"Merlin?"

The voice was annoying and familiar. He ignored it.

"Merlin!" This time he felt the bed dip beside him and a hand smack his shoulder.

He mumbled something rude under his breath, and groaned and rolled over, burying his face in the coverlet and tucking an arm over his face. Why wouldn't Gaius let him sleep? He was so comfortable. His bed was very large, unusually so. Soft too. What was – he sat bolt upright in horror.

"Arthur!" His eyes widened. "Gwen!"

Gwen was amused, Arthur looked exasperated. The prince gave him another thump, this time on his chest, then pushed himself back off the bed and stood up beside Gwen, folding his arms. Uh oh, Merlin knew that face, he might possibly be in a little bit of trouble.

Arthur asked, "What happened?"

"Ah. Um. I ... fell asleep?" He tried to make it seem perfectly natural, rubbing a hand up and down the side of his face in an effort to wake up properly, and suppressing an urge to yawn. He hoped he hadn't been drooling, no, he was safe, if he had then Arthur would've said something. He inched to the edge of the bed and would have moved away, but they were both standing in his way in front of him.

Arthur sighed, the sigh he saved just for Merlin that said here-we-go-again. "Merlin. It's late. We've been looking for you for hours. What happened with Morgana? Did she hurt you?

Merlin was incredulous. "No, of course not. I took her into my time, carried her back out where she'd come in, scared the living daylights out of her, threatened her, then told her not to come back and let her go."

"You carried her?"

Merlin supposed that was better than Arthur focusing on the scaring bit. "Well, she kept falling over! She couldn't walk. You've been in that with me Arthur, I made it a thousand times worse for her!"

"How on earth could you carry her?"

Merlin was annoyed. "I do have some upper body strength, thanks! And ... oh ... remember? I have magic! I've carried you plenty of times!"

"Very well. But that doesn't explain what you're doing asleep on my bed?"

Gwen was giggling helplessly. Merlin shot her a reproachful look and turned back to Arthur.

"I teleported back in. You saw how it worked last time. I sat down to recover ... and I guess I fell asleep." He tried for sympathy and looked at Gwen innocently. "I hit my knee really hard, and I hurt my head again, it's probably bruised." Actually they were both pretty much fine now but there was no need to mention that.

Gwen was instantly concerned. "Where, Merlin?" He showed her the bump on his head and studiously avoided looking Arthur's way. "You poor thing! What is teleporting, anyway?"

Arthur answered for him. "Disappearing in one place, instantly reappearing in another. Merlin's not too good at the landings yet, though." He reached down and grabbed onto Merlin's elbow, hauling him to his feet, disrupting Gwen's examination. "Come on, everyone's been looking for you. We were worried that something had gone wrong."

Merlin sighed. "But was Gaius concerned?"

Arthur frowned. "Well, now that you mention it, no, he wasn't."

"Well there you go! If Gaius is not worried, follow his lead! He's known of my magic since the day I arrived at Camelot, and just lets me get on with it, he certainly doesn't fuss over me when I'm off saving your royal backside yet again, or gone to slay -" he fumbled to remember the name of a suitable mythical beast that had attacked them recently.

Arthur interrupted, smiling nicely. "A dragon?"

"No! Yes! Whatever!" He glared, irritated. "You know what I mean. You keep thinking I'm helpless, and I'm not, it's annoying!"

Gwen interrupted their tête·-à-tête. "If you two are finished behaving like children, then we need to get word to the others that Merlin has been found, and is safe." She gave him a reproving look and he squirmed uncomfortably. "Merlin, when you didn't come back we were worried. We're your friends, that's what friends do. They care. You should have seen Arthur, he was frantic!"

Arthur shifted from one foot to the other. "I wouldn't say frantic, not at all. It was more that I was being ... mindful ... for Merlin's safety, as I would be for anyone in a similar situation."

Gwen wasn't letting it go. "You were frantic, Arthur! You were beside yourself, the worst of us all! Leon and Percival had to practically sit on you to stop you tearing off recklessly to find him. Not that any of us even knew where to start looking." Merlin blinked at her, then his mouth twitched as he glanced at Arthur. Gwen continued, "I'll leave you two to your squabbles, I'll find the knights and let them know Merlin is alright."

Arthur frowned again as Gwen left the room, but he wasn't frowning at her. He said to Merlin. "You've been gone for nearly four hours. How long exactly, were you off with Morgana?"

"Oh ... ten minutes, fifteen at tops!"

"Please don't tell me you've been asleep on my bed since then!"

Merlin was silent.

"Well? What have you got to say for yourself?"

"You said not to tell you!"

Arthur gave a huff of exasperation. He thought of something else. "Gwaine told me something ... intriguing."

Merlin's eyes narrowed at his tone, it was both accusing and incredulous. "What?"

Arthur was blunt. "He thinks Morgana almost ... kissed you, at one point."

Trust Gwaine to have noticed that, Merlin hoped he was the only one that did. "She did not! And what would Gwaine know, anyway?"

"A lot about women, according to him!"

"Well, if he thinks he's my friend he'd better get to know me better. There's no love lost between me and Morgana. There was certainly no kiss, and there'll never be one. And he knows nothing about magic. It was just her reaction to the magic, I let her sense mine, that was all. It surprised her."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He was sure her reaction was because her magic had sensed his, and known it. Merlin stood up abruptly. "I have to find Gaius."

Arthur was alert instantly. "Why?"

"Something I need to discuss with him. Magic. Something odd." He was reaching for the door as he spoke, surprised to see Arthur following him. "Do you know where he is?"

Arthur followed him when he opened the door. "He was going back to his chambers, but that was a few hours ago."

Merlin took a few steps down the corridor before he realised Arthur was following him. "You don't need to come, Arthur. This is something I need to discuss with Gaius."

"I want to be involved, I told you so, remember?"

Merlin hesitated, mindful of a guard down the end of the corridor. He said quietly, "Arthur, you need to trust me with the magic stuff, okay? Leave it with me, my job is the magic, yours is to rule. I need to discuss something with Gaius, that's what I usually do. I rely on his knowledge a lot. I'll talk about it with you later." He thought of something. "And I've got to go down to the vaults, I need to have a look again at that book the goblin planted on me."

"Well, I'd better come with you then."

"Why?"

"I'm the only one that has the keys to the vaults, Merlin!"

Merlin smiled, amused. "You don't seriously think I need keys to get into the vaults, do you? I go down there all the time!"

"You do?"

"Yes!" Merlin suddenly realised Arthur was looking a little out of sorts. "Arthur, your security is good enough for anyone without magic. But it was useless for anyone with a bit of magical ability, I had a look in there a few months after I first came to Camelot, it was simple to get in and my magic was much less developed back then. But no need to worry now, a while back ago I put an enchantment on it so no one else except me can get in through magical means."

Merlin was so pleased with himself, that Arthur couldn't help a small smile. He gave him a friendly whack on the back. "Alright. Off you go then."

The book was helpful, in a way. It was evening now, and dark in the depths of the castle. Merlin sat alone in the vaults, he'd found a huge old padded throne in there during one of his previous visits that he'd dragged into an out of the way nook. The red fabric on the chair was moth eaten in places but the padding was mostly intact so it was still comfortable to sit on. The throne was beside a carved wooden statue as tall as a man, the statue was of a huge lion holding a shield marked with the Pendragon crest.

The Fisher King's trident lay on the floor beside him. It had been leaning against the wall beside the throne originally, but he'd knocked it over almost every time he came in so now he left it on the floor and didn't bother to pick it up.

He'd locked the door behind him, and was deep enough in the vaults that the guards wouldn't see the light he'd conjured even if they walked directly past the door.

It was cold underground, so he fiddled with the magic on the light until it glowed with a warm heat. Finally satisfied, he twisted sideways on the throne and hooked a leg over one of the armrests. The book was hundreds of pages long, much longer than his spell book. He'd thought previously about keeping it in his room so he could glance through it whenever he had time but it was too big to fit under the loose floorboard with the other paraphernalia he had stuck in there.

He flicked through the book, he knew what he was after, but it was difficult not to be distracted by all the other interesting magic it contained. He really should enlarge the space under the floorboards, the book was fascinating and he hadn't had a chance to read it in months.

Ah, there. That was what he was after. He bought the light closer, turning down its heat, and read carefully. Pleased, he nodded to himself and snapped the book shut. He had to find Gaius.

Gaius wasn't back again yet, but he'd been here at some point, since there was a pot of stew cooling on the corner of the table. Merlin was to keyed up to eat, he paced up and down the floor of the room he shared with the physician impatiently, moving across the wooden floorboards in long, quick strides. It could work, it might, should he try it? After all, what did they have to lose? He really needed to talk with Gaius.

The door opened, Merlin stopped his pacing, and Arthur and Gaius walked in. Merlin was tense, he knew they both read it from the way their gazes honed in on him. He couldn't wait, they were barely in the room before his eyes flashed gold and the door slammed behind them, the lock clicking.

Arthur jumped, Merlin paid him no heed, the prince would have to get used to this eventually. He ignored the reproving glance from Gaius and said to him in a low voice, "Gaius, she has my magic inside her, Morgana does. She doesn't know it, she has no control over it, but it's there."

Gaius shook his head. "What do you mean, Merlin?"

"When I healed her, when she was dying from the fall, the enchantment I made Kilgharrah give me to heal her head injury. It's still there, Gaius. It hasn't gone, it's keeping her alive."

"It shouldn't work that way, Merlin. Your magic should have healed her and faded away within hours, and certainly once her wound had healed."

"But it didn't, it hasn't, it healed her, but it's still there. She doesn't know. She can't command it."

Arthur interrupted. "This is unusual?"

Merlin glanced at him. "Yes. But Gaius, what does this mean? She can't control my magic, inside her, but I can, I know it, I felt it, when I bound her magic to mine in the Throne Room."

"You're not thinking you can control her through this link, are you? Such an idea would be fraught with danger, even for you." Gaius was very uneasy at the direction this conversation was heading. "You may end up privy to her thoughts and emotions, you may not be able to stop hearing them inside your own head. I hardly need tell you that wouldn't be good."

Merlin stopped pacing. He bent his head and leaned over the table, resting his weight on his knuckles. "Yes, I know, but not that. I don't want to control her, but I could do it, Gaius, but not that, no. I'm looking for an option."

He turned to Arthur, rubbing his forehead. "I want another option. I've killed many to protect you and Camelot, I don't like to Arthur, but I will do it if there's no other way. But I don't want to kill her. I told you I poisoned her long ago, and I shouldn't never have done that, but to save you all I had to, I didn't know what else to do. But I wonder ..."

He turned to Gaius. "You cautioned me never to reveal my magic to her. But what if I had, what if she'd turned to me instead of Morgause? I never gave her that option, I all but pushed her away. What if I was wrong? I should have saved her."

"If she'd known about your magic you would have eventually ended up on the pyre, Merlin." Arthur flinched at these words, and Gaius continued, "You're not responsible for the choices she's made."

"But I am responsible for limiting the choices she had. I betrayed her, I damn well poisoned her, when she'd done nothing wrong, she trusted me, she thought I was her friend and instead I tried to kill her. What does that make me?"

He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't like her any more. I think I hate her, for what she has done. But I still ... care about what happens to her, I can't help it. Even if she has killed so many innocents." He remembered what had happened when he'd released Kilgharrah, and added in a near whisper. "But so too, have I. I'm no better."

Arthur heard. "What do you mean?" Merlin shook his head and turned away. Arthur pressed. "Merlin?"

Gaius's concern and unease was increasing. Merlin couldn't look at Arthur. He said quietly, "I was responsible for Kilgharrah attacking Camelot. I released him."

Arthur was silent for a long moment. "I know." Merlin and Gaius stared at him with varying degrees of apprehension and confusion. "I guessed you'd released him Merlin, just a few days ago, after I realised you were a dragonlord. But you weren't responsible for his rage, it wasn't you who'd imprisoned him."

Merlin didn't know what to say. Sometimes he just didn't understand Arthur, the prince should be raging at him for that. He turned away to hide the sheen of tears in his eyes. Arthur walked across to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Look. It's alright. I'm not going to turn against you for everything that may have turned out wrong in the past. It's done now, it can't be changed, and I'm sure you've beaten yourself up enough without me adding to it. You've got to stop thinking the worst of me. Trust me, huh?"

Arthur squeezed his shoulder, Merlin nodded, so he stepped back, glancing across at Gaius. He saw the older man's anxiety was easing, Arthur sat down on the long bench beside the table and waited patiently for Merlin to turn around.

He did, he walked across to his room and sat down heavily on the steps, leaning his head against the wall. He said quietly, "My magic, inside her, is healing magic. I can give away my control of it, and mix with hers. It will change her. I don't know how much, but having something good inside her may give her more peace. It's very strong magic, it's a mix of mine, as well as the ancient beginnings of the old religion."

Gaius was still very uncertain. "If you do that, you may only increase her power, and relinquish any control you think you may have over her. You may make her grow more powerful, Merlin."

"It's healing magic, Gaius . That's its sole purpose, it won't work for anything else. There is no evil in healing. I believe it may help her back on the path of good, she feel good about herself, when she uses it to save a life. It may be the making of her."

Arthur was fascinated by their interaction. It seemed he discovered more and more about Merlin each day.

Gaius was speaking again, "Merlin, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, when I say your abilities with healing magic are ... even for someone of your great power ... extremely poor. The magic may be healing her but if she's relying on your abilities to utilise it later ... well, you don't have much aptitude for that type of magic."

Merlin smiled, sitting up straighter on the steps and resting his hands across his knees. "I know, I'm aware of my limitations. But she won't be drawing on my skills, but the magic itself. I know I can help her. It will work differently in her, I know it. I read about it again, when I went down to the vaults, there was something about it in the text the goblin found. It'll work. This is a possibility only because she was mortally wounded and I healed her using very ancient magic from Kilgharrah, that sort of power isn't known today."

Gaius said, "I'll concede there would be few, if any others, who could have wielded that magic. But are you sure?"

Merlin stood up, leaning back against the wall. He said evenly, "I can mix it, she can't, but it won't work unless she's willing to let me, the mix will fail if she resists."

"Why would she be willing, Merlin? She would never willingly allow you to take control of her to do this. She would never believe you're telling her the truth about it."

"She might. I'll talk to her. She'll have no other choice, she'll know if Arthur already knows about my magic she won't be able to bargain with me to keep my secret from him. And I won't let her remain a threat to us, she'll realise that. And ..." he hesitated and looked away awkwardly. "She's ... uh ... she's very drawn to me. Well, not me exactly, but my magic. I'd never let her sense it until today, and she was ..." He knew he was digging himself into a hole so he decided he may as well be blunt. "Look. I terrified her, when I took her away in my own time. I wasn't very nice, and I scared her a lot. She's hated me for a long time, and she'll hate me more now for that. But ..."

He bit his lip, embarrassed, then said in a rush, "But she's incredibly attracted to me, she can't help it, it's the magical pheromones, her own magic is reaching out to me. It recognises my magic because she already has some, but she doesn't know that. Her control is still fairly weak, and she's always been prone to act on her impulses, without thinking of the consequences, even in unfavourable circumstances. I'm sure I can convince her to have a ... uh ... discussion, with me, about it, and maybe get her to agree."

Arthur's face was a picture of horror warring with amusement, although amusement was beginning to win out, and even Gaius seemed to be having trouble keeping a straight face, so Merlin said hastily, "Look, this is getting really embarrassing. Let's just say I am completely irresistible to her, so since I am I'll use it to try and get her to agree to what I want to do with the magic. It's manipulation, I know, but it might yet save her."

He stood up and crossed his arms. "And neither of you had better ever say anything about it to anyone." He barely glanced at Gaius, it wasn't him that needed threatening. "Aw, come on, Arthur! It's not funny, it's a little bit scary, I don't like it! How would you feel if it was Morgause who was keen on you?"

Arthur snorted, barely suppressing his laughter.

Merlin glared at him for a moment and then said bluntly, "Would you rather me kill her?"

Arthur sobered instantly. "No. Of course not."

"Well we need to find her, I think I can make this work but I won't know until I see her again."

A/N: No cliffhanger on this chapter ... is that good or bad? And errr ... just so you know this is not about to totally turn into a Merlin/Morgana fic, although Merlin will need to deal with her in later chapters. How do you feel about her anyway? Is she redeemable - partially, totally or not at all? We've all probably seen enough S4 spoilers to know what way she goes in the TV series but I've read fics that portray her as polar opposites, evil or good. I've re-hashed my later chapters a couple of times that involve her ... so you'll have to wait and see how she turns out in this one. ;-)

Anyway I hope you don't feel this is dragging. I think I've read it too many times and re-written too much of it, so I'm finding it hard to have an unbiased option as to whether or not this is readable and interesting.

And to those who've reviewed my last two chapters – I'd really like to thank you, it keeps me writing when I'm unsure if it's worthwhile, so big THANKS and sorry for not responding yet, I haven't had much computer time lately, real life keeps getting in the way.