Sighing to herself, she rested a weary hand on the door knob. She had intended to walk out onto the porch but the flood of memories made her pause. A mere 24 hours ago, she had stepped out into a magically romantic moment. The moonlit night, the soft breeze and her fingers a whisper away from a man, or at least the illusion of a man who filled her waking and sleeping hours with so many romantic wishes and dreams.
And today? Whatever it was she thought they shared, had dreamed they shared had disappeared faster than Tim Seagirt's van heading south down the coast road. Yanking the door open, she let the wind from the approaching storm blast around her, and stepped out into the gloom closing the big door solidly behind her. "Idiot," she muttered to herself, as she wrapped the jacket tighter around her as she headed out into the yard.
"Never, never again. . ." she hissed aloud, until the sound of the wind and waves made her voice swirl away into the mist. The subject of her monologue was entirely unaware of her solitary storm watch, as first he sat berating himself and then in frustration began to pace the attic, uncertain which was the greatest failure, his cowardice, his inability to declare himself once Seagirt's song, or rather Seagirt's performance of HIS song had ended or being unable to correct his course once he knew how badly wrong he had gone.
In the weeks, the months that followed that musical moment, she changed her habits, only sitting in the occupied 'public' rooms, so there was no opportunity for private conversations with the Captain. True, Martha began to wonder if the young widow was finally admitting to being lonely, as the two women were rarely out of each other's sight. Of course Martha didn't ask, and Carolyn didn't offer, so neither one commented on why articles were now being written in the parlor, instead of at the desk in the master cabin.
The children also noticed the change, and Jonathan attempted to find out why his two favorite people in his world no longer had quiet afternoon chats, why they never seemed to even spend time together any longer. In the midst of his confusion, one day surprisingly Candy began to casually talk about her own conversations with the Captain. It was never quite clear how the introduction had been made, but whatever the circumstances, Jonathan accepted it without concern, and Carolyn without a single word of comment.
They continued in this primarily silent, distant world throughout the summer. For a small time, as they spent vacation weeks back with her family, she seriously considered giving up the perfect writer's getaway she had found in Gull Cottage. Finally though, they returned with Carolyn's renewed promise to herself that she would make the reality of their 'live-in' ghost an onerous duty to be dealt with for the benefit of her children.
On a warm, early autumn afternoon, when the phone rang, she was glad of the interruption, and when she understood that, willing or not, she was now the hostess for the upcoming PTA meeting she almost welcomed the chance to show her total indifference and disregard for Captain Daniel Gregg during the inevitable argument to come. Had she been willing to admit it to herself, she was equally pleased to have an excuse to talk with him, but truthfully she had buried that impulse so deeply it would have taken more time than she would allow to realize the truth that was also buried in her heart.