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Several hours later, Gaius was watching Merlin inhale a very late breakfast. Merlin was feeling fairly normal again, although he had a nagging sense of unease about some yawning gaps in his memory. He remembered being vaguely aware of sending Kilgharrah flying across the field, then some sort of conversation with Arthur, Lancelot and Gwaine, but then ... a blank. And he couldn't actually remember the finer details – any details to be truthful - of how he'd returned to Camelot.

It was a little troubling.

Gaius wanted answers. "You had a fight with the dragon? And Arthur knows of your magic? What on earth possessed you?"

Merlin came out of his trance. "We weren't fighting, Gaius. Kilgharrah was letting me practice my defensive magic on him." He cut a slice of cheese and popped it into his mouth.

"You practised defensive magic with the dragon? It's fortunate he didn't hurt you!"

"He wouldn't harm me, Gaius, not seriously."

Gaius asked gravely, "And what of Arthur, Gwaine and Lancelot? They all know of your magic now?"

Merlin nodded, looking down at his plate.

"Any others?"

"No. But Lancelot has known for a year or two. Gwaine ... I think he said he discovered it the day we met, and Arthur, um, Arthur just found out."

"But Merlin, I thought you were never to tell him! Magic is outlawed in this kingdom, and he is the prince and Regent. Uther is still King even if he is not ruling at present. You know what that means!"

At this reminder, Merlin's unease about those blanks deepened. Arthur was not going to be happy with him. He could be planning his banishment, or worse, right now. "I know, Gaius. But I didn't have a choice. I met Kilgharrah in the clearing south of Camelot. He knew the three of them were watching us from the trees but he didn't tell me. He said it was foretold they'd all find out now. Gwaine will be fine with it, probably a little too fine with it, he said he knew anyway. Arthur ... I don't know."

A shadow crossed his face. "I cannot remember what happened, once I knew they were there. It's a bit hazy. Arthur ... I do not know what he thinks. But it won't be good."

He didn't say so, but he was sure it was the worst time possible for Arthur to discover this secret, given that it came so soon after he'd found out about Morgana's betrayal and her magic. Merlin's betrayal, for that was what it was, would not be any easier for Arthur to deal with. Dislike and anger were about the best emotions he could hope for from Arthur now. Merlin's stomach churned, his appetite vanished. He put down the knife very carefully before Gaius noticed his hands were trembling.

Gaius poured them both a cup of water. "Arthur didn't say much earlier, he was very subdued, which is not like him at all. He may not be sure of his own opinion about it yet. You must be careful."

Merlin looked away but was saved from any further discussion by a knock on the door. Lancelot stuck his head in the room. A nod to Gaius. "Good, you're awake Merlin. Arthur wants to see you as soon as you're ready."

Lancelot was waiting for him, leaning against the wall outside Arthur's chambers. He gave Merlin a sympathetic look but didn't speak. Merlin took a deep breath at the door, then barged in without knocking. He hoped he didn't look as nervous as he felt, but there was a sick feeling in his gut and his palms were sweaty. This was it, his moment of truth, when destiny and reality would collide. The outcome, he feared, would not be to his liking.

Arthur rose from behind his desk, pushing back his chair and dropping the parchment he'd been holding. "Gwaine, leave us now. I'll send someone to find you later."

Gwaine was reluctant to go. "I'll make this clear, princess. I'll be seeing Merlin later, and if he's not happy, then I'm not happy. And if I'm not happy, the only thing that will make me a little happier again is to beat you to a pulp several times over. Lancelot might be feeling a bit sorry for himself after last night, but he'll still side with me on this one."

Arthur just gave him a speaking glance. "Gwaine, please."

A dark stare at Arthur. "I'll be waiting outside with Lancelot if you need us, Merlin."

"Uh, thanks." Merlin made a show of watching Gwaine leave, but once the door had closed, he risked a quick look Arthur's way.

Inscrutable, Arthur gestured at the chairs near the fireplace. "Sit down, Merlin, please."

Merlin found he couldn't co-operate with his own downfall. "I'd rather stand." Realising he was still hovering near the doorway, he made his way awkwardly to the window, staring out and seeing nothing, waiting for the axe to fall. Arthur leaned back against the edge of his desk, watching.

Arthur's voice was quiet, concerned. "Merlin, are you alright?"

Merlin was startled, he turned around. Shrugging, he said, "Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"

"The uh, magical effort earlier. After it you were pretty dazed. No side-effects?"

Merlin crossed his arms, his back against the window ledge, examining the tips of his boots like he'd never seen them before. "No Arthur, I'm fine." An edge crept into his voice. "Completely recovered. Magical abilities back to normal again."

Arthur nodded, and walked over to where Merlin stood. Merlin tried not to flinch.

"Merlin ..."

Trying to suppress an inexplicable surge of hostility, Merlin interrupted curtly, "What is it you want to know? What am I meant to say? I can't help what I am, and I'm not going to apologise for it." He wanted Arthur's fury, he deserved the prince's wrath, he needed Arthur to get the yelling and the accusations over and done with, so he'd be able to scurry off and nurse his wounds in private.

Arthur tried again. "Merlin, please." He took a step closer. "It's going to be alright. We'll work this out together."

Anger and some other undefinable emotion always so close to the surface lately, flared. "There's nothing to work out! I have magic, there's nothing you can do about it, I can't just switch it off and not use it, magic is what I am! And you ... you don't approve of my magic, of me, I'm sure you're –" he threw his hands in the air "- angry because I didn't tell you, I bet you think I'm a monster, and maybe that's what I am!"

He glowered into Arthur's unwavering gaze. "I am a monster, you know why Arthur? To save Camelot, and you, I'm going to have to get rid of Morgana. I almost killed her once, no, twice actually, and I'm going to have to really do it this time. And I will do it, I will, what other option do I have? I am a monster! You should fear me!"

"Merlin." Arthur took another step, and gripped his shoulder. Merlin recoiled at the touch, his back pressed up against the wall. "You're not a monster. I'm not afraid of you. I know you."

"How can you say you know me, when you didn't know I had magic? How can you? Why are you so calm about this? Don't tell me you're not shocked, I know you had no idea!"

Arthur didn't flinch, didn't move his hand away. "Your magic was a shock. And I can't promise you I'm not a little angry because you didn't tell me. And I'm ... hurt, that you did not want to tell me of your own accord. Why is it that you trust Lancelot and Gwaine, but not me? What do you think I'm going to do with this knowledge, Merlin?"

"I'm not giving you guidelines, Arthur! There's no book for this. You followed me. You deal with it. I didn't want you to know." Part of Merlin was perfectly aware that attack was not always the best form of defence, but he couldn't seem to stop himself.

Arthur's mouth compressed. "Why? Why didn't you want me to know?"

"Because you'll treat me differently. You already are. You look at me now, you wonder what I am capable of. Who I will harm. What power I will take for my own. You look at me and see Morgana, Morgause, Nimueh – oh, I killed her, by the way! You see every embodiment of evil. You don't see me, any more."

"Don't put words in my mouth!" Arthur's voice rose and he took a step closer, he had two hands on Merlin's shoulders now. He was too close. "Before you entered this room you'd already given up on me! You decided for yourself how I'd react, what I'd do! You're running scared, but you have more courage than that!"

Merlin glared at him for a moment, then turned his head away. "Why are you behaving like I'm the one in shock? Was this not a big surprise for you?" He need Arthur's anger, he could deal with that. He didn't want his disappointment and hurt at Merlin's betrayal, he had no defence for it and was horribly afraid he'd break down.

Arthur said, as if he was trying to calm a skittish horse, "Yes. It was. Now look at me, look at me, Merlin." He waited until Merlin unwillingly met his gaze. "But this is a bigger shock for you. I'll bet you've worried over my reaction to your magic for God knows how long."

And every scenario he played through his mind always ended the same: badly. Merlin ran a hand through his hair and tried to escape Arthur's grip, but Arthur wouldn't let him.

"I may have been blind to your magic, yet part of it makes perfect sense. There was always something about you ... Why couldn't you trust me with the truth, Merlin?"

A snort. "It takes two to recognise truth, one to speak and the other to hear. There was never a time that you wanted to hear."

"That's hardly fair."

"Is it? When have you ever given any indication that you could be receptive to the use of magic? Only a few months ago you were going to have that old sorcerer executed because you caught him placing a poultice under your pillow! What harm had been done by that? What evil had been committed? None! You knew what your feelings for Gwen were, you knew you weren't enchanted, you knew he'd done nothing, but you were prepared to sacrifice an innocent life!"

"What? I'm not following you. Merlin, you knew this sorcerer?"

"It was me, Arthur, me!"

Arthur was shocked. "But ...?"

"I took an aging potion. I'd been watching Morgana for months by then, and when I visited Gwen in the dungeons she told me Morgana was pleased when she was dragged away when Uther sentenced her to death. Gwen was already suspicious of her; she'd seen Morgana using magic. So I guessed Morgana planted the first poultice with the intention of making Uther think Gwen was a sorcerer who'd enchanted you."

Arthur frowned. "But if you're saying Morgana planted the poultice ...?"

Merlin continued in a quieter tone. "She planted the first one. I thought that if I gave Uther a sorcerer, then Gwen would be freed, so I let you see me planting the second poultice. I hadn't planned on letting you capture me, but the enchantment was too strong and I couldn't shake it, I hadn't made one before. I couldn't control my magic properly in that form, the longer I stayed in it the more difficult it was, it felt strange, I couldn't escape, not without the risk that I'd blow up the entire dungeons and kill the guards when all I'd meant to do was to unlock the cell." Merlin looked away. "It took Gaius all night to make an antidote and he got it to me just in time."

"I'm sorry. I am. I didn't know it was you."

"It doesn't matter that it was me, Arthur, don't you see? It was you hating magic!"

"No, that's not true! It wasn't about magic for me, it was only about Gwen. I couldn't bear it, if I lost her, Merlin. You know how I feel about her. When the sorcerer confessed, I jumped at the chance to save her, my only chance. I wanted to talk to you but I couldn't work out why you'd disappeared when we needed you. I was ... afraid, I didn't know what to do."

Merlin broke out of Arthur's grip and slid down against the wall, sitting on the ground, knees against his chest, head in his hands, turning away from Arthur. "Please. Just let me do what has to be done but leave me alone. I won't leave Camelot because you are totally defenceless against magical threats without me – you have no idea how many times I've saved you – but just leave me alone and let me get on with it by myself."

Arthur sat down beside him. "I can't do that, Merlin."

"Because you don't trust me?"

"No, it's because I do trust you. I trust you to do the best for Camelot and I trust you with my life. I have for a long time and that hasn't changed. You earned my trust long ago. Now I need to earn yours."

Merlin was silent. Slightly self-consciously, Arthur draped an arm around Merlin's shoulders in an awkward hug. Arthur had not grown up in a family that showed affection and he wasn't entirely easy with the gesture, but he knew Merlin needed to understand that despite his fears, there was always going to be this bond between the two of them, and maybe Arthur needed to feel it too.

He said to Merlin, "What I was trying to say, a while ago, and not all that well, is that I know you in essentials. I didn't know about your magic, it changes everything and nothing. Everything because you're a bloody sorcerer and you have abilities I cannot guess at, and yet it changes nothing at all because I know you, I know your compassion and empathy for others, your loyalty, your integrity, your kindness. I'm not letting you back away from me, Merlin."

Arthur felt a tremor run through Merlin's shoulders. He held on, tight. "I ... uh, may not have mentioned this before, but I consider you to be my best friend. And I hope you can ... uh, forgive me, for not being the sort of friend you thought you could trust with the truth of your magic. I was a prat, you've told me often enough. I'm sorry you had to do so much of this alone, more sorry than you can know. Stay with me on this, huh?"

Merlin looked over and finally met his gaze. His eyes were suspiciously bright. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I can't keep it together, I'm all over the place."

"Then listen to what your dragon said. He said your burdens are to share, and my strength is yours. Your truth is not your downfall, it will be what saves us all."

An attempt at a smile. "I never thought I'd hear the day when you were quoting those words back to me, Arthur."

"You have given me a lot to think about. And I will ask something of you, too."

Merlin couldn't help but feel apprehensive. "Uh, what?"

"You must tell me when you're threatened, when there's a magical puzzle to be worked out, when you need my help. You must come to me if you are suspicious of someone's actions, don't assume I won't believe you. I've learnt my lesson, no thanks to Morgana. Stop keeping things to yourself. I can't promise I'll always agree with you, we'll argue a lot, sometimes I'll over-rule you, then you'll ignore me, nothing new there. We'll fight, it'll happen, but it doesn't change anything. Try and trust me, please, just give me this chance."

Merlin finally nodded. "Yes." He swallowed and cleared his throat. "I do trust you, Arthur. I suppose I was a little afraid that you'd ... uh, hate me, because of the magic, and because I'd kept it from you. But I couldn't tell you, at first, and the secret got bigger and I just didn't know how I ever could. And I didn't think you'd be so ... uh, receptive."

Arthur said dryly, "Only a little afraid, Merlin?"

"Well ..." Merlin squirmed uncomfortably.

"You idiot." Arthur dropped his arm away and leaned up against the wall beside him. "I could not have predicted my own behaviour. But there's something about it all that seems right. It's like a puzzle piece has finally slotted into place. Your magic feels so obvious, like I've always known."

"You should have, the bridge keeper had to have told you magic was on its way on the quest I didn't come on, not to mention all the other times you should have been suspicious. I was beginning to wonder if you were a bit thick!"

"Hey!" Arthur dug him in the side with an elbow.

Merlin subsided. "I suppose I should have listened to Kilgharrah. He's been telling me for ages that destiny will manage things, I didn't believe him though."

"Mmm."

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, then Arthur said, "I liked Gwaine's idea."

Merlin didn't have to look at him to know he was smiling. "What idea?"

"Taking you away from habitation and getting you drunk." The smile cranked up a notch. "Your dragon told us your overuse of magic last night would make you behave like you were intoxicated, so we now have a bit of an idea what a drunk warlock is like." Arthur looked across at him. "You were fascinating, last night, Merlin."

"Err ... what? I was?"

"You don't remember, the daffodils, trying to float up into the air, and prattling on about birds?"

"Um ... no?"

"What about humming?"

"What's wrong with humming?" Merlin was a little indignant.

"Nothing, except you were doing it in a chorus, using several different voices at the same time." Arthur paused for maximum effect. "Including a very girlish soprano."

Merlin groaned. "I didn't. I wouldn't!"

Arthur nodded decidedly. "Yes, you would. You did."

Merlin winced and covered his face. "No. No!"

They sat in comfortable silence for a while longer, then Arthur smiled to himself and poked Merlin in the ribs again. "I think we should tell the others about you."

"Um ..." Merlin sighed, he'd expected this eventually but hoped it wouldn't be quite so soon. "Who, exactly?"

"Gwen. Those we trust – Elyan, Percival, Leon."

"Yes to Gwen. But not the others, not yet."

"Why not?"

Merlin pushed himself off the wall, twisting around so he could face Arthur. "No, it's just ... Look, I've had to keep my magic secret for as long as I can remember. Don't expect that I can suddenly be so open about something that I've had to keep hidden all my life." Distracted, he ran a hand through his hair. "Gwen, yes, I've wanted to tell Gwen for a long time, I've always thought if anyone could accept me for who I am, it would be her. So yes, tell Gwen."

Arthur tried not to look hurt by his omission of unquestioning acceptance, but Merlin saw and shrugged.

"I'm being honest with you Arthur, and I won't apologise for that. Gwen cares about others, her heart is pure. She'll stand up for what is right, and she is kind. I never thought she'd hate me for my magic, fear me possibly at first, fear for me too, but I always thought in the end, she would still be my friend."

"In a way she's a lot like you."

"She is?" Merlin considered it. "As long as you're not calling me a girl – then thanks. I don't mind if she knows, because she's my friend, but also because I don't want the secret of my magic to ever come between the two of you. It's too big a thing for you to hide from her, if you love her then you need to be able to be honest with each other, always. She needs to know."

Arthur looked at him curiously. "Words of wisdom?"

Merlin shrugged. "If you want to take them that way."

"So you'll tell her?"

"No, not me. You, please. But keep it simple, don't mention Kilgharrah, just the magic."

"Why not tell her about the dragon?"

"Arthur, please!" Merlin groaned. He stood up and Arthur followed suit. "Don't make it bigger than it has to be, please just leave the whole dragonlord thing out of it for now! You have to let me get used to the idea of you knowing about all this before we bring others into it! Lancelot has known for ages, but he wasn't at Camelot until now, either was Gwaine! It will be different, seeing them every day. It creates expectation, you'll be the same! What are you going to do, next time we're out in the forest and we get attacked? Are you going to fight back, or leave it to me?"

"I hadn't thought about it!"

"Well I have! You have no idea how simple that would be for me, I could disarm fifty bandits in the blink of an eye before you could swing your sword, it's just too easy! But I can be caught off guard as easily as anyone else, I can't concentrate and watch everywhere all the time, I'll make mistakes. I want you all to behave normally around me, and if everyone knows about the magic you won't!"

"Sometimes Merlin, you think too much."

"Well someone has to! And Gwaine knowing, he's a great friend, but he's going to be forever asking me to do stupid tricks with the magic, and I can't! Don't you see, my risk of discovery increases with the more who know about me! Uther can never know about me, never! You really don't know about this destiny we share, not yet. And you don't know much about my magic and what I can and cannot do. I don't even really know what I'm capable of, I don't get many chances to experiment. There's a lot I must do, and I am not powerful enough yet, I'm still learning! I cannot risk coming to the notice of those who are evil with great power if I don't need to, to risk unnecessary injury or death would be foolish! Arthur, my magic has always been private, and I'm not ready for it to be out in the open. It's not meant to be like that yet. And I do not want you to tell anyone about Kilgharrah, I'm begging you Arthur, please don't."

"Very well, I'm listening! Don't get yourself too worked up!" He looked at Merlin. "Will you tell me about this destiny that we're meant to share? You mentioned it again then, and I heard you talking about it with the dragon too."

Merlin hesitated. "Not yet. I'm not ready to talk about it, and you're not ready to hear it."

Arthur frowned but Merlin said, "No, I don't mean it that way, you know I don't. I just ... just one thing at a time, huh? Just not yet. I need to discuss ... stuff ... with Kilgharrah first. Don't rush me on this."

"Alright. But I'd like to rush you on Gwen. Can I call her, now?"

"Yes, I'll see you later then."

"No! You should be here."

"Don't you want some time together ... alone ... first?"

"Merlin!"

"Arthur!" Merlin mimicked his tone and Arthur frowned but without real intent.

"I'm sure Lancelot and Gwaine are still outside the door waiting to see if I've killed you. I'll send one of them to find her."

Merlin shrugged. "If you're sure I need to be here ...?"

"Are you afraid of her reaction?"

"No! Well, maybe, just a little."

Arthur opened the door and stuck his head out, almost head butting Gwaine. Gwaine glared. "Well?"

"He's fine. We're fine. Go find Gwen, would you?" Arthur shut the door in his face and leaned back against it, allowing himself a small smile.

Merlin saw. "Tell me, did you do that on purpose, or does it just come naturally?"

"I'm sure you can answer that yourself, Merlin."

"He'll beat you up!"

"As if!"

Merlin smiled to himself and wondered what Arthur would say if he told him he could beat them both without even raising a hand. But he didn't say anything, it was too soon to push those sorts of boundaries, too soon for both of them.

Gwen arrived fairly quickly. "Merlin!" He was standing near Arthur, she shut the door behind her and gave him a pat on the arm. "Are you alright?"

Merlin was puzzled. "Uh ... yes? Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well," Gwen and Arthur exchanged glances. "You haven't exactly been your usual self since the battle. We were wondering if there was something wrong?"

"Oh." Merlin was a bit sheepish. "Yes. That." He looked to Arthur for assistance, but when Arthur just looked back neutrally and rather unhelpfully, he said pointedly, "Arthur wants to talk with you."

Gwen smiled at him and turned to Arthur, who gave her a quick kiss. Merlin was getting used to that sort of behaviour from the two of them, he hardly noticed it anymore.

"What is it, Arthur?"

Merlin wandered across the room. Arthur looked over at him and Gwen followed his gaze. Merlin smiled nervously and crossed his arms.

Arthur took pity on him. Glancing across at Merlin, he took both of Gwen's hands in his. "Gwen, I'm going to say this straight." He took a deep breath, and looked into her eyes. "Merlin has magic."

Silence. Gwen looked from one to the other, Merlin could tell she wasn't sure if they were serious, or whether there was a punch line coming.

Merlin turned back. He knew what he was going to do. Unsmilingly, he walked towards them. "Gwen?" He stopped in front of her, and held out his hand, palm up, and whispered a single word. His eyes glowed and Merlin heard Gwen give a soft gasp of surprise, but he didn't look at her, concentrating on the image building on his palm. Thousands of tiny specks of gold, the same colour as his eyes, were swirling on his palm in a crazy dance, as they all watched a form slowly took shape; it was a single gold rose. Merlin whispered another word, the stem deepened to green, the bud slowly unfurled into a rich, pure, yellow, the colour of the sun. Another word and the subtle scent of the flower's perfume floated through the air.

Merlin's eyes faded back to blue, he offered the rose to her. "Gwen?"

Slowly, wordlessly, she took it from him, fingering the stem of the rose absently. He looked at her hesitantly, not sure how she was taking it. "Uh, Gwen?"

She flung herself at him, her arms going around his neck. "Oh Merlin!" He patted her on the back, relieved, and glanced across to Arthur who didn't seem to mind that he was holding Gwen in his arms.

"So you don't mind, then, about the magic?"

"Of course not, Merlin, you're my friend. I'm glad Arthur knows, though." She smiled at him and released her hold, taking a step back so she could see his face. "Besides, when we first met you told me you were in disguise and now I know why."

Merlin smiled a little foolishly. "It doesn't scare you? You don't think I'm evil, because of it?"

Arthur gave a snort of exasperation and clapped him on the back even as Gwen shook her head. Merlin looked at him, suddenly overwhelmed by a huge wave of relief and happiness. They knew about his magic, and they still liked him, they weren't scared or repelled, they were still his friends. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought acceptance would be so easy. His eyes stung, he was beyond grateful, his breathing quickened, the feeling choked him. Arthur was watching his face carefully, he understood.

Quietly, to both of them, Merlin stuttered out a simple, "Thanks."

Thanks again for reading! :)