My friend asked me to attempt a Naruto story. Unfortunately I know nothing about Naruto except for what I've been told and seen bits of in the past. So here it is.

Ninjas

Ninjas are strange and mystical creatures from feudal Japan. They often dress in black pajamas and go sneaking around in the night to murder people. Or make burgers and deliver them with stealthy speed to your local place of dwelling. I even saw this one Japanese restaurant where they hire real ninjas to serve sushi and special fire crafted dinners and attack the customers with real swords. It was very funny. But this is not about any of the ninjas like this. This is about special ninjas. They have the power of chakra. They dress in bright colors and live in hidden villages. And sometimes they have demons hidden within their bodies.

Such is the tale of Naruto. He was a ninja from the village of Leaves. I think it's Konoha in Japanese but I'm not sure if I spelled that right. So you get the English dub.

He was a ninja boy about fourteen years of age only he aged up to seventeen I think during the new season. And he has blond hair with spikes kind of like Bart Simpson or something only anime and from Japan and a ninja and not made by Matt Groening but Masashi Kishitomo who is a very very very very rich manga and anime artist I assume from all the Naruto memorabilia I've seen advertised around. Naruto has inside him a nine tails fox demon called the kitsune which is a terrifying beast who almost destroyed the world or something but it was sealed away by his father who was the forth Hokago or whatever that was. Popular ninja person who were revered and carved into a mountain. He was a lonely boy but he developed friends from the cast of other characters that he grew up with like the lovely and oddly haired Sakura or Saskugay the emo? According to some people. And Kakashi the ninja teacher who looked like he was on a like of drugs.

So one day Naruto was walking in a field.

"It sure is a nice day out," said Naruto looking into the bright sky. "I like clouds."

And then these other ninjas jumped out and attacked him but Naruto was the better ninja and he killed them all.

"You can't defeat me!" said Naruto. "I'm going to be the next Ho-something. Super popular ninja master or whatever that is," he declared.

"Oh Naruto. You're so stupid I hate you and love Sakuse!" yelled Sakura the female ninja. And she ran off to go cut her hair some more.

"Oh Sakura. I love you so much! But you don't love me back," whined Naruto.

And then Sasuke appeared. This was before he got kidnapped or something. "I hate you all. I'm fucking emo because my brother is evil but secretly not and now he's more popular than me because of it," he grunted.

"I'm not sure if I died or not in the series but I probably will." said the teacher ninja Kakashi. Because the person I'm writing this for doesn't even know due to not watching it either. I chortle. Don't hurt me.

And there was this guy who looked like a shark. He was weird.

The evil association of villains called the Akasuki suddenly appeared and tried to kill all of them except the shark guy because he was one of them.

But then out of the sky came CHUCK NORRIS and he killed everyone. Including Naruto and his friends. UH OH!

"This is the end of the fucking story! Now go to hell you bitch!" yelled Chuck Norris. "Just kidding!" And then he took a dump right there in the grass even though there was a stay off the grass sign, because he's CHUCK NORRIS and he does what he wants when he wants and nobody can ever stop him. Unless it's Bizarro Chuck Norris from the 9th Dimension who is like Chuck Norris only two inches smaller and one of his eyes is orange.

The End