Chapter 30:
"Jay, are you okay?" Emily asked, worried.
"It's just too much Emily!"
Emily thought her heart was going to stop. She knew she shouldn't have pushed JJ like she did. Why, oh, why did she have to bust her feelings out like that? She didn't know what to say or what to do.
"I understand, JJ." Emily finally whispered. She pulled her hand back from the blonde's and looked down, her eyes burning with tears.
"Emily?" JJ watched as the brunette quickly walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.
What did just happen? The blonde rose and moved to the bathroom door. She tried to open the door, but found it locked.
"Emily? Can you open the door? Please!" The only answer JJ got was the muffled sound of Emily quiet sobs.
"Emily, sweetie. Can you please open the door?" JJ sat down next to the door and spoke softly. What had happened to the brunette?
Emily pulled her knees to her chest and quietly sobbed. She'd been so stupid. She loved the woman for God sake, why couldn't she just have waited? No she had to push say those three words.
She heard JJ outside the door, and she wanted nothing more than to open the door and let JJ comfort her. But all of this were too much for JJ, and Emily didn't want to load this on her too.
"Emily, I need to talk to you, will you open the door?" Emily didn't answer, she just sat on the floor, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Emily, I love you dammit! Do NOT shut me out! Do you hear me? Don't you dare shut me out Emily Elizabeth Prentiss!"
Slowly Emily moved to the door and unlocked it. She turned her back to the door and sat back down on the floor. JJ entered the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the bathtub.
"Talk to me! Please don't push me away and hide behind your walls." said JJ softly.
"I'm sorry JJ. I shouldn't be like this." Emily still had her back to JJ, and tried to stop the tears.
"Be like what? Baby, talk to me! What got you so upset?" JJ moved to sit next to Emily, stroking her back. The brunette sniffed and turned her head to meet JJ's gaze.
"I'm just being insecure. You're the first person I've ever said "I love you" to, and when you said it back, I thought I was going to die of happiness." Emily smiled a little. JJ, still very confused, reached out and wiped away Emily's tears.
"But then you said "It's just too much", and I thought I'd pushed to hard, to fast. I thought that you weren't ready for us and that I'd pushed you away by saying "I love you", because it IS too fast! But at the same time it isn't. Because I love you, Jennifer. I love you so much that it hurts. And I can't lose you." Emily broke down and started to sob again.
JJ tried to comfort the brunette, but she had a hard time coming through too her. An idea popped into her head, and she reached for Emily's hand. She placed the hand on her chest, right above her heart, and placed her own hand over Emily's.
"I love you." The blonde whispered.
Feeling the strong heartbeat and the words of love coming from JJ, Emily eventually calmed down. The older woman straightened up and dried her tears.
"You hungry, Jay? Let's eat!" JJ decided not to push her girlfriend, and smiled. She got to her feet and helped the brunette up, before they walked into the living room area of their suite.
"So, what's this Norwegian treat?" Emily, happy that JJ didn't push further on her emotions, lead her to the table.
"Meatballs with potatoes and brown sauce. Just give me a minute and I'll reheat our food." Emily disappeared into the kitchen with the two plates.
When she returned JJ had opened a bottle of red wine and were sipping from her glass.
"Dinner is served, m'lady!" Emily placed one plate in front of the blonde and bowed dramatically. JJ chuckled and inhaled the scent of the food.
"This smells amazing! I didn't know you were such a good cook, Prentiss!"
"I swear you call me that to annoy me!" Emily rolled her eyes before putting down her own plate.
"Hello? My kiss?" JJ demanded. Rolling her eyes again, chuckling, Emily moved over to the blonde and captured her lips in a long kiss.
"How was that, Agent Jareau?" whispered Emily as she pulled back. "Now, let's eat before the food gets cold, again!" She gave the blonde a smile and walked around the small table.
When Emily sat down, JJ lifted her knife and fork and started to eat. While the blonde ate, Emily sat back and watched her girlfriend eat. There was something adorable about the way she tok a mouthful and raised it to her nose and inhaled the scent before guiding the fork into her mouth.
"You like?" Emily asked carefully when JJ'd finish chewing.
"Me like." JJ answered with a big smile, "now eat your dinner Agent Prentiss!"
The two of them engaged in light conversations while eating dinner. Due the jet lag, they decided to go to bed after dinner. They snuggled close under the comforter; JJ in Emily's arms, the way they had slept since Emily'd moved in with JJ.
"Em?"
"Yes, love?"
"Will you please tell me why you were so upset earlier?" JJ asked softly.