The Angels of Zeno say that there are only 13 universes. They are wrong. There's an infinite multitude of multiple multiverses out there and this is the story one of them. More specifically, the story of a Sixth Universe just slightly different from the one we know. Instead of growing up as a punk leader and follower, Caulifla and Kale became Captain and Vice Captain of the Sadala Army Defense Force which makes things very different when the God of Destruction Champa and his Angel assistant Vados come asking for one private Cabba one fateful day for a tournament between their universe and another Universe known as the Seventh...
Captain Caulifla of the Sadala Army Defense Force glared up at the tall, blue skin otherworldly woman in the emerald, green robe that floated before her desk. Beside her was a plump faced, feline-like being who just vaporized one of her privates with some strange purple energy she hadn't even been able to sense.
The spiky haired Saiyan kept her cool as she allowed a slight smirk to flash across her face.
"So let me get this right. Tubs over there is a 'God of Destruction', who had a thinner, lazier brother in another universe, and you've basically put together a tournament between their strongest fighters and us because Tubs and his brother because this planet Dirt or whatever has good food in it? And you need strong fighters, so naturally you came to my squad."
Slowly the Defense Force Captain sat her armored, toned body back in her hard wood chair and scowled.
Soldiers in the Defense Force had two options when it came to armor: The traditional style that privates like Cabba wore for the history of it and the more modern style that Caulifla and her vice-captain wore which was bulkier with color rimmed shoulder pads and a protective battle spandex. Caulifla had trained in the newer armor as a cadet and that was what she wore even while on duty.
Vados smiled. "That is essentially the situation, yes."
"And call me Tubs one more time and I'll Haki you like I did your little minion."
Caulifla glanced over where her subordinate, Jeff, had been a few moments ago. She had never liked the Saiyan private, finding his insubordination and passively sexist comments to be grating and if not for his power and skill as a fighter, she'd had dropped him from the Force ages ago.
As usual while on the clock, the Captain wore her standard uniform: dark purple battle spandex and broad-shouldered armor with a pink trim around the edge as a personal touch that denoted her rank as captain.
Caulifla glanced at her sister in battle and Vice-Captain First Class, Kale. As always, she stood stoically at attention in her full blood red body armor, bronze face stoic in the face of anything, even quite literally the gods themselves.
"Permission to speak freely, Kale. What do you make of all this?"
Vice-Captain Kale swallowed the lump she had been holding and breathed, her armor shifting with the inhale of air.
"Sis," Kale said, stressing the old childhood nickname. "These two just popped out of thin air and Lord... Champa, was it?"
Champa nodded, a pleased smirk on his plump cat-like face that some mortals at least knew how to show proper respect.
"Lord Champa just vaporized Private Jeff with an energy I couldn't even sense. Logically I think it's fair to say that these two are what they say they are."
"Yeah," Caulifla sighed. "Was afraid you'd say that. Was kinda hoping the stress of Captainship had finally gotten to me and I was imagining all this." This sort of stuff never happened to that big lug of an older brother of mine, Renso. Figures I get stuck with whatever the hell all this is once I got the title of Captain.
She turned her black-eyed steel hard gaze towards Vados, her eyes narrowed slightly.
"Who else did you have in mind for this team you're putting together?"
"The assassin, Hit. Your boss Frost, and the beings Botamo and Magetta."
"Botamo?" Caulifla snorted. "You'd seriously want someone that lame to represent... What's our universe's number again?"
"We are the sixth universe."
"Right, Universe Six."
"What's wrong with Botamo?" Champa asked, his air of arrogance temporarily gone as he looked genuinely curious.
"May I speak?" Kale asked the divine duo.
Vados nodded to her.
"Go ahead, Vice-Captain."
"Lord Champa, with all due respect to your original pick, my battle sister and I have fought them before as joint exercises with the Frost Force. They are powerful, to be sure, but both have gaping holes in their fighting styles. Botamo may be immune to physical attacks like strikes and even energy attacks, but he can still be thrown out assuming there is a ring with boundaries in this tournament. In addition, because of his people's proportions his reach is seriously lacking."
"Further, while Magetta's metallic body would undoubtedly give him an advantage, the fact that he's weak to something as simple as insults makes his practical combat use extremely variable at best." Kale finished. "There are other, more minor issues with them, but those are the major problems they have as fighters." Also, I don't really like them.
"And who would you recommend we replace them with?" Champa asked in between a lazy yawn.
Caulifla and Kale glanced at one another.
"Hello? Captain of the Sadala Army Defense Force sitting right here." Caulifla's smirk vanished, and a more serious, captain-like expression took hold.
"But to be more serious," Captain Caulifla said with all of her authority as a Captain. "My Vice-Captain and I would be more than honored to fight in your tournament as substitutes."
Vados hummed as she mused the idea over. "I'll admit, we were just planning on using Cabba as he is one of your race's strongest warriors potential wise…"
Kale snickered, causing the Angel to look at her with a slight frown.
"May I ask, Vice-Captain, what your objections are now?"
"I don't have any objections about Private Cabba's power," Kale shook her head, bemused. "He is one of our most powerful warriors, besides the Captain and I. But he's-"
"He's softhearted." Caulifla finished with her usual tactless manner. "Unlike us, he lacks the spine a true Soldier of Sadala needs to fight in the name of Justice. However, if my Vice Captain and I are there to oversee him during this tournament then I have no complaints about allowing his usage for this tournament. That is my requirement as his superior: I'll loan you Cabba, but Kale and I get to fight as well. A fair trade, wouldn't you say?"
Vados glanced at Champa. "My Lord?"
Champa scowled. "As much as I hate giving anyone as disrespectful as you-" he glared at Captain Caulifla as he said this. "Credit. You do raise a point. A few of them. Alright, fine! You two can take Botamo and Magetta's places in the tournament."
Caulifla smiled. "Thank you, Lord Champa."
A small twitch appeared under Champa's plump purple face, but the Destroyer said nothing.
"We will return within the hour with your fellow teammates."
With a thump of her staff, Vados and Champa vanished as easily as they had appeared and just as suddenly.
Caulifla slumped forward onto her desk and sighed.
"What the hell have we gotten ourselves into, Kale?"
"A tournament between two similar universes with disappointingly low stakes, apparently."
"Kale, I was being rhetorical."
A ghost of a smile crept across Kale's face. "I know, Captain."
"Come on, Kale, it's just the two of us, you know you can drop that whole 'Captain' stuff when it's just us."
Kale's shoulders loosened up. "Sorry, sis. Proper decorum and all that."
Kale glanced over to where Jeff had been. "I suppose I might as well get started on the paperwork and funeral arrangements."
"Eh. You're a vice captain, now. Pass that off to a subordinate."
"Like you do with me?" Kale deadpanned.
Caulifla grinned. "Bingo."
The shared smile between the two lasted a moment before their confidence cracked.
Caulifla let out a weak laugh.
"Seriously, though, I'm still shaking after all that." Caulifla admitted, holding up her now trembling hands as they shook madly. "I'm lucky I wasn't zapped from existence like that asshole Jeff, aren't I?"
"Why do you think I kept calling him 'Lord Champa'?"
"Cuz you're more respectful and deferral than I am?"
Kale frowned at her Captain. "And yet you're the Captain."
"Cuz I got the confidence and leadership to hold the job." Caulifla pointed out with her usual swagger and pride. Her mind then turned to the fast approaching tournament.
On her desk, she pressed a button on the PA system before moving her mouth closer to the microphone.
"Alright you primitive screw heads, listen up: Captain Caulifla, your vice-captain Kale and Private Cabba are going to be off planet on a special mission for a few days. If we come back and find that this place isn't as ship-shaped as when we left it..." Caulifla chuckled darkly, her ominous laughter echoing throughout the entirety of her base. "Then you'll have the She-Beast to deal with. That's all, maggots! Captain Caulifla signing out. Oh, and Cabba? My office, ASAP."
Caulifla chuckled to herself as she leaned back in the chair. "Have I ever mentioned how much I love being a Captain?"
"Only five times this week. And it's Tuesday." Kale said, shaking her head. "And I know I've said this before, but do you have to use my... other self as a motivational tool to keep them in shape?"
Caulifla rolled her eyes. "Please, Kale. We're not privates fresh off the streets of Sadala anymore. We're the bosses now which means our rules, within regulation of course, go."
Just then a timid, male voice entered the conversation.
"Y-You wanted to see me, Captain Caulifla?"
Cabba entered the room with his usual passive presence. Though lanky and thin by nature and with an air that said everything but a 'soldier' many a common criminal had made the mistaken assumption that Private Cabba Third Class was not much to be afraid of. This happened, generally, right before said criminal was taken out in a rib or bone shattering blow by the Private.
Caulifla smiled with a friendliness that instantly told Cabba that something important (and more importantly, something dangerous) was up.
"Cabba, my boy. Come on in. Pull up a chair."
Cabba closed the door behind him and did so. "Captain, we're more or less the same age, remember?"
"True." Caulifla agreed. "But as your Captain I've always felt it's fair that Kale and I are like the big sisters you never had, right?"
"R-Right. Of course!"
The first rule of serving under Captain Caulifla was to never question her logic. Sometimes she was your tough as nails mother figure. Sometimes she was your boss. Sometimes she was your 'big sis'. Whatever she said she was at that moment, you agreed with her. Vice-Captain Kale, thankfully, was nowhere near as picky and preferred to keep things professional when it came to matters of military address, a fact that Cabba was extremely grateful for.
"And it's the job of little brothers to help their big sisters out when they need it, right?"
"Right." Cabba couldn't see where this was going but if past experiences with the Captain taught him anything, it was nowhere good and there would be a lot of punching and screaming and energy blasts involved.
"Kale, explain the thing to him."
Kale sighed. "Basically, you've been recruited as a part of a tournament between our universe and another by way of divine gods and angels and your Captain and I have thrown ourselves into this mix. We three will be part of a team of five, including the assassin Hit and Lord Frost himself. Oh, and the gods exist and their jerks, or at least ours is."
Cabba blinked as he looked between his Captain and Vice-Captain. "... Is this some sort of hazing thing I'm not aware of?"
"Sadly, no." Caulifla said, leaning back once more in her chair. "I can admire a good prank but we're completely serious about this god tournament weirdness. Right, Kale?"
Kale nodded, gravely. "Indeed. As the more serious one of the two of us-"
Caulifla once more rolled her eyes as Kale continued. "I can assure you that everything your Captain just said is the truth."
"Oh." Cabba blinked. "I-is the universe at stake?"
"A planet from the 7th universe will swap places where one of ours used to be if they lose." Kale explained. "Ours has no life on it, theirs does. More importantly, it apparently has delicious food that makes the gods themselves squabble over it. Otherwise, that's it. No universal or planetary doom, as far as we know."
"I see..." Cabba thought it over. "And these divine beings wanted you, Captain?"
"Technically, they wanted you." Caulifla admitted. "But as good big sisters Kale and I couldn't just let you go by yourself, so we volunteered our amazing skills to watch over your back, soldier."
"Oh." Cabba deflated a bit before quickly returning his shoulders and posture back to attention. "I-I see. Thank you both, big sisters."
Kale shook her head and sighed. "I just wished we had a dossier on who we're fighting."
"Ask and ye shall receive." Vados popped back into existence, surprising everyone but really surprising Cabba in particular who let out a stunned yelp.
Vados giggled at the male Saiyan's shocked expression. "Hello, young man. I am Vados. Retainer to the Destroyer Champa and Angel Servant to the Grand Priest and Lord Zeno."
"He-Hello, ma'am. I-I'm Private C-Cabba, Elite Third Class."
Out of ingrained habit, Cabba saluted. "I-I'm greatly honored that you considered me worthy enough for this tournament."
"Is there a reason why you've returned early, Miss Vados?" Kale asked with a frown. "It hasn't been an hour yet."
"True. But I came to give you these," Vados flicked her sky-blue wrist and three thick paper filled folders appeared in front of the trio of Sadala soldiers.
"These are biographies I've compiled of the five warriors you will be facing for the tournament.
The three took their respective folders and began to read through them.
Through these documents they learned the following:
They would be fighting an 'Earthling' with three eyes named Tien Shenhan, a Namkeian by the unNamkeian name of Piccolo, a half Saiyan half Earthling by the name of Son Gohan, his father a full blooded Saiyan who went by both an Earthling and Saiyan name of all things (Goku and Kakarot) and the apparent Prince of the Saiyans of the Seven Universe, a being by the name of Vegeta.
As the three read through each biography, Caulifla's shoulders began to shake as she scanned through Vegeta's biography in particular.
"S-Sis, are you okay?" Kale asked when she and Cabba had finished their respective folders.
"These Saiyans need to be brought to justice!" Caulifla declared, slamming her palms onto her desk as the room rattled in recoil. "I've never heard of such despicable, vileness applied to the Saiyan race."
"Oh. You mean the stuff about Vegeta's father and his generation wiping out the Truffles and working with that evil version of Lord Frost?"
"No, I mean the fact that these people are just stupid enough to just let their villains transform in front of them- YES THE TRUFFLE THING!" Caulifla snapped, causing Cabba to cower at the Captain's burst of anger.
"Well, they were forced to work for an evil version of Lord Frost, to be fair," Kale said with a frown. When Caulifla turned to her, taken back by her words, the Vice-Captain added, "I'm not saying I approve of the whole 'destroyers of civilization' aspect. Far from it, sis, but I hardly think it's fair to judge the Saiyans of the 7th Universe by our own moral standards."
"Yeah, and who forced these insults to Saiyandom to murder the Truffles?" Caulifla asked in a bitter, anger filled tone that was more rhetorical than anything else.
"Oh, no one did that." Vados said, casually. "They did that of their own accord."
Caulifla sneered. "Exactly. Everyone has a choice, Kale. Remember how we could have chosen to be no good thugs and delinquents?"
"... I remember, Captain."
Kale didn't like remembering those days, not so much for the memories themselves as much as they usually got sis- Captain Caulifla- worked up like she was getting now.
"But we chose, with some prodding from my dork of an older brother I'll admit, to join Sadala Army and become a part of something grander and more important than any dumb gang of meatheads could ever hope to accomplish on our own."
Caulifla grinned. "We became soliders, and eventually, Captain and Vice-Captain. Made that dumbass brother of mine eat his words then, didn't I Kale?"
As Caulifla laughed hard at the memory Kale merely held back the urge to shake her head.
All these years later and you still don't get that he basically tricked you with that whole 'There's no way that two girls like you could hack Basic.' Kale thought sourly. The retired Captain Renso had proven to be many things when Kale and Caulifla had served under him as privates but sexist was not one of them (unlike the late, non-existent Jeff). Any jabs at their gender Kale had immediately recognized as being a simple reverse mind game to inspire them to greater heights.
Caulifla, being who she was then (and now) took the bait hook, line, and sinker.
"The point is," Caulifla continued. "Is that these sorry excuses for Saiyans may have been nearly wiped out by this discount Lord Frost knock off but this "Vegeta" prick needs to be brought in and answer for both his crimes and the crimes of his people."
Caulifla flipped through a few papers and frowned after rereading one in particular. "As for this Goku or Carrotrot or whatever the hell he calls himself? Got no issues with him. He's too lacking in discipline and thinking through the consequences of his actions for my liking but if half of what I've read here is accurate, he's got a noble heart and he's saved this Earth of his more than enough times over to put him in my good graces."
"What about his son, Gohan?" Cabba asked with a slight frown of his own. "I'll admit, I'm still confused as to how someone can become the strongest in his universe at least twice and still screw up both times. You'd think that cost his father and a god their lives in the process of defeating this 'Cell' being, would have knocked some common sense in him the second time around."
"I'm surprised these Saiyans just let their enemies transform in front of them." Kale mused. "How they haven't gotten themselves killed permanently yet is beyond me."
"The son's powerful," Caulifla admitted. "And unlike his pops, seems to actually have a proper education. But, despite all of his fancy educatmication, lacks something you and I have in spades, Kale."
"... Breasts?"
It was a genuine statement from Kale, completely devoid of any innuendo that forced all of Cabba's discipline as a soldier kept his face straight as he held back the urge to laugh at Kale's earnest response.
"Common sense, Kale. Common sense."
"Oh." Kale blushed. "That was my second guess."
"And then there's this Three Eyed Tribe wannabe, Tien." Caulifla mused. "Didn't we fight some of his kind a year or so back, Kale? Or at least our universe's version of his kind?"
"We did." Kale frowned at the memory. "They weren't at our level in terms of strength, but they had quite the number of tricks and techniques that gave those bastard bandits an edge. Even my... other side wasn't enough to take them down even with her raw power..."
"I remember that fight." Cabba said, frowning at the memory. "They gave us quite the runaround before we were finally able to subdue them."
"Right." Caulifla nodded slowly before scowling slightly. "And we have no idea how strong this 'Tien' guy is until we see him in action. Said here he's trained with freaking gods and has all sorts of tricks up his sleeve in his own right. Well, his metaphorical sleeves, anyways if this picture of him is anything to go by. He does know what shirts are, right?"
"Has the information proven helpful?" Vados asked. "I should add that I've given similar folders to Hit and Frost."
"Keep us all up to speed on intel," Caulifla nodded in approval. "Thanks, Lady Vados, appreciate that."
"Ohho." Vados chuckled, her voice like a chiming of divine bells. "So, you can be polite."
"When people have earned my respect, yes, I can." Caulifla replied with a smirk. She looked at Cabba and Kale. "You two ready to get this show on the road?"
"Yes, Captain!" Both Kale and Cabba saluted in unison and Caulifla felt her heart swell with pride at her best friend and subordinate's military discipline.
"Then the last one alive, lock the door! Seriously, Cabba, make sure my office door is locked before we leave or I'm docking your pay."
"Y-yes Captain!"
With the door locked, Vados stomped the bottom end of her staff and the three Saiyans were whisked away to what they would soon find to be the greatest fight in their military careers.
So yeah. New Dragon Ball fic I finished drafting sometime last year. Finally decided to get off my ass and post it to . Another version of this is up on AO3 but this is the more (hopefully) definitive version. So, a few things to note:
1. The fanfic is finished, at least in terms of chapter and main writing. A few misc grammatical touch up and line additions will be added to the version but that's it.
2. The fic is just cover the U6 vs U7 tournament, scope wise. I'm already juggling two other book length Dragon Ball fics so I kept the scope of this one small and compressed on purpose.
3. I have some inklings of a sequel in the works, and some tentative ideas for future Arcs in Super, but that's all on the back burner.
4. I'll be taking a few creative liberties with Tien, power wise, but hopefully nothing too egregious for most folks (and if it is, well, sorry in advance, I guess).
5. Expect many, many TF2 quotes. Because TF2.
6. I might, might, do an omake or whatever its called of Caulifla and Kale's early days in the Army. Depends on inspiration, time allowing, irl stuff, that sort of thing.
7. No, I don't have plans for the bear or weird pesudo robot thing to make an appearance in the story or the sequel. There's a reason why I replaced them with Kale and Caulifla.
8. I hope to have words like 'Saiyans' and 'Namkian' at least consistently spelled for this fic but sorry if I screw up in places and feel free to point out my errors if you, the reader, happen to come across them.
9. Why make Caulifla and Kale soldiers? Honestly? Lotta fanart out there of Caulifla in Universe Seven Saiyan armor that I thought looked cool and it got me thinking on the lack of good Dragon Ball Super AU fics out there, compared to all the Z ones. The rest is history. Whether this counts as a 'good' DBS AU fic is the bigger question.
10. Since the fic is finished, I'll be uploading weekly/bi-weekly depending on how when things shake out irl wise.