Chapter 23:
Emily woke up before JJ the next morning and decided to make breakfast for the two of them. Carefully not to disturb the sleeping blonde, she snuck out of the bed and headed to the kitchen. As she was making eggs she let her mind wander. She had absolutely no idea why the blond had been in such distress last night, and it scared her. Maybe all of JJ's memories hadn't come back yet? I need to make sure she's not alone and something like this happens again! Emily though to herself. She was angry with herself that she went without the blonde, why did she insist on have to pick her up for their date?
Emily finished the eggs and put the plate on a trey with a coffee cup. She turned to find a fork, before taking the trey to the blonde.
"EMILY!"
Emily dropped the fork and ran to the bedroom.
"EMILY!"
She couldn't get there fast enough, and when she rushed through the door she saw the blonde sitting on the edge of the bed crying. The tears streamed down her cheeks and she held her head in her hands.
"Hi, JJ. I am right here!" When JJ heard Emily's voice, she looked up.
"Emily!" The blonde's voice shock with tears, and Emily quickly moved to sit next to the blonde.
"I am here, love!" Emily gently pulled JJ onto her lap and held her to her chest. "Try to breathe with me okay?" Emily started to breathe slowly, hoping JJ would follow suit.
JJ finally calmed down, but she didn't let go of the grip she had on Emily.
"Jay, how are you feeling?"
"I don't know, Em. Scared and tired I guess."
Emily lifted JJ's head and gently stroke away the remaining of JJ's tears. With her other hand she softly rubbed circles on the blonde's back.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Emily asked softly. She wouldn't push JJ, but if she could she would help the blonde to talk through the pain.
"I don't know what to tell you." JJ's voice sounded much weaker that usually and it made Emily tighten her grip on the younger blonde.
"It's okay, Jennifer." When JJ's full name slipped passed Emily's lips, the blonde stiffened.
"Don't call me that!" she said, a little sharper than she meant.
"I'm sorry. I won't call you that." Emily knew JJ didn't mean to snap at her, so she didn't let herself get hurt by the rather sharp comment. "Do you think you can tell me why you were so upset this morning?" Emily asked softly, keeping JJ tight to her chest, as if protecting her from the world around her, even from herself.
"I just had a dream. I was back in that room, in New Orleans, but you never came for me. But then you were there, but HE was behind you. And when you bent down to pick up, he... He hit you. He kept hitting and kicking you, and you tried to fight back. But then he manage hit you over the head and you passed out, so he dragged you out of the room. Then I heard a cold laughter and a gun shot." JJ stopped to take a deep breath. She closed her eyes and snuggled even closer into Emily.
"And then I woke up. And you weren't here. And I thought... I thought it wasn't a dream, that he really had killed you. So I tried to call for you, but you didn't answer. Please, don't ever leave me!" The blonde broke down again and sobbed into Emily's chest.
"Hey! I got you out of there, and I am right here, living and breathing." To prove her point Emily slowly entangled herself from JJ and placed the blond's hand on her heart.
"Do you feel that, Jay?" JJ sniffed and nodded. "That's me living. That's my heart. I am so sorry for leaving you alone, I won't ever do that again! You won't ever need to feel alone. But if you do, feel this." Emily reached around her neck and unclasped her necklace. Emily slowly fasted it around JJ's neck.
"My grandfather gave me that. He once found me crying in my bed, afraid of the thunderstorm. He placed my hand on his heart so I could feel his heartbeat, and I calmed down. The next day he bought me this so that I always could feel a heart when I was scared."
"Emily, I cant..!"
"Yes you can JJ! It's mine to give whomever I want. My Grandfather told me to be careful with who I gave my heart to, so don't think I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not saying "I love you", because I'm honestly not sure I do yet, and I don't want to rush things. But I know that someday I will, and until then, until you have my heart, you have that one." Emily placed the sweetest kisses on JJ's forehead and cheek.
"How about I draw you a bath?"
"Emily can you stay?" JJ sat in the bath, with a cup of coffee and a sandwich on the edge of the tub.
"Sure, sweetie!" Emily found a stool and sat down next to JJ. Emily leaned over and grabbed a washcloth and slowly started to wash JJ's back.
"Lean forward a bit baby." JJ did as she was told and enjoyed the softness of Emily washing her back. When Emily was done, she sat back again, immediately missing the brunette's touch. As if Emily read her thoughts she reached over and tok JJ's hand.
"Jay? Do you want to talk about what happened last night?" Emily spoke softly while playing with JJ's hand.
"I'm not sure, Emily. I'm just so scared."
"You know that I'll always be here for you, right?" Emily looked the blonde deep in the eyes, "and it's okay to be scared, love. We're all scared sometimes. And I'm here to help you."
"I thought I got all of my memories back when we left New Orleans, but I guess I didn't." The blond started. She closed her eyes and tok a deep breath. "I was in my closet to find something to wear for our date. I don't know exactly what triggered the memory, but all of a sudden I heard a voice. It was the voice of the first UnSub I ever killed.
It was before I joined the team, or our team. I was training with another BAU team while waiting for my transfer to our team would be completed. Anyway, we were away on a case in Arkansas and the UnSub was stalking and hunting his victims before he killed them. He would follow them around all day and observe them. He would only kill women, and he would wait until they were left behind by their spouse. Then he would infiltrate their house and slowly he would sneak up on them. We had absolutely no clues, so Agent Newman, the unit chief at the time, decided that Agent Jackson and I should go undercover. We moved into a house and pretended to be married. The third day, Jackson "left" on a work conference, and I was left alone in the house. Of course there were surveillance stuff around, and I had my gun, but it wasn't fun.
The night after Jackson left I thought I started to hear things. It was important not to blow my cover, and I didn't want it to look like I couldn't manage the heat, so I grabbed my gun and flashlight and tok a look around the house. It was quiet and all the doors and windows were locked, so I went back to the bed. Somehow I managed to get some hours sleep that night. When I went to "work" in the morning, I met up with my team and we had a short briefing. I didn't tell them about what I thought I heard, afraid that the boys would just make fun of me, and around 4 p.m. I went back to the house.
That night the UnSub came into the house. Somehow, someway he managed to sneak in. He slowly started to hunt me. He would make small sounds or movements, and it really freaked me out. Then it stopped for awhile and I sat myself down on the couch and told myself, out loud, that it was just stupid. Then, out of nowhere, he appeared in front of me and said
"No it's not, Jennifer!"
He grinned and laughed, as I shot up from my seat and tried to escape. I knew the panic alarm was in the bedroom, so I tried to make my way there. I should have known better, he was a hunter and loved it when his prey ran. He followed me through the house, letting me run in front of me. When I reached the bedroom, he grabbed me from behind and held me.
"Did you think you could escape from me Jennifer?" he asked me, "You'll never be able to escape me!"
I started to fight back, witch cause him to laugh again. Somehow I manage to escape his grip and I ran to the panic alarm and pressed it. Even though the team was close, I knew they wouldn't be there in time.
"Where are you going to run, Jennifer? No one is here to save you!"
He moved closer to me, and I reached for my gun. When I pulled it out, he laughed harder.
"Are you going to shoot me, Jennifer? What good will that do you? I'll never stop hunting you!"
As he spoke, he moved closer to me, and it felt like I couldn't breathe.
"What are you going to do, little Jennifer? Are you going to kill me?"
Without a second thought I pulled the trigger. My bullet hit him between the eyes. After 5 minutes the boys arrived. I was sitting on the floor next to his dead body, my gun still in my hand. His blood and brain still on my shirt and my face. Agent Jackson got me out of there and to the hospital. After I got cleaned up and cleared to go home, we went home.
Once at Quantico I learned that my transfer papers had gone through and I was to start at the BAU, our team, the following Monday. My boss, Agent Newman, ordered me to take the weekend off and start fresh with my new team. The boys thanked me for my work, and I packed up my stuff and went home. I cried myself to sleep that night, and did mostly cry that weekend. Except for talking to someone I met in a park. She was beautiful, and we talked about normal things, like the weather and politics.
Somehow I managed to put a lid on the whole Arkansas situation, and Monday morning I reported for duty.
Since yesterday, I haven't ever thought about it."
As if Emily knew JJ felt vulnerable, she found a big, soft towel and pulled the blonde out of the bath. Once JJ was draped in the towel, Emily led them to the bedroom and found some sweats and a shirt for JJ to wear.
The two of them made their way into the kitchen and Emily made some tea.
"You okay, Jay?" Emily softly asked once they were on the couch. JJ nodded and snuggled into Emily's side. Emily kissed JJ on the top of her head and put an arm around her.
"I am so sorry, that happened to you baby! I kinda hate you old team mates to treat you like that! And I understand why you don't want me to call you Jennifer." Emily held JJ close and stroke the blonde's back.
"You want to know something?" Emily broke the silence with an almost amused voice.
"Hmm.. Sure."
"Three years ago I felt my life fall apart. I had just found my girlfriend cheating on me, in my bed, and I had just quit my job. I was staying at my mom's place in D.C. for awhile. One day I decided to explore Virginia, so I drove around until I found a park. I walked through the park, it was a Sunday and for once, the weather was nice.
So there I was, Emily Prentiss, sitting on a park bench, thinking about how beautiful the park was. Then out of no where this beautiful woman comes over to the bench and says:
"It's beautiful here. Do you mind if I sit?" When I didn't object she sat down. And for the next two hours all the crap in the world disappeared. It was like in kindergarden when you meet someone and you instantly like them and play with them, without knowing a single thing about them. So we sat there and chatted about normal things, like weather and politics.
The girl in the park made me see that there was more to life than I thought, and that following Monday I enrolled on the FBI academy."