To My Younger Self

"To my younger self, I'm writing you from 2020

You made it through the war and woke up to a new beginning"

Epilogue

"I never want to see your fucking face again!"

Frowning, Olivia jumped at the sound of the door slamming, hard. Sitting across the table with a matching glass of red wine, Abby shared her friend's look of concern. Athena's outburst was a surprise. Most of all, the sixteen year old's choice of words was a surprise. She had come a long way since her days of counseling toward managing her anger and outbursts.

"Did I miss something?" Abby wondered, her eyes drawn to the doorway at the sound of angry feet stomping up the stairs.

"You and I both," Olivia responded, glancing toward the large window overlooking the driveway in time to see Marisol, head down, power walking to her car.

"Isn't that Athena's best friend?" Abby tilted her head, watching the teenager slide into a blue mustang and slam the door before hitting the steering wheel with her hands.

"I thought so." Olivia pushed her glass away and stood from her seat. "I'll be right back, Abs."

"Go take care of your little girl, Liv."

"If she heard you say that…" Olivia shared an amused look with her friend before disappearing from the room and up the staircase.

Olivia found Athena in her bedroom, frantically ripping photos from the collage that had hung on her wall for years. Raising a brow, Olivia watched the carnage - finding it hard to hold her tongue as it became evident that the only faces surviving the wreckage were Athena's and Luca's. Years of memories littered the carpeted floor.

"Ath? What's this?" Olivia wondered, fully entering the room and pointedly glancing from torn photograph to torn photograph. Up close, the destruction was even worse. A few photos had escaped the original scissor attack, but had fallen to large, Sharpie slashes across both Maxson and Marisol's faces.

"It's years of friendship down the drain," Athena bit out, frowning and tossing another ripped photograph to the floor. "Just another reminder that most people suck."

"Most people do not suck," Olivia observed, settling into a sitting position on the floor.

"Well friends who cheat with their best friend's boyfriend do suck." Athena allowed a tear to trickle down her cheek and flung the scissors from her hand.

Olivia felt a pang in her chest at her daughter's tearful statement. Betrayal was never an easy thing. Reaching a hand out, she laid it on Athena's knee.

"I know you're going to hate this question, sweetheart, but are you absolutely sure that's what happened?"

Athena turned an incredulous look to her mom, a deep crease forming on her forehead as she furrowed her brows. "She sent him pictures, mom. I saw them. He didn't even try to fucking hide them! And there was a video. A freaking video!"

Olivia frowned, rubbing what she hoped were soothing circles on Athena's knee. "A video? That seems a little…Well, honestly, it almost seems like a setup."

Shaking her head, loose tendrils of hair flailing, Athena mumbled, "Only so far as him wanting me to know."

"Why would he want you to know?"

"Because I'm a frigid bitch who won't sleep with him." Lip quivering, Athena crawled through the mess, photographs crumbling under her, and practically threw herself into her mother's arms. "It's not that I don't love him. I'm just not ready."

"Oh honey." Olivia wrapped her arms around the teen, holding her close and stroking her back. "If he truly loved you, he wouldn't try to force you. Or cheat."

"That's not even what hurts the most," Athena sobbed, hiccuping, "I mean I've seen the way some guys at school have ghosted their girlfriends because they wouldn't put out. I hoped Max was different, but…Everyone at school acts like it's some great travesty to still be a virgin. What hurts the most is that Marisol…"

The rest of her sentence broke off into more hiccuping sobs. Olivia felt her chest tighten as Athena turned her face, undoubtedly staining the white shirt she wore with tears.

"Sweetheart," Olivia started, finding herself at a loss for words. What did one tell their teenage daughter after such a betrayal anyway? Olivia's thoughts wandered to her own best friend at Athena's age. Maddie had been the sister she'd never had. Most everyone had believed that Suzanne was her best friend - and why wouldn't they? Eddie and Fitz were close so the whole school believed that their girlfriends must be, too. Suzanne was nice, but Maddie was who Olivia told all of her secrets, and fears, to. And if Maddie had ever slept with Fitz…

"Mom," Athena pulled back a bit and, as Olivia had suspected, left a large, see-through patch on the front of her white blouse, "You don't have to say anything. Just…don't leave me alone, yeah?"

"I'll go make some excuses to Abby and ask your grandpa if Lio and Seph can just spend the night with him. I could probably get him to come get Jason, too." Olivia patted Athena's back one last time before placing her hands on the floor at her sides, using them to shove herself into a standing position. Healing after unexpectedly experiencing an amniotic fluid embolism with Jason and receiving an impromptu hysterectomy had been hell and she'd never completely regained her agility.

"Can…" Athena sniffled, taking a deep, shaky breath. "Can Bug just stay?"

"Yes he can." Olivia was quick to agree - she wasn't about to take the three year old from his sister after she'd explicitly asked for him. They were close and if toddler cuddles was what Athena needed to feel better, then toddler cuddles she would get.

"And can I invite Luca over?"

"Luca's always invited." Olivia gave a small smile, moving toward the door.

"I'll clean this up, mom. I promise."

Olivia turned to glance at her daughter, watching as the girl slowly began to reach for the shredded photographs. Her defeated posture and tear-stained cheeks sent another pang straight to Olivia's heart. "It can wait, Ath. Change into something comfortable, invite Luca over, and come downstairs."

"Liv?" Fitz whispered, entering the darkened living room and eyeing the group sprawled throughout. Athena was snoring softly, her head laying in Luca's lap and arms wrapped around a sleeping Jason - the little boy wrapped tightly around his sister. Luca was blinking in and out of sleep, his head falling back far enough to bounce off the back of the sofa every few seconds. On the screen, the roar of a T-Rex heralded the large dinosaur's arrival.

Olivia held up one finger, pushing from her position on the floor in front of Athena. Tiptoeing across the floor, she wrapped her hand around Fitz's bicep and guided him toward the kitchen. Glancing back toward the living room, smiling softly when she noted all the kids were now sleeping, she leaned against the counter.

"Athena had a rough day," Olivia offered as an explanation.

"Oh?" Fitz turned toward the coffee maker, popping a pod into the Keurig and reaching for a mug.

"She and Maxson broke up."

"I'm sure it'll blow over." He placed a mug under the coffee pot and the familiar drip-drip filled the room along with the warm, comforting smell.

"I don't think so," Olivia sighed, wrapping her arms around herself. "He has apparently been sleeping with Marisol."

Fitz dropped the spoon he held in his hand, the metal clanging against the countertop. "Di…At…What?"

"She's heartbroken. Understandably." Olivia moved around her stunned husband, pulling his mug from under the Keurig and adding a dash of milk and sugar to the dark brew.

"Fuck," Fitz finally ground out, a tendon sticking out in his neck as his shoulders tensed. "When did she grow up on us?"

"They've all grown up on us." Olivia smiled, handing the mug over to Fitz. "But if it makes you feel better, she claims that Maxson cheated because she wouldn't sleep with him herself. She's not ready for that yet."

"I don't think I'll ever be ready to hear or think about that." Fitz spluttered, coffee dribbling down his chin.

"Eventually, you're not going to be able to turn a blind eye to the fact that our daughter is becoming a young woman," Olivia teased, reaching forward with a towel to dab at his chin. "I'm going to make sure they all have blankets. Can you sweep up Athena's room?"

"What happened to Athena's room?" Fitz questioned, already setting his cup down and looking for the broom.

"The age-old teenage ritual of destroying any and all evidence of our best friends turned enemies. She offered to clean it up earlier, but…" Olivia shrugged, walking past her searching husband and pulling a broom and dustpan from near the trashcan.

"She'll appreciate that." Fitz took the broom and dustpan, trudging toward the hallway. At the doorway, he turned his head to call over his shoulder, "You're a pretty good mom, Liv."

"They're all still sound asleep," Olivia whispered, stepping out onto the porch. She joined Fitz on the wooden swing, sighing as he wrapped her in the same thick, fuzzy blanket that hung around his shoulders.

"You're going to let them sleep on the couch?" He raised a brow, sipping his coffee.

"Yeah. At least she's not crying. And I called Luca's parents. His mom is okay with him spending the night."

"At least that's one boy we won't ever have to worry about breaking our daughter's heart." Fitz shifted, freeing an arm to settle around her and pull her even closer.

"Those two absolutely adore one another," Olivia agreed, holding her hand out for Fitz's mug.

"And are thick as thieves. What did he have to say?" Fitz handed his mug over.

"He came up with some pretty…colorful acts of retribution. Mostly for Athena's benefit. To make her laugh."

"She'll be fine," Fitz nodded his head. "Now give me my coffee back, woman."

"It's warm!" Olivia protested, giggling at the look Fitz gave her before reluctantly handing the warm beverage over, burrowing her hands into his side at the loss of heat. "Do you really think she'll be okay?"

"As okay as any of us are," Fitz shrugged. "She's got us. Her brothers and sister. Luca. Her grandparents. She's a tough girl. She'll be okay."

"And if all else fails, I'm sure Sadie will help her TP his house."

"It's Sadie: she'll go for the eggs."

Olivia's laughter rang through the darkened, summer night. She watched as a firefly lit the sky around itself, counted to three and noticed another answering its call from a few feet away. Turning her face to Fitz's neck, her breath washing over the exposed flesh at his collar, she said:

"Thank you for choosing me again."