Twists And Turns

Chapter 13

I watched the prince for a long time, studying the huge emotions crossing and recrossing his face. He'd always been so emotionless and cold when I knew him... I suppose this whole fiasco had caused him to undergo some identity changes too.

Silently, I waited for him to speak; to respond to my speech. I had known of a developing hate growing towards Vegeta, but it seemed over time it had merged with a warped idea of love. Just the emotion he had wanted me to feel. So then why was he so upset? I admit I hadn't laid the confession on him in a very pleasant way, but despite that I had been completely honest.

I only hoped the monster wouldn't resurface and make me say something I'd regret. It had been strangely quiet for now, and I wondered if I'd actually managed to suppress it myself...

Vegeta looked at me finally, and I could see the depthless conflict in his inky eyes. My gaze shifted to where the mark on his shoulder had reopened when he interfered with my attack on Gohan. A heavy drop of blood shivered on the edge of the torn skin before painting a red trail down his arm. I couldn't tear my eyes away.

"I have to go," he said carefully, averting his gaze. He leapt into the sky, and before I could think, I followed him.

"I'll go with you," I said instinctively; with a mix of the desire to be closer to him, and the primal concern for his wellbeing that had awakened -without my consent - rather suddenly.

"There's no need, Kakarot," he growled, glaring at me piercingly.

I shifted slightly, unnerved by his penetrating eyes. I was aware that he was dismissing me, telling me to get lost.

"If I leave," I said slowly, nervousness finding its way into the words somehow, "I'll get a migraine again..."

"No you won't," he snapped, "Because I'm ordering you to."

So he was back to commanding people; probably a mood swing, but it was startlingly like his old arrogant self. I didn't have a moment to consider feeling offended by him ordering me to do something.

He didn't wait for me to respond, and left without another word, leaving his scent and his words lingering with me.

X

I glanced around for Gohan, unsure whether I was relieved or irritated to find him gone without a trace. I found his ki-signal in northern West City, where ChiChi had gotten an apartment with the help of Bulma's finances. He must have sought refuge there, knowing I wouldn't follow him. I felt a twinge of guilt that my son was afraid of me, but a sliver of the anger that had caused me to assault him forbade me from thinking too deeply on the matter.

On the more pressing thought of Vegeta, I found myself frustrated. I wanted him; despite my misgivings I admit I desperately thirsted for his blood, for his scent and taste and the heat of his body close to mine. But I would not go after him. He had sent me away, and I wouldn't humiliate myself trying to pursue him like he'd pursued me. Besides, a part of me still hated him.

I noted that Vegeta had made it safely to Capsule Corp by his resurfacing ki-signature. I fought back a growl of jealousy as I thought of Bulma there, waiting for him, perhaps to comfort him, or ask about the bleeding wound on his shoulder that made him look like he'd been attacked by a wild animal.

Despite the years I'd spent fighting alongside the prince, getting to know him little by little; and the more recent intimacy that had started this whole mess... Bulma still knew far more about Vegeta than I did. She would be able to read him and understand exactly what he was feeling, she would be able to soothe him and advise him if what he sought was guidance...

He trusted her. I didn't have a clue if he trusted me. Probably not, I'd given him no reason to.

Swallowing my indecisive emotions, I teleported home. Goten was there, upstairs in his room, but I paid him little mind.

I realized that I was a mess; my hands and the side of my jaw stained with Vegeta's blood from when I'd bitten him, dust and sweat clung to my skin and tangled my hair, the front of my jeans still bore the drying evidence of the effect a taste of royal blood had caused on my body.

I grimaced and walked into the bathroom to clean myself up. I passed the mirror as I crossed the tile floor, and as a force of habit I carefully ignored it, refusing to look at the stranger wearing my face again.

Muttering to myself halfheartedly, I switched on the shower, turned the hot water knob, and absently watched the steam permeate the room. I shed my filthy clothes and stepped under the spray of water, streams of it running down my back as I glanced at my own hands almost without noticing. Splotched with Vegeta's blood, more of it caked beneath my fingernails. My eyes slipped closed as I drew on the recent memory, the remembered fiery taste of the prince's lifeblood taunting me. Unconsciously, I touched my fingers to my lips and licked the dried blood from them. It was a pale comparison to the real thing, hot and rich and living; but even that was enough to draw a soft sound of longing from me as I sucked away every trace of the red heaven on my hands. It was gone much too quickly, and my mouth and throat began to ache, parched for another taste, just one... The predictable words of an addict.

I had never touched a drug before in my life; and if this is what addiction was like, I was definitely going to keep it that way.

It was not a nice thing. When I say I craved the prince's blood, it automatically summons an idea of pleasure... but the reality was far from it.

When my teeth had broke the skin and Vegeta's blood had rushed into my mouth, it had overwhelmed me, overstimulating my senses and leaving them shell-shocked and dulled in its wake. Everything looked, smelled, and tasted bleak now. It was like the whole world had suddenly turned grey and I had no interest in it. Only the thought of being near the source of that surge of overpowering sensation brought me anticipation, or a shadow of happiness.

I was depressed, I knew that. And I suffered withdrawal. The longer I went completely without contact with the prince, the more I hurt, the more I sweated and twitched.

I sighed, and let the hot water pouring over me drench my hair and face, washing away grit and sticky perspiration. Remembering how that addictive blood had affected me had caused a throbbing to start in my gums again, urging me to sink my teeth into something, anything.

Frustration brought a quiet growl from my throat. Vegeta was far beyond my reach, and not just physically; he was not an option for the disturbing bloodlust stirring in me. The thought of biting a human made me want to either laugh or vomit, I wasn't sure which. I was not a vampire, I reminded myself, and the only kind of blood that would cut it would have to be Saiyan...

I blinked twice slowly, my gaze moving down my water-streaked arm to my wrist. A faint blue vein steadily transporting blood to my heart... I felt a distant nudge of the monster somewhere in my mind, and I shakily brought my own wrist up to my mouth, hesitating for a long moment.

Thoughts emptied from my head, scattered like dust, and I delicately broke my skin with my teeth, a sharp stab of protesting flesh mixing with diluted satisfaction as a thin ribbon of blood ran down between my knuckles. I watched in semi-guilty fascination as two bright red drops spattered on the white tile of the shower floor, fading pink as the water washed them down the drain.

I moved my wrist away and glanced at the shallow puncture marks I'd made, the scarlet rivulets snaking down my arm... and I felt like I'd done something morally shameful.

But that didn't stop me from opening another set of bite marks a little to the left of the original, plunging my teeth a little deeper this time. Hot, thick, Saiyan blood dripped down the side of my forearm, staining the tiles beneath my feet with more crimson dots.

Long minutes went by; I bit my own wrists like some people cut them, hating myself as I relished the effortless break of skin beneath my teeth, the startlingly bright red blood running down my arms and disappearing down the drain. Hating myself for knowing that, despite my persistence, I was achieving nothing to truly satisfy myself. There was only one person who could give me that level of relief, and I wasn't willing to give in to that desire. I wasn't willing to let myself be that weak.

Still, it kept me from going insane with the addiction that was fueled by the monster's encouragement.

I swallowed half a senzu to clear the dark bite marks from my skin, guiltily crawling into bed and laying down exhaustedly.

.

.

Why had I let myself bite Vegeta before? It had triggered this new mess that was making me more miserable than I'd been in a long time... why had I given up my restraint so easily?

Did I somehow secretly hope that I could make him mine by claiming him like that? I knew what the bite meant, but I wasn't sure why I had gone that far...

The fact of the matter was... I wasn't sure if I did want Vegeta to belong to me... But I didn't have a lot of choice now... either way, I couldn't help but feel disgusted with myself.

Monster in my head or no, what kind of person ignored everything they knew of right and wrong and did something that stupid and catastrophic on an impulse?

Let alone attack their own son for it...? What kind of person did that?

Me, I thought mutinously. And now that I'd gotten myself into this mess, I'd have to get myself out... on my own.

Fall from grace... and who's going to catch you? The monster whispered absently. I ignored it.

In fact, I thought I should probably keep ignoring the monster from now on. It had caused me nothing but trouble... but it had also gotten me so close to the prince that I had actually admitted to loving.

Love? I snorted as I lay awake, no intention to sleep tonight with my mind so cluttered... What did I know of love? Not enough to keep my first, or hold onto my second, wherever he was now.

TBC

((There's something kind of special I did in those last nine paragraphs... and if you can figure out what it is on your own, I'll give you a proverbial cookie. If not, feel free to ask, I'm really proud of it.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, sorry this chapter was a short bunch of angst and barely any dialogue...

-Shinsun))