She stared dumbly at her phone, for a moment she couldn't remember what number she'd assigned to him in her favorites, and her fingers shook so hard she had to punch it in three times before she got it right anyway.
As usual, he answered on the first ring. "Natasha. How are you doing?"
"Not too good," she admitted. "I just… it's been a long day and I could really use a friend right now."
"I'm right here," he reminded her.
"I know, just… can you come over?" She looked up, puzzled when she heard a knock at her door. She burst into tears when she saw him standing in her doorway.
In one smooth motion, he kicked the door closed behind him and scooped her up into his arms. "I'm right here," he repeated, his voice nearly a whisper.
"H-how did you know?"
He grinned, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "There's a reason why we're best friends, remember?"
She nodded, breathing in a deep, shuddering breath. "I do. I remember everything. I remember….. everything."
He pulled her close and she sobbed into his shoulder. "I remember how much I love him and it's over. It's really over."
"Sssh." He rubbed small circles into her back. "It doesn't have to be over if you don't want it to be."
"I lost him. He was taken from me and then I just got him back and he was taken from me again and now…. I can't trust him. And it hurts so much!" She cried, clinging to him.
"I know, baby," he murmured into her ear. "I know."
She sniffled, wiping the back of her hand across her face. "How do you do it, Clint? How do you get over somebody you love so much?"
"I… you're asking me?" He said quietly. "I kinda have a proven track record of not being able to get over the ones I love."
She smiled, a watery smile. "Do you still love Bobbi, even though you're divorced?"
He nodded. "Very much."
"Does it ever stop hurting?"
"Oh, baby, it gets easier. I can promise you that." He ran his fingers through her hair, gently combing through the tangles. "It's okay if you still have feelings for him, you know."
She started sobbing all over again, burying her face in his chest, her hands fisting in his shirt. "I don't want to hurt you. You mean so much to me."
He took one of her shaking hands, slowly raising the clenched fist to his lips. "You and me, we're tight. Always, Tasha. Always. It's fine if you need some time."
She looked up into his eyes, bringing her wet hands up to frame his face. "I need you to kiss me."
"A-are you sure?"
She nodded, pulling his face down to hers, not waiting for him to make a move.
He kissed her back just as passionately, closing his eyes as he moved forward, backing her up into the doorframe of the kitchen.
"Clint," she moaned, her hands wandering down his sides. "Kiss me. Just make me forget."
His eyes shot open. "Hmmmm?"
"Take me," she murmured in between deep kisses, her mouth roughly sucking his. "Fuck me hard. Make me forget that James Buchanan Barnes ever existed."
"No!" He shouted, pulling away and grabbing her wandering hands in his.
"You want me, don't you?"
"Of course I do, but not like this. I'm not your rebound."
She shook her head. "It's not like that with us and you know it."
"That's why I can't do it like this."
"Come on, Clint. You understand, don't you? The first time I ever used my body totally of my own free will was with you. That first night, on the beach."
"I know," he said, his voice nearly a whisper. "And the first time I ever…"
Her eyes widened. "Seriously?"
He nodded. "God, you must think I'm some kind of—" He was cut off by her mouth covering his. "Tash…"
"Let's just do this, Clint. Come on, we both want to…"
He pressed his lips against her neck, his breath tickling her ear. "I want so badly, Natasha. I always have, and I always will. And I will make love to you, hopefully soon. But the next time we're together like that, it won't be because we're manipulating each other, or because one of us is angry and wants revenge."
She leaned her head back to give him better access. "Clint, please…"
He ran his tongue enticingly along her earlobe. "If you need me to help you relax a little, I can do that. But the next time I have you, it's going to be because you can't bear the thought of not having me inside you."
"Oh, God…"
"Bedroom?" He asked, his breath heavy on her cheek.
She nodded wordlessly, not taking her eyes off of his.