"Last I saw mother she smelled like a rose
When they caught me the captain, he opened my nose
'Cause a rabbit will run, and the wind takes a bird where it blows
We all traded lovers and woke up alone
And we clapped for the king, though our fingers were cold
And I still have a prayer, one that I cannot control "

Rabbit Will Run – Iron & Wine

She wasn't asleep when they attacked. She wasn't even in her bed-clothes. She wasn't even in her chambers. She had been sitting in the lounge, propped up in a huge leather arm-chair, poring over another ancient and tragic book of poetry.

Such depressive things likely aren't helping. She tried to convince herself. But I feel such relief in these words that belong to someone else… the poet speaks to me from the pain that built up so much in his own heart…

Her anxiety had eased over the course of the day. She had bid Fergus goodbye and found some time to run her hound. She still felt unbearably sad, but no longer deigned to kill herself now that she was alone.

She looked to the door every now and again as she took the time to turn the pages in her fingers. Part of her hoped that the Warden Commander she had seen earlier would announce himself and tell her that there were no other worthy recruits to the Grey Wardens in the castle and that it'd have to be her that would leave Highever with him.

No such thing happened though, and Elissa knew it was un-ladylike to carry such childish hopes so late in the night. She did know though that she hated the fact that the only excuse she had to leave this place was about to slip past her fingers.

She frowned when a knock actually did occur and she stood from the chair, her fine skirts unfolding around her knees as she did so.

"You may enter." She said and she took an unwilling step back when one of the castle guards tumbled through the door, breathing heavily and seemingly holding his insides in his body with his hands.

"They've attacked…" The guard gurgled, fresh blood oozing down the corner of his mouth as he swayed on the spot, clinging to the door. Elissa immediately rushed to the guard's aid, not caring when he knocked her off her feet when he finally gave way and fell into her arms.

"Who?" She asked, hurriedly tearing her skirt hem away and pressing it against the fatal wound on the man's abdomen.

"Arl Howe's men…" The guard choked. "They waited… they waited until night fell and they… turned on us." He dragged a bloody hand across her face. "M'lady… you must escape."

"Escape?" She whispered, dazed, before shaking her head. "No. Where's my father? My mother?"

"No." The guard hissed, his breath becoming ragged and indicative of his imminent death. "You need to survive. Tell Fergus…" His breathing halted and his eyes blanked. Elissa stood up and a shuddering breath swept through her body as she tried to grasp the reality of the situation.

She grasped it soon enough, along with the hilt of the dead guard's sword.

If this is how I am to die, so fucking be it.

The weapon she yielded was fine, but she used it clumsily; swordplay was not a priority in the Cousland's house. Not for Elissa anyway. While her father agreed that it was indeed prudent that she be able to take up arms and protect herself should the need to arise, she was certainly no knight and she hacked her way grittily to her parent's bedchamber, arriving bruised and bloodied.

"Mother!" She shouted, pounding on the door with a balled fist and surely broken knuckles. "Mother it's me!"

The door swung open and Lady Cousland revealed herself, sword in hand, wearing the family armour.

"Have you been in here this whole time putting that plate on by yourself?" Elissa asked, unable to prevent the flippant remark from leaving her lips.

"Where's yours?" Her mother chided. "This isn't a game, Elissa."

Elissa pointed down the hall with her bloody sword. "I've killed eight so far: There are more coming. We need to find Father." She started pulling her mother in one direction but the elder Cousland halted and started pulling in the opposite direction. "He left to try and stall the men from reaching us, Elissa. We must escape. If something happens to us, and he fails it will have been for naught."

Elissa hauled stubbornly in her original direction. "Are you really going to let Howe's men take Highever from us?" She snarled, her blood angry. "I would die with the rest of the men who would die for our family, rather than scurry out a tunnel in the larder like some sort of rat."

"Elissa please!" Her mother begged. "What good will our family be if we all lay dead?"

Elissa sighed and wiped a bloody hand over her face, smearing the red evidence of her astounding desire to live over her cheeks. It was at that point she suddenly realized: I don't want to die.

Not by poison, not by falling, not by the sword.

I want to stay alive.

"Very well." She finally caved. "To the larder."

It disturbed her a great deal, she decided as she ran as fast as her feet could carry her, that her already heavy dress was now tattered and made even heavier by the blood she was drenched with: This was not the purpose she was bred for. She was bred to be a lady of court and marry into another family of noble blood and produce lovely little children and be ever-charming and witty.

There was a squish and another spurt of blood as she slipped her blade between the ribs of another one of Howe's men.

No, a dress was certainly not suited to this sort of activity.

But, she shrugged inwardly as she struggled to yank the sword out of the corpse. It seems I am.

Her vision flashed gold and blue when a gloved fist met with her face and she felt hot blood pouring from her newly broken nose as she struggled to get off of her back and find her feet.

"Elissa!" Her mother cried, somewhere from the shattering flashes of colour and she blinked feverishly, dragging her sword up from the ground, the tip of it scraping against the stone: It felt so heavy.

She heard a malevolent chuckle to her right, "This one has spirit. From my experience those ones squirm the most."

She wanted to sob, break down, fall to her knees and let them take her away and do what they would with her. This was too hard. It was too much work. She was a lady, not a warrior.

"Elissa! Swing your sword!" Her mother shouted as if giving her daughter a fair scolding for stealing sweets from the kitchen.

A cracked wail fell from her lips and blood dribbled down her chin and made her face itch and she narrowly avoided another blow. "Mother I… I can't." She dodged another blow, though this time her sword clattered to the ground. She looked up in time to see Howe's man, arms above his head, ready to bring an axe down on her.

Very well… let it be.

The blow never came and the man fell sideways, dead with blood steadily pouring from the ear-to-ear gash in his neck that had been put there by Lady Cousland.

"Pick that sword up, Elissa." She panted. "You pick it up and you do not drop it again, do you hear me? I am not losing my only daughter on this night."

"Yes mum." Elissa whispered, pulling herself up with her sword.

"Come. The way from here should be clear." Lady Cousland hurried away and Elissa did her best to keep up despite the bloodied hem of her dress catching frequently on the gore that surrounded them.

She felt so numb by the time they rushed into the larder to see her father bleeding on the floor that she didn't even cry out when she saw him in such a state; she had seen the guard earlier. She knew her father was not long for this world.

"You have to leave…" he explained, his face ghastly white. "If the Couslands are to survive… if Highever is to remain in our hands… escape. Find Fergus…"

"Mother…"

"I am staying."

"But –"

She waved away the argument before it began. "Bryce, you are too injured to leave… Elissa, I love you dearly. Send Fergus our love and be very certain to bury a dagger hilt deep in Arl Howe the next time you are given chance."

Elissa looked up to realize that the Warden Commander, Duncan was standing above them.

"Where were you?" She breathed as fury rose in her. "Where have you been?! You could have stopped all of this, you wretch!" She shot to her feet and made a threatening step towards the warden. "What of the great, fabled bravery of the Grey Wardens?"

"Elissa." His father scolded softly. "Duncan brought me here. He protected me so that I may get this far and… and say goodbye."

Elissa chewed on her lip and felt a muscle twitch in her jaw. "Is this true?" She demanded.

"It is, my lady." Duncan said calmly, apparently not at all un-nerved by her furor. "I can also ensure you make it out of here alive. Though, Teryn Cousland, I ask for something in exchange."

"Yes, yes… I know what you speak of." The dying Teryn said from the floor, coughing on a bit of blood. "Let my daughter become a warden then, in exchange for your service."

"Service?" Elissa snapped, nearly completely unhinged at this point. "You lay dying on the floor, Father. I will not be bartered over like some sort of livestock for a price that is wholly unfair!"

Duncan remained calm, almost amused and it only inflamed Elissa's temper further.

"You mustn't be deceitful, m'lady… you desired this."

She thought her teeth might crack, she was pressing them so hard together.

"So be it then." She said. "But let it be known that I leave with you for that reason only."