The air was dark. The sky cried tears of slithery granulated pearl colored droppings. Most of which were made from apple cores. The garbage disposal had blown, wouldn't you know.
Shipley and company headed further into the decrepit bowels of the currently unmanned space camp. There were doors. There were windows. There were chairs. But most terrifying of all, there were traces of human blood and fecal matter all around. It seemed the xeonmorphs had been very busy.
"I'm going to vomit!" wretched Chote as he grasped in vain desperation for a bucket or two. A waste basket set along side a desk where an unfinished Twilight novel lay perched would suffice. He buried his head within its warm and welcoming confines, like a mother's womb, and let forth the contents of his bile filled stomach spill. "BAAAAARF" yelled out Chote.
Buff only looked on with a disinterested and condescending glare. His confusion grew when Chote squelched up a half digested sack of cocaine. He stepped over and pocketed it while the man was effectively distracted, not wanting to waste a good opportunity.
"Come on you fags," ordered Shiply with the most masculine set of moobs she could muster as she unhooked her bra strap just to give the guys a little more incentive.
"Oh JESUS put that away!" cried the nerd character. But he secretly was turned on by all the little hairs and moles covering the jiggling bulbous flesh bag.
Suddenly, without warning, and completely unknown and shocking to the previous group, a xenomorph came crashing through the wall. Or through an open door, or something, possibly.
"OH SHIT GUYS, don't look now but here comes one of those big ugly suckers!" yelled Buff as he drew out his omegacanonrifleshotgun. He fired several times but being that he was chock full of anti-psychotic meds his aim was slightly askew and he did not hit anything.
Growl!" said the xenomorph as it charged at them.
"Oh why now? Why?" cried Chote whose head was still firmly encased inside his mother waste bucket, filled with the sweet sweet smell of acids and gruel and little Ritz Bitz cheese crackers, and a Milk Dud here and there. He was so very startled by the rapid intrusion and attack, he pooped a little.
"Look out, they're coming inside!" Buff screamed and fired more. This time he was fortunate enough to hit a lamp which bounced off the ceiling and knocked a bunch of concrete down onto the evil beast. It fell down and stopped moving. OR DID IT?
"We're all gonna die!" shrieked the nerd character. And then he was torn asunder by a random xeno who burst through the lower floor tiles. Aww. We all weep tears of cold sorrow like when that bitch Hudson died when they grabbed his legs through the floor tiles. Just like this one only he was actually kind of cool. Maybe.
"Fall back, group!" commanded Shiply even though nobody in their right minds was hearing any of it because nobody really liked her and we all knew she was a fucking Mary Sue who would never ever ever live up to the magnificent character Sigourney Weaver played. But what kind of name is that anyway? Holy shit.
Chote tried to get back up, his pants sloshing with wet thick noises as the material rubbed against his buttocks, the squishy stinking warm release massaging his hairy man flesh with its tender sluty kisses. He enjoyed it, being a secret scat fetishist. That's why he had to die.
And then the other xenomorhphs descended upon him and sliced off his arms and legs before eating his chest case and pulling out several of his ribs and then stuffing their eyeless faces into his chest cavity and inhaling the fantastic scent of his innards and one of them started chewing on his left lung. There was lots of deep crimson colored delicious blood for all to enjoy. And a little poop here and there of course. One time I saw this really sick anime hentai where some demon ate some girl's poop while this lesbian watched. It was really bizarre. But then again, it was Japanese so it's normal to be like that I suspect. Their entire country is exceedingly fucked up.
Shipley got bored and fired off a random shot into the air, just to break up Buff and Blakman who were engaged in a atrocious bout of gangbangery on Vadge. And she was bent over the table like the good little kitchen dwelling sandwich maker she was inevitably destined to be made into and taking it well. That was until another xenomorph who had become quite aroused from seeing Resurrection tried to jump in and make it a foursome but no one had informed him that his tail was not an acceptable tool for mating with a human, though it was phallic in nature and symbolism. So Vage died a horrible death. Unless you visit Japanese web sites. They like that kind of thing. I told you they're sick. They have videos of dogs vomiting into women's mouths and then the women eat it and rubber sex toys for men that are of young children's genitals. Google it. I dare you. Japan needs to be burned off the face of the earth.
"Babyfuck!" screamed Buff knowing the end was near. And it was.
"Blakman! Get down!" shouted out Chiply as she raised her cybernetic arm cannon-gatling gun. Nobody knew she had that. It didn't matter however, for it wasn't so much a cybernetic arm cannon-gatling gun as it was one of the plastic Kenner Aliens battle mobile movie replicas that she had duct taped to her arm. Because she was pretty much an insane retard. But nobody had known that, either.
So Blakman was the next to be held down and raped by the xenopenis. Which was not really a penis, so it's okay because it was not really rape. The tail ventured inside Blakman's rectum, through his small intestines, taking a short cut through his sternum, past some removed organs, lovingly caressing his tonsils before shooting back out his large mouth and waggling around just for show.
"GHGHGHDHJSDJAKD," whispered the burly Africanite as he suffocated on his own screams for mercy.
Buff was just standing there in the corner jerking Mr. Giggles. Shuply looked discouraged and shook her head slowly.
"Why did I hire these idiots?" she muttered.
And then the planet was nuked by the federation because it had been the plan all along. Then everyone celebrated with some Smirnoff and Red Bull and finger sandwiches.
The End.