"Merlin!"
His name sounded in mind speech, a mixture of affection and annoyance colouring Kilgharrah's tone.
Merlin didn't follow Arthur now, he walked beside him. They could see Kilgharrah near the bottom of the valley, he was in a clearing that seemed hardly big enough for him to land in. Several blackened trees were still smoking nearby, two had fallen on the ground.
Lancelot was standing back under the tree line a few yards away, he walked up to meet them as they approached, pausing to exchange a few words with Arthur and Merlin before disappearing back into the crowd of druids who were watching from well up the hill. Arthur stopped at the edge of the clearing, and Merlin walked across to Kilgharrah, stopping in front of him and saying to the dragon, "You summoned me?"
Kilgharrah's tone was dry. "Very droll, young warlock. Your sense of humour survived unscathed."
"What were you thinking, Kilgharrah, coming here?"
"The question is what were you thinking, Merlin? Do you realise what you've done? You've shifted the patterns in the stars, you've changed destiny's path and the lives of thousands."
He said quietly, "I had to."
"Young warlock, I understand your motives more than you do. And perhaps this time you are not as misguided as you have been in times past." Kilgharrah eyed him closely. "And your great power, means that you may succeed in shaping the future to the one you wish for."
But did he know what he wished for? He cut straight to the chase. "What did you mean, Kilgharrah, when you told me long ago that my future was joined forever to Morgana?"
"What was said then matters no more. That future has disappeared."
"So what are you saying?"
"Your destiny, and that of your prince, is clear once more. The path you'll take together hasn't changed. But the path ... of the other one you care for ... is not yet clear. The path she was once destined for has ended, your magical transformation ensured that. She'll never be your greatest foe now, but whether she becomes your greatest ally, or something in-between, is yet to be determined. There are two futures newly emerging for her, Merlin, and they will diverge soon enough. And if you think about it, you'll know what they are. They both originate from the most powerful of human emotions."
Merlin nodded. "You're talking of love and hate?"
"Yes. And the path she'll choose will depend upon you."
"What do you mean? You say it like she has no choice in the matter."
"She doesn't, although you may both think she does. Your choice will determine hers. Your actions in the past few days were the beginnings of your choice, even though you did not realise it. Merlin, you're the instrument of change you wish to see in your world, your choices decide her fate, and the the fate of all those in Albion."
He was? Merlin was uncertain about the wisdom of this advice. He shifted closer, Kilgharrah bent his head and Merlin placed his hand against the bumpy skin near the dragon's nostrils. He stroked the rough hide absently, his hand not far from the dragon's sharp teeth. He said hesitantly, "I don't understand it, this thing with her, and I don't know if it's right. I never gave it any thought until a few days ago. I don't know if we can be good for each other. It's been all about deception and hate for so long, and I can't see a way past it."
"Then you're deceiving yourself. Love is not a logical emotion, Merlin. It doesn't reason why, it just is. You've commanded forces greater than you know to bend the future to your will. You've asked the heavens for her, and it's not simple friendship or even guilt that drives your request. Do not delude yourself that the attraction between you is new. Your future has been joined to hers for as long as it's been joined to Arthur's. But the way it's joined is what you've changed. The power love commands, is a very curious thing."
Merlin dropped his hand away and took a step back. "I don't believe this. You're giving me advice on love?"
"Be that as it may, Merlin. Destiny rewards its faithful servants, and your rewards will be great. I don't speak of gold or jewels, for I know you do not covet them. I speak of the human emotions you value; friendship, happiness and love. And my young friend, you will do well to remember that you don't need to always think alike, to love alike, all you need is to find some common ground together, and it will flow from there."
The dragon allowed amusement to colour his words. "And in the future, there will be ... someone ... that ensures this common ground, and your connection, forever."
Merlin drew in his breath and stilled, alert to the dragon's nuances, and asked sharply, "Kilgharrah? What do you mean?"
The dragon's enjoyment deepened. "If you think about it, you'll know what I mean, and it will become very clear to others in exactly two years and nine months ... if I am not greatly mistaken, young warlock. And I never am."
Merlin's face paled, he stared wide-eyed at Kilgharrah and stumbled backwards, clutching at a nearby tree trunk for support, his fingernails digging into the bark. There was an odd buzzing sound in his ears and he forgot to breathe, and his magic whirled through him erratically, making his head spin.
Arthur had heard everything from his vantage point and he called out, "Merlin?"
Two years and nine months, oh god. Merlin held on desperately to the tree, hoping he wouldn't keel over. There was no doubt in his mind what Kilgharrah meant. A child, his child, his and ... Morgana's. He found himself staring at the dragon in a daze, almost dizzy with the shock of it all. He could barely take it in, to know about impending fatherhood, as a sure, definite occurrence, with a timeframe ... when he hadn't ... they hadn't even ... no!
And no way was he letting Arthur know what Kilgharrah meant, no way! He snuck a glance behind him at the prince and whipped his head back hastily when he caught Arthur watching him with a speculative gleam in his eyes. He'd never, ever again be frustrated at Kilgharrah again for being cryptic, he'd thank him for it, he hoped his comments were cryptic enough, he really hoped Arthur didn't understand a word of this conversation.
Merlin tried to regain his equilibrium, but his legs felt weak, along with every other part of him. He slid to the ground, his back against the tree, and put his head in his hands, trying to manage his breathing. There was a puff of warm air on his face, he peered up, Kilgharrah had stuck his head closer to get a better view of the impact of his revelation. Merlin wondered if he could get away with clouting him over the snout, he knew the dragon was enjoying the moment far too much. But no, he wouldn't try it, he didn't have the strength at present.
"Young warlock, I see you're still weakened from your magical adventures. Perhaps this isn't the best time to have such a conversation."
"You don't ..." Merlin stumbled and tried again. "If this is your idea of humour, then it's not remotely funny."
The dragon chuffed lightly. "Ah, but it is humorous my young friend. But it's true too." His tone took on smug air. "You did this, you changed the path of your destiny, you added another strand. Or perhaps I should say two strands, or more ... if I am being totally truthful, to your path."
"More?" The word came out as a horrified squeak, and Kilgharrah deliberately blew a gust of warm air directly into Merlin's face. Merlin jerked, startled, and knocked the back of his head against the tree.
"Not more all at once, young warlock. Gradually." Distraction gained, Kilgharrah continued in a gentle tone, "You should not be concerned. It will bring you all great happiness."
Merlin rubbed the back of his head absently, and managed the shadows of a smile, studiously ignoring Arthur's curiosity. He decided uncharitably if the prince hadn't worked it out Kilgharrah's meaning by now then he was just too thick to rule. They'd have to find someone else to do the job, Gwaine would be perfect.
Merlin took a deep breath and stood up again, holding onto the tree for support. And more? How many more than one, was more? He tried to take no notice of Arthur but it was a little difficult when the prince walked up beside him and gave him a friendly and far too cheerful punch on the arm.
Merlin hissed before Arthur could open his mouth, "Don't even think about ever mentioning to me or anyone else, anything about that conversation!"
Arthur snorted, still annoyingly cheerful, and Merlin glared. Guess Gwaine's life wasn't going to get more complicated after all.
He sent another warning glower Arthur's way to absolutely no effect, then he straightened and ran a slightly shaky hand through his hair. Could Kilgharrah's words really be true? Suddenly vulnerable, he asked the dragon, "Are you sure? It will work out, Kilgharrah?" He needed reassurance, the path with Morgana seemed littered with obstacles, next to impossible to navigate successfully. He needed to have this blind faith so he could confidently move forwards, with her.
"Yes, Merlin. It will. Time and love heal many wounds."
His eyes felt suddenly wet, he scrubbed at them impatiently, and then it was alright, and he just wanted to see her, that was all that mattered. All the tension drained out of him, and a new purpose took hold. He knew he wouldn't be so cautious, not now, if this was another part of his destiny then he'd trust in it. Because it would work out, his belief in their fate meant he'd fight for her, he knew what he wanted and this assurance would give him the faith to make it work, and he was going to grab it with both hands and hold on tight.
His voice was steady enough when he spoke. "Do you want to meet her, Kilgharrah?" It wasn't a simple question, he expected certain behavioural standards from the dragon, and Merlin knew Kilgharrah would realise it.
The dragon thought about it. "Yes I do, young warlock. Bring her here."
But Merlin wanted a promise from him first, it was too important to chance. "Kilgharrah? If what you're saying is true, then you know what I'm asking, watch what you say, or I'll make you regret it."
The dragon didn't challenge him, he merely nodded his head and slowly blinked his great golden eyes. Merlin looked back at the crowd behind him, there were too many people to count peering down at them. The druids were standing well back, far beyond hearing distance and in the scores of faces he couldn't see her. He called her name with mind speech, and made his way back up the hill towards the edge of the camp. He ignored the interest and the whispers and the more outspoken souls who called his name with questions about the dragon. He saw Thea first, then beside her, Morgana.
The crowd parted like the Red Sea, he stopped in front of her. He wished for privacy, but it wasn't to be, he used mind speech again although she couldn't reply in kind. "Morgana, would you like to meet Kilgharrah?"
Her breathing hitched, she shot him an uncertain glance as she picked at the edges of her cloak nervously. He thought of Kilgharrah's timeframe of what would occur and he gave her a secretive look, his eyes dark and stormy with emotion. He tugged her hand, his eyes flashing at her with a significance she couldn't understand. He tried to be casual. "Come on Morgana, you're never scared of anything. And he won't hurt you anyway."
She gave him a cool glance, but he knew she didn't mean it because she held his hand tighter and reached out to touch him with the other, making a play of straightening his jacket collar. Suddenly possessive, he cupped the back of her head, his fingers stroking the soft skin of her neck. He saw the flare of need in her eyes before she could hide it, and his magic quivered in response.
He slipped an arm under her cloak, around her waist, drawing her to him, then with single-minded intensity took her mouth eagerly, delving in deep. He kissed her passionately, his mouth moving over hers with great tenderness. Something profound and elemental and soul-shaking was happening between them; there was no right or wrong any more, it just was. His teeth burrowed lightly into her bottom lip, his hand shaped the smooth curves beneath her cloak, then he drew back, smiling a little at the stunned expression on her face, not even caring about the ripples of interest from their audience.
He cleared his throat, pleased with himself, and spoke aloud. "Let's go, Morgana."
But she leant back into him and pressed her lips against his ear, he shivered and she whispered, "What was that for? I thought we'd agreed there wasn't going to be any more kissing?"
His magic sparked, he felt a surge of affection for her, his arms tightened, he was stupidly and ridiculously happy. He smiled and answered in mind speech, "I was wrong, kissing is a great idea. We need to do it more often." He swapped to verbal speech again as he tugged her down the hill, towards Kilgharrah. "Come on, let's go."
The dragon watched their approach, waiting until they were right up close again. Morgana was between Arthur and Merlin; she'd grown tense as they approached the dragon and Merlin could tell she was extremely wary, but trying not to show it. She was holding onto his hand tightly, and she was standing very close to him.
"Morgan le Fay." Kilgharrah's voice was neutral, and he lowered his head to get a better look at her.
Merlin gave him a sharp glance, wondering if the dragon was going to keep his word. "Her name is Morgana Pendragon, Kilgharrah, you know that."
Morgana squeezed his hand and spoke up cautiously, but more to Merlin than the dragon. "No Merlin, he's correct. I gave that name up when I came here. Pendragons belong in Camelot, and I don't. It's not me, anymore." She was still standing half behind him, clearly uneasy in the dragon's presence, but her words were strong enough. "Many of the druids call me by that name, even Thea."
Merlin's eyes flicked her way. "Why didn't you mention it?"
Morgana said, "You didn't mention your other name!"
Merlin wasn't going to start another fight. "Fine, alright."
Kilgharrah studied her with interest. "Morgan le Fay. So, this is war, and you're the prize."
"I'm no prize." Her retort was automatic and Merlin smiled to himself and noticed Arthur rubbing a hand over his mouth.
"Then perhaps you're part of the spoils of victory."
Merlin was familiar with the dragon's pointed digs, but Morgana wasn't. She was still standing half behind Merlin, holding onto his hand, he felt her slight apprehension at Kilgharrah's words.
"Kilgharrah." Merlin's tone was a warning. "This is supposed to be a meet and greet, nothing more."
The dragon disagreed. "Hmm. Meet yes, greet ... I don't recall agreeing to that. I shall see which path she takes, first."
Merlin's voice cracked like a whip, and Arthur threw him a sideways glance, startled by his tone. "Then you'd best think about it again, because you did agree, and you said the path was my choice."
"Very well." The dragon dipped his head in a bow, conceding. "Then Morgan le Fay, I will ask you to listen to me." His voice gentled, cajoling. "Love is the beginning to everything, and the divide between love and hate is not an easy one to traverse. Nor is the path that leads to forgiveness and acceptance. Learning to trust can be one of life's most difficult tasks, and it will be, for you. But if you have trust, the rest will come, more easily than you could imagine. You would do well to remember that."
Merlin spoke for her, when it was clear she wasn't ready to say anything more. "Thank you, Kilgharrah." His tone was wry.
Kilgharrah looked at him closely, observing the tiredness in his eyes. "And you, my young friend, would do well do rest again. Your magic is still very unstable. It's a wonder you've stayed on your feet this long. You should have rested a while longer before you visited me."
"Yes, well ..." Merlin waved a hand in Arthur's direction. "He told me I had to come and see you. He said you were –" he turned to Arthur, "What was it again? A great big cranky dragon, who told him off, and you were my problem and I had to deal with you."
Kilgharrah studied the prince who didn't seem remotely bothered by the accusation. "I suppose that is somewhat true," the dragon acknowledged grudgingly. "The disturbance in the prophecies when you changed them, Merlin, was like nothing I have ever experienced. And I do not wish to experience it again. It was most disconcerting."
The dragon addressed Arthur. "The young warlock is the most unpredictable dragonlord I've ever bonded with, and has a tendency to get himself in all sorts of trouble. Do not forget that I hold you responsible for ensuring his safety."
"What!" Merlin was indignant. "He doesn't need to look after me! He hasn't even got magic!"
Arthur opened his mouth but Kilgharrah beat him to it. "You two," he said, addressing his words to both men, "will continue, as you've always done, watching out for, and protecting, each other. Young prince, your friend is more powerful than you can imagine but he is still vulnerable. I have told you before and I'll remind you again: don't think his power means he cannot be harmed."
Kilgharrah turned to Morgana. "And Morgana le Fay." Merlin tensed, giving him a warning look. Kilgharrah said, "If you allow yourself to trust the young dragonlord then you too will be rewarded in ways you cannot imagine."
There was a smile in Kilgharrah's voice and Merlin decided to head off this conversation. It was all very well and good being told what was in store for him in two years and nine months, but he didn't want Morgana privy to that knowledge, at present, thank you very much. He wasn't sure if it would help or hinder his cause, but knowing Morgana's fighting ways he suspected the latter, he was pretty sure she wouldn't like the idea of her life already mapped out for her before she could live it.
But then again ... maybe she already had some idea, she'd snuggled up to him and slept in his arms beside the campfire after she'd had a dream she didn't want to tell him about two nights previously. And after it she'd kissed him and ... He swallowed and felt his heart thump. "Alright, thanks Kilgharrah. You'll be off now, huh?"
"Very well." The dragon dipped his head to Merlin, and added, "I am relieved to find you well, my young friend." He glanced at the other two, then up at the druids watching them. Then he took to the sky, in a lurch of speed and a rush of air that bent back the tree branches as he rose up.
Merlin turned to leave, but the others were still watching Kilgharrah as he disappeared from sight through the gaps in the trees. He was still holding Morgana's hand, and had no plans at all to let her go. He gave it a tug, and they all headed back up towards the druid camp.
Merlin was still tired, more so now than he had been when he first woke up. He knew it was because his magic was still unsettled, and he also knew he wouldn't be able to stay awake much longer. He'd started to feel a little dizzy as they walked back through the encampment, and he tried to ignore the sensation, slightly torn between the idea of sneaking off somewhere with Morgana or spending time with Arthur, Nathaniel and Iseldir.
But in the end the choice wasn't a decision he had to make, as Thea took one look at him as they passed through the crowds and followed him back up to Nathaniel's tent.
"Emrys, back to bed for you," she told him. "You hop in there now and I'll bring you another tonic. Your headache is coming back, isn't it?"
"Yeah, a bit." He put up a half-hearted protest. "But I shouldn't. Nathaniel might like his tent back."
"He doesn't mind. I'll give you something that'll knock you out until the morning, is that okay?"
"Alright." He allowed Arthur, Morgana and Thea to take him back into the tent. He sat on the edge of the bed and unbuckled his boots, yanking them off his feet and tossing them to the side. He took Thea's potion when she offered it to him, and the last thing he remembered was Arthur and Morgana's faces side-by-side, before he slept.
A/N: Anyone spot Kilgharrah's slightly mashed Gandhi quote, which is actually "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." Thought that summed up Merlin's role in the scheme of things fairly well. I've used a few quotations/sayings by famous people in this fic.
And ... thanks again to those who've reviewed recent chapters, some of which I haven't been able to respond to as they're not logged in, so:
* Reviewer who didn't leave a name – big thanks.
* Sylvanara – yes I thought Merlin having "fans" would be amusing
* Ground – I hope you like Merlin and Morgana's changed destiny
* Mark – I was surprised you're still reading this as from your reviews of very early chapters I didn't think you liked anything at all about this fic – but don't worry too much about the Merlin-dragonlord-revelation-getting-back-to-Camelot thing, I've hashed out a few later chapters so do have a plan for that, sort of. Can't promise you'll like it though. :) And a lot of this is written the way it is because I want to play around with the character's reactions to situations that develop outside what we see on the show, it can make it more interesting even though by doing this it risks it being less believable because we haven't seen them behave that way on the screen. Does that make sense?
* peanutbutter101 – I finally "get" the screen name now that I've read a Colin Morgan interview ... and thanks for reviewing
* Griffinesque – yay!
* Dee – yeah, I know. But it'll work out (I know it will since I'm writing it!)
* ILoveNonFiction – hope you like the additional Mergana, we won't be getting that in S4!
* Anonymous – I liked Merlin's wyvern too, but someone else (in later chapters) won't, heehee
Apologies if I've missed anyone, this note is getting long.