((Figured I should finish typing out this plot-sealing chapter here... it's kind of important. Ah well. I've been preoccupied and haven't been thinking about it much.
Reviews keep me alive. Takes a second, means a lot. Thanks guys.
-Shinsun))
Twists And Turns
Chapter 18
I couldn't have felt any worse about what I'd done if I tried. When reality caught up to me and I glimpsed Gohan sprawled unconscious in the dirt, what was left of my heart sank. How could I do that to my own son...? I could barely believe it had been my own hand that had crashed into him devastatingly, concussing him and nearly killing him.
If possible, I felt worse about what I had done to Vegeta. No matter what he may have done – even if he did deliberately bite my son and thereby destroy the one-sided mating bond that was now little more than a memory... it gave me no right to attack him like that; and put both him and the unborn child he carried in almost certainly fatal danger.
I teleported the unconscious demi and the shell-shocked prince to my own house, not knowing where else to go. I didn't want to answer Bulma's questions; forget about ChiChi's ranting... but without the problem-solving women to help, I had to rely on my own slightly-impaired sense of reason now. The house was empty, and throughout the transition both Vegeta and I were silent. I was by no means alone, but I felt like I was. I felt isolated and contained, cut off from everything and suffocating under the weight of my own heartbeat. I couldn't sense Vegeta anymore; even if he was standing right next to me, I couldn't feel his emotions and I could barely sense his ki... it was almost as if he'd vanished... or I'd vanished... though both of us were perfectly present and within a foot or so of each other, of course.
I gently lay Gohan on the sofa, feeling his forehead to be sure he was still with us, one of the living; and covering him carefully with a blanket, so that he'd at least wake up comfortable. I wished I could do more.
I was emotionally exhausted, and the prince stanchly beside me looked more physically so; I suggested that we get some rest, and he didn't answer, not looking at me. I sighed and lead him wearily up the stairs, slightly unsure. He sat down next to me on the bed in the center of the room, gazing distantly at the floor as if he couldn't see it.
I hesitated, studying his face, "Vegeta..." I said slowly, "...I really am sorry, you know."
There was no way of conveying how much I meant what I said, and I hoped words would be enough; Vegeta still wasn't meeting my eye. At least he seemed to have heard me this time.
He nodded slowly twice, "I know... I forgive you."
I let out a breath slowly. I didn't deserve his forgiveness, and I doubted he even knew the full extent of everything I had done recently; but just hearing him say it brought equal measures of sorrow and something that felt like peace to settle unsteadily in my chest. Weighted as I was by emotions I wasn't used to feeling, I let my eyes slip closed to process these new ones.
"I wish I could just..." I began softly, "...start over..."
Much as I wished I could forget everything that had happened and begin this whole thing anew, I couldn't take any of it back. I wouldn't. I had learned so much through trial and error, but I did wish I could erase all the pain and mistakes that had come with that new knowledge.
I looked at Vegeta; looking at him without sensing him, like he was a cardboard cut-out instead of the living, breathing person that I had finally come to love. Barely aware of what I was doing, I leaned against him from behind, just to verify his existence; and it felt so warm and safe to be near him... I wrapped my arms around him slowly, resting my exhausted face in the cradle of his strong shoulder. I didn't know how I ever existed without feeling this steady warmth close to me, the steadfast presence that I could no longer sense. I felt I had to have him in contact with every inch of my skin just to know he was still there. I felt inexplicably invisible, intangible; as if I would fade away if I let him go.
A knot of emotion welled up, and tears escaped from my eyes, wetting the fabric of the prince's shirt as I wept silently against him.
I felt Vegeta shift, and I felt his gaze on me; unable to sense the emotion that coordinated with it, "Kakarot, what's wrong?" he asked quietly, uncertainly.
"Everything." The word slipped from my lips before I could stop it, and only after it had been spoken did I realize how true it was. I felt like everything around me was just a big complicated mess that I had started, and no matter how I tried to fight free of it all, it never let me go.
"I-it's okay," Vegeta stammered; an attempt to comfort... Why did he want to comfort me? I had done nothing but hurt him; how could he stand to be near me?
I glanced up to try and glimpse his expression; getting one look at the concerned, confused face of the prince before letting my eyes flutter closed again, drawing in his scent slowly as my nose pressed to his shirt; steadying myself slightly.
"I feel... lost, Vegeta." I whispered. Once the words left my lips, more poured right after them; a shaky confession, "When the mark stopped working I felt like it was eating me alive... I couldn't feel you anymore... And now, I just... I feel empty."
I felt like a shell; hollow, cracked and stepped on, regretfully awaiting the day when I would shatter into little pieces and be swept away.
"I'm sorry I did that to you... I shouldn't have taken it so far..." said Vegeta; he sounded genuinely remorseful.
I turned him to face me, holding him close like a small child, feeling his warmth spreading through my chest... and I gently brushed my lips against his forehead, a gesture of sincere apology. Words weren't enough to tell him how sorry I was. All I wanted now was to mend the damage somehow.
"I don't know if it can be fixed," I whispered against his forehead, "But I'd be willing to try."
"How?"
I swallowed, "It wasn't mutual before," I said, speaking of the mating bond I'd so rashly thrown onto both of us, "I didn't have your consent, and the mark wasn't completed... maybe if we do it right..."
There was a promise in the last few words; an offer, an attempt to reconcile for both of our faults.
Vegeta looked unsure, "If... Kakarot, if we mate you won't be able to take it back... It'll be for keeps this time."
I looked at him, summoning my conviction, "I know."
He shifted his weight slightly, nervously, "I won't refuse...There was never any question. But I don't want you to do something you'll regret, Kakarot."
I wanted to tell him how long I'd forced myself to stay away from him; abstaining from that which I couldn't live without... how fiercely I'd kept myself waiting for just a brush of contact with his skin, just a glance from those depthless, ebony eyes. I wanted to tell him how deeply he enslaved me without even trying, and that I refused to fight it anymore.
"I won't regret becoming one with you, Vegeta." I said, "I wanted to start over, this is my chance."
His gaze dropped from mine, breaking another small connection between us.
I set my teeth, No more. This ends.. and begins -
"Now." I said aloud, "It's time."
X
At long last, after a seeming eternity of waiting and refusing, I let myself give in; enclosing Vegeta's lips with my own... Solace. Catharsis. Relief. Heat swept over me, my nostrils filling with the prince's fiery scent; and he lay back slowly, drawing me with him to straddle his waist. Despite the burn of anticipation and the eagerness thrumming through my body; I held back a moment. Vegeta's safety, and that of the unborn child, was more important than the desire all but crushing me from the inside out.
"You're sure?" I asked carefully, "I wouldn't mind if you'd rather -"
His lips covered mine, and I nearly moaned aloud with the unbearable contact.
"I'm sure." he said.
"Will it..." I began uncertainly, "...Will it hurt the baby?"
He looked hesitant, and then shook his head from side to side.
My eyes roved over him, briefly picturing the same bruises I'd caused on ChiChi's shoulders and hips that one time I'd lost control... what if I hurt Vegeta the same way? Saiyan blood or no, he wasn't indestructible.
But still... I knew what he was promising... what every facet of my being craved desperately...
"Don't think about anything," Vegeta murmured, likely reading the conflicted thoughts on my face, "Don't question it; act on it. Just like the first time."
I remembered that animal moment of exemption with the prince, and I winced slightly. I wouldn't let myself be an animal. I wouldn't make the same mistake I'd made then.
I shook my head, "That first time was just sex; just mindless fucking." I said bluntly, then my tone softened, "It's not the same. I don't want to have sex. I want to make love."
I leaned over him, inhaling his scent and allowing myself to feel the things I'd denied for too long. I cared about him, I wanted him... I loved him.
"And then," I went on, "I want to make you my mate again... and I want you to make me yours."
I captured his willing lips fervently, drowning in his taste from the moment it touched my tongue. Said tongue pressed between the prince's lips, and he instantly allowed me access.
The heat was building, bringing out sweat, and I was utterly drenched in the very essence of Vegeta; his scent, his taste, his presence... the satin-encased steel of his flawless form, pressed so intimately to my body. My fingers gripped the bedsheets, just to ground myself, to keep myself from soaring as my elated mind suggested. My legs wrapped around the prince's, and I was aware that I was shivering slightly.
"Gods, I want you," I gasped, unable to stand it, "I need you..." I nuzzled his neck slowly, reveling in the heat, brushing my lips against the skin to taste the cinnamon salt of sweat and Vegeta. Perfection incarnate. A low purr throbbed from my chest, my eyes flitting closed briefly.
"So take me," Vegeta whispered, wrapping his arms around my neck to press me against him. If I had needed any more permission, he'd just given it. I had his consent, and I sure as hell had my own. I had never wanted anything so much in my entire life.
I devoured his willing mouth, not even breaking away to draw breath... but breathing wasn't high on my list of priorities right now. My hands found the lower hem of his loose shirt, and I slipped it off over his shoulders before discarding it over the bedside. My gaze was drawn to the exposed skin, traveling hungrily over powerful, heaving chest; toned, sweat-beaded obliques, and the gentle, barely visible curve of his lower abdomen. I traced a hand absently down his chest, pausing before smoothing fingertips over the softer flesh that gave promise to the tiny life taking form within the prince. The life I had helped create...
My fingers stopped on the waistband of his leggings, feathering over the skin of his hips. I was impatient to remove the clothing, and when Vegeta arched in invitation with a quiet, beseeching sound... I couldn't help myself. Involuntarily, my fingers shredded through the spandex, ripping the flexible material to ribbons far more effortlessly than I should have been able.
I blinked as the prince removed my shirt quickly, with shaky hands, seeming to be as impatient as I was. I looked at him, captivated by the passion in his dark eyes, and enclosed his mouth with mine for a moment. He moaned softly, his breath hot on my face, and I touched my lips to his briefly once more.
I had waited long enough. I disconnected the kiss and sat back on my heels, reluctant to break contact with him for even a short time. But the remaining clothing had to go, and I wasn't keen on burning away one of the few decent pairs of jeans I owned. I slipped out of the pants quickly, aching for the prince's touch in the scant moments that I was deprived of it. It felt more like being deprived of oxygen. Something vital that would kill me if I was left without it.
Desperate as I was, I didn't want to hurt Vegeta... I didn't want him to associate any of this with pain. I spat in my palm and dove in for another deep kiss, stroking myself once to lubricate and ready myself. The moment stretched out, and gradually I pressed forward, easing into the prince's tight heat. I felt the vibration of his groan against my lips, but I couldn't hear it. For a moment I had gone deaf, and I was sure my heart was going to beat out of my chest, or stop altogether.
The first thrust was heaven, and I felt like I would pass out from the slowly smoothing friction and blissful, wonderfully sweltering pressure that I had almost forgotten I wanted so much.
I hesitated, before drawing back slowly, and then plunging into the prince, again, repeating the motion over and over. Each thrust grew fiercer and surer as I gained confidence, and the long moan I elicited from Vegeta's throat was a sweet reward for my effort.
I could feel a dull pulsing clenching at my gums as I established a steady pace, aided by the slow writhe of the prince below me, pressing his mouth more fully against my own.
The purr in my chest dropped a few octaves, constricting almost into my throat and becoming a low growl, and my lips left Vegeta's to hover over his shoulder, inhaling his narcotic scent shakily.
I kissed the scarred flesh gently, disregarding the ache building in the roots of my teeth telling me to bite. I wanted to savor the moment, though the promise of the prince returning to my void soul was an inducement I couldn't refuse.
"K-Kakarot," Vegeta pleaded, panting for breath, "Pl-please..."
I looked at him carefully, ignoring the painful cramping of my mouth and reading the desperation in his eyes.
"Do it," he groaned, lifting his hips, reminding me that I remained deep inside him; a brief moment without movement, "Do it now!"
I couldn't have said no even if I had an ounce of denial in my entire body. Still I was hesitant, remembering what had happened before... I shoved the thought aside. It would be different now. I would make it different now.
My lips drew back and I touched the scar with my aching teeth, succumbing to instinct and sinking them into the shallow but permanent indentations I'd created before. Blood – oh gods, hot, thick, amazing Saiyan blood – flooded into my mouth, activating nerves I thought I'd forgotten, awakening senses I had numbed; raw pleasure pounding in my head until I thought I would black out.
Vegeta released a shout; shivering for a moment before sitting up with a growl, driving me to sit up as well or lose my balance; and I had no warning before he bit down hard on my shoulder.
My head snapped up, pulling my teeth out of the prince's mark. Every muscle tensed as my own blood poured into Vegeta's mouth, and a wrenching groan escaped between my lips. Oh, I understood now why Vegeta hadn't protested when I bit him, it was incredible. And with his blood still fresh on my tongue, I found myself teetering on the brink of climax... but not so oblivious as to disregard the emotions flowing through me. The very essence of Vegeta himself returning to me, stronger and sharper and more complete than it had ever been before. Memories, feelings, everything that made up what and who he was... A powerful rush of protectiveness gripped me; so strong that I knew I would willingly die for him, and I knew he would do the same for me.
Vegeta let go of my shoulder and looked at me, a thrill of connection that I couldn't explain. His acceptance and mine a final link in the bond forming and reinforcing between us by the moment. It was time to finish this. I shifted for leverage, and Vegeta shot forward and latched his lips onto mine in the moment that I thrust into him with my full strength, his blood on my lips and mine on his, mixing indescribably for a matter of seconds. I felt him stiffen, and my muscles locked as well as we came together, my ragged scream muffled against the prince's mouth, his own shout reverberating against mine. Forever and an instant passed as one, and in the moment that my mind was utterly wiped, I forgot for a second where I ended and Vegeta began. Our identities were so intermixed that I could briefly convince myself that we were one person.
Finally we broke away from each other, and I slid out of him. I leaned back, gasping for breath, hearing Vegeta's breathless panting echoing mine. I was drained, tired, bleeding... and completely, utterly satisfied for the first time in over two months. Maybe for the first time in my whole life.
"D-did it..." Vegeta began unsteadily, "...feel like that for you last time?"
I wasn't sure if he meant the marking or the entire experience, but my response answered both.
I shook my head fervently, dispelling sweat, "If it had... I would never have left." I said exhaustedly.
One thing was certain; I would never leave him now. I doubted it would be physically possible to do so, and I wouldn't either way. I didn't care about anything else; the world could end as long as I had my mate – my mate – with me.
The monster was still silent, and I wondered absently if I killed it by claiming my mate at last... or maybe I was just too worn out to listen at the moment.
TBC