Twists And Turns

Chapter 10

I brought Vegeta to Capsule Corp and sought out Bulma immediately. She was tinkering with some kind of machine, flipping switches and pressing buttons rapidly.

"Bulma," I said shortly, trying to get her attention.

She jumped and turned around quickly.

"Oh it's you, Goku." she sounded relieved, apparently thinking me to be someone else at first.

I blinked at her once, "I need you to do something for me."

She stood, covering the machine she'd been working on with a sheet, "Sure, anything."

I gestured to where I'd left the prince in the hallway, "I want you to give Vegeta an ultrasonic examination."

She looked surprised, though it was probably more at those particular words she'd never heard me speak before than the suggestion itself.

"Uh... sure, I think I've got the technology for that somewhere..."

Why she had that kind of equipment lying around, I didn't know, but I wasn't going to question it.

.

.

Vegeta was instructed to lie down on a stainless white medical table, and Bulma started setting up wires and other equipment deftly. I felt awkward just standing there, and I thought it would be cowardly to leave. I heaved a sigh and sat in one of the uncomfortable chairs near the door; crossing one leg over the other and slumping forward tiredly, dropping my gaze to the white tile floor. I hadn't slept in over a fortnight, and even before that I hadn't been sleeping well with the nightmares and guilty fantasies of the prince before me.

...If he knew about those fantasies... I thought grimly; the bitter musing trailed off in my mind.

I glanced up as a faint whirring sound signaled that the machine was turned on, but rather than watch the fuzzy static skittering on the screen as it booted up; I let my eyes rove over the prince slowly, since no one was paying the slightest attention to what I was doing. I kind of liked it that way.

He'd removed his shirt, and the muscles of his chest and abdomen glistened with a mixture of a thin sheen of sweat and the clear gel Bulma had used for the ultrasound itself. Just by looking, it would be impossible to tell that he was pregnant, in fact I might have scoffed at the idea if I didn't know the truth myself.

"Watch the screen," Bulma instructed Vegeta; and hesitantly, I got to my feet and stood a few paces away, wary and a little intrigued, I'll admit. My eyes remained trained on Vegeta, as he watched the blurred screen raptly.

"What am I supposed to be looking at?" the prince asked after a moment.

As Bulma explained the projection, I allowed myself to take a look at the screen perplexedly. I wasn't a scientist, so I couldn't tell you what exactly I was looking at, but I understood the basic concept. Still it kind of looked like a bunch of gray and silver sludge to me.

Bulma's eyes studied the screen thoughtfully as she slowly ran the scanner she held across Vegeta's waist again.

"It's strange," she murmured, almost to herself, "It's not like any other projections I've seen. I guess that's to be expected, but…" she bit her lip, "It just seems to be organized differently or something."

"Well obviously, woman," Vegeta muttered, "I'm Saiyan."

I thought about it. He probably had a point, but either way his anatomy would be irregular, whether by human standards or not.

"No, that's not it." Bulma shook her head, "I think it's because you're male."

I nodded to myself, that would be a contributing factor too.

"...What I don't understand is how it's possible." the blue-haired woman went on, "There doesn't seem to be a uterus, something like it, yes, but… what's supporting the embryo?"

I could see Vegeta roll his eyes exasperatedly, but a new theory had occurred to me...

"Doesn't need it." I said quietly, trying to figure out how the woman had deciphered what she had from the illegible smear of gray on the screen.

"What?" Bulma sounded startled, glancing up at me, "What do you mean, Goku?"

The theory was still formulating in my mind, but I answered her anyway.

"Vegeta's right," I wasn't sure if I was comfortable saying that out loud, "It's probably different because he's Saiyan; a Saiyan embryo can most likely survive on different circumstances than a human one."

From what I knew, Saiyans were resilient creatures – and I was in a rare position to speak from experience – and that might shed a little insight on why the beginning of a Saiyan infant had been able to develop even inside a person who was clearly male. Obviously there had to be something keeping it alive, but my guess was that even under less than ideal conditions, even as little more than a growing cluster of cells, the little being was a survivor.

"Maybe you're right," Bulma complied, "But something's been confusing me since day one of this whole thing: how was it even possible for him to conceive in the first place?"

For that, I had no theory. I glanced at Vegeta; and noticed Bulma doing the same. Maybe he knew something. After all, he knew a lot more about Saiyan lore than I did. And it was his body that was housing this universal oddity, wasn't it?

Immediately the prince scowled, "Why are you looking at me? I have no idea."

So much for that.

There were a few moments of silence, and my gaze drifted from the prince to look at the screen again. Before I could say anything, he pointed at a corner of the image and asked,

"What is that?"

I scrutinized the area he'd indicated, and found myself inclined to ask the same thing. I hadn't seen a whole lot of ultrasonic projections before – ChiChi had only had it done once or twice; and the first time, I wasn't there.

"That's the baby," Bulma said steadily, "Or... what will become the baby."

I flinched and studied the image again. It was nothing special, to be honest, just a little quivering blob in a mass of gray and black. But knowing what it was, what it promised, I couldn't help but feel... something. Almost like I was short of breath.

"Can you... can you tell me more?" Vegeta asked tentatively.

"It's kind of hard to tell at this early stage," Bulma said slowly, and I tuned out the rest of her words. I glanced at the image one more time before switching my gaze to the prince before me. He wasn't facing me, but I could see his agitation. I wasn't sure why, but something about how awestruck he seemed to be unnerved me. How could he be so accepting of this accidental being taking form within him? I would have expected him to treat it as he would a parasite that invaded his body; not as a miracle. What happened to him to make him so... outgoing?

Abruptly, Vegeta turned and looked at me with irritation in his eyes.

"Do you have to do that?" he snapped.

I blinked once, confused, "Do what?"

He grit his teeth, "Glare at me all the time! I didn't do anything, okay?"

Had I been glaring at him? I hadn't been aware of it...

Glare at me... all the time? I played back what he said in my mind. I guess I had been glaring at him a lot, I didn't know he'd been paying attention to it.

"...It's nothing," I muttered.

He crossed his arms rigidly, unconvinced.

I saw Bulma glance at me in puzzlement, then at Vegeta.

"Why do you guys keep arguing?" she burst out.

I was about to respond, but Vegeta beat me to it.

"Ask him," he shot me a look that was all daggers, "I have absolutely no idea why he's so angry."

I averted my gaze by dropping it to the floor. That was too complicated a subject for me to clarify for them... and I doubted they'd understand if I did try to explain.

"Goku," Bulma said as she switched off her machine, "Really, what's wrong?" She threw Vegeta a shirt. He put it on, and pulled it over his gel-slicked midsection with a disgusted expression.

I stole glances at both of them out of the corners of my eyes.

"Nothing," I said coldly at last; a complete lie.

Bulma's tone was sarcastic as she simpered, "Oh, sure, I'll believe that,"

Damn it. I knew I didn't have a hope of fooling her.

"I've known you longer than anyone, Goku." She said, glaring at me, "I can tell when you're hiding something."

Defensiveness flared in my veins and I growled, "Yeah, but I don't have to tell you everything."

"You can tell me about this!" she shot back.

"It's not important," I snapped, "And it's none of your business anyway!"

Going to turn her away too? My thoughts mocked me.

I set my teeth; that thought was purely my own... the monster was conspicuously silent.

And right when I could use some guidance, I thought bluntly.

"Is it mine?" I almost snarled as I heard Vegeta speak, but it was only because he was the last person I wanted to try to explain myself to when I felt like I was running blind.

Trepidation was setting in... because I had gotten myself pretty angry completely without the help of the monster's easy rage... Was I actually becoming the monster? Was that why it was quiet?

Vegeta looked nervous as I glared at him, "Is it... Is it my business?" he asked.

I hesitated, unsure what I could tell him; and right when I thought about actually saying what was on my mind, the monster reared its head and cut in,

"No," my voice snapped, "What goes on in my life is no one's business but mine."

Relief trickled through me, and I wanted to slap myself for it. I should not be relieved that the monster was still with me; I should be trying to get rid of it.

"But you're taking it out on us," Bulma pointed out, looking at me with something between compassion and frustration.

"It's not a big deal," the monster pulled the sharp retort from me, and I didn't dwell on it, though it was obviously not the truth.

"Stop this, Kakarot," Vegeta said swiftly, "Your arguments are getting you nowhere, it'll save a lot of trouble to just spill it."

"No." I replied obdurately.

"Come on, this isn't like you," Bulma implored, her blue eyes distressed, "You're frustrated and angry and sad right now."

Shock slapped through me, and I stared at her.

How can you see through me? My thoughts demanded, How can you understand me?

That was the closest thing to empathy that I'd encountered in a long time.

I didn't know what to say in response, there was nothing I could make myself say. I looked at Vegeta, saw his eyebrows furrowed with concern, and my patience ran out.

"Just drop it." I snapped, looking away from both of them.

Before I could change my mind, I left, forgoing Instant Transmission until I'd left Capsule Corp's doors behind me. I couldn't stay here right now, I needed to think, and for that I needed an escape. I probably should have faced the questions and accusations of my oldest friend and the prince of my race, but I couldn't make myself confess to what I'd let myself sink to. I was ashamed of myself... For not having the courage to be what I was.

.

.

I teleported, but I sensed I was being followed, and as soon as I reappeared in the mountains of my home, I teleported again at random. I found myself in the southern reach of Satan City, and I took one glance at the clustered packs of people crowding the streets before abandoning that location as well.

I rematerialized for the third time on the edge of Chazke village, one of Cell's conquests back when he'd been terrorizing the Earth. It was quiet, the surrounding forest deserted. Out of breath from running away – I knew that was what I was doing – I stood there for a moment, appreciating the solitude for all it was.

I slipped back into my battling thoughts; they had not simplified one bit since I'd left. I wrestled with myself for what may have been mere minutes or much longer... I wasn't sure. And of course, now that it had been awakened, the monster would not go back to sleep.

Frustration made my skin feel hot and tight, and a low growl rumbled in my chest as I tried to quiet the conflict gripping my mind.

I completely lost track of the time, and I was jolted from my reverie as I felt Vegeta's ki in the distance... or lack thereof.

Not again... I thought.

I teleported, still arguing in my mind about whether I should; and found the prince barely clinging to consciousness, sitting unstably with his head between his bent knees, breathing shallowly as he struggled not to pass out. The strain he was creating on his energy by remaining in this limbo would make it flicker out completely if he kept it up.

"Snap out of it, Vegeta!" I shouted, approaching him uncertainly.

A shiver eddied down his body and his eyes slitted open blearily, aimlessly drifting before fluttering closed again.

"Vegeta!" I insisted, touching a hand to his shoulder to try and get his attention. He weakly shoved the hand away, his fading ki dipping lower and blurring vaguely.

He's going to die, I was surprised to hear the icy tone of the monster saying this urgently in my mind.

Impulse took over and I brought a hand back quickly, slapping the semiconscious prince across the face.

Immediately his eyes snapped open, unfocused and bleak, but at least I had his attention.

I prepared myself to slap him again if he started losing consciousness, a snarl of determination on my face.

"Snap out of it," I repeated, watching light flood back into Vegeta's hazed eyes as he stared at me,

"I'm going to give you some of my ki so you can stand." I explained bluntly, "Can you focus on me long enough to take it or do I have to hit you again?"

He blinked rapidly a few times, as if trying to retain his vision. I took that as an affirmative.

Don't know why I'm helping him, I thought, It'd be a hell of a lot easier to just...

I shook off the thought and concentrated on the task at hand, funneling a steady flow of ki into the drained prince. His breathing steadied after a few moments and he got to his feet, regaining his balance gradually.

I stood as well, watching the other Saiyan to be sure he didn't collapse again.

"Th-thanks," Vegeta stammered shakily, looking at me with equal measures of gratitude and wariness.

I released a pent-up breath on a sigh.

"Anytime," I said dully.

He just looked at me for a long time, his crisp black gaze scanning my face as if trying to understand it. I let myself look at him as well, somehow feeling like I didn't deserve to.

That's ridiculous, I thought, he's not so special.

I realized Vegeta was waiting for me to say something... but I had absolutely no idea what to say. So I said the first thing that came to mind.

"You... you shouldn't fly off alone like that."

His eyes narrowed, "You did."

Technically I teleported. I thought neutrally.

"That's different," I said pointedly, "You're..." I swallowed hard, still having a hard time saying it.

Vegeta had no such problems, "You think because I'm pregnant I can't take care of myself?"

"I... Yes, actually," I said brusquely, "Look, you almost got yourself killed just now!"

And I came running... again... I thought discordantly.

"I didn't -" Vegeta began heatedly.

"Vegeta, when I got to you, your ki was almost gone." I said, "If you weren't about to die, then the baby certainly was."

He tensed, opened his mouth to retort; closed it again. Eventually he just closed his eyes and sighed.

"Why did you come after me?" he asked after a moment.

"I could ask you the same thing," I said sleekly. After all, he'd pursued me first, and because of that I'd had to teleport all over the damn map trying to get away.

Coward, my mind taunted, a spice of the monster's jeering finding its way into the thought.

"You could have let me die and been done with it," the prince snapped impatiently, "No more commitment, no more conflict."

I could have... I thought, But it would solve nothing...

I shook my head with a long sigh, "If you died, none of that would go away... if anything, it might get worse."

"Why?" he pried stubbornly.

I couldn't think of a reply.

"Because." I said shortly, a rather childish attempt to end the discussion there. And I should have known it would be useless.

Vegeta looked at me doubtfully, "Kakarot, tell me what's wrong with you," he pleaded, "I've been completely honest with you this entire time, can't you return the favor?"

So he wanted the truth... something he'd apparently struggled to give me.

There's one big difference, I thought, shifting slightly, Your truth and my truth are very different. ...And mine's a lot harder to put into words.

My gaze lowered to the rocky ground and I thought haphazardly for a moment. I supposed I should at least make an attempt.

"I… I've been so confused, Vegeta." I muttered quietly. For once, no spite, no sarcasm, no bitterness colored the words. But they were far from emotionless.

I glanced at the prince uncertainly, then dropped my gaze back to the ground.

"I… t-thought I was mad… at you, but… really I was just…" ...Angry with myself, I finished in my mind. It was so much easier to vent on the prince than to try to connect with him, especially after what had happened the last time I tried. I got closer to him than I ever thought I would, and it resulted in my whole world falling apart at the seams, taking me with it.

"You were just...?" Vegeta prompted softly, looking hopeful.

I hesitated nervously. Once again the monster had left me to fend for myself... and I wondered if I should even try to bring it back. Maybe... I should just...

Well I can't trust myself, I can't trust the monster, and I can't trust Vegeta... what the hell do I have to lose?

"Kakarot, please -" Vegeta began beseechingly, and I made up my mind.

Without a second of thought or doubt, I closed the space separating us rapidly; gripping the prince's shoulders and covering his slightly ajar mouth with my own.

I was overwhelmed instantly, nearly knocked off my feet with the sheer sensation.

Vegeta tasted incredible. In the brief moment, his hot, rich, wonderful mouth opened, tempting me. I gave in and plunged in hungrily with my tongue, crushing his soft lips to mine, teeth gnashing for a stronger taste. Smoky Saiyan scent rushed irresistibly into my nostrils and a wave of heat swept over me; leaving my skin with a chill as I forced myself to stop, wrenching myself away, which felt no less agonizing than tearing myself in half.

It was over in a moment. I backed away to try to get ahold of myself, breathing hard and shaking a little.

Vegeta's lips were still parted slightly, his eyes closed; preserving the moment in the short space of time before his eyes blinked open and he looked at me. Confusion? Anxiety? Hope? Some bizarre mixture of the three scrawled across his visage.

"Vegeta, I..." I began unsteadily. Gods, I could still taste him on my lips, on my tongue, "...I didn't..."

I didn't mean to do that...

But was that true? I hadn't been listening to the monster at the time, and I hadn't felt the thoughtless impulse of letting instinct control me like I had in the past. It was entirely my decision to kiss Vegeta, and it was entirely my decision to register that I enjoyed it.

"It's alright, Kakarot." Vegeta said slowly, trying to meet my eye.

Yes, he had been a willing participant. Had by no means tried to stop me or take control. ...But he didn't understand that... that I didn't know why I'd let myself do that.

I unconsciously wrung my hands together indecisively. I wanted more, I couldn't deny that, but I was afraid. My last intimate encounter with the prince had not ended well... and had resulted in both of us suffering in different ways... Maybe it was safer that I denied myself this one great desire.

"I didn't mean to..." Well I did, but... "W-what I mean is... I shouldn't have..."

"Kakarot," Vegeta implored, "Please tell me you aren't about to leave again,"

"I..." I broke off, uncertain, "I don't... I don't know..."

Until the moment when I'd thrown away my doubts and the whispering guidance of the monster, I hadn't had any idea what I wanted. Now I had a very clear idea. Whether or not I should was another matter.

I kept my gaze on the ground, refusing to look at the prince as I knew it would influence and bias my decision.

"Please stay," Vegeta begged, "I…I think…"

I wrestled with myself, Vegeta's voice ringing in my ears even as echoes of his taste lingered in my mouth.

"I think I'm in love with you,"

My head snapped up. I wasn't sure I'd heard correctly.

"W-what?" I was completely floored. Of all things, I hadn't expected...

Vegeta was looking at me, slightly nervous, slightly... convicted.

….And that just made my decision even more complicated.

"You... You're serious?" I gasped. That one four-letter word stayed on loop in my mind; when was the last time I'd heard it directed at me? ... Too long ago.

Vegeta hesitated, then nodded twice.

He's waiting for you to say you love him back, after a long silence, the monster made itself known again, albeit quietly, So make up your mind; do you?

No... no, I would know if I... I thought frantically.

"I'm sorry…" I said slowly, "I… I don't feel the same…."

"Then why did you kiss me?" Vegeta demanded.

Oh gods, just the thought of it... Stop it. Answer his question.

"Because..." I began, what could I say? I scrambled for a reply and eventually just snapped, "I don't know, Vegeta, I just don't know!"

He glared at me, "All I know is that after you did, all that conflict in your eyes –" he snapped his fingers, "– just disappeared."

It was true, the moment I made up my mind and our lips connected, every trace of doubt and the niggling of the monster had been washed away. ...But that didn't mean that I... I just couldn't...

I took a step backward, already bringing a destination for escape to the forefront of my mind; knowing Vegeta wouldn't follow after his ki had drained earlier chasing me down.

I didn't expect him to stop me.

He grabbed my wrist forcefully before I could even budge another step.

"Oh, no you don't!" he growled, "Don't you dare!"

I glared at him, shoving the monster back in my mind... I wouldn't let it interfere now, this was my decision.

"If you don't know what you're feeling, you're going to stay right here until you figure it out," Vegeta said sharply, "Then, and only then, I'll let you go."

We both knew it was a half-empty threat; I was stronger than him on a bad day, and he couldn't afford to exert any more ki after he'd nearly passed out... But I couldn't help feeling that running away now would make me even more of a coward... and I'd just be left with my doubts and conflicted thoughts again.

So I stayed put.

And the only thing that really bothered me as I stood there was that I couldn't come up with a good enough reason for doing what I just did... And I didn't mean kissing Vegeta.

I couldn't come up with a good enough reason for making myself stop.

TBC

((Jeez, long chapter. Tomorrow's school though, so I'm going to kick it off with a good night of assaulting my keyboard and my battered vocabulary until 2 a.m...

Not sure if I liked the beginning of this chapter, but that brief kiss was one of the best ones I've ever written... if not the best.

Thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing. This story is so much fun to write, you have no idea.

-Shinsun))