Several solar cycles later…
"Hey, Blitzwing, could you get us a barrel of oil over here?" Starscream called to Blitzwing, who was standing over by their refrigerator, rummaging around for some leftover energon. "We're kind of thirsty."
"Get it yourself!" Blitzwing's Hothead face yelled back. "What do I look like, your personal servant?"
"Well…actually…" Starscream said, grinning, and Spaceflower giggled.
It was morning and they had just left Starscream's room. Spaceflower still had to be roommates with Blackarachnia (who had thrown a fit at the news, but was ordered to "shut up" by Megatron), but Spaceflower was mostly spending her nights in Starscream's room now. This happened to be the very morning after a glorious night filled with multiple overloads, and Starscream and Spaceflower were both in unusually happy moods.
Starscream got up and got one oil barrel out of the refrigerator and two straws. He took the oil barrel back to the table and stuck both straws in.
"Oil, my love?" he asked.
"Oh, Starscream!" Spaceflower giggled. "That's adorable!"
She started drinking the oil out of one straw, Starscream the other. Lugnut sat down next to them, clutching a crumpled-up sheet of paper.
"What's with the paper?" Starscream asked.
"It's one of Megatron's maps of Cybertron," Lugnut told him. "You know, after he conquers it. I have the utmost confidence in him."
"Wow, it was awfully kind of him to lend it to you," Starscream said sarcastically.
Lugnut looked nervous, but didn't say anything back. Starscream knew Lugnut was scared of Megatron finding out why all his belongings were slowly disappearing, such as maps of a Decepticon-controlled Cybertron (obviously), weapons, battle souvenirs, and extra armor, not to mention empty oil containers, energon cubes, and Primus knows what else. Only Lugnut knew the full contents of his Megatron shrine, and Starscream didn't want to know.
Spaceflower giggled again. "Starscream, you're so funny! Come here, sweetie!"
Starscream grabbed her and initiated a passionate kiss, losing awareness of everything around him until he heard Lugnut holler, "Would you glitch-heads STOP it? You're making me sick!"
"I don't think you're in any place to be calling anyone a glitch-head, considering you are one," Starscream retorted.
"Ah, the 'honeymoon phase'," they heard Blitzwing's "Icy" face say, as he approached the table. "All you can think of is your significant other." He soon switched back to Hothead. "Before you know it, all you will want to do is rip each others' heads off!"
"Why would I want to rip Spaceflower's head off?" Starscream asked. "All I want to do now is rip your head off, Blitzwing. And maybe Lugnut's and Megatron's too, while I'm at it."
"I call Megatron!" Lugnut blurted out. Everyone stared for a moment, not saying anything.
"Lugnut, we all know you'd love to 'play' with Megatron's offline body every night, but wouldn't that be just a little disrespectful to his memory?" Starscream finally asked airily.
Spaceflower looked a little concerned. "You know, Lugnut, maybe you should see somebody about this."
"Don't bother, baby, we tried that stellar cycles ago," Starscream told her. "I also tried to convince Blitzwing to see somebody for his multiple personality disorder, but he didn't listen to me either."
"And I'm still the life of the party!" Blitzwing's Random face added, then screeched with laughter. Starscream would have been more annoyed, but Spaceflower, to his surprise, spun him around and kissed him on the lips. Starscream usually didn't like surprises, but in this case he figured he could make an exception.
"I love you, Starscream," she cooed, stroking his wings. By now she knew that was one of his hot spots, and once she started speaking in that beguiling voice, she could get Starscream to do anything.
At that moment, Megatron walked into the room and sat down at the table next to Blitzwing. He narrowed his eyes and commanded, "Lugnut, bring me some energon at once."
"Yes, my liege!" Lugnut replied, thrilled at the opportunity to serve the mighty Megatron. He bolted to the refrigerator, Blitzwing following.
"I regret to inform you that we do not have much energon left after the party," Icy told Megatron. "We have plenty of oil though."
"Lugnut, bring me some oil," Megatron said impatiently. Lugnut grabbed a huge barrel of oil and slammed it in front of Megatron.
"What do you put in this oil, Megatron?" Spaceflower asked, lifting up her barrel.
"Is something wrong with it?" Megatron asked nonchalantly.
"I…I feel kind of…sick," Spaceflower told him. "Maybe it's, you know, expired."
"It doesn't taste any different to me," Starscream told her, feeling concerned. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Actually I did have a little bit of a processor ache this morning," Spaceflower said unhappily, setting the oil barrel down.
"She probably just needs a tune-up," Icy said matter-of-factly. "It happens."
Spaceflower nodded, looking relieved. "That's right, Blitzwing, thanks. I'm sure I'll be fine."
"I hope so," Starscream said. "Don't drink any more of the oil though."
"Don't worry," Spaceflower whispered, leaning into him. "I won't."
"More oil for you, my liege!" Lugnut shouted to Megatron, heading to the refrigerator and setting another barrel in front of his beloved Master.
"Did I tell you to get me more oil, Lugnut?" Megatron asked coldly. "Do not get me any more unless I ask."
"Yes, my liege!" Lugnut replied, and sat back down. Megatron looked exasperated.
"Starscream, are you done with that oil?" Spaceflower suddenly asked, sounding frantic.
"I guess so, why?"
Spaceflower grabbed the can and stood up from the table. "That oil! I think I'm going to blow a gasket!"
With that she grabbed the can and ran out of the room.
"Megatron, how are we going to get her a tune-up when there are no Decepticon medic bots here on Earth?" Starscream cried, feeling alarmed. "She could go offline!"
"Do not question Megatron!" Lugnut shouted, pushing Starscream off his chair and onto the floor. "She's your problem, not his!"
"Shut up, Lugnut!" Starscream picked himself up off the floor and sat back down. "No girlfriend of mine is going to suffer. I need to help her."
Blitzwing's Icy face looked pensive. "The Autobots have a medic bot. Just take her to them."
"Like they would help her," said Starscream. "They unconventionally hate all Decepticons, including her."
"They did give her a standing ovation at the musical, Starscream," Megatron reminded him coolly, sipping his oil.
"Well…I'll try it," Starscream said. "This afternoon I'll take her."
That afternoon…
Starscream and Spaceflower finally arrived at the Autobot base. Starscream was again concerned with Spaceflower, who didn't look all that great.
"Flying…wasn't so good for me, Starscream," she whispered worriedly.
He patted her shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting way. "Don't worry. You just relax in their main room while I try to find their leader."
"I'll watch their TV," Spaceflower said, looking uncomfortable.
Starscream nodded and slipped into the hallway, trying to look for Optimus Prime. Finally he located him in a peculiar room with no roof, and a tree right in the middle. Hanging from the tree was another member of the team, but Starscream couldn't place the name at the moment. Optimus was casually holding conversation with him until Starscream cleared his throat.
"Optimus Prime," Starscream said, trying not to sound as helpless and worried as he felt.
"Starscream?" Optimus asked. Now he sounded worried. "What…what are you doing here?"
This was not going to be fun, Starscream knew, but he had to do it, for Spaceflower's sake. After all, if he needed a tune-up, wouldn't he want somebody to help him, even if it was one of those filthy, oppressive Autobots?
"It's…it's my girlfriend," Starscream admitted. "She desperately needs a tune-up and we Decepticons don't have any medical care here on Earth. I was wondering if you could help us instead. You…you remember her? The femme who sang in the musical?"
Optimus and Prowl looked at each other, both of them shocked. Maybe it was the desperate look on Starscream's face, but finally Optimus sighed.
"I'll ask Ratchet," he said. "After all, Autobots are programmed to protect innocent life, and your girlfriend has never wronged us."
"She's never wronged anyone," Starscream added. "She's perfect. I really don't want her to go offline."
Starscream and Prowl waited in Prowl's room for what felt like stellar cycles. When Optimus, Ratchet and Spaceflower finally came back in, Starscream rushed to her.
"Is she going to be okay?" he asked, kissing her head.
"Your girlfriend was perfectly healthy," Ratchet said. "The thing is…she's carrying."
"She's what?" Prowl and Starscream yelled at the same time. Prowl even stuck his head out from the leaves of his tree, where he had been hiding.
"Please…tell me you're happy?" Spaceflower asked worriedly, looking up at Starscream.
"Of course I am, my love," Starscream assured her, kissing her again. "Why wouldn't I be? I told you, I like surprises. Especially, you know, little protoforms of our own."
"I knew you two didn't plan this," Ratchet muttered.
"Starscream, I don't think I can—I mean, I've never—" Spaceflower's voice was shaking but Starscream gently held her close.
"Don't worry," he told her. "I'll be here. I love you. I will never allow harm to come to you."
All the Autobots in the room stared at the couple in amazement. This wasn't anything like the Starscream they were familiar with.
"We're…we're really…erm…happy for you guys," Optimus said awkwardly.
"Thanks," Spaceflower told him, still clinging to Starscream. She looked so scared.
"If you ever need anything, you know where to find us," Optimus continued.
"I-I thought you…hated Decepticons," Spaceflower whispered.
"Not if you aren't trying to steal the AllSpark and/or destroy us," Prowl told her, jumping down from his tree.
"We'd always help clueless, frightened new parents," Ratchet added.
"Hey guys!" Bumblebee yelled, running into Prowl's room, Sari following him. "Guess what? I beat Sari at our new video game…again!"
"No fair!" Sari yelled back, but then she turned to stare. "Decepticons? Forget it, Starscream! You'll never get my key!"
"We don't want your key, human!" Starscream shouted. "We just came here to, um…"
"Learn how to be ninja-bots?" Prowl quickly volunteered, jumping back up into the tree.
"Not buying it." Bumblebee crossed his arms.
"Oh come on!" Optimus insisted. "Starscream and his girlfriend love nature and, um, circuit-su! Right, guys?"
"Starscream has a girlfriend?" Sari and Bumblebee yelled.
"Who did you think she was?" Starscream demanded. "My personal servant?"
"Well…actually…" said Bumblebee, but Ratchet smacked him on the head.
"Listen up!" he shouted. "It's none of your business what these two are here for, so get out of here! Now!"
Sari and Bumblebee left, grumbling, and Starscream reached for Spaceflower's trembling servo. Ratchet looked towards the door.
"I don't think they would be able to handle the truth," he said quietly. "You agree?"
"Yes," Spaceflower told him. "But we do appreciate your help, because we need all the help we can get."
Back at the Decepticon base…
"Uh, guys?" Starscream called, as he and his girlfriend walked in. "We're home!"
"Took you long enough," Blackarachnia sassed. She was sitting on the couch and sipping some energon, legs crossed. "Is your pretty little girlfriend fixed now?"
"Well…first we want to get everybody else," Starscream told her nervously. "Because, you know, we kind of have something to say."
The two of them went to Megatron's door and knocked. He came out, looking irritated, and followed them as they brought everyone to the main room.
"We have big news," Spaceflower announced, squeezing Starscream's hand. "I was never sick."
"Megatron is just going to have…um…another…um…new recruit?" Starscream added.
"New recruit?" Lugnut repeated, sounding confused.
"You mean, she's carrying?" Megatron clarified, arms crossed.
"Um…as a matter of fact, yes," Starscream told him. "Good call."
"What are we going to do with your nasty little protoform around here, Spaceflower?" Blackarachnia walked up to Spaceflower and glared.
"Hey!" Spaceflower cried. "It's not nasty!"
"It will be, if it's the product of you two," Blackarachnia replied.
"You better back off now, unless you want to face the wrath of my null-rays!" Starscream yelled.
Blackarachnia just laughed. "You don't scare me, Processor-Seeker. You're about as threatening as a pile of spare parts."
"SILENCE!" Megatron thundered, picking up Starscream by his left wing. Starscream cried out in pain but Megatron ignored it. "Starscream, if this protoform of yours doesn't get in my way or the way of the Decepticon cause, I don't have a problem with it. However, it had better NOT get in my way, for from now on, it's YOUR responsibility."