"Nearly two years, M'dear," the Captain began trepidaciously. 'Even now,' he thought to himself, 'I cannot predict how she'll react to this conversation. Every time I try to broach this topic her reaction is never quite what I anticipate.' Forcing himself to remain still, he waited for her to respond while he stood quietly peering out the telescope. Unaware of his discomfort, Carolyn Muir sat at her desk, vividly aware of his closeness, and with little success, attempted to focus on editing her latest article.

"Two years?" she said absently. "Indeed, I find it difficult to believe myself," he said softly, moving to lean over her at the desk. Despite her fingers clutching the arms of her chair, Carolyn couldn't stop the inevitable shiver that ran through her at his approach. Not comprehending his comment, she turned to look up at the Captain, knowing that making eye contact with him was bound to make it even harder to concentrate. "No, I meant what two years?"

Laughing to himself, while enjoying her visible unease, he charitably moved to the opposite side of the desk, and settled on the edge. "Two years. Really an anniversary of sorts. This weekend will be two years since you and the family became part of Gull Cottage, part of my life. I was just thinking such a momumental achievement might be recognized, be celebrated?"

"Heavens," Carolyn said gently, pushing her chair back from the desk, "It feels a world away, another life time, when I think about what it was like before we came here. Before we . . . came home," she finished looking at him carefully. It was certain that at that moment, he clearly understood that when she said 'home' she truly meant 'being here with you!'

"Home," he said gently, "Yes, I believe that's what I meant to communicate. It's our anniversary, of when you finally came home."

Her vivid blush told him his meaning had been entirely understood. It had been a complicated year with its fair share of misunderstandings, anger and confusion. In this one quiet moment, he hoped they would finally put all that to rest, and return to the close, caring relationship he most wished for, entirely wanted to be secured between the two of them for all time.

"You seem a bit flushed, M'dear, perhaps I should open the doors and let in the afternoon breeze?" he offered with a rueful grin. Rolling her eyes, Carolyn laughed, "Come now Captain" she said, in a decidedly saucy manner, as she stood and moved to his side, "Time to take full responsibility for your words." "And my actions as well?" he grinned tracing a ghostly finger along her face and settling a gentle kiss above her ear.

Smiling happily, she looked up into his eyes, "It hasn't been easy, has it?" Nodding, he answered, "I've been hesitant to even raise the topic." "Yes I know," she answered, "I keep arguing with myself is this right, reasonable or even fair to anyone?"

The Captain smiled down, "I hate to admit, but you are not alone in your wondering. Indeed I still argue with myself if this what I should offer you, when it is all I can offer you? It hardly seems fair, or enough for someone like you." Seeing her silent nod, he continued, "I see we have been having the same thoughts haven't we?"

Sighing, she shared a quavering smile, "Daniel, this is what we do have together. No doubt, especially over this last year, you have seen me struggle with accepting this life, or rather OUR life, just as it is, not as I wish it could have been. No matter how difficult I've made it, you have given me the life I've most needed. And throughout the hard times, you've been so generous in showing me all the wonders you wanted and wished to share with me." Stopping to lean against him, she continued in a whisper, "No matter the regrets, the other wishes, you need to know that what we do have today, what we have now, is quite wonderful."

He let her rest against him, and together they let their reality settle quietly around them. "And all the things we are never going to have," he finally let slip from his lips, "those dearly wished for moments that are never going to happen?" "They'll have to wait for someone else," she finished for him. "But even our 'anniversary' isn't a real one," he murmured to her, "no gathering before the world, declaring we are one, no formal ceremony making it real. . . "

"Daniel," she said gently into his shoulder, "It was just after my parents' anniversary when the children and I told them we were moving here. The two of them were so very unhappy, disappointed we were moving away to Maine. Yet if they had known I was coming here to find my heart, I suspect, even if they didn't understand, they'd have been delighted. . . "

Taking her hand, he whispered one of her most favored thoughts, "Dearest, be assured my feelings for this woman are deep and true. For in this small hand lie the hopes, the dreams, my past, my future. . ." In the midst of this romantic moment, the Captain was surprised when she pushed away, "'Anniversary! Today IS my parent's anniversary, the day I told them we were leaving. Heavens, Mother would never forgive me if I missed THEIR anniversary. I hate to go, but I should have called her first thing this morning, do you understand?"

With a ghost of a kiss on her forehead, he nodded and watched her scurry out the door of the master cabin. "Yet," he murmured to himself, "if only we could have had such a day of our own, but that, it appears, is not to be." Silently he disappeared, and settled below decks into a parlor chair, picking up one of the books Martha had cleared from the bookcase in the midst of her cleaning. Quietly, he watched his love pick up the phone and dial the number of her parent's Philadelphia home.

"Happy Anniversary Mother!"