she starts scratching her hand until its raw. It heals up quickly but its still pretty disturbing. Dad's reading up on it more so that he can treat her." She scoffed when I mentioned dad.

"That doesn't surprise me. They want to fix us but it can't be fixed in a day. We all just need time. We all did the best we could under the circumstances and we survived."

"I didn't. I could have done more." Leah rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"You saved me and the way you took charge of the situation after you saved me shows that you got the right instincts. We're not that different."

"I just knew that I had to take care of you and the kids so I did what I had to do. It was no big deal."

"Yes it was. You did what you had to do just like I did. I sure as hell wasn't gonna let anything happen to you and its not just because you're my best friend but also because well… You ARE my niece and well I love you kid. Ok? There I said it." She wiped the one tear that did fall as I took her hand.

"Don't worry Leah. I won't let anyone know you finally admitted my mom is your sister. Or that you are starting to understand her." I said trying to lighten the mood.

"You better! I may be pregnant but I can still rip you a new one!"

Leah was the one who helped me the most in getting through my depression. For Leah it was all about protecting me. She was able to accept what happened because it meant that I was safe. For me, it was learning that its ok to be afraid and that I needed to trust myself. I didn't know I was able to take down my oppressors and that's why I hesitated instead of trying to save Leah from the start. Together, we healed each other and helped Eve as best we could. She had the most disturbing experience of all. I worried that she was just too young when it all started and that it was now the effects would be engraved in her persona but she was making some progress in her rehabilitation.

I worked hard on not allowing myself to feel impotent. I was strong and I did my best; however, it was hard to be satisfied with my best. For the first time in my life, I felt that my gift was useless. Sure, I was able to distract those two vampires but it was only for a moment. I still wished that I could be fierce like Leah or powerful like my mother. I wished so hard that I could be like my mother. She was able to push out her shield and protect everyone she loved.

Levan was sharper and quicker than Ramon. If Leah hadn't been there I might not have been able to stop him. The pain I projected onto him was sharp, distracting, but not debilitating. Had Leah not been there, I had no doubts that he would have been able to paralyze me, even through the pain I projected. The pain I projected just wasn't strong enough because I've never had to suffer physically debilitating pain. Even the pain that I felt from Ramon's bite was hardly bothersome because of my vampire abilities. I needed to feel real pain, the type of pain that could bring a vampire to his knees. There was only one person who could help me feel the pain I needed and conveniently enough she was here visiting. The question was would she?

"Absolutely not! Are you out of your mind?! Your parents would kill me and personally I don't think I can do it." Kate told me. Her eyes were uncertain but I could see that she was considering it. I had gotten her alone, under the rouge of needing to spend some quality time with old friends. I had tried my best to keep my thoughts hidden from daddy but a part of me kept listening to the forest just in case.

"This will work Kate. I was able to project the pain I felt from Ramon's bite. I just need you to shock me at full power for about a minute. That should give me enough pain to bring down my opponents."

"A minute! Nessie, you don't understand. I joke around threatening to shock my family and sometimes I may give them some low volt shocks to mess with them but it's different with you." I approached her and I took her hand. I showed her some of the times we were together when we visited Alaska. Running through the forest, catching mountain lions, playing board games, telling stories around the fireplace, all the memories she was referring to so that she would know that I loved her too. Then I showed her what happened to me, how it felt to have my body be paralyzed, Ramon touching me, being bitten, seeing Leah laying on that wretched bed. I pulled back my hand and she lowered her head.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you." She looked into my eyes for a long moment as if she was looking for something. I'm not sure what she saw but her decision was made. She was going to help me.

"Ok. Nessie. But if it gets too much just tell me to stop."

"Thank you!" I hugged her.

"Don't hug me yet. This is going to hurt."

"Don't hold back. Give me your worst." I told her. She nodded. She approached me and placed her hands on my shoulders. It only took a second for the pain to start. I tried hard not to scream but it was inevitable. The pain of being electrocuted was excruciating. It was like my insides were being fried then suddenly it stopped. I was on my knees. She held my shoulders and pulled me up to my feet.

"Nessie, look at me! Are you ok?" She asked me. I was surprised to hear the hint of emotion that touched her voice. I nodded. My body was no longer in any physical pain but my mind still recoiled at the memory.

"Ok. Your turn." She told me. I looked at her confused.

"You made me shock you. Its only fair that I make you return the favor. Besides, we need to see if this worked. I would hate for Bella to kill me for no good reason, not that I would blame her, but I'm just saying." She smiled at me. I rolled my eyes but I worried that it might not work.

"I'm not sure how to make it work."

"You need to go back to that moment. You need to be that angry and scared. Embrace it and then shock me like its them you wanna hurt." She instructed. I nodded and let the memory sweep me. I felt the anger and desperation again. I felt the utter hatred. My adrenalin was pumping and within a moment I felt my gift project out. I made sure I concentrated on the feeling of being shocked and sure enough I saw Kate fall on the floor screaming. I pulled back my gift quickly and ran towards her to help her up.

"Fuck! So that's what that feels like." She muttered to herself. We looked at each other. She had a satisfied smile on her as she examined me. She hugged me and in that very moment Jacob's massive wolf form appeared with two other wolves, my parents and uncles. Jacob! I had forgotten that he could feel everything too.

"Jake! I'm so sorry. I forgot that you would be affected too." I saw his eyes staring at me confused then he turned his head to my dad.

"She asked Kate to shock her." He said.

"She did what?!" My mom said outraged.

"Wait Bella. Nessie, show them why. Use me this time." Daddy told me. Jacob, Seth and Embry had returned in their human forms.

"Daddy, I don't have to shock you. I can just show them my memory."

"No. I want to see it for myself. I need to see it, to feel it." He explained. I nodded and again I let the anger and hate explode out of me and onto my father who I loved so much. I saw him drop to the floor and immediately I pulled back. Momma stepped forward to help him up. Jake came right up to me and hugged me.

"I don't understand. What the hell is going on?" Seth asked.

"Nessie can project pain. Physical pain only she's never really felt any serious physical pain before. That's why she asked Kate to shock her. She needed to feel it in order to project the pain though her gift." Daddy explained.

"She can project pain, like..." Garret asked disturbed. He was holding on to Kate protectively.

"Like Jane." Uncle Jasper cut him off. "Only Nessie's power can be much stronger. We've all felt her project memories to multiple people at once. Jane can only do one at a time."

"And Nessie can penetrate any shield. She could probably project pain through Alec's gifts." Dad said. Momma only looked worried.

"Look, I know how amazing this is but isn't this just going to make Aro want her more."

"Only if he knows about it. I don't think anyone here's gonna tell him." Uncle Emmett told her.

"I need this Momma. I need to not be afraid anymore." I told her. She came up to me and hugged me. Daddy walked over to Kate, took her hand and kissed it before he thanked her for what she did.

"It wasn't easy, I'll tell you that." She told him. Garret held her a little tighter when momma went up to her.

"Ok, I guess I won't have to kill you for shocking my baby." She told her, her arms were crossed as if she were still debating it. We all started laughing and she hugged Kate awkwardly.

We went back to the house and my uncles decided to start a training regimen to exercise my gift like they had done with my mom. My mom even used her shield to try to protect my unwilling guinea pigs but her shield was no match for my gift. It became easier to push out the pain. I didn't even need to get angry. I could see my power explode out of me like an elastic band that I stretched out and pulled back as I pleased. I could even use it to shock multiple people at once and I was able to choose the people I wanted to shock. Momma said that it was like her shield. She too could focus on the people she wanted to protect. The more I practiced the easier it became and by the time Leah was ready to give birth, I felt I was ready to protect them from anything.